COMING HOME TO YOU with Margarita Rose - You've Been Expected

S2E42: “Maybe the opposite of addiction isn't perfection. Maybe it's presence.”

“How many times can you call something an exception before you admit it's the pattern?”

What happens when you genuinely want to change - but keep choosing the very thing you said you don't want anymore?

In this deeply personal episode of the Coming Home to You Sparkcast, Margarita Rose explores her relationship with alcohol, addiction, self-abandonment, people-pleasing, belonging and the uncomfortable gap between knowing what we want and actually practicing it.

This isn't a conversation about shame or getting recovery “perfect.” It's an inquiry into what lives beneath the behavior: What am I hoping the drink will do for me? What need am I trying to meet? Do I belong to myself? And can my word to myself begin to mean something again?

You'll also learn The Honesty Check, a simple Coming Home practice for naming the story, uncovering the need, recognizing the cost and making one Better-Than choice - without demanding forever from yourself. Maybe the question isn't, Do I love myself enough to change?

Maybe it's:

Can I love myself while I learn how to change?

#addictionrecovery #alcoholrecovery #selftrust #selfabandonment #selfhonesty #peoplepleasing #healingjourney #recoveryjourney #embodiment #sparkcast #cominghometoyou #cupofawakening #soulsparkyourlife #soulsparksanctuary #margaritarose #empoweredwomen #womenwhorisetogether #abetterthanchoice #youareenough #embodiedleadership

S2E41: What if the part of your story you’re most tempted to hide is the part that helps another woman feel seen?You don’t need a perfect ending before your truth has value.What if the story you keep trying to hide...is the exact story someone else needs to hear?Not because you owe anyone your pain.Not because every wound needs to become content.And not because healing requires public disclosure.But because sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer another human being is:“Me too.”In this Cup of Awakening, Margarita Rose explores the courage it takes to tell the truth about who we are, what we’ve lived through, what we’re still learning, and the parts of ourselves we may have spent years editing, minimizing, or hiding.Maybe you’ve thought:Who am I to share this?I’m not fully healed yet.What will people think?What if they judge me?What if my story isn’t important enough?But what if your story was never supposed to be impressive?What if it was simply supposed to be true?Because someone else may be living inside the chapter you already survived.Someone may be wondering whether she’s the only one.The only one who stayed too long.The only one who numbed.The only one who lost herself.The only one who struggled with motherhood, marriage, identity, addiction, shame, grief, people-pleasing, boundaries, or trying to become whoever everyone else needed her to be.And then she hears you say:“I’ve been there too.”And suddenly...she isn’t alone anymore.This conversation is also a reminder that sharing your story does not mean sharing everything.Discernment matters.Privacy matters.Boundaries matter.Not everyone is entitled to every chapter.You get to decide what is sacred, what is private, what is still too tender, and what is ready to become medicine.Because authenticity isn’t exposure.Authenticity is alignment.It’s telling the truth without abandoning yourself in the process.You don’t need the perfect ending.You don’t need to have every lesson figured out.You don’t need to be completely healed.Maybe you simply need the courage to say:This happened.This mattered.This changed me.And I’m still here.If this Cup opened something in you, subscribe and share it with a sister who may be sitting on a story she thinks doesn’t matter.Maybe she needs the reminder:Her voice belongs in the room too.Social captionWhat if the part of your story you’re most ashamed to tell...is the part that makes another woman whisper:“Oh my God. Me too.”We spend so much time editing ourselves.Making the story prettier.Cleaner.More acceptable.Waiting until we’re completely healed before we speak.Waiting until we know exactly what it all meant.Waiting until we can wrap the pain in a perfect little bow.But life doesn’t always work like that.Sometimes we’re still becoming while we’re talking about becoming.Sometimes the most honest thing we can say is:I don’t have the whole answer yet.But this is what I’ve lived.This is what I know today.And maybe that is enough.Your story doesn’t need to be dramatic to matter.It doesn’t need to go viral.It doesn’t need to save the world.Maybe it reaches one woman.Maybe she hears something in your story that helps her stop believing she’s the only one.That matters.And no...you do not owe everybody every detail.Boundaries are sacred too.Your truth can be visible without becoming public property.Share what feels aligned.Protect what is still sacred.But please...don’t erase yourself because you think your story isn’t important enough.We need your story.#cupofawakening #sparkcast #cominghometoyou #soulsparkyourlife #soulsparksanctuary #margaritarose #empoweredwomen #womenwhorisetogether #abetterthanchoice #youareenough #embodiedleadership #yourstorymatters #shareyourstory #authenticity #vulnerability #findingyourvoice #healingjourney #selfworth #youarenotalone #cominghometoyourself

