Come As You Are

The Happiness Lab’s Dr. Laurie Santos brings together other Pushkin hosts to mark the International Day of Happiness. Revisionist History’s Malcolm Gladwell talks about the benefits of the misery of running in a Canadian winter. Dr. Maya Shankar from A Slight Change of Plans talks about quieting her mental chatter. And Cautionary Tales host Tim Harford surprises everyone with the happiness lessons to be learned from a colonoscopy.

Hear more of The Happiness Lab HERE.

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Introducing The Variable Man with Gary Goldman and Angus Fletcher | Development Hell from Revisionist History.

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DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to [email protected].

Science writer Florence Williams felt blindsided when her twenty-five-year marriage unexpectedly fell apart. Trained as a journalist, Florence set out on an expedition to understand the science of heartbreak and game her way back to health. Enjoy this special excerpt from Florence's audiobook, "Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey", where you'll hear her talk about sex and dating amidst divorce. And if you’re interested in hearing more of her story, download the complete audiobook at pushkin.fm/heartbreak. 

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Introducing Heart's Nancy Wilson from Broken Record with Rick Rubin, Malcolm Gladwell, Bruce Headlam and Justin Richmond.

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Guitarist and songwriter Nancy Wilson is one half of the rock band Heart, along with her older sister Ann Wilson. Nancy and Ann have been the face of the band since the mid-70s. Heart’s first album, Dreamboat Annie, was released in 1976 right as the band was making traction opening for big acts like Rod Stewart and The Bee Gees. Soon their songs, like “Magic Man” and “Crazy On You,” started to take off in the States, and Heart quickly became a headlining act.

Nearly 50 years since their debut album, Heart has experienced career highs—like a string of chart-topping hits and an induction into the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame—as well as their fair share of personal and professional adversity. Today Ann and Nancy remain steadfast in continuing Heart’s legacy. This month they embarked on a world tour—their first in five years.

To celebrate Ann and Nancy Wilson’s massive contribution to rock n roll history, we will feature conversations with both sisters over the next two weeks. Today we’ll hear Leah Rose talk to Nancy about how the popular drugs of the ‘70s and ‘80s influenced Heart’s sound. She also describes how being accepted by the musicians of Seattle’s grunge scene helped her overcome Heart’s fraught experience recording power ballads in the ‘80s. And she describes the lo-fi setup she used to score the soundtracks of her ex-husband Cameron Crowe’s hit movies: Almost Famous, Vanilla Sky, and Jerry McGuire.

You can hear a playlist of some of our favorite Heart songs HERE.

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DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to [email protected].

Introducing Picasso’s Last Words (Drink to Me) from McCartney: A Life in Lyrics.

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DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to [email protected].

A listener in his eighties wants to know if there’s an expiration date on his sex life, and how to reconnect in the bedroom with his wife. Luckily, Emily is writing a new book about sex in long-term relationships. She delves deep into what the research reveals about couples who sustain a strong sexual connection over many years. Plus, she shares practical, science-backed sex advice on aging and navigating your changing body.

If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to [email protected]. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.

Books mentioned by Emily: 

“Magnificent Sex” by Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz 

“Black Girls Guide to Surviving Menopause” by Omisade Burney-Scott

“What Fresh Hell Is This?” by Heather Corinna

“Why Good Sex Matters” by Nan Wise

”Couples Sexuality After 60” by Barry and Emily M

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This week, Emily answers a question from her producer, Mo, about consent. Mo and her girlfriend are considering a new sexual experience but they’re not both an “enthusiastic yes” on the idea. Mo’s girlfriend joins the conversation, and they delve into the idea of “enthusiastic maybe” in consent and how to handle all the comfortable, joyful, and consensual “maybes” that can come up in sex. A heads up before listening: in this conversation, we touch on difficult topics such as coercion and manipulation in sex. If this episode brings up some feelings for you, check out our resources below.

If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to [email protected]. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show. 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

“ACE: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Society” by Angela Chen 

Emily learned the language of “willing consent” from Suzanne Iasenza

For more on “human givers” and “human winners” read “Burnout” 

Emily’s Tiktok 

Emily’s definition of consent: “Everyone is glad to be there and free to leave with no unwanted consequences. Plus, there is no unwanted pain.”

CONSENT AND SURVIVOR RESOURCES: 

RAINN on consent and information for sexual assault survivors 

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Me Too Movement Resource Library 

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We switch things up this week as Mo challenges Emily to watch and rate a sex scene from the popular TV show “Ted Lasso." Emily rarely watches sex scenes since they often create the myths she works so hard to dispel, but she agrees to endure this torture for the good of our sex education. The scene prompts a deep conversation about vulnerability in sex, the absolute prison of masculinity, and what the dual control model can teach us about our porn habits.

If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to [email protected]. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Emily answers calls from listeners who are struggling with their orgasms, and debunks several myths about where orgasm happens in the body. She also explains how we can train our brains to change our experience of orgasm with some practice… and a little dismantling of the patriarchy.

If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to [email protected]. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For some people, sexual desire shows up totally spontaneously and out of the blue. But that’s not the case for this week’s listener, who wants to have sex with their girlfriend, but isn't feeling the same excitement as they did at beginning of the relationship. Emily introduces the science of responsive desire, which is not only totally normal and healthy, but also a more common way of experiencing desire.

You can take Petra Zebroff's Questionnaire for Turn-on Initiation Preferences here.

 If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to [email protected]. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.