Coaching Through Stories

Have you ever held yourself back from airing out a grievance to a team member or leader? Have you ever kept yourself from giving something your 100%, or reprimanded yourself too hard for a simple mistake?

The fear of making mistakes is one of the main problems that holds us back from achieving our full potential. It makes us more passive, lose confidence, or become perfectionists to the point of being too hard on ourselves.

Our guest today provides concrete tools to help us be more self-aware of having this fear and how to navigate through it to authenticity and optimization.

In this episode, you will hear from Dr. Graig Chow, a Certified Mental Performance Consultant and the Director of Mental Performance & Leadership Development at Cal Athletics. His portfolio of expertise is nothing short of impressive, broadly focusing on the optimization of mindset, mental skills, performance, involvement, enjoyment, culture, team dynamics, and leadership in sport and other performance domains. At Cal Athletics, he provides comprehensive sport and performance psychology services to student-athletes, teams, and coaches. In his private practice, he works with professional athletes and C-level business professionals, by providing valuable mental consultation and coaching to optimize the individual's mindset into peak performance.

Key Points:

1. The fear of making mistakes keeps an individual from reaching their full potential.
2. Authenticity creates opportunities for development and performance optimization.
3. Tools that promote self-awareness, self-compassion, and acceptance mitigate the fear of failure and improve focus.

Episode Highlights

• [00:00] Introduction
• [02:43] Dr. Graig Chow and his background and work
• [07:39] How Dr. Graig Chow started in sports psychology
• [11:18] His sports psychology work being the blending of two passions
• [14:34] How cultivating team culture creates better teams
• [16:10] Switching from education and into the application of his studies
• [21:20] How supporting athletes drives and challenges Dr. Graig Chow
• [27:39] On having the core value of commitment and accepting challenges
• [30:47] On the fear of pushback affecting athlete identity and application of their personal skillset
• [33:22] Why self-handicapping as a coping mechanism for failure mitigates accurate feedback on athlete performance
• [39:20] On being a scientist-practitioner, and his research on maladaptive perfectionism
• [45:28] Better and more sustainable techniques for motivation and building mental game
• [49:46] Frameworks of self-awareness, acceptance, and refocus and how they help develop an individual's performance
• [56:21] On maintaining balance and focus on performance when it matters as found in professionals in both sport and business, and how forming routines help develop that focus.
• [1:02:43] Having intentions and how it sets a foundation for: (1) consistency and focus, and (2) performing to your identity
• [1:06:35] On developing a balance of not being too attached to results while remaining focused on achieving results without becoming lax
• [1:12:54] Dr. Graig Chow's chosen medium of staying up-to-date on data that directly impacts his evidence-based research
• [1:15:43] Dr. Graig Chow's one-book recommendation: Atomic Habits by James Clear

Resources Mentioned:

• Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

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Can you think of a time when you jump to conclusions and imagine all the worst-case scenarios even before they happened? Well, that, my friend, is part of making assumptions.

If you want to be an effective leader, you must learn how to stop making assumptions. Otherwise, you risk harming your credibility and workplace relationships. Issues come up when a leaders responds to a situation in the absence of sufficient knowledge – particularly when emotions are high. Similarly, expectations are typically fueled by an emotion and when that expectation is not met, we feel let down. When we set goals, we provide time to develop strategy and execution plans to achieve them instead of having unrealistic expectations that are thoughtlessly assessed in the moment.

In today's podcast, you'll learn how to address three meaningful topics to enhance your leadership. Dr. Eric Bean discusses (1) how to avoid treating assumptions as facts, (2) how to understand the difference between expectations and goals, and (3) how to remove or limit judgements.

The story of the Chinese farmer by Alan Watts serves as a reminder that we live in a complex world. And when we can withhold from making immediate judgments about our experiences, challenge our assumptions, manage expectations, and be open to reality, we can find greater inner peace and be more in the flow of life.

1. Get clarity that you're making an assumption and then challenge it by asking questions.
2. Embracing the practice of letting go of expectations.
3. Move past the rejection of reality to a place of acceptance.

• [0:15] Unraveling the dangers of assumption
• [1:15] The story of a Chinese Farmer
• [2:13] The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it's tough to tell if the consequences result to good or bad
• [2:40] The practice of removing judgments in one's life
• [3:31] The three elements that are core to Eric's coaching approach (1) Don't make assumptions, (2) Understand the difference between expectations and goals, (3) The three possible responses to what happens in life
• [3:49] The idea of making no assumptions
• [7:10] You have to recognize that you don't have to believe every thought that comes into your mind
• [8:18] Not treating our automatic assumptions as data or as truth
• [8:31] Understanding the difference between expectations and goals
• [10:21] Expectations should happen, but goals are the target
• [11:43] Three ways to respond to reality: Reject it, Accept it, or Appreciate it
• [12:31] Acceptance is simply acknowledging what happened

• The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
• The Happiness Hypothesis Book by Jonathan Haidt

Watching the winter Olympics this year, you may have noticed that there is a slim difference between an athlete taking goal and not making the podium at all. This year, the best of the best athletes performed on the world's stage despite the unique challenges of a politically charged environment and Covid-19 protocols. Consider the mental and emotional skills that are needed for athletes to manage significant distractions and the added stress perform, similar to the modern business environment, it's obvious that there is heightened stress and conflicting demands.