S2E40: You don't have to perform your light. You have to stop abandoning it. What if the life you're trying to find isn't gone - you've just been leaving pieces of yourself behind to survive, belong, and keep the peace?What if the reason you feel disconnected from yourself isn't because you've lost who you are?What if you've been slowly leaving yourself behind?For years, I thought “dimming my light” meant other people couldn't handle my fullness.Maybe I was too loud.Too emotional.Too creative.Too spiritual.Too much.But eventually I had to confront a harder truth:I wasn't only dimming my light. I was dimming my life.My voice.My joy.My creativity.My music.My dancing.My desires.My boundaries.My dreams.The things that made me feel most like me.And the uncomfortable question became:Where am I still reaching for the dimmer switch first?In this deeply personal episode of the Coming Home to You Sparkcast, Margarita Rose explores self-abandonment, people-pleasing, belonging, identity, survival patterns, fear, worthiness, and the subtle ways we can disappear from our own lives while convincing ourselves we're simply being loving, patient, loyal, understanding, or strong.Because self-abandonment doesn't always look dramatic.Sometimes it looks responsible.Sometimes it looks compassionate.Sometimes it looks like compromise.Sometimes it sounds like:It's fine.I'll wait.They need me.I don't want to upset anyone.Now isn't the right time.Maybe I'm asking for too much.And eventually...you have to ask:What is this costing me?This episode isn't about blaming yourself for the ways you learned to survive.It's about recognizing when an old survival strategy has become an identity - and realizing that awareness gives you another choice.You'll also leave with a practical Coming Home Practice from Margarita's Bag of Tricks designed to help you notice where you've been making yourself smaller and reconnect with one thing that makes you feel unmistakably alive.Because maybe the opposite of dimming isn't shining.Maybe the opposite of dimming is aliveness.You don't have to suddenly become fearless.You don't need to perform your authenticity.You don't have to prove how healed, powerful, spiritual, or confident you are.You simply get to ask:Where do I still feel most like myself?And then follow that tiny spark home.If this episode feels familiar, subscribe and share it with a sister who has spent too much of her life believing that belonging required her to become smaller.Your life does not have to become the price you pay to be loved.#sparkcast #cominghometoyou #cupofawakening #soulsparkyourlife #soulsparksanctuary #margaritarose #empoweredwomen #womenwhorisetogether #abetterthanchoice #youareenough #embodiedleadership #selfabandonment #peoplepleasing #selflove #selfworth #chooseyourself #dimmingyourlight #authenticity #selftrust #healingjourney #findingyourself #reclaimyourlife #cominghometoyourself

