Dateable()AF

S3E1: Come Closer… Not Like That - Why Intimacy Feels Riskier Than Loneliness


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Dateable AF Show Notes:

Why Intimacy Feels Riskier Than Loneliness** This season marks a shift. Dateable AF started as a dating podcast — but what we kept circling back to was how people relate. Dating is just one place where relationship patterns show up. Whether it’s a partner, a friend, a parent, or a coworker… the same emotional dynamics keep repeating.

So yes, the podcast is still called Dateable AF. No, we’re not changing the name. But dating was just the beginning. Season 3 is about what actually makes you “dateable” in life — your capacity for connection, emotional safety, honesty, boundaries, and repair.

And we’re starting with the thing almost everyone wants… and secretly fears: Intimacy. Most people say they want closeness. What they actually want is connection without exposure. In this episode, we explore why intimacy can feel more dangerous than being alone — and why so many people unconsciously choose loneliness, distance, or surface-level connection instead of real emotional closeness.

🧠 In This Episode We talk about: What intimacy really is (and what it isn’t) Why closeness triggers fear even when we crave it How old relationship patterns shape present-day avoidance Why loneliness can feel safer than being seen The subtle ways people keep relationships “safe” but not close How to build intimacy without forcing vulnerability You’ll hear why intimacy isn’t just about being close — it’s about letting someone matter, allowing emotional impact, and tolerating the uncertainty that comes with being known. Or, as we put it: “Intimacy isn’t closeness. It’s vulnerability with consequences.”

💬 Final Thought “If intimacy feels risky, it’s not because you’re incapable. It’s because you learned how to protect yourself well.” If this episode resonated, we invite you to reflect on one simple question: Where do you notice yourself pulling back just as things start to get close? Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. And remember: Be bold. Be kind. And for the love of self-respect, don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF. 🔥

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Dateable()AFBy Rachel Howell & Dr. Sarah Kyle

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