Today's guest, Jean François Ménard (JF) is widely recognized for his contributions to the field of performance psychology. At the age of 25 and fresh out of graduate school, he joined the world-famous entertainment company Cirque Du Soleil, where he coached circus artists to deal with pressure and perform at their best, on demand, up to 450 times a year. Five years later, he founded Kambio Performance and has since become one of the most sought-after mental performance specialists in the country. During the 2016, 2018, and 2020 Olympic Games, his clients stepped on the podium eleven times and received 5 gold, 2 silver, and 4 bronze medals. He is a bestselling author, a radio personality and professional speaker with over 750 keynote speeches delivered to organizations such as the FBI, PepsiCo, RedBull, SunLife Financial, and NASA. His private clients are proven winners: Olympic Gold Medalists, SuperBowl and X-Games champions, professional athletes, surgeons, pop stars, and corporate leaders.

In this Coaching Through Stories episode, JF shares why clowns were his favorite artists with Cirque Du Soleil, how visualization helped him with his work with a pediatric surgeon, why reinventing himself is a part of his philosophy, and how there's always a "no" attached to a "yes." Additionally, JF and Dr. Eric Bean discuss his new book, Train Your Brain Like an Olympian: Gold Medal Techniques to Unleash Your Potential at Work. Listeners leave this episode feeling energized by JF's colorful stories and real-life takeaways to implement.

Highlights

• [5:02] His current role and what he's passionate about?
• [8:16] What are the underlying principles of helping people change?
• [13:49] A quick overview of his life story
• [19:47] What is his experience in Cirque du Soleil where he helped somebody see through a new lens?
• [29:49] What drives and motivates him to do what he's been doing?
• [37:23] What's his philosophy on high performance for himself?
• [49:57] How did it come about for this company, and what are some of the benefits of having a deep-focused time block and eliminating distractions?

Resources Mentioned:

• Kambio Performance-http://www.kambioperformance.com
• Train (Your Brain) Like an Olympian: Gold Medal Techniques to Unleash Your Potential at Work

Profile Links:

• JF Menard's LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/in/jfmenardconsultant?originalSubdomain=ca

"Progress not perfection" is the best way to go. Making yourself indispensable and taking charge of who you are, what you do, and how you do it is one of the most proven paths in building trust from the people around you. You can go beyond the extra mile and develop your nature as a leader with these abilities. The best leaders come from those who have the drive, determination, and heart to compete and become the best version of themselves.

Today we will be sitting down with Joe Folkman, the co-founder and President of Zenger Folkman. Join us in this episode as we will have a conversation on how you can be a great leader by following the Zenger Folkman leadership competency model. Joe also shares how his research has shown that you don't have to be "perfect" to be extraordinary.

Highlights:

• [3:24] How we can be great leaders and have a tremendous impact on the people we lead, even if we have gaps.
• [5:22] Joe's role in his corporation and what does he do?
• [10:00] It's your strengths that really help you succeed.
• [25:16] You don't have to be perfect to be a good leader. Progress not perfection.
• [25:49] The role of competitiveness in leadership and how a leader can use these competencies on their own?
• [26:45] On how the best leaders are both empathetic and competitive.
• [27:50] Figuring out who your enemy is and who you are competing against?
• [34:46] Addressing your fatal flaws.
• [39:52] Asking people to do hard things is a great formula for you to be inspired.
• [46:40] Joe's take on leadership trends and development for the next five to ten years.
• [55:50] High level of trust is an important factor in leadership.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Extraordinary Leader Book by John H Zenger and Joseph Folkman- https://zengerfolkman.com/books/the-new-extraordinary-leader/
• The Trifecta of Trust- https://zengerfolkman.com/webinars/trifecta-of-trust/
• Zenger Folkman- https://zengerfolkman.com/

Profile Links

• Joe Folkman - https://zengerfolkman.com/joe-folkman/#:~:text=Measuring%20Leadership%20To%20Inspire%20Change,assessments%2C%20leadership%20and%20organizational%20development.

The journey of self-discovery takes a lifetime to unfold. Considering the adversities that are guaranteed along with it, how can we sharpen our axes with resilience? What does a mitigation strategy entail for us to get through and eventually overcome what we must go through?

