Cleave: The Podcast

On Palm Sunday, the crowds welcomed Jesus with praise, palm branches, and celebration. But beneath that moment was a painful tension: many people were not surrendering to who Christ truly was. They were embracing who they hoped He would be.

In this mini episode of Here’s the Lesson, Jon explores what Palm Sunday reveals about discipleship, people-pleasing, family pressure, Christian boundaries, and the cost of following Jesus when truth disrupts the systems around you.

This episode is for the person who is trying to be faithful to Christ but feels torn between obedience and approval… between truth and keeping the peace… between honoring others and betraying what God is doing in their own heart.

If you’ve ever wrestled with questions like:

• Why does following Jesus sometimes create tension in relationships?
• What does Palm Sunday teach us about people-pleasing?
• Can a Christian set boundaries and still be faithful?
• What happens when Jesus doesn’t fit the expectations of the people around us?
• How do I follow Christ when family pressure, guilt, or religious image management are pulling at me?

This conversation is for you.

In this episode, Jon talks about:

• the deeper meaning of Palm Sunday
• why crowds are dangerous places to build your identity
• how people-pleasing can disguise itself as faithfulness
• the difference between following the real Christ and following a version of Jesus that protects our comfort
• why discipleship often requires disappointing people
• how Christian faith, truth-telling, and emotional maturity are deeply connected

If you are navigating emotionally immature family dynamics, religious guilt, boundary-setting, estrangement, or the painful tension between loyalty and truth, this episode will help put language to what you may be carrying.

Leave Then Cleave is a podcast about Christian boundaries, family dysfunction, estrangement, emotional maturity, marriage, healing, and learning how to follow Jesus with honesty and courage.

If this episode resonated with you, here are a few ways to keep going:

Get the book: Leave Then Cleave was written for the person who loves God, loves family, and still finds themselves carrying confusion, grief, pressure, or pain in their closest relationships. It explores what it means to follow Christ with honesty when loyalty has become unhealthy, peace has become appeasement, and truth feels costly. This book offers language, clarity, and a faithful path forward for those navigating boundaries, family dysfunction, emotional immaturity, estrangement, and the deep work of choosing truth without losing their soul.
Download the free first chapter by commenting or messaging CHAPTER on our social content
Book a Clarity Conversation with Jon
Explore more episodes, articles, and resources at leavethencleave.com

If this podcast is helping you, please follow the show, leave a rating or review, and share this episode with someone who may need it.

What does it actually mean to be a “peacemaker” as a Christian?

For many of us, “keeping the peace” meant staying quiet…
avoiding conflict…
and carrying things that were never ours to carry.

But that’s not the peace Jesus talked about.

In this episode, we break down the difference between true peacemaking and unhealthy appeasement, and why so many people—especially in family systems—confuse silence with peace.

If you’ve ever struggled with:

• Setting boundaries with family
• Feeling guilty for speaking the truth
• Being labeled “difficult” for not staying quiet
• Trying to follow Christ without losing yourself

This episode will help you reframe what peace actually looks like.

Because real peace is not the absence of tension…
it’s the presence of Christ in how you live, speak, and set boundaries.

🔑 In this episode, we cover:

• Why “keeping the peace” often leads to self-abandonment
• The biblical meaning of peacemaking (and what it’s NOT)
• How to set Christ-centered boundaries without guilt
• Why you can’t control others’ repentance or emotional maturity
• What it means to say: “This stops with me.”

📖 Want to go deeper?

We wrote Leave Then Cleave for people navigating exactly this— family tension, boundaries, faith, and emotional clarity.

👉 Get the first chapter FREE: https://www.leavethencleave.com/free-chapter

🎙️ Listen, watch, and connect:

🌐 Website: https://www.leavethencleave.com📩 Join the Weekly Note📖 Get the book: https://www.leavethencleave.com/store🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@leave_then_cleave

📱 Follow for more:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leave_then_cleaveFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/Livingintruthproject

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s been told “keeping the peace” means staying silent.

Because it doesn’t.

Have you ever been told, “Don’t talk about that… it’s gossip”—when you were just trying to make sense of something painful?

In many families and faith communities, truth-telling gets mislabeled as gossip. And when that happens, harmful patterns stay protected, voices get silenced, and the people who need support the most are left carrying it alone.

In this episode, we break down the difference between gossip and truth, why this confusion happens, and how to discern when speaking up is actually an act of integrity—not betrayal.

If you’ve ever questioned yourself for naming something that felt off… this episode is for you.

You’ll learn:

• The real difference between gossip and truth
• Why “keeping the peace” can actually protect dysfunction
• How silence reinforces unhealthy systems
• A better question to ask when you’re told to stay quiet

This is about clarity, courage, and learning how to walk in truth—wisely.

📖 Get the Free Chapter of Leave Then Cleave
Start here if this episode resonated:
👉 https://www.leavethencleave.com/free-chapter

📘 Get the Full Book (Ebook, Audiobook, + Workbook Bundles)👉 https://www.leavethencleave.com/store

🎙️ Explore More Episodes + Resources👉 https://www.leavethencleave.com

🎵 Eterna Tribute (Custom Songs for Loved Ones)👉 https://www.eternatribute.com/collections/memorial-collection/products/custom-tribute-song

Why do conversations with your parents feel impossible?

