Coaching Through Stories

As the curtain falls on our fifth season, we're shaking things up with a Q&A episode. In this episode, Dr. Eric Bean and Certified Mental Performance Consultant, Siana Sylvester will answer questions from listeners. Together they share their valuable insights on executive coaching, stress, flow, and silence. So, join us as we delve into these topics and persist on our path toward achieving high performance.

Key Takeaways:

1. We need truth-tellers in our lives.

2. Stress management is a team sport. Don't be afraid to reach out for help.

3. Silence doesn't always have to be bad.

Highlights:

• [04:10] When should you consider getting a coach?
• [06:16] A mentor vs. a coach
• [09:48] The Coaching Industry: Navigating through the Wild West
• [17:48] Knowing the difference between counseling and coaching
• [21:41] What to expect in coaching and measuring its effectiveness
• [34:05] Coping with stress and deadlines
• [44:45] Remote work: Getting into deep work and connecting with your company
• [01:01:45] Understanding the value of silence

References:

• Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport

For More of Dr. Eric:

• Website: www.higherechelon.com

• E-mail: [email protected]

• LinkedIn: Eric Bean, Ph.D.

• Instagram: @ericbeanphd

For More from Siana Sylvester:

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sianasylvester/

We tend to look at change from a linear rather than an exponential perspective. This point of view often leads to the feeling of anxiety and being overwhelmed by the change around us. This episode features Ross Thornley, the CEO and co-founder of AQai, a community of adaptability coaches aiming to transform how people and organizations adapt to change. Moreover, Ross is an author and keynote speaker on adaptability and the future of work.

In this insightful episode, Ross helps us comprehend how fast change is happening and emphasizes the concept of viewing change exponentially. He also delves into AQai's vision and assessment, the process of unlearning, and how organizations become adaptable. So, join us as we look at change from a new standpoint and prepare ourselves to adapt to the changes brought about by this new year.

Key Takeaways:

1. Most people overestimate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in ten years.

2. We can completely be at peace or be overwhelmed. It is the choice of which one you want to be in the driving seat.

3. Any collapse is a failure to adapt.

Highlights:

• [04:10] AQai and its vision
• [05:53] The threat of shifting roles and navigating through it
• [12:37] Understanding the rate of change
• [20:43] Looking at change exponentially
• [24:13] What led Ross to innovation and adaptability
• [30:20] AQai and the concept of adaptability
• [39:08] Ways to be more adaptable
• [46:50] Dealing with the challenges of unlearning and building tolerance
• [52:11] Adaptability in organizations
• [01:03:30] Building the adaptability quotient
• [01:11:03] The concept of unique ability

References:

• Adapting to Turbulence: AQ Insights from the OpenAI Leadership Shift by Ross Thornley

• Decoding AQ - Your Greatest Super Power by Ross Thornley

For More of Ross:

• Website: aqai.io

• LinkedIn: Ross Thornley, MABP

In this episode, discover how high-achievers explore self-compassion with Dr. Shannon Baird. The conversation explores finding balance between ambition and self-care, offering practical tips for cultivating a compassionate mindset amid ambitious pursuits.

Dr. Baird emphasizes acknowledging personal limits while striving for success, providing valuable lessons for those seeking the perfect blend of achievement and self-compassion.

Dr. Baird earned her Ph. D. at the University of Iowa in Sport Psychology after earning a masters and bachelors in Kinesiology. Dr. Baird has over 20 years of applied experiences; more than a decade of which has focused entirely on the Military. In addition to her applied experiences, Dr. Baird is an invited lecturer, keynote presenter, and published author. She currently lives in Washington State with her wife and dog where she actively pursues her dream of running the Big Foot 200.

Those of you who know Dr. Baird, will soon see that this episode is a true and accurate, albeit PG, expression of Shannon. Those of you who don't know her might be uncomfortable with how open and transparent she is. In our episode we go deep in exploring the origins of her struggles with self-compassion, how some early experiences ingrained values that on the surface are admirable but when taken to the extreme landed her in the hospital… and not just once, and how self-compassion is not only a tool for her but an important tool for the elite warfighters she works with. Take a deep breath. Let go. And enjoy the authenticity of Dr. Shannon Baird.

