How was your Memorial Day? Hopefully you and your wives did NOT fall off a cliff. One wife did, Cliff Wife, and we'll be telling you her story on today's episode. Other wives we'll be discussing today? Royal Wife (Meghan Markle's latest Lifetime movie—that she's not actually in), Moby's Not-Wifes Natalie Portman and Lizzy Grant (aka Lana Del Rey) who—let's be clear—both did not even date him, Helena Bonham Carter's new Wife aka yung beau Rye Dag Holmboe *spellcheck goes wild* and Australian-Bachelor-Wife, Heather Maltman (who is surely about to be huge in China.) Plus, this week's "What's Rita Up To?" involves a MILLION DOLLAR JEWEL FLUB. Yes, that's our Who? Wife aka Rita Ora.

Call 619.WHO.THEM and we might play your call on an upcoming episode! Want more stuff? Go join our Patreon for bonus content—like a weekly newsletter and exclusive bonus episodes.