Come Talk with Aimee: Sex, Intimacy, and Conversations Worth Coming Back To

Shadeen Francis helps people get clear on what they actually want. In this episode, she shares how to reconnect with your desire, why play matters to our nervous system and capacity for pleasure, and what might be getting in the way of knowing what you want.

Shadeen Francis is a licensed psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, and cultural strategist who helps people understand their desires, deepen their relationships, and create more space for peace and pleasure. She’s also the president of AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), and she brings a deeply embodied approach to the question at the heart of this episode: What do you actually want?

This week on Come Talk with Aimee, we’re getting into the science and psychology of desire, why “I don’t know what I want” may be more complicated than it sounds, and how play can help expand our capacity for pleasure. Shadeen also walks us through her Desire Style Quiz, a tool for exploring the different ways we experience and express desire.

We talk about:

• What it means to say “desire is embodied wanting”

• Why your relationship to desire affects every connection you have

• Shadeen’s Desire Style Quiz and what it can reveal about how we experience desire in the current moment 

• The story arc of desire: who, what, where, when, why, and how

• How AI is impacting our relational skills, connection, and desire

• Why it can be especially difficult for moms and people of color to name their own desires

• How play connects to our nervous system and our capacity for pleasure

• The role of vulnerability in experiencing desire 

• Why orgasm is all about surrendering 

If you've ever felt disconnected from your desires, wondered why "fun" feels so hard, or wanted to bring more play into your life and your pleasure, this episode is your invitation to start exploring.

Take Shadeen’s Desire Style Quiz: https://shadeenfrancis.com/quiz

Connect with Shadeen Francis: 

https://shadeenfrancis.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/shadeenfrancis/ 

https://www.instagram.com/shadeenfrancis 

Get Aimee’s Free Workbook: Reclaim Your Pleasure Power: https://cometalkwithaimee.myflodesk.com/claimyourpleasurepod 

Join Aimee on Substack:

https://open.substack.com/pub/cometalkwithaimee 

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee 

April Davis of Haus of Vagina has spent years teaching people about vulva anatomy and body literacy. Today, she's here to tell you why your vagina is normal.

This week on Come Talk with Aimee, I'm sitting down with April Davis, a sex and menstrual cycle educator, founder of Haus of Vagina, and host of the Haus of Vagina Podcast. We get into what body literacy means and how the lack of it leads people to labiaplasty, vaginal bleaching, and a lifetime of shame about bodies that were never abnormal to begin with. We also dive into period sex, tampons, free bleeding, and why prioritizing pleasure is just as worthy as every diet you've ever tried.

We also dive into: 

• The difference between the vulva and the vagina

• Vulva myths about smell, tightness, and appearance

• Tampons vs. cups vs. discs vs. free bleeding

• Why prioritizing pleasure is a worthy pursuit

• How to talk to your kids about anatomy and protect them from grooming

• Why you should never fake an orgasm again

  
  

If you've ever worried about how your vulva looks, smells, or functions, this episode is your permission slip to let that go and learn what you were never taught.

Connect with April Davis

http://www.instagram.com/hausofvagina

Download your FREE Pleasure Power Workbook: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com/pleasurepowerguide

Elevate Your Intimacy with Lubify Lux lube. Use code AIMEE25 to get 25% https://ilubify.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorPNdYi9J1NN0TWDq4iO8PYcwNxzwi5nmACAU2aseFBxVms8RO6 

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cometalkwithaimee

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cometalkwithaimee

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee 

Let's settle this once and for all: does size actually matter? Find out in this episode! 

Welcome back to Come Talk with Aimee. This season, we're bringing you a Q&A series for our quickies, and for the first one, I went straight to Instagram to find out what you wanted to talk about. The top question? Does size matter?

I'm taking that question to Reddit, to the research, and into the exam room for a vital sign check. We're looking at the anatomy of both penises and vaginas, what the science actually says about length versus girth, and the 4 techniques that over 3,000 women that identified they use to make penetration more pleasurable! 

I also talk about: 

• The pleasurable techniques: angling, rocking, shallowing, and pairing

• Why the 2022 literature review found limited and inconsistent evidence on size

• The public health issue hiding underneath the size question

• Why technique, arousal, communication, and anatomy matter more than size

• The better question to ask: what are you doing with what you've got?

  
  

If you've ever wondered whether size really matters, or if you've been anxious about it, this episode is your vital sign check. Let's break down the myths and get to the truth.