Why does it feel like you’re asking for something simple—honesty, accountability, understanding…
and getting defensiveness, silence, or “we did the best we could” in return?

In this episode, we break down what’s actually happening beneath the surface.

This isn’t just a communication issue.
It’s not just personality differences.

👉 It’s generational.

We walk through:

• Why older generations struggle with emotional accountability
• How therapy culture changed the way millennials see relationships
• Why “we did the best we could” feels so painful to hear
• The real reason family systems resist truth and change
• And why awareness can feel both clarifying… and incredibly isolating

If you’ve ever felt:

• misunderstood by your parents
• frustrated trying to explain your pain
• or questioned your own reality in family relationships

This episode will give you language—and clarity—for what you’re experiencing.

Because you’re not imagining it.

You’re seeing something that previous generations were never taught to see.

And while that awareness can feel heavy…
it’s also where generational healing begins.

📖 Want to go deeper?
Our book Leave Then Cleave walks through how to navigate boundaries, truth-telling, and healing in family systems—without losing yourself in the process.
You can find it here: leavethencleave.com/store

🎵 A meaningful way to honor someone you love:
If you’re navigating grief—or want to preserve the story of someone important in your life—check out the Custom Tribute Song at EternaTribute.

They take memories, stories, and moments… and turn them into a professionally written and recorded song your family can keep forever.

👉 Learn more: www.eternatribute.com/products/custom-tribute-song

🎙️ Cleave is about learning to leave what’s unhealthy—and cleave to what’s true.

What happens when you set a healthy boundary… and instead of being met with understanding, you become the target of a smear campaign?

In this episode of Here’s the Lesson, Jon shares a personal story about what unfolded after he and his wife Ashley set boundaries within their family—and how quickly the narrative shifted from the truth… to attacks on his character.

Rumors were spread.
Assumptions were made.
And the focus moved away from the real issue entirely.

If you’ve ever experienced family conflict, toxic family dynamics, narcissistic abuse, or emotional manipulation, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening beneath the surface.

🔍 In this episode, we explore:

• What a smear campaign really is (and why it happens)

• Why people attack your character instead of addressing the boundary

• How triangulation and narrative control show up in families

• The connection between boundaries and emotional backlash

• Why you may feel confused, anxious, or like you need to defend yourself

• How to stay grounded in your identity when others try to rewrite your story

Smear campaigns are often used in toxic family systems when someone begins to break patterns, set boundaries, or speak the truth.

Instead of accountability, the system shifts into protection mode—creating stories, distorting reality, and isolating the person who disrupted the pattern.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “Why are they saying this about me?”

• “How did this get so twisted?”

• “Why do I feel like I have to defend who I am?”

You’re not alone—and you’re not crazy.

📖 Want to go deeper?

We wrote our book to help people navigate boundaries, estrangement, family systems, and emotional healing—especially when telling the truth comes at a cost.

👉 Read the free chapter here.

👉 Or explore the full book.

🌱 This episode is for you if you are:

• Dealing with toxic family relationships

• Experiencing a smear campaign or character attack

• Learning how to set boundaries without guilt

• Navigating estrangement or no contact

• Trying to understand narcissistic or emotionally immature family systems

• Working on healing, identity, and emotional clarity

You don’t need to win the narrative to stay in the truth.

And sometimes, the presence of a smear campaign is the clearest sign…
that you told a truth the system couldn’t tolerate.

If you’ve ever set a boundary with your family and immediately felt guilty… this episode is for you.

That voice that starts asking:
“Was that too harsh?”
“Am I hurting them?”
“Am I being selfish?”

For many people, that guilt is enough to pull them right back into old patterns—people-pleasing, over-explaining, and abandoning themselves.

But here’s the truth:

Guilt doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong.

Sometimes… it means you’re doing something different.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why guilt shows up when you start setting boundaries

• How family systems react when you step out of your role

• Why confidence comes after the boundary, not before

• And how to move forward even when it feels uncomfortable

Because for many, this isn’t just uncomfortable… it feels like grief.

And that’s part of the process of building something healthier, more honest, and more aligned.

If you’re navigating boundaries, family tension, or the emotional weight that comes with telling the truth—this episode is for you.

🔗 Learn more about the Custom Tribute Song mentioned in this episode:

https://www.eternatribute.com/products/custom-tribute-song

📘 Explore our book + additional resources:
Read the first chapter for free! www.leavethencleave.com/free-chapter

or purchase the ebook or audiobook on our store:

www.leavethencleave.com/store

Thank you all for your continued support! It means the world to us. Thank you for being here.

This episode is a special release from our new book, Leave Then Cleave: Breaking Unhealthy Patterns Without Losing Your Faith.

What you’re about to hear is the opening segment from the book — a chapter we call “The Letter.”

It tells the story of the night everything changed for our family.