Humanity has an innate potential to face life's most overwhelming moments, regardless of what aspect in life it is. One's ability to regain presence in times of anxiety and negative thought dictates the reaction we can muster towards the situation at hand. Developing this skill paves the mentality of resilience and healthy coping to any problem thrown at our way.

Join us in this episode to hear from Dr. Karen MacNeill about her journey from years of sports psychology and as an athlete herself. She imparts the life lessons of freeing oneself from a psychological prison and maintaining recovery strategies in the midst of challenges.

Highlights:

• [3:54] The importance of accepting challenging situations as Dr. MacNeill tells about her role and passion
• [5:23] On how how her passion came to be transitioning to to and fro between Sports psychology and her own career in playfield hockey
• [9:15] Starting the practice of mindfulness during events and prioritizing her emotional regulation in dealing with the athletes under her
• [11:46] Space between the space: having that buffer of mental clarity in deciding how you want to respond to a situation and developing a recovery strategy through mindfulness
• [15:14] On being in the Canadian Olympic Committee, a performance consultant and an advocate for resilience through talks
• [17:55] She quotes George Mumford in saying "failure is feedback" and explains how painful moments and hard-earned lessons shape your career
• [19:32] The three phases in breaking free from one's psychological prison and cites the counseling psychology lifeline exercise
• [24:03] On understanding how you think and the essence of resilience in the workplace
• [27:03] Preparing for the challenge before it even happens and building resilience through the three C's
• [31:14] She talks about core contributions and the process of stepping into the unknown
• [34:37] Her take on protecting resiliency despite the pandemic and the use of psychological hygiene tools
• [39:00] Dr. MacNeill emphasizes the skill of connecting to yourself
• [44:48] The demand for mental well-being coaching considering the people are the biggest asset in today's economy
• [48:16] Knowing oneself on a deeper level is the most crucial action to start on building resilience

Resources Mentioned:

Canadian Olympic Committee - https://olympic.ca/

Mindflow performance - https://www.mindflowperformance.com/karen-macneill

Brené Brown - https://brenebrown.com/

Profile Links

Karen MacNeil -

https://ca.linkedin.com/in/drkarenmacneill

One question that leaders ask themselves over and over again is, "Where am I?" Imagine that a black line could serve as your guide to answering this question? There are times in leadership where we live above or below this line.

In today's Coaching Through Stories episode with your host, Dr. Eric Bean, you'll learn the difference between leading above or below the line. Above the line leaders are: Open, Curious, and Committed to learning. Below the line leaders are: Closed, Defensive and Committed to being right. Additionally, the way that you listen can impact where you are as a leader. Leaders who are above the line understand the difference between self-focused listening, content-focused listening, and whole-person listening.

Leaders who interact with self-focused listening are listening for their own agenda; they are listening for what's important to them and not what's important to you. Leaders who interact with content focused listening have suspended their own agenda and are listening for what is being said but missing critical elements. Leaders who are practicing whole person listening are giving their full consciousness to the other person; they have suspended their own agenda and are listening to what is unsaid. We have all experienced times where we know when someone is listening to us with their whole self; when we feel like the most important person in the world to that listener, because for the moment you are. We all also know what it feels like when another person is only partially listening and when they're listening to you for their agenda.

The key to this topic is not that leaders won't go below the line, but instead knowing when we drift below the line and take action to come back above the line. Once leaders find themselves below the line, they must ask themselves: Am I willing to shift? This is a powerful question because sometimes leaders are not ready to shift above the line. Dr. Eric Bean discusses some approaches that leaders can take to get back above the line even when they're not quite ready.

1. Above the line leaders are: Open, Curious, and Committed to learning.
2. Below the line leaders are: Closed, Defensive and Committed to being right.
3. Leaders who practice whole person listening, give their full consciousness to the other person.

• [01:39] "The sound of the forest": how is it related to coaching and leadership
• [05:00] The three types of listening people engage in

It is important that we are our authentic selves and be seen as leaders in control. But, as a leader, how often do you think about how people perceive you? Also, do you contemplate how to change their perception of you?

We all lead differently. Your leadership style influences how you interact with people, how they perceive you, and ultimately how they respond to you. Becoming a good leader means being aware of your own "style" and developing others.

In this episode, join me and Dr. Suzanne J. Peterson as she talks about different leadership styles and shares her secrets on how leaders can recognize and flex their authentic style.

