The final episode of ClemFM series 2 is loving tribute to my avuncular mentor and literal man of my dreams/nightmares, Uncle Manglow.

Music by Unk M.D.

Photograph by Stephanie Hicks

If you love pranks, are chill, can take a joke and not flip out, and are a good sport, this week's ClemFM serves you up a veritable feast on which to gorge. Check out my blog if you want the recipe!

Disclaimer: No one (that I am personally acquainted with) got hurt during the making of this prank.

Music by Unk M.D.

Photograph by Stephanie Hicks

Sound effects used within obtained from www.zapsplat.com

Jared Leto may not be an actor you have any interest in. Well, he doesn't have any interest in you either. 'But why?' you ask. 'I'm intelligent, witty, fun to be around. Why doesn't Jared Leto want to spend time with me and become really close friends?'

Any one of the 50 things listed in this episode of ClemFM may give you a clue as to why Jared Leto can't stand being around you, and just might even hate your guts. Trust me, it's not you, it's him.

Music by Unk M.D.

Photography by Stephanie Hicks

Should we be treating those we might use as human shields to protect ourselves in dangerous situations in a more humane and less shieldy way? Listen to this podcast and it might influence your decision in future to use a person as though they were a slab of organ-filled plexiglass. No promises, though.

Music by Unk M.D.

Photography by Stephanie Hicks

Baby John 'Burgo' Burgess is a gameshow god. Here's a random assortment of completely fabricated facts about him.

Disclaimer: In no way is this podcast related to or about the real gameshow host John Burgess. This is about an entirely different, made-up guy.

This week's offering is less than fresh. I am a man wrongfully accused of being the vilest of things: a rotten egg! Will I clear my name and get justice in the form of vengeance through gross negligence? All I can say is, as I type this I am wearing a very, very self-satisfied smirk.

Music by Unk M.D.

Photography by Stephanie Hicks

Sound effects used within obtained from www.zapsplat.com

Not much is known about mythical action hero Chuck Norris. How often does he take a shit? How pungent is his body odour? Listen to this episode and you'll be a scholar and expert on the man who got his arse kicked by Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon.

Music by Unk M.D.

Photograph by Stephanie Hicks

Welcome to the second series of ClemFM. In this episode, I prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm smarter than that cephalopod poser, the octopus.

Music by Unk M.D.

Photography by Stephanie Hicks

ClemFM is a radio segment (not affiliated with any broadcasting station) that consists of essays, letters and radio plays, written by a man lacking in those all-important ingredients that help us connect with the world: self-awareness, intelligence and pathos.

Outro song 'Ghost Simple' by Lehmann B. Smith, used with permission by the creator. All Intro music by Unk M.D.

Sound effects used within obtained from www.zapsplat.com

ClemFM is a radio segment (not affiliated with any broadcasting station) that consists of essays, letters and radio plays, written by a man lacking in those all-important ingredients that help us connect with the world: self-awareness, intelligence and pathos.

Outro song 'Ghost Simple' by Lehmann B. Smith, used with permission by the creator. All Intro music by Unk M.D.

Sound effects used within obtained from www.zapsplat.com