There comes a moment in life where your intuition asks you to walk away from something beautiful… before you know what’s on the other side.

In this episode of Come Undone, Jess shares a deeply personal story of leaving the life she spent a decade building on the Gold Coast — her dream apartment, successful business, identity, routine, certainty — to move to a small regional town for love, and a feeling she couldn’t explain. 

Sometimes growth doesn’t look like “upgrading” your life... it looks like undoing it first.

This episode is for anyone standing at a crossroads:

• Feeling stagnated in a life that looks good but no longer feels alive 
• Wrestling with a decision that makes no logical sense 
• Struggling to trust themselves 
• Terrified of letting go of what they’ve already built 
• Craving a more authentic, meaningful life 

Most people stay stuck despite knowing what they want.

Do you want to be the kind of person who trusts themselves enough to leap before life forces them to?

If you ever felt the pull toward something — even when you couldn’t explain why — I think this conversation will hold your hand through it.

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What if the reason your relationships feel draining, isn’t other people — it’s the boundaries you’re not setting?

In this episode, Jess sits down with her housemate Kat for an uncomfortably honest conversation about boundaries — not as walls or ultimatums, but as the very thing that creates real connection.

If you’ve ever been the good friend,
the easy partner,
the one who doesn’t make things “hard”…

You’ll know how slowly that turns into resentment, burnout, passive-aggressiveness — and relationships that feel more distant than close.

This isn’t a “just say no” conversation.

This is about:

•  Why setting boundaries feels so hard 
•  How passive-aggressiveness is often a boundary you didn’t communicate 
•  Why boundaries aren’t about controlling others — but understanding yourself 
•  How to express your needs without pushing people away 
•  What to do when your boundaries clash with someone else’s 

And the reframe that changes it all:

Boundaries aren’t barriers.
They’re what make real connection possible.

This one might hit a nerve.

So let’s get uncomfy…
and Come Undone, together.

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What happens when the identity you were raised to maintain... no longer feels like you?

Jess shares her experience of growing up Mormon—and the tension between obedience and authenticity.

From religious conditioning to societal expectations, this is a conversation about the subtle ways we filter our decisions through fear of judgment, and what happens when you’ve been shaped—by faith, family, or culture—into a version of yourself that doesn’t quite fit

This is the core of Come Undone—unlearning what you were taught to accept as gospel, unbecoming who you were told to be, and reconnecting with who you really are.

Jess breaks down the two challenges of authenticity:

1.  Figuring out who you are—beneath conditioning, guilt, and expectation 
2.  Having the courage to embody it—even when it risks rejection or loss of belonging 

Inside this episode:

•  The difference between guilt as conscience vs. guilt as conditioning 
•  How religious and social systems shape your sense of self 
•  Why living “mistake-free” might mean you’re not fully living 
•  How fear of judgment keeps you disconnected from yourself 
• Why people who live authentically will either inspire—or deeply unsettle others 

This isn’t about whether Mormonism (or any belief system) is right or wrong.
 It’s about asking a deeper question:

Is this actually true for me?

Because authenticity isn’t something you find once—it’s something you choose, again and again.

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She's not too much. He’s not doing too little.

You’re just playing a game that no one ever taught you the rules of. 

In this weeks episode, we welcome back Megan Granville to dive even deeper into masculine / feminine dynamics—not as a concept, but as something that’s actively shaping your relationships, your communication, and the patterns you keep repeating. 

We break down the real reason relationships feel so hard—and the dynamic that changes everything once you see it.

Because the truth is… 

Most of us are trying to love each other without understanding how fundamentally different we are, and what we need to feel loved. 

In this conversation, we unpack:

• Why women feel constantly let down (and why men feel like they can never win) 
• Why expecting they "should’ve just known” is undermining connection 
• The real meaning of surrender (and how it’s been completely misunderstood)
• How control, nagging, and resentment are often rooted in fear—not personality 
• The hidden reason behind why you feel unseen and unappreciated

Most relationship conflict isn’t incompatibility—it’s misunderstanding. 

So let's create more understanding together!

You'll stop hurting your own feelings, taking things so personally, and start enjoying relationships that actually work.

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We’ve all heard the phrase “everything happens for a reason” — but when life hurts, that sentiment often feels hollow, distant, or even dismissive.

In this episode, we reframe the idea entirely!

Instead of asking what reason something might serve someday in the future, I invite you to consider this question in the moment: "What if everything happening right now is unfolding for the exact goal you’ve set for yourself?"

