Abner recounts to Cedric about the latest happenings with the mineral springs, and grandpap. A hotel is planned for a resort. Cedric has his own concerns over his insurance company. Are they trying to make him move to a new place?

When Lum enters, he confuses Abner with his use of initials to refer to high powered business executives. He has been involved in the building project, and doesn’t want to be interrupted when a long distance call arrives.

The architect, WW Dobbs can be had for a song, a phrase that gets Abner confused over the old Edwards saying. Maybe harmonizing with CW… er… Cedric… with a round of They Cut Down the Old Pine Tree, will help things. Lum has to run out, just in time for the phone to ring. Since Abner knows just what Lum wants, he can deal with Mr Dobbs.

Another meeting has been called, and it looks like BJ Webster will be going through with his health resort idea, despite grandpap being reluctant. Abner is already anticipating being a bellhop, and wearing one of those caps with no bill.

Lum tries to get him to think ahead. The hotel has to be built first, then there’s the matter of electing a president. Now who would make the best choice… Lum drops hints… but will Abner think of who Pine Ridge’s favorite son might be? Oh… you mean Lum… but the confusion isn’t over.

In his attempts to be humble, unwilling, Incapable, and the like, Abner just can’t grasp the hints, and thinks Lum would be miserable in the position. Lum tries to get fhis friend to wear a sandwich sign to advertise the slogan to ‘Let Lum. But why is Lum selling sandwiches?

The confusions all come to a crashing end when grandpap enters with news.

Billy Mills plays, Bo Jangles of Harlem.

As Molly is busy in the kitchen, a message that could bring great change comes to Fibber. All he has to do is wire money to an entertainment agency, but he has to keep his investment under wraps. As he steps out, Abigail Uppington visits Molly with news about her lady’s group, and the same entertainment bureau. Will they stand to get a better director this year? The Old Timer pops in to sell Christmas cards, just a little early.

Chomping at the bit, Fibber anticipates a letter from that entertainment bureau. Nick Dipopolos is next at the door to discuss the lady’s group, and his lunch kitchen. Will Molly understand why Fibber may want to run out of town on secret business so soon? Harlowe shows up with his own special marketing idea to hype the sponsor.

A phone call for Molly is a let down for Fibber, but have the ladies heard about their entertainment yet? Teeny arrives to sell flowers. She gets an earful from Strip Tease McGee, and learns how he was formerly known that way. The Kingsmen sing, With the Wind and the Rain in Your Hair.

Crossed wires, and crossed signals come together when Molly insists that she won’t let Fibber leave town in the time of her great need. Gildersleeve enters to side with Molly. , and he volunteers to play a part in her production. The schoolboy bickering comes to a head when Fibber asiks the great man outside.

Note: the telegram boy who delivers the anticipated word to Fibber isn’t named, but the voice characterization is of Wallace Wimple. This may be the first time he appears in the show. Apparently a sight gag for the audience was used, since the reaction seemed out of proportion than just the voice alone.

Welcome to the Retro Radio Show Vault. Taking you back to the days when radio was young, and the first season of the podcast.

Installments in our Retro Original Channel have been sparse this month, but Keith tries to make up for lost time with this extra long, bonus episode. Though it adds time to the show, he reads the original show notes that were posted. It represents the first attempt at researching the history behind the showq, and Keith pauses to insert corrections where needed.

The old fashioned Retrobots pass on our old email, and web page address. Please don’t send mail there, but the old page is up. It just isn’t maintained any more.

If using podcatchers aren’t your thing, feel free to join the weekly email digest to get a list of wat was on this past week. Enter your email, hit the submit button, then click the link in the welcome email you’ll receive. if you don’t click the validation link, you won’t get any emails.

Here’s the original show notes. Enjoy.

Today’s show is much larger than I usually like to do. Sorry, I’ll keep it in line in the future.

In 1932, Jack was the MC but far from the show feature or its star. You will hear a very young Jack Benny, age 38, sounding just a little nervous. Though the cast had Sadie Marx on the billing, she doesn’t appear in this show. only Jack, George Olson and George Olson’s wife*1. In only a short time, Mary would be added to the line up. Don Wilson will follow in 1934, after the sponsors change from Canada Dry to Chevrolet and then to General Tires. As the 1934 season kicked off in the Fall, the show was picked up by the Jello company. Kenny Baker, the prototype of Dennis Day made his first appearance in 1935 and left at the end of the 1939 season. There were a variety of band leaders, but when Phil Harris signed on for the 1936 season it wouldn’t be until 1952 before a new bandleader was needed.