Key Takeaways:

1. Stories are the foundation of our self-identities.

2. Understanding the boundaries of sacrifice.

3. Finding a way to not let the "bully" drive the bus.

4. How do we embody self-worth, and how do we get there?

5. Building your conscious awareness.

6. The importance of making data-informed decisions not data-determined decisions

Highlights:

• [5:04] Getting to know Dr. Shannon Baird
• [7:03] Forging relationships that are surrounded by trust
• [16:56] Sacrifice can be glorified in so many ways.
• [24:21] What is it like to live on the edge?
• [40:10] Dr. Shannon's philosophy on performance, excellence, and the education of psychological skills
• [46:47] Relying on implementations and intentions
• [53:07] How does Dr. Shannon help high-performers build a more robust mental framework through her frameworks?
• [58:04] The ability to understand your internal environment

Resources:

• Dr. Shannon Baird LinkedIn

In this Coaching Through Stories episode, Dr. Eric Bean delves into a profound exploration of Tragic Optimism, challenging the idea that life's tragedies and optimism are mutually exclusive. Through thoughtful reflection, he reveals the ability to simultaneously acknowledge and embrace both elements. Dr. Bean shares insights on navigating the delicate equilibrium between despair and hope in our experiences. Additionally, he explores concepts such as cognitive defusion, tragic optimism, and the pursuit of self-improvement.

Join us for this insightful conversation as we navigate the nuanced terrain of embracing both tragedy and optimism in our life's journey.

Key Takeaways:

1. Creating space for two things can be true at once reduces anxiety

2. When we foster self-acceptance we do not rely on societal expectations and validation from others

3. Explore some examples of two things can be true, examine how embracing them can positively influence our life as individuals, team members, and leaders.

Highlights:

• [1:40] The concept of cognitive defusion
• [4:23] Examples of how two things can be true
• [6:13] Be mindful of the words used, "but."
• [8:16] As a leader, you must set high standards for yourself and your team members.
• [8:53] Understanding our team members' strengths and weaknesses
• [18:09] Cultivating a purpose can inspire us to pursue something meaningful and impactful.
• [19:53] What is tragic optimism?

Resources:

• Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy

• ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris

• Master of Change by Brad Stulberg

As humans, it is our nature to dwell on our deficiencies. We focus on what we are missing and our shortfalls rather than appreciate the positive reality we are in. This behavior is what leads us to the sign that says Welcome to Sucksville. Today, we are with Dr. Brehtt McCabe, the Sports and Performance Psychologist for the University of Alabama Athletic Department and a trusted resource for amateur, collegiate, and professional golfers. Drawing on his experience as a champion athlete and his clinical training as a psychologist, he guides competitors in overcoming persistent challenges and crafting winning strategies in their chosen fields.

Today, he sits with us and shares his insights on breaking free from Sucksville. Dr. McCabe discusses the nature of people to crave competition and look for validation due to pressure. He also talks about success and believing in ourselves and stresses the value of acceptance. This episode is brimming with insights drawn from Dr. Brehtt's extensive coaching experience. Come along with us, and let's delve into yet another insightful episode.

Key Takeaways:

1. Use experience as a learning laboratory and not a validation.

2. Competition is a window and not a mirror. It is a window to look at who you are, not a reflection of what you are missing.

3. Support your team after they fail and coach them hard after they win.

4. Flow with what shows up rather than reaching for what is not there.

Highlights:

• [03:27] Dr. Brehtt's work background

• [09:10] What shifted Dr. Brehtt's view on performance

• [21:05] Believing in yourself vs. seeking validation

• [27:15] Dr. Brehtt's success formula

• [29:58] Detaching from the need for validation

• [36:03] Being intrinsically motivated in the world of sports

• [38:28] Getting stuck in Suckville

• [42:38] Expectations: Living in a fantasy

• [45:45] Opening up about the yips and other challenges

• [54:06] How to kick anxiety's ass

• [01:00:39] About doubting yourself and seeking approval

• [01:06:30] Going with the flow and savoring the moments

• [01:11:06] Success in Dr. Brehtt's viewpoint

References:

• Why Buddhism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment by Robert Wright

• Break Free From Suckville: How a Simple Mental Change Will Spark Your Performance by Dr. Brehtt McCabe

• Kick Anxiety's Ass: Take Control of the Uncontrollable Force in Your Life by Dr. Brehtt McCabe

How do you deal when someone approaches you with a problem? Do you tend to jump straight into a solution? In this eye-opening episode, we are with licensed clinical and high-performance psychologist Dr. Jonathan Fader, and we delve into the importance of understanding the person to address their situation. Dr. Fader is the co-founder and director of Union Square Practice and SportStrata, a company dedicated to offering sports and performance coaching services across different fields. He is also a keynote speaker, media personality, and author of Life As Sport, a book on the psychology of peak performance.