This conversation unpacks:

• How reframing “this happened to me” into “this is happening for me” restores personal power
• Why your worst fear happening may actually be your greatest liberation
• How good decisions can feel bad — and still be right
• The peace that comes from accepting pain when it’s aligned with your purpose

This is the reframe that reshaped how I navigate my life — and today I want to share it with you!

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In this episode of Come Undone, we sit with a question that subtly shapes so many of our relationships:

Why is it so  hard to ask for what we need?

Through the lens of biology, nervous system wiring, and masculine–feminine dynamics, this episode discusses why so many women (in particular) struggle to express their needs directly — not because they don’t know what they need, but because of two main reasons:

1. A subconscious program that signals it's unsafe to show too many needs
2. Having to ask feels like it “defeats the purpose!”

What begins as a simple reflection unfolds into an exploration of the invisible tests we place on the people we love, and exposes the distortion many of us carry: the belief that love is shown by anticipating needs rather than communication. 

This is not a conversation about gender roles. It’s about understanding. About recognising how deeply safety, survival, and people-pleasing are woven into the feminine experience — and how those patterns quietly fuel resentment, passive aggression, and emotional distance when needs go unspoken.

It's an invitation to soften into a new perspective, to stop hurting your own feelings, and to replace silent tests with honest requests. 

A powerful listen for anyone wanting to discover how to shift a relationship from a default lose–lose dynamic into something far more enjoyable — where both people get to win!

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Why is it that the people who give us the least are often the ones we want the most?

In this episode, we explore one of the most painful and confusing dynamics in modern dating: the pull toward emotionally unavailable partners — and why, even when we see that red flag early, we often turn crosseyed. 

I'll break down what emotional unavailability actually means, why we wind up in situationships, and unpack the critical difference between connection and commitment, attraction and attachment.

At the core of it all is this truth: our pursuit of unavailable people is rarely about them. It’s about our need to matter, to be chosen, and to prove our worth through someone else’s change of heart.

This is an invitation to look honestly at:

• Why we chase people who can’t meet us
• The specific wound emotional unavailability triggers 
• The validation trap that keeps us in relationship ground-hog day
• How “treat them mean, keep them keen” stimulates attachment — not attraction.

If you’ve ever found yourself puzzled by this topic, or agonising over"that person"  you hope will eventually choose you — this conversation will hit you between the eyes.

Let’s pull this one undone — together. 

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What happens when we stop trying to be equal, and start learning how to be complementary? 

In this episode, Jess is joined by Megan Granville for a deeply honest, nuanced conversation about masculine and feminine dynamics—in relationships, friendships, leadership, and in the workplace. 

Together, they explore why so many of us feel exhausted, disconnected, or stuck in “doing mode,” and how unlearning masculine conditioning can feel both liberating and terrifying. 

From feminism, to dating norms, to sexism in the workplace - this episode challenges the idea that equality means sameness, and instead invites a more balanced way of relating. 

This is a conversation for anyone who:

• Feels the tension between independence and surrender
• Struggles to soften after years of being in survival or hustle mode
• Wants deeper, more authentic relationships
• Is questioning what it practically looks like to show up in their feminine energy

You’ll hear real-life examples and practical insights on:

• The misunderstood power of feminine energy (and why it’s not weakness)
• How masculine dominance shows up in relationships and workplaces
• The paradox of advocating feminism in a masculine way
• What true balance between structure and flow actually looks like

This episode isn’t about choosing one energy over the other. It’s about learning how to hold both—so you can relate, lead, love, and live with more ease. 

Come undone with us—and discover what becomes possible when you stop forcing and start receiving.

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When you’ve invested so much time, money, effort, and resources into something - how do you know when it’s right to let go of it?

Whether that be a business venture, a project, a job, or relationship.

Is it okay to walk away from something I've committed to already? 

How could I not see it as a failure if I do? 

How can I accept putting that much energy into something when it didn’t achieve the outcome I wanted?

Should I stay and keep working at it until it achieves that outcome, and then walk away?

Is letting go really just giving up?

These are all questions we explore in today’s episode... 

May you find the wisdom to know when to walk away.  

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A practical exploration of what self-love actually means!

What is self-love, really? What increases it and what diminishes it? How do we measure our worth?

How can we counter-balance the systems that teach us we're only worthy by what we do? How can parents better support children to understand their worthiness is not based on achievement?

These are just some of the questions we discuss together in this episode.

Featuring the Director of Carewise Group, Rakai Strother.

Carewise specialises in providing SIL, ILO and CP to young male participants aged 18-40 with cognitive impairments, mental ill health and psychosocial challenges.

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