Download your FREE Pleasure Power Workbook: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com/pleasurepowerguide

Elevate Your Intimacy with Lubify Lux lube. Use code AIMEE25 to get 25% https://ilubify.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorPNdYi9J1NN0TWDq4iO8PYcwNxzwi5nmACAU2aseFBxVms8RO6 

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cometalkwithaimee

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cometalkwithaimee

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee

Dr. Elliot Justin is on a mission to get men to finally listen to what their erections are telling them. If I were you, I’d better start listening.

This week on Come Talk with Aimee, I'm sitting down with Dr. Elliot Justin, CEO and founder of FirmTech, a sex tech company that's revolutionizing men's sexual and cardiovascular health. Dr. Justin is an emergency medicine physician who has spent years developing a wearable device that tracks nocturnal erections, providing a leading indicator of cardiovascular and sexual health.

We get into the science behind nocturnal erections, why they're a vital sign men need to pay attention to, and how the data from his device has already helped thousands of men avoid unnecessary procedures and optimize their performance. 

We talk about: 

• Why nocturnal erections are a leading indicator of cardiovascular health

• How the FirmTech device tracks duration, firmness, and frequency

• Why erectile dysfunction has been misdiagnosed for decades

• The difference between physical and psychogenic ED

• How performance anxiety can impact erection quality

• Why most men benefit from wearing a ring

• How the ring keeps you hard longer and deepens intimacy

  
  

If you've ever wondered what your morning wood is really telling you, or if you want to optimize your sexual performance and health, this episode is for you.

Connect with Dr. Elliot Justin 

https://www.instagram.com/myfirmtech/

https://www.youtube.com/@myfirmtech

https://www.tiktok.com/@myfirmtech

https://myfirmtech.com/

Download your FREE Pleasure Power Workbook: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com/pleasurepowerguide

Elevate Your Intimacy with Lubify Lux lube. Use code AIMEE25 to get 25% https://ilubify.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorPNdYi9J1NN0TWDq4iO8PYcwNxzwi5nmACAU2aseFBxVms8RO6 

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cometalkwithaimee

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cometalkwithaimee

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee

Kenneth Play has taught millions of people how to squirt. Today, he's sharing his best techniques with you.

Welcome to season two of Come Talk with Aimee. This season is all about play, pleasure, and reconnecting with your most alive self. And who better to kick things off than Kenneth Play, named by GQ as the world's greatest sex hacker. Kenneth is a sex educator, author of "Beyond Satisfied," and the creator of the world's most viewed squirting workshop with over 70 million views. He joins us to break down the science of squirting, the difference between ejaculate and the splash show, and why most people can learn to squirt with the right technique.

We talk about: 

• What squirting is and what it isn't

• How skill development leads to flow state

• How to create a "play lab" with your partner

• Communicating about squirting without awkwardness

• Why psychological arousal is the ultimate foreplay

• The emotional release and healing that can come with squirting

  
  

If you've ever been curious about squirting, wanted to improve your sexual skills, or wondered how to bring more play into the bedroom, this episode is your invitation to explore.

Connect with Kenneth Play 

https://kennethplay.com/

https://www.instagram.com/kenneth_play/

https://kennethplay.com/book/

Download your FREE Pleasure Power Workbook: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com/pleasurepowerguide

Elevate Your Intimacy with Lubify Lux lube. Use code AIMEE25 to get 25% https://ilubify.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorPNdYi9J1NN0TWDq4iO8PYcwNxzwi5nmACAU2aseFBxVms8RO6 

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cometalkwithaimee

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cometalkwithaimee

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee

What if daily orgasms were the productivity hack that you've been missing?

This week's episode is a podswap with Jennifer from the Open Bedroom Podcast, where she sits down with midlife reinvention coach Natty Frasca from The Feminine Rebellion to talk about the power of pleasure, daily orgasms included, and how high-functioning women can unhook from burnout and step into embodied, turned-on living. This conversation is the perfect way to kick off our countdown to season two, which is all about play, pleasure, and reconnecting with your most alive self. Jennifer and Natty dive into why pleasure isn't selfish, it's fuel, and how scheduling joy, practicing pleasure, and learning to receive can transform your life.

They also talk about: 

• Why pleasure is the productivity hack high-achieving women need

• Why receiving compliments is a form of self-worth practice

• Why pleasure compounds and becomes a non-negotiable habit

• Overcoming shame around masturbation and pleasure

• How embracing pleasure makes you more magnetic and creative

If you've ever felt like you're running on empty, performing instead of living, or wondering where your desire went, this episode is your permission slip to put pleasure back on the calendar.