He dedicates himself to assisting diverse audiences in understanding how to implement the principles of performance psychology in their personal lives and professional pursuits. In today's episode, he emphasizes the importance of demonstrating empathy and understanding in counseling. He also delves into the power of motivational interviewing, reflective listening, and modeling to help others with their problems.

Key Takeaways:

1. People have to know you care before they care what you know.

2. If people feel good about who they are, they perform better.

3. Ask yourself, "Is what you are saying right now for yourself or the person listening?"

4. What we bring into relationships is more within our control than that of others.

Highlights:

• [03:37] What helps people find their best self
• [06:49] The art of finding the answers within
• [08:48] Looking into Dr. Fader's multifaceted work
• [10:50] What changed Dr. Fader's perception of counseling
• [16:00] Dealing with the pressure to perform
• [18:32] Finding the balance between caring and not caring
• [22:57] Dr. Fader's origin story
• [29:16] Core principles of uncovering one's best self
• [31:46] Dealing with the challenge of pretending not to know
• [34:47] Learning the process of motivational interviewing
• [38:28] Being patient through the process
• [41:38] Finding calm under pressure
• [49:05] Approaching people who struggle with empathy
• [54:07] The importance of self-awareness and looking inward
• [58:26] Society's significant shift into finding meaning and purpose
• [01:03:36] Living horizontally vs. vertically
• [01:06:01] Finding gratitude in life

References:

• Life as Sport: What Top Athletes Can Teach You about How to Win in Life by Jonathan Fader

How should we value achievement? Is it worth prioritizing to the extent that we compromise our wholeness? This insightful episode features one of Evolution's senior partners, Erin Rocchio, as we find the path to sustainable high performance while living with meaning and fulfillment. Aside from being a coach, Erin is also the author of Wholeness at Work: Free Yourself From Burnout for Good. She has worked with C-level executives and top companies, helping them cultivate teams that perform at a consistently high level.

In this episode, Erin shares her experience of being an achiever, experiencing the burnout cycle herself, and how this equipped her to support her clients. She also delves into looking at burnout from different perspectives in the workplace and emphasizes the pivotal role of leaders in the process. Join us as we seek the path toward success and inner well-being.

Key Takeaways:

1. Check-in with yourself every day. Recognize the gaps and dare to address them.

2. In order to maintain both performance and well-being, it's crucial to consider the issue from the viewpoints of the individual, the community, and the overall structure.

3. Pause and appreciate how much meaning is all around us.

4. How you feel is equal if not more important than what you do.

Highlights:

• [04:40] How Erin found her way to her passion

• [09:27] Assessing your integrity

• [13:24] Looking at the problem holistically

• [16:16] How Erin learned the value of self-compliance

• [23:47] The habit of ignoring the other parts of yourself

• [28:47] Slowing down and being intentional with your time

• [37:06] Erin's process of helping people find meaning

• [42:06] How to Overcome Burnout and Build Resilience

• [46:15] Aiming for high performance through sustainable habits

• [52:02] Building sustainable work cultures and averting burnout

• [55:23] Leaders embodying the proper values and how they affect the workplace

• [59:12] Social media and how it can contribute to burnout

• [01:03:50] Pieces of advice on the pursuit of wholeness at work

For more of Erin:

• Evolution.team

• ourwholenessatwork.com

• Burnout Assessment – Wholeness at Work

Are you someone who is concerned about how others perceive you? Do you often prioritize others' needs over yours? Do you feel bad whenever you experience conflicts? In this solo episode, Dr. Eric delves into the behavior called people-pleasing. He discusses the signs of said behavior and how it can be unhealthy and counter-productive. If you are a people-pleaser, these might sound familiar to you. He also highlights the false beliefs that push individuals into people-pleasing behaviors. Moreover, he advises on how to mitigate this behavior and emphasizes the importance of gaining a clear understanding of our values.