In this first episode, Jack admits that he drives a bicycle built for two. Of course his Maxwell wasn’t purchased for another few years. He makes mention of his “girlfriend” from Newark New Jersey. She never has a speaking part. In fact, there is an eerie silence at Jack’s joking around. There doesn’t seem to be a live audience in the studio*2. Jack wise cracks with George Olson in a style similar to the way he would interact with Don Wilson and Phil Harris in future seasons. For this new, dry comedian for Canada Dry, the musical acts seem to be the main attraction. Little could anyone tell that his career would be so long lasting, touched so many people or come to the pinnacle that it would reach.

A few items of history up to this point. Jack was born on Valentines Day 1894 as Benjamin Kubelski. His father was a taylor, he was born at home*3. In 1912, at age 18 he began his vaudeville career where he made friends with other performers of the day. Fred Allen, George Burns, Eddie Canter, the Marx Brothers and many more who would later go on to greater fame. Jack was billed in those days, as a concert violinist. For a time he was known as Benny K*4. While enlisted in the Navy during World War 1, he was assigned to a unit that was detailed with performing for the troops. It was during his Navy career that he was advised to focus on comedy and being an MC, rather than playing the violin. He also changed his name to Jack Benny.

In 1922, Jack was 28 and was invited by his friend Zeppo Marx to celebrate Passover that year with his family. Jack was introduced to Sadie Marx, age 14 and the younger sister of the Marx Brothers*5. She returned the favor by attending his act with a group of her friends and spent the whole time heckling him. Jack then went to California to visit his old friend George Burns and some cute little blonde that he started doing a...

A local milk company is sponsoring a contest that the girls want to participate in. Phil brags on his own good looks as a baby, and his sentimental toys bottles, and other artifacts. Though Alice has forbidden the girls from sending in their pictures, they conspire to send in Phil’s. Alice sings, I Don’t Care if the Sun Don’t Shine.

What will Frankie think of the naked little monkey, riding the bear… er… I mean the photo of baby Phil on the bearskin rug. When Phil gets a phone call that the picture of his son just won first prize, Phil thinks Alice has some explaining to do. But will he be in his rights to claim the money, even though he’s not a baby any more?

Though Phil and Alice are good with backing out of the contest, Frankie can only see dollar signs. How does he propose to have a baby in short order? Frankie knows a dame. He and Phil head out to have a talk with her. On the way, they run into Grogan who has a matchmaking business. Has Phil thought of a trade in on his wife? If Phil isn’t in the market for a new, 80 year old wife… how about a little old man?

Back home, Phil is visited by Grogan, and a whole line up of babies and kids for him to choose from. Has the baby really been playing with Grogan’s gun? When the man from the contest visits, he recognizes his own baby.

Attempts at using psychology on grandpap have failed to get him to cooperate in using his land as the location of the spa. Lum and Abner agonize over what to try next, when Cedric is seen arriving. Wonderful world! Its a phrase that has been used in town now for a couple years, but Lum is tiring of the cheerful greeting.

Cedric seems to have invented the first selfie stick, using a string to trigger his camera to take a photo of himself. He hasn’t had a lot of luck, and with one shot left on his roll of film, he needs the gents to take a romantic picture for his gal Clarabelle.

Cedric will miss the way he shared her on dates with Gomer Bates, as she will be going away in the Army soon. The photo shoot turns into a marketing opportunity for the store. Will this make Cedric the next pinup poster for the soldiers? Especially if he wears Lum’s comical old swimsuit. A lesson on taking a picture means wasting the last shot. Will Lizabeth be jealous of Abner now?

Also titled: Making a Movie with the Andrews Sisters

Lou is excited with news that could end the war in minutes, then talks about his uncle Artie Stebbens. The jokes are about laziness, and quickly turns to talking about their guests, the Andrews Sisters. Lou gets a little confused over a few words that Bud uses. Lou decides that he wants to sing for the sisters as a special treat. To help, Bud gives a music lesson. Bud brags about his musical ability in his younger days, but his efforts just cause him to end up the straight man for Lou’s musical related jokes.

Connie Haines sings, Close As Pages in a Book.