Highlights:

• [03:38] The foundations of understanding leadership style and how can one make a long-term lasting change in their stop
• [05:35] What leaders can do to make a shift if they are looking to make a change
• [06:52] How can a leader maintain their authenticity while being adaptable to the needs of their team
• [08:28] Dr. Suzanne's career and passion
• [19:30] How do we define leadership style and how has style informed by our personality
• [21:33] How do we add to our resources in areas where we're not as comfortable, confident and experienced
• [23:17] A deeper understanding of the status markers: Verbal vs. Non-verbal styles
• [26:11] How to choose your own style to make people perceive you differently
• [30:40] The argument around authenticity and blended leadership style
• [34:58] How can CEO's and seniors adopt and embrace new styles of leadership
• [37:37] Why do you need to be slightly more peer-like
• [40:14] Finding the right balance for women and minorities
• [45:31] What the study "Developing and Validating a Scale of Eudaimonic Workplace Wellbeing" is about
• [48:44] Dr. Suzanne's book recommendation

Resources Mentioned:

Understanding well-being at work: Development and validation of the eudaimonic workplace well-being scale https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0215957

Leading with the Heart: Coach K's Successful Strategies for Basketball, Business, and Life https://www.leadershipnow.com/leadershop/7678-0.html

Higher Echelon, Inc. https://www.higherechelon.com/

Values are important to any organization. Values motivate, inspire, and provide guidance for decision-making in the organization. Organizations that communicate their values to their members perform better than businesses that fail to do so.

Today's guest, Paul Barrett, is the managing partner and founder of a new healthcare-focused private equity firm at Argosy Healthcare Partners. He once worked in a private equity firm and eventually started his own. Interestingly, from years of working for these firms, Paul realized that many organizations and the private equity industry are not values-driven and overly focused on shareholder value without considering value to all stakeholders.

In this episode, Paul shares what made him step into the shoes of the leaders he has worked with for so many years to start something of his own. More importantly, we'll get to know his values as a leader and how it is important to have his values drive his approach to his work - something far more different from what he's had when working within a firm. This episode shows how important values are as a foundation in any organization.

Key Takeaways:

• What led Paul to build his firm
• How does he evaluate and develop leaders in an organization
• His experiences and how he developed good values from them
• His vision for his firm
• What are his core values and philosophies
• How does he see his role in evaluating culture and leaders
• What gets under his skin as a leader
• The importance of treating people better and valuing them
• How can private equity firms change their management processes
• How can organizations build a team with the right values and principles that align with them
• What culture should leaders cultivate in their organization

Resources:

HigherEchelon, Inc.

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a rut, with your learning? Whether it's about your career or a new topic, we're all trapped sometimes. You feel as though you've learned the best way to do something without ever considering there could be a better or faster way to achieve the same results. We become so biased! It's natural to be biased. We are creatures that must survive and oftentimes perfecting our current ways is where our attention should be, right?

But why are we biased? Largely because uncertainty stresses us out. We crave comfort. We crave the way it's always been done. And that's a recipe for disaster when it comes to learning anything new.

So what makes people more likely to adapt to change? How might the environment influence our ability to adapt? And how can we improve our ability to adapt?

In this episode, I want to share a story of Hansel Emmanuel, a young basketball player who, at a young age, experienced a fatal accident. But did this stop him from learning and pursuing his dream? No. He simply learned to adapt to the change in his life.

Highlights:

• [01:55] Hansel's fatal childhood accident and how he's able to adapt in this change
• [02:43] Pursuing his dream to be a basketball player despite physical disability
• [05:22] What exactly is mental flexibility
• [06:29] Recent research study on adaptation: monkeys vs. human
• [08:37] Why are we biased?
• [10:14] How to improve your mental flexibility and adaptability
• [10:45] The secret to mental toughness
• [13:16] The importance of mindfulness meditation

Resources Mentioned:

HigherEchelon, Inc.

In this episode, Dr. Eric Bean invites Sue Sommer, President and CEO of Cordant Health Solutions. Here, she shares how important it is to have someone that believes in you and what you can do in pursuing the things you want to do in life.

Though the cliche' statement goes like this: "You need to believe in yourself first so others will believe in you," Sue believes the other way. For her, the accomplishment is different if you have someone behind your back, cheering you on to take that leap of faith and challenge yourself.

Back in the old days, Sue worked at a hospital as a nurse and from there, she recognized the challenges in the healthcare system. Now, almost ten years later, Sue has still been leading one of the best companies in the world. This is despite the fact that the business started as a private equity backed company.

Her success is not pure luck. It is a mix of determination, hard work, patience, and the confidence to dominate as a female CEO.

Highlights

[4:19] Getting to know more Sue Sommer

[7:26] Sue's experience and the significant phone call

[12:28] Overcoming fears and recognizing your potential

[15:55] The importance of confidence

[17:29] Finding answers to one's own "why"

[18:11] The role of her nursing experience

[23:13] Why passion and teamwork matter?

[29:04] Challenges in the role

[34:44] Having "thick skin" and how it helped Sue

[54:55] The Bikram yoga

Resources Mentioned

Good to Great by Jim Collins

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Belle Curve Podcast is sponsored by HigherEchelon, Inc. and produced and co-hosted by HigherEchelon Director of Marketing & Communications Rachel Bryars.