If you tend to be driven by a need to be liked by others, this episode is for you. Tune in as we dig deep to understand the origins of this behavior.

Key Takeaways:

1. Conflict can be good. It can generate new ideas and solve problems.

2. We cannot control what others think. We can only control how we act.

3. Getting clarity of your values will help you control your actions.

4. Seek out discomfort. Be comfortable being uncomfortable.

Highlights:

• [01:16] What is people-pleasing?
• [04:37] Distinguishing people-pleasing from other behaviors
• [06:48] Signs that you are a people pleaser
• [11:15] Beliefs driving a people-pleasing behavior
• [15:47] Addressing and getting to the root of the behavior

Are you someone who is concerned about how others perceive you? Do you often prioritize others' needs over yours? Do you feel bad whenever you experience conflicts? In this solo episode, Dr. Eric delves into the behavior called people-pleasing. He discusses the signs of said behavior and how it can be unhealthy and counter-productive. If you are a people-pleaser, these might sound familiar to you. He also highlights the false beliefs that push individuals into people-pleasing behaviors. Moreover, he advises on how to mitigate this behavior and emphasizes the importance of gaining a clear understanding of our values.

If you tend to be driven by a need to be liked by others, this episode is for you. Tune in as we dig deep to understand the origins of this behavior.

Key Takeaways:

1. Conflict can be good. It can generate new ideas and solve problems.
2. We cannot control what others think. We can only control how we act.
3. Getting clarity of your values will help you control your actions.
4. Seek out discomfort. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. 

Highlights:

• [01:16] What is people-pleasing?
• [04:37] Distinguishing people-pleasing from other behaviors
• [06:48] Signs that you are a people pleaser
• [11:15] Beliefs driving a people-pleasing behavior
• [15:47] Addressing and getting to the root of the behavior 

In today's episode, let us take a look at sports psychology from a different perspective and how we can integrate this into our daily lives. Today's guest is Peter Haberl, a licensed psychologist working with elite athletes as a sports psychologist and a mental performance consultant. He was employed by the United States Olympic and Paralympic Committee since 1998, giving him a wealth of experience in sports psychology. He continues to work with U.S. National Teams and athletes, focusing on mindfulness and ACT-based interventions.

In this insightful episode, Peter shares how his experience working with athletes helped him realize the need for a significant shift in his approach to working with athletes. We discuss the fleeting and uncontrollable nature of feelings. Instead of relying on our feelings, it is possible to utilize our values to direct our behavior regardless of how we feel and to develop skills for responding productively to unpleasant emotions no matter how we feel. Throughout, Peter emphasizes the importance of staying connected to the present moment. So let's focus on the moment and take advantage of this opportunity as we learn from Peter Haberl.

Key Takeaways:

1. Success can be deceiving. Bear in mind the importance of continuous improvement.
2. Accept what shows up emotionally and redirect your attention to action that will lead you to successful outcomes. You can choose what you do irrespective of your feelings.
3. Values must serve as a guide to behavior.
4. Attention is the currency of performance.
5. It is essential to build curiosity and stay connected to the present moment.

Highlights:

• [04:24] Peter's passion and how it excites him
• [06:39] What inspired Peter to switch his approach to sports psychology
• [09:44] How success can be deceiving
• [10:37] Misperceptions of feelings
• [12:30] Function Over Form: Dispelling the myth of emotions in athletics
• [24:55] Values as a guide to behavior
• [31:29] How to be aware and navigate through emotional traps [34:33] Acceptance and being open with unpleasant emotions
• [39:32] Psychological flexibility and how you can build it
• [41:03] Building the ability to contact the present moment
• [43:45] Striking the balance between mindfulness and experiential avoidance
• [46:50] Training the mind to slow down
• [49:35] Building a state of curiosity with the present moment
• [51:35] The thin line between reacting and responding
• [53:10] Guiding teams towards cohesion through social mindfulness
• [57:38] Most impactful piece of advice for Peter

Contact Peter Haberl: Peter Haberl, Ed. D. | LinkedIn