S2E38: I Was Dimming My Own Life - The parts of me I buried to survive were the very parts that made me feel alive.What if nobody else has to dim your light...because somewhere along the way, you learned to reach for the dimmer switch first?In this deeply personal episode of the Coming Home to You Sparkcast, Margarita Rose explores a realization that changed the way she sees self-love, healing, and personal responsibility:I wasn't just dimming my light. I was dimming my life.Little by little, pieces of her disappeared.Her voice.Creativity.Music.Dancing.Joy.Spirituality.Desires.Boundaries.Dreams.Truth.Not all at once.And not because she didn't care about herself.Some of those layers were built for very understandable reasons: to survive, belong, stay safe, avoid rejection, protect against abandonment, keep relationships intact, and become whatever seemed necessary in the moment.But eventually, protection can become a prison.In this raw Wild Truth, Margarita looks honestly at depression, numbing, self-abandonment, worthiness, sacrifice, resentment, fear, old survival strategies, and the painful places where she kept looking outside herself for the person or circumstance responsible for giving her life back.And then came the harder realization:What if I have been waiting for someone else to stop dimming me while I am still abandoning myself?This isn't about blaming ourselves for what happened to us.It's about recognizing where our power lives now.Because awareness gives us another choice.To notice.Pause.Return.And make one Better-Than choice that moves us closer to the life we actually want to be present for.You'll also leave with a practical Coming Home Practice from Margarita's Bag of Tricks to help you notice where you've been making yourself smaller and begin reclaiming one piece of yourself at a time.You don't have to suddenly become louder.You don't have to perform your healing.You don't have to prove how bright you are.You simply get to stop abandoning the parts of you that make you feel alive.If you recognize yourself in this conversation, subscribe and share this episode with a sister who has spent too much of her life believing she had to disappear in order to belong.Your story matters.Your voice matters.Your joy matters.Your life matters.And you are still allowed to come home.Social captionI used to think dimming my light meant other people couldn't handle me.Maybe they thought I was too much.Too loud.Too emotional.Too creative.Too spiritual.Too opinionated.Too... me.And yes, there have been places where being fully myself didn't feel safe.But eventually I had to ask a much harder question:Where am I reaching for the dimmer switch first?Because I realized I wasn't only dimming my light.I was dimming my life.My music.My dancing.My creativity.My joy.My voice.My dreams.My needs.My truth.Piece by piece, I had learned how to disappear while still technically being there.And this isn't a story about blaming myself for how I learned to survive.It's about recognizing that once I can see the pattern...I have choices.I can honor the woman who learned to make herself smaller.And I can stop asking her to run my life.I don't need to perform my light.I don't need to prove my healing.I don't need everybody to understand me.I just need to stop abandoning the things that make me feel alive.Maybe you do too.If you see yourself in this one, send it to a sister who needs the reminder:You are still here. Come home.#sparkcast #cominghometoyou #cupofawakening #soulsparkyourlife #soulsparksanctuary #margaritarose #empoweredwomen #womenwhorisetogether #abetterthanchoice #youareenough #embodiedleadership #selfabandonment #selflove #selfworth #chooseyourself #dimmingyourlight #authenticity #healingjourney #traumahealing #peoplepleasing #findingyourself #reclaimyourlife #cominghometoyourself

S2E37: Cup of Awakening:

What if loving yourself isn’t only about believing you’re worthy?

What if self-love also means refusing to keep handing today over to what happened yesterday?

In this Cup of Awakening, Margarita Rose explores the deeper layers beneath self-love: old pain, resentment, abandonment, sacrifice, survival patterns, self-abandonment, and the stories we can unknowingly keep giving authority over our lives.

Sometimes we’re waiting for someone else to change.

To apologize.

To understand.

To acknowledge what happened.

To finally become the person we needed them to be.

And without realizing it, we can make our freedom dependent on their evolution.

This conversation isn’t about pretending the past didn’t matter - or blaming yourself for what happened.

It’s about asking:

What can I choose in this moment?

What is the next Better-Than choice that brings me closer to myself instead of farther away?

Maybe you raised your voice.

Ignored the boundary.

People-pleased.

Numbed.

Went back to an old pattern.

Okay.

You are still here.

You don’t need perfection for the moment to matter.

You don’t have to repair your entire life today.

You only have to meet the next choice with a little more honesty, care, and self-trust than the one before it.

Because your past is part of your story.

If this Cup opens something in you, subscribe and share it with a sister who may need permission to stop waiting and begin choosing herself again.

What becomes mine now?Come back. Choose again.It does not get to become the author of everything that comes next.

#cupofawakening #sparkcast #cominghometoyou #soulsparkyourlife #soulsparksanctuary #margaritarose #empoweredwomen #womenwhorisetogether #abetterthanchoice #youareenough #embodiedleadership #selflove #selfabandonment #selftrust #chooseyourself #healingjourney #emotionalhealing #reclaimyourpower #breakthepattern #cominghometoyourself