Bud and Lou keep getting ready for the Andrews Sisters as Mellonhead visits. He has an odd hay fever problem, and talks about the recent show that featured the Andrews Brothers. Mellonhead claims to be a lawyer, and is switching sides between the fictitious Andrews Brothers and the real Andrews Sisters in a law suit against Lou. The Andrews Sisters arrive, and they keep up the theme of the law suit. Arguing over talent, Lou’s talent is questioned, but the suit will be dropped if Lou agrees to appear in their next picture.

The Andrews Sisters sing, I’m Beginning to See the Light.

At the studio, Lou and Mel Blanc swap puns, then the Andrews Sisters get the shooting started. Lou takes direction from Lou Holz, the fast talking, double talking director. Patty is looking forward to her big love scene with Lou, but when the director walks off, Patty keeps the double talk going.

Don’t go away yet, as a finale Lou really does sing with the Andrews Sisters. A special disarrangement of Sonny Boy.

After opening ad libs, and honors for Skinny Ennis, Bob lets the audience know they are about to hear a preview of his upcoming show.

,, Bob “Broadcasting for the Girls in Service” Hope gets right into teasing the nurses, and staff regarding giving health care to Skinny. Lifestyle of the girls in the nursing corps is shared, and some of the training they go through. If Skinny and Bob are patients, will Francis and Vera be nurses? Jeeps, aircraft, commando raids, picnics, dating, and more are part of the jokes.

Francis Langford sings, Brazil. Herbert Marshal joins Bob for candid moments of what the stars have to put up with when it comes to being on the show. Pretty girls, dating technique, style and fashion, romance, and more are among the topics. The two role play their romance technique on each other. Francis gets to be the guinea pig for their experiment in culture. Opera, dating movie stars, and kissing, how will Herbert demonstrate his idea of Bob’s dating method? There’s plenty of jive talking one liners centered on the sponsor, necking, cheap dates, and necking. The fast talking lines on starlets, glamour girls, kissing, puns, and the like never stray far from… did I say it? necking.

Skinny Ennis sings, Old Man Romance Is His Name.

Jerry Kolonna sings, Conchita Rosita Juanita O’Toole. He follows it with a trumpet medley including, All or Nothing at All and the Peanut Vender.

When news has leaked out of Bob’s coming to San Diego, we are made privy to news releases, and how the town has accepted his arrival. Bellhop Kolonna helps with the luggage. How are the room accommodations for Bob and Skinny in their hotel?

Vera Veg tells about her job as a welder in a defense plant. She shares her Wiley ways of looking for a husband. Bob and Jerry share their peeping Tom habits, in the crowded hotels. Flubs mean reworked lines, but the topic of honeymoons is reached, maids, and more. Herbert Marshal returns for his room, and jokes with Vera Veg. As an elevator operator, Jerry has a new set of problems for Bob.

As Lum and Abner discuss the events of the new health resort, and grandpap’s change of mind in using his land, the details are reviewed. Is it all because Abner’s poppa is all for it, so grandpap is automatically opposed to it? Maybe they can convince old Phinus to argue grandpap into agreeing.

Abner gets on the party line to see if his poppa is at Dick Huddleston’s store. Phinus arrives, but thinks the call from Dick is for him, and starts to run back to see who is over there for him. The matter is untangled enough to keep Phinus around. Will he be up to saying he’s against the plan, just to get grandpap to agree?

Get ready for the big debate when grandpap arrives. It looks like its working… it looks like its working… it looks like its…. Um… await… what just happened? The deal’s off again.

The weather inspires jokes about Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and his horses. Ray Noble talks about his date with Gracie, and we learn about Gracie’s kangaroo. Her small apartment has only one bed for her whole family, and kangaroo. Frank Parker, and Ray feed the jokes for Gracie, and for big laughs.

Frank Parker sings, The Moon Was Yellow and the Night Was Young. George and Gracie tease Frank about Kenny Baker. Bubbles tells abiotic dating Don Wilson, and Ray talks about being in pictures. Gracie tells about a baby picture where she’s covered in ice cream. A specialist in mental therapeutics entered. The psychiatrist talks to Gracie about her dreams. Ray plays a swinging dance number.

The cast talk about what they’ll do once Gracie is elected. Interruptions at the door shifts the talk to how crazy the cast members are. The lunatic commission has sent a man to check out the show. Ray and Gracie take time to flirt. Will they find each other affectionate? Do they give each other goose pimples?

Gracie sings, I Can’t Love you.