After months of trying to address difficult patterns inside a family system built on silence, control, and spiritual pressure, we received a seven-page message that made one thing painfully clear:

The system was not interested in truth.

It was interested in restoring the status quo.

That night forced us to make one of the most difficult decisions of our lives — establishing a boundary we didn’t even have language for at the time.

Today many people call that going no contact.

But at the time, we simply knew that returning to the system would cost us something we were no longer willing to lose.

If you’ve ever struggled with:

• family estrangement
• manipulation wrapped in religious language
• guilt around setting boundaries
• or the painful decision to step back from unhealthy relationships

this story may resonate deeply.

This is only the beginning of the journey.

The full book explores the deeper dynamics behind family systems, truth telling, boundaries, and healing in complex relationships.

If this episode resonates with your experience navigating difficult family relationships, consider following the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on boundaries, healing, and faith.

You can find the full book and audiobook here:

https://leavethencleave.com/store

Why do people easily condemn abuse when it appears in the news… but struggle to confront it when it happens inside their own families or communities?

In this Here’s the Lesson mini-episode, Jon explores a powerful blind spot that exists in many family systems: moral clarity is easy when the villain is distant, but much harder when the person causing harm is someone we know and love.

Drawing from gospel principles and the teachings of Jesus, this episode explores why families sometimes protect unhealthy dynamics, why communities often prioritize peace over truth, and what real integrity looks like when confronting difficult realities.

Christ consistently stood with the vulnerable and confronted systems that exploited or harmed others. His example invites us to consider what it means to follow truth—even when it costs something.

Here’s the lesson:
Condemning evil from a distance is easy.
Integrity is revealed when the truth becomes personal.

Ashley and Jon’s new book explores these themes in greater depth, including how to navigate difficult family relationships, establish healthy boundaries, and pursue healing without abandoning faith.

Download Chapter One for free:
👉 https://www.leavethencleave.com/free-chapter

If this episode resonated with you:

• Share it with someone who might need it
• Follow the podcast for weekly episodes
• Leave a review to help others discover the show

Your support helps these conversations reach people who are navigating difficult family dynamics and searching for clarity.

📖 Want to Go Deeper?🎙 Connect With Us

Why does God allow betrayal, injustice, and seasons that feel like the pit?

In this episode of the CLEAVE Podcast, Jon and Ashley explore the story of Joseph in Egypt and what it teaches us about suffering, family betrayal, faith, and personal transformation.

Joseph’s story is one of the most powerful narratives in scripture. He is betrayed by his own brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused, and imprisoned for years.

Yet through every trial, the scriptures repeat the same message:

“The Lord was with Joseph.”

In this conversation we explore what that really means — and how God can be present even when life feels deeply unfair.

Jon shares the story of receiving devastating news about his father’s stage-four brain cancer while serving a mission in Japan, and how that moment completely reshaped his understanding of faith, suffering, and God’s purposes.

Together, Jon and Ashley discuss:

• Why family betrayal cuts so deeply
• The difference between forgiveness and restored trust
• Why prosperity does not equal peace
• How bitterness can trap us if we stay there
• Why suffering can become a source of strength and wisdom
• What the Joseph story teaches about boundaries, healing, and redemption

If you've ever wrestled with questions like:

Why did this happen to me?
Why do people who hurt others seem to prosper?
How do I move forward after betrayal?

This episode will help you see suffering through a new lens.

Because sometimes the pit is not punishment.

Sometimes it’s preparation.

If this episode resonated with you, here are three ways you can help this message reach more people:

1️⃣ Follow the podcast on Spotify or Apple so you never miss an episode.

2️⃣ Share this episode with someone who might be walking through their own Joseph season.

3️⃣ If you're listening on Apple Podcasts, leaving a quick review helps this podcast reach more people who feel alone in complicated family and faith journeys.

You can also follow along with Jon and Ashley on social media at @Leave_Then_Cleave, where we share additional insights, reels, and conversations throughout the week.

And we have a ton of resources available for you on our website... www.leavethencleave.com

We’re grateful you’re here.

And as always —

happy healing.

What does it actually mean when someone says a family “functions like a cult”?

This episode explores the psychological dynamics of control inside certain family systems — especially in religious or faith-centered homes.

We’re not talking about compounds.

We’re talking about:

• Unquestioned authority
• Boundaries labeled as betrayal
• Loyalty demanded without accountability
• Silence used as punishment
• Image protected at the expense of truth

For many people of faith, this creates a deep internal conflict:

How do you honor your parents without participating in dysfunction?

We unpack the difference between honor and compliance, differentiation and rebellion, truth and division.

If you’ve felt like your growth disrupted your family system — this conversation will help you understand why.

Control-based systems protect power.

Healthy systems protect people.

And breaking generational patterns does not mean breaking your faith.

If this conversation brought clarity, consider following the show and leaving a rating — it helps more people navigating family control and spiritual abuse find this message.

And if you’d like to go deeper into healthy differentiation from a faith perspective, the Weekly Note and related resources are linked below.

Weekly Note

Leave what’s unhealthy. Cleave to what’s true.