S2E37: Cup of Awakening: Love Yourself Enough to Choose Again

What changes when you stop waiting for someone else to change before giving yourself permission to live?A powerful conversation about self-love, self-abandonment, personal responsibility, and the freedom to choose again.What if loving yourself isn’t only about believing you’re worthy?What if self-love is also refusing to keep handing your present life over to what happened in the past?In this Cup of Awakening, Margarita Rose explores the deeper layers beneath self-love: resentment, fear, abandonment, sacrifice, old survival strategies, self-abandonment, and the stories we can unknowingly keep giving authority over our lives.Because sometimes we’re waiting for someone else to change.To apologize.To finally understand.To acknowledge what happened.To become the person we needed them to be.And somewhere inside that waiting, we can accidentally make our freedom dependent on their evolution.This episode is an invitation to take your power back.Not through blame.Not by pretending the past didn’t matter.And not by shaming yourself for the choices you made while you were surviving.But by asking:What becomes mine now?What do I choose in this moment?What is the next Better-Than choice that brings me a little closer to myself?Because maybe you raised your voice.Maybe you abandoned a boundary.Maybe you people-pleased again.Maybe you numbed.Maybe you ignored what you knew.Okay.You are still here.Come back. Choose again.In this episode, we explore why self-love can mean thanking old protective patterns without allowing them to keep running your life, how responsibility differs from blame, and why one imperfect choice does not have to become another identity.You don’t have to repair your entire life today.You just get to choose what happens next.Because your past is part of your story.It does not have to remain the author of your future.#cupofawakening #sparkcast #cominghometoyou #soulsparkyourlife #soulsparksanctuary #margaritarose #empoweredwomen #womenwhorisetogether #abetterthanchoice #youareenough #embodiedleadership #selflove #selfabandonment #selftrust #healingjourney #personalgrowth #emotionalhealing #reclaimyourpower #chooseyourself #breakthepattern #mindsetshift #cominghometoyourself

S2E36: What If Nobody Has to Be Wrong? Being understood is not the same as being agreed with. What happens when a simple disagreement suddenly feels like something much bigger?In this episode of the Coming Home to You Sparkcast, Margarita Rose explores the moment when being interrupted, misunderstood, corrected, or remembered differently can trigger a deeper fear: If they don’t agree with my version, does my experience still count?This is a raw conversation about memory, projection, self-worth, and the need to prove what happened. Margarita explores why conflict can start to feel like a courtroom, why someone else’s certainty about us can make us question ourselves, and how easily the desire to be heard can turn into a fight to be right.Along the way, she asks some powerful questions:What am I actually trying to protect?What meaning am I making about this disagreement?Do I need them to agree with me in order to trust what I know?What is the conversation underneath the conversation?You’ll also learn a simple PAUSE → NAME → CHOOSE practice to help interrupt reactivity, reconnect with your body, and make a Better-Than choice rooted in truth, self-trust, and connection.Because being understood is not the same as being agreed with.And your worth does not have to go on trial every time someone sees something differently.If this conversation opens something in you, subscribe and share it with a sister who may be learning how to honor her truth without turning every disagreement into a battlefield.Keep rising, keep shining, keep coming home.#sparkcast #cominghometoyou #cupofawakening #soulsparkyourlife #soulsparksanctuary #margaritarose #empoweredwomen #womenwhorisetogether #abetterthanchoice #youareenough #embodiedleadership #selftrust #communication #conflictresolution #selfworth #healingjourney #relationships #emotionalintelligence #selfawareness #personalgrowth

S2E35: Cup of Awakening: Do You Abandon Yourself First? What if the thing you’ve been calling self-sabotage is actually self-protection wearing an old disguise? Sometimes we abandon ourselves first so nobody else gets the chance. The wall that holds pain out can keep love out too. In this Cup of Awakening, I’m sharing something that surfaced for me during an AA meeting, how easy it can be to get comfortable, think we have “the thing” under control, and then realize that the deeper patterns underneath it may still be asking for our attention. For me, that led somewhere unexpected: relationships. I started getting curious about the ways addiction has affected the relationships I care about, the friendships I haven’t always nurtured, and the ways betrayal, abandonment, and feeling taken advantage of may have taught me to want intimacy while simultaneously keeping people at arm’s length. What if I didn’t avoid closeness because I didn’t want it? What if some part of me learned that closeness wasn’t safe? And then came the question that changed the whole conversation: Do I abandon myself before someone else gets the chance? Because this pattern doesn’t necessarily stop with relationships. Where do we keep one foot out the door with our work, money, health, sobriety, dreams, opportunities, or commitments? Where do we say we want something while quietly protecting ourselves from actually receiving it? In this episode, we explore fear of abandonment, addiction, relationships, self-protection, self-sabotage, trust, vulnerability, and the old strategies we may still be using to keep ourselves from getting hurt. Not to judge them. To understand them. Because sometimes the question isn’t: “Why do I keep ruining this?” Maybe it’s: “What am I trying to protect myself from?” And perhaps even more importantly: What am I asking other people, or life, to give me that I may still be withholding from myself? You don’t have to get it perfect. You just need to notice, pause, breathe, and make a Better-Than choice. One choice that treats you with a little more honesty, a little more care, and a little more self-trust than the choice before it. That’s how you come home. I am Margarita Rose, and this was your Cup of Awakening. Sip it slowly, sisters. #sparkcast #cominghometoyou #cupofawakening #soulsparkyourlife #soulsparksanctuary #margaritarose #empoweredwomen #womenwhorisetogether #abetterthanchoice #youareenough #embodiedleadership

S2E34: YOU ARE NOT YOUR ADDICTION: A Different Conversation About Recovery

In this return episode of Coming Home to You, I’m having a conversation I’ve been hesitant to have out loud.