Connect with The Open Bedroom Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/

https://open.spotify.com/show/1EmsUcd7s9n4HNNR0LDyG5

Connect with Natty Frasca

https://thefemininerebellion.com/podcast

Download your FREE Pleasure Power Workbook: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com/pleasurepowerguide

Elevate Your Intimacy with Lubify Lux lube. Use code AIMEE25 to get 25% https://ilubify.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorPNdYi9J1NN0TWDq4iO8PYcwNxzwi5nmACAU2aseFBxVms8RO6 

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cometalkwithaimee

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cometalkwithaimee

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee 

What if you could build deeper connection and intimacy just by asking the right questions and matching them with touch?

Welcome to another bonus episode of Come Talk with Aimee. This week, we're revisiting a playful and deeply connective conversation with Candace Johnson, creator of the Touchy Feely Game. We sit down and play a round of the game, which pairs emotionally vulnerable questions with physical touch based on how open and authentic your answers are. We dive into level two and level three questions, rate each other's answers, and match them to touch actions like kissing your shoulder, caressing your chin, or giving yourself a hug.

If you've ever wanted a tool to deepen connection with a partner, friend, or even yourself, this episode is your invitation to play.

Watch the full episode with Candace here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4biQeLDmicU03kl5b1JV46?si=fwRqZbi9SYiPS2VTdHlHfQ

Connect with Candace Johnson:

Website: ⁠touchyfeelygame.com⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/touchyfeelygame/⁠

TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@touchyfeelygame⁠

LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/company/touchyfeelygame/

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cometalkwithaimee

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee

What happens when you take away one sense and heighten all the others? Pure pleasure.

Welcome to another bonus episode of Come Talk with Aimee. This week, we're revisiting a playful conversation with Bre Green, a sensation play advocate who believes in tapping into your erotic self through touch, texture, and sensory exploration.

In this short but delicious episode, Bre and I put on blindfolds and play a game of Guess The Sensation. We take turns feeling different items, describing the textures and temperatures, and trying to figure out what they are. From floggers and massage oils, we explore how sensory deprivation can heighten every touch and make pleasure feel more intense.

Watch the full episode with Bre Green here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3g8dvU7Ip3252EEAaPuDlX?si=dA9KjlIVSjehxvREeyCxng

Connect with  Bre Greeen: 

Website: asesexualwellness.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bre.ase/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bre_ase

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cometalkwithaimee

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cometalkwithaimee

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee

Ever wondered what rope bondage, fire play, or flogging actually feel like? This bonus episode is your beginner-friendly introduction.

This week, we're revisiting a live demonstration with Sir Marvelous, a pleasure dom and kink educator who walks us through three accessible entry points into kink play. In this short but juicy episode, you'll get a front-row seat to a rope bondage demonstration, a fire play demo that's more warm than scary, and a flogging demo that proves impact play can feel more like a massage than punishment. Sir Marvelous also shares tips on blindfolds, warm oil, and why being greedy with pleasure is always encouraged.

Connect with Sir Marvelous

Website: www.SirMarvelous.com

Reviews: https://www.sirmarvelous.com/reviews

Ebooks: https://www.sirmarvelous.com/shop-with-sir/ebooks

Instagram: www.instagram.com/sirmarvelouskinks

LoyalFans: https://www.loyalfans.com/sirmarvelouskinks

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cometalkwithaimee

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cometalkwithaimee

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee

What if I told you that your pleasure isn't gone, it's just buried under years of stress and self-sacrifice?

This week on Come Talk with Aimee, I'm sitting down with Dr. Julie Merriman, a professor, nervous system expert, counselor, and author of "Are We Gonna Have Sex or What?" and the host of two podcasts, "The Compassion Fatigue Cure" and "Sexy After 50." Julie explains why desire goes underground, not away, and how to bring it back through softening, slowing down, and reconnecting with your body. She also shares practical tools for nervous system regulation, why self-pleasure is essential, and how to have those hard conversations with your partner.

We also talk about: 

• How emotional safety impacts arousal and connection

• Practical tools for nervous system regulation

• Why self-pleasure is essential for reclaiming desire

• How to have hard conversations with your partner

• The RADIANCE model and why novelty matters

  
  

If you've ever felt like your desire is gone for good, this episode is here to tell you it's not. She's just waiting to be awakened.

Connect with Julie Merriman

https://www.instagram.com/dr.juliemerriman

http://www.juliemerrimanphd.com

https://www.youtube.com/@drjuliemerriman

Use code WELCOME for 10% off your first order

https://motherlode-market.com/

Download your FREE Pleasure Power Workbook: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com/pleasurepowerguide

Elevate Your Intimacy with Lubify Lux lube. Use code AIMEE25 to get 25% https://ilubify.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorPNdYi9J1NN0TWDq4iO8PYcwNxzwi5nmACAU2aseFBxVms8RO6 

Stay Connected with Come Talk with Aimee:

Website: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cometalkwithaimee

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cometalkwithaimee

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cometalkwithaimee