Was it love… or was it something else?

After my last relationship ended, my social media feed became a crash course in everything I supposedly wasn'texperiencing: limerence, attachment, trauma bonding, nervous system dysregulation… apparently, I was just a walking psychological case study. 😂

But it actually made me stop and ask a much bigger question:

What is love—and what isn't?

In this episode of Coffee, Tea & Me, I’m unpacking the difference between love, attachment, limerence, chemistry, and trauma bonds. We’ll talk about why unhealthy relationships can feel so intense, how intermittent reinforcement can keep us chasing moments of connection, and why sometimes we confuse anxiety with chemistry and intensity with intimacy.

And maybe the hardest question of all:

Can you genuinely love someone and still recognize that the relationship isn't healthy for you?

I share some of what I learned from looking back at my own relationship and realizing that sometimes it isn't as simple as “it was love” or “it wasn't love.” Sometimes it's a complicated mix of love, attachment, hope, chemistry, and patterns we don't fully understand until we're out of the relationship.

And we'll end with a question that might be even more important than “Did they love me?”

“Was I loving myself while I was with them?”

Grab your coffee, tea, or whatever gets you through relationship TikTok… and let's talk about what love really is.

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Apparently, flight attendants all date pilots, have a boyfriend in every city, spend every layover partying... and are permanent members of the Mile High Club.

At least, that's what people seem to think.

In this episode of Coffee, Tea & Me, Sylvia shares the dating app message that stopped her in her tracks: "Sorry... I don't date flight attendants." That one conversation turned into a hilarious—and surprisingly meaningful—look at the stereotypes that come with the job.

From sprinting after hotel shuttles in heels to explaining why customer service isn't flirting, Sylvia separates fact from fiction and shares what it's really like to date someone whose office happens to be 35,000 feet in the air.

Because the biggest baggage people bring into dating usually isn't in their suitcase...

It's the assumptions they've packed from past relationships.

Fasten your seatbelt—this one's a fun ride.

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I studied International Relations in college.

Somewhere along the way... I may have confused that with international dating.

In this episode of Coffee, Tea and Me, I'm sharing stories from years of highly unscientific—but surprisingly educational—international field research.

We'll talk about dating across cultures, navigating different expectations, family dynamics, stereotypes, and why sometimes the hardest thing to translate in a relationship isn't the language...

It's the expectations.

You'll also hear what dating an Argentinian, a Dutchman, and an American taught me about love, compatibility, and why "different" doesn't automatically mean "wrong."

So whether you're dating someone from another culture, have ever been called "exotic," or you're just curious why love doesn't come with subtitles...

Grab your coffee... or your tea...

Class is officially in session.

[email protected]

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Is it me?
Am I the drama?

…or is there actually a reason everything feels this intense?

In this episode of Coffee, Tea and Me, I’m talking about getting diagnosed with ADHD later in life—and how it explained way more than I expected… especially when it comes to my emotions and relationships.

From feeling like I was "too much" growing up, to masking, overthinking, and constantly trying to keep up with my own brain—we’re getting into what ADHD can actually look like (especially in women), and why it often gets missed.

We’ll also talk about dating with ADHD (aka getting emotionally invested in 30 minutes), why small things can feel really big, and something called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria —where a tone shift or a late text can suddenly feel like a whole situation.

So no… it’s not just you.
But also… maybe it’s a little your brain.

If you’ve ever overthought, over-felt, or asked yourself, “why am I like this?”—this one’s for you.

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Ever known better… and still stayed anyway?

In Part 3 of this series on Coffee, Tea and Me, I’m sharing what it actually looks like when all that awareness you’ve built gets tested in real life.

Because understanding your patterns is one thing…
but being in it—when your feelings are involved, when it feels real—that’s different.

This episode is more personal.

I’m talking about a relationship that pulled me right back into old patterns—overthinking, chasing, holding on to potential—and how hard it was to walk away, even when I knew I wasn’t getting what I needed.

We get into the anxious-avoidant dynamic, emotional unavailability, and that push-pull cycle that can feel intense, confusing… and honestly, kind of addictive.

And we talk about what it took for me to finally be honest with myself—not just about him, but about my own patterns—and start learning how to detach without losing myself in the process.

If you’ve ever known something wasn’t right… but couldn’t quite let it go, this one’s for you.

[email protected]

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Ever realized your patterns… but still found yourself doing the same thing anyway?

In Part 2 of this series on Coffee, Tea and Me, we’re getting into what actually matters—healing. Because awareness is one thing… but choosing differently in the moment? That’s the hard part.

We talk about what it looks like to break those patterns in real time—learning to pause instead of react, stop chasing clarity from someone who isn’t giving it, and choose self-respect over привычка. We also get into how to become more secure, what healthy love actually feels like, and why healing isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about finally staying true to yourself.

If you’ve ever known better… but still felt pulled back into the same dynamic, this one’s for you.

[email protected]

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And if you are interested in some more info about Attachment Theory, here are some suggestions. I am not affiliated with any of these authors or podcasters. Just wanted to share.

Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller: ⁠https://a.co/d/02367CFR⁠

Attachment Theory by Thais Gibson: ⁠https://a.co/d/07syYQlr⁠

The Mel Robbins Podcast with Thais Gibson: ⁠https://youtu.be/GIkspM20BeY?si=JWMGnpH4oJgsC_2c

Ever wondered why you can be totally chill in relationships… until you actually like someone?

In Part 1 of this series on Coffee, Tea and Me, we’re diving into attachment theory—what it is, how it’s shaped, and why it shows up hard in dating. We break down the four attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, fearful avoidant, and secure), what they look like in real life, and how different combinations can feel either grounding… or like emotional chaos.

We also talk about how to recognize your own patterns and simple ways to start understanding your attachment style—without overcomplicating it.

If you’ve ever overthought a text, pulled away when things got real, or found yourself in the same relationship dynamic on repeat… this one’s for you.

[email protected]

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588120827969

https://www.instagram.com/coffeeteaandmepodcast/

And if you are interested in some more info about Attachment Theory, here are some suggestions. I am not affiliated with any of these authors or podcasters. Just wanted to share.

Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller: https://a.co/d/02367CFR

Attachment Theory by Thais Gibson: https://a.co/d/07syYQlr

The Mel Robbins Podcast with Thais Gibson: https://youtu.be/GIkspM20BeY?si=JWMGnpH4oJgsC_2c

Modern dating: more options, more swiping… and somehow, more confusion.

In this episode, we break down the Paradox of Choice and how having endless options might actually be making dating harder — not easier.

If you’ve ever found yourself overthinking, second-guessing, or feeling exhausted by dating apps… this one’s for you.

Dating after divorce is a completely different experience. I’m older, wiser, and carrying the lessons from a love that didn’t last the way I once hoped it would. In this episode of Coffee, Tea and Me, I talk about what it’s really like to put myself back out there after divorce — the fear, the hope, the red flags I see more clearly now, and the quiet ways heartbreak changes you. Because sometimes the hardest lessons in love are the ones that teach me how to choose better the next time around.

Before we talk about love, heartbreak, dating, and everything in between, I thought I’d start by introducing myself. In this episode of Coffee, Tea and Me, I’m sharing my story — the places I’ve lived, the life I’ve built, and the experiences that have shaped the way I see relationships today. Because every story begins somewhere, and this one begins here.