I talk openly about sobriety, AA, my discomfort with repeatedly identifying myself as “an alcoholic,” and the deeper question that has been changing the way I understand healing:

When does something we experience become something we decide we are?

Inspired by the symbolism of the Pisces lunar eclipse, this episode explores release, shadow work, identity, self-worth, recovery, and the stories we place after the words “I am.”

Instead of only asking, “Why did I do this?” or “What’s wrong with me?” I’m exploring a different question:

What was this trying to do for me? What if people pleasing was trying to create belonging? What if perfectionism was trying to prevent criticism? What if control was trying to create safety? What if numbing was trying to provide relief from something we didn’t yet know how to hold?

Understanding a behavior doesn’t erase responsibility. It gives us more information, more compassion, and ultimately more choice.

We also explore shadow work through a different lens, not as proof of what is wrong with us, but as an opportunity to illuminate what has been running beneath the surface. Because maybe healing isn’t about becoming someone completely different.

Maybe it’s about becoming curious enough to stop confusing what we’ve lived through with who we are.

In this episode, we explore:

sobriety and my evolving relationship with AA

the identity behind “I am an alcoholic”

shadow work without shame

the deeper needs underneath coping behaviors

self-concept and the labels we repeatedly give ourselves

curiosity as a pathway to healing

releasing identities that no longer belong to us

the Pisces lunar eclipse as a symbolic invitation to reflect, release, and see ourselves more clearly

What are you ready to stop calling yourself? And what might become possible if you stopped building your future around an old definition of who you are?

Keep rising.

Keep shining.

Keep coming home.

You are enough, exactly as you are.

#cominghometoyou #sparkcast #soulsparkyourlife #recovery #aa #addiction #margaritarose #iam #youarenotyouraddiction #youarenotbroken #youareenough #youmatter #bekindtoyourselfandothers #sistership #sisterhood #womenwhorisetogether #empoweredwomen #alcoholicsanonymous #soulsparksanctuary

S2E33: Cup of Awakening What if your body isn't sabotaging you? How I almost forced myself into joy...until my body said no. What if joy doesn’t always sound like yes? What if sometimes joy sounds like… not today? In this Cup of Awakening episode, Margarita Rose shares a real-time moment of choosing self-respect over forcing an experience that no longer felt aligned. After planning a spontaneous overnight trip to the Hot Springs, packing until 4:00 a.m., and feeling genuinely excited to choose joy, her body began sending a different message: stomach discomfort, queasiness, exhaustion, uncertainty, and a deep inner pause. At first, it looked like a choice between joy and fear. But the deeper realization was this: Sometimes joy looks like self-respect. This episode is for the woman who is learning to listen to her body, honor her nervous system, stop overriding herself, and choose alignment over proving. It’s for the woman who has ever forced the plan because she already said yes, ignored her body because she didn’t want to disappoint people, or wondered if changing her mind meant she was failing. Maybe your body isn’t sabotaging your joy. Maybe your body is trying to protect your peace. Inside this episode, we explore self-trust, nervous system wisdom, body-based intuition, self-abandonment, integrity, sacred pauses, and the quiet power of choosing what is true now. Because sometimes the wisdom isn’t waiting at the destination. Sometimes it’s born the moment we stop overriding ourselves. This is your Cup of Awakening. Sip it slowly, sisters. #CupOfAwakening #ComingHomeToYou #sparkcast #SoulSparkSanctuary #soulsparkyourlife #SometimesJoyLooksLikeSelfRespect #JoyLooksDifferentToday #SelfRespect #SelfTrust #NervousSystemWisdom #BodyWisdom #Embodiment #StopOverridingYourself #SelfAbandonment #ChooseAlignment #WomenHealing #CycleBreaker #SoulLedWomen #HealingJourney #MargaritaRose