Coffee for Communists

“Doctor” Cuttsy Wuttsy visits the studio to talk about his new martial arts technique inspired by the starfish. Originally having come to America to start a sandwich shop, Cuttsy now makes a meager living as a fitness specialist. He competes in Word or Not a Word, with the help from a very special caller, Harriet. Grolph recounts his transition from weatherman to radioman and his recovery from the superbug. Michelob is still wearing a towel — err, mantle — on his back, and with the help of Cuttsy, Ski has made made the studio the cleanest it’s ever been. This show is brought to you by Frank’s Peanut Fried Almonds.

Spiritual dance guru Genie von Deenie graces the airwaves with her cat-inspired dances. Michelobe has just returned from the Conclave of the Mind (where he met Genie) and plans a pilgrimage to a small town in Lithuania to visit a meteor sent by Grouche, an extraterrestrial life-force. Meanwhile, the studio has been announced a superfund site, which provided enough funding for Ski to finally get rid of the turtle, nutria, and alligator infestation caused by incredible amounts of NutraDebt in their diet. However, Grolph has already come down with a super bug carried by the nutria.

Sam Shortley has just arrived at the studio, suitcase in tow, along with his one-thousand page pictorial novella (which is strikingly similar to the Bible). The crew offers some advice before he sets out for the big city, where both opportunity and danger lurk. Michelobe has just gotten out of the hospital and is on prescription sandwiches from his nutrologist, Free, after learning the cadmium in Nutradebt is toxic. Meanwhile, the studio is being visited by men in hazmat suits, but Ski assures that it’s nothing to worry about.

A woman has mysteriously fallen out of a tree behind the studio. Through the haze of amnesia, she (#wakeup) recalls a bat mitzvah (for triplets) 27 years ago and reveals a series of clues including a short bald man, whole milk for dogs, a nightgown, big silk, big book, NutraDebt, and more. Meanwhile Ski has set up a real nice display of bathroom Peeps, Michelobe is passing out his past life woes through his bowels, and Rusty Mexico calls to weigh in on the nutria-beaver infestation on Floor 3. Though the studio can’t exactly help her, she just might be able to help the studio. Get ready to be confused -- follow the rabbits!

Sometimes history is best admired from afar, but sometimes you need to get up close and personal. The crew is joined by special guest Leonard Osteen, a local history enthusiast who has a deep affection for monuments and architecture. Meanwhile, stray dogs have invaded the alley behind the studio, Michelobe is subsisting solely on NutraDebt, and Ski is doing what he can to clean up behind Mr. Osteen’s very sweaty lifestyle.

All the employees of WXG studios have abandoned the station except for host Grolph Mnudenmeister and his two headstrong comrades, Ski Shanko and Michelobe Biggs. Margaret, the brains of the operation, is packing up the fax machine, internal documents, and massage table. With her goes the organization and music licensing of a once-thriving ideologically-driven radio station. The remaining members are joined by special guest Daisy Dams, who has been living with beaver for some time and has written a sizable volume on the subject.