Commit One

Well....they had to get to this ”amazing” director sooner or later. Will, Mike, and Sam kick off their third Halloween month as well as their second Trilogy of Torture by looking at three of the early English-language films (and video game film adaptations) of Uwe Boll! For this week the Commit One crew is looking at Boll’s first video game movie with the headache-inducing and over-the-top nuttiness that is the 2003 film House of the Dead.  Representing almost nothing from the video game it is based on and starring no one really of note other than featuring Opie Taylor’s little brother (Clint Howard, younger brother of director Ron Howard), this has a plot that makes pretty much no sense, has very dumb characters making even dumber decisions, and so many unnecessary jump cuts to the video game that would make your head spin if the camera did not do it already! It really lives up to Uwe Boll’s reputation as a film director, and the Commit One crew is unfortunately here for every groan-inducing minute of it.

Did you miss us? Will, Mike, and Sam make their somewhat-epic return after a four-month hiatus to kick off the third year of the Commit One Movie Podcast with a bit of an explanation (but a good one) of why they have been gone for so long, what they have been up to during the time away, and a preview of a few episodes to come including one that was recorded BEFORE the hiatus but again was not able to be posted (again, they do explain that in the episode). So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the madcap banter that only the Commit One crew can bring you (or you can jump ahead to the next episode as this is a TWO episode premiere)!

This episode is dedicated to the memory of Ray Liotta.

Disney is at it again! Will, Mike, and Sam jump back into the Disney vault for a Vietnam War family comedy film (talk about an oxymoron) that is somehow based on a true story in 1995’s Operation Dumbo Drop. Featuring a well-rounded cast with main stars Ray Liotta, Danny Glover and Denis Leary along with Doug E. Doug and Corin Nemic, the film follows a dysfunctional group of soldiers attempting to deliver an elephant to a Vietnamese village in order to maintain a military influence over the famous Ho Chi Minh trail....wow, that sounds very convoluted when said out loud doesn’t it? Regardless of the plot, it still features decent acting but with the family-friendly ”stink” that only Disney can do, and the Commit One Crew is here to sift through all of the nonsense.

The title should really explain a lot about this one! Will, Mike, and Sam go back into the world of semi-horror/more thriller and suspense (with a small dash of Lance Henriksen) with the 2016 film Gehenna: Where Death Lives. Starring no one else really of note besides the small cameo by Henriksen, the film starts off with very lousy acting that does get better as the story becomes more convoluted when time travel ends up getting thrown into the mix. Yes, you read that right...time travel. It is an odd little film that, while it does have a few redeeming qualities, ultimately does nothing besides being a good background movie. Despite this, the Commit One Crew is here to still try and make some kind of sense of this film.

What in the name of good taste and Skeleton Man was this? Will, Mike, and Sam really scrape the bottom of the barrel this time as Will and Sam slowly lose what sanity they have left (much to Mike’s amusement and delight) with the 2021 disaster of a film called Sky Sharks. Horrible acting, horrible set pieces, an insane plot by any standards, and just bad taste all around is what makes up this insult to cinema....and we haven’t even gotten to the zombies yet! However, despite the pain that this film brings (in more ways than one), the Commit One crew is here to suffer through it so you do not have to.

This episode is dedicated to the memory of Gilbert Gottfried.

This is where it all began for lesser-quality Disney sequels. Will, Mike, and Sam return to the less-than wonderful world of Disney by looking at their very first direct-to-video film which also serves as the pilot episode (albeit releasing four months after the series debuted) of the TV series Aladdin with 1994’s The Return of Jafar. Despite Robin Williams not returning to the role of the Genie, this film still stands out with most of the cast returning including the late, great Gilbert Gottfried in his most memorable and iconic role as Iago where he turns from the side of evil to be more of an anti-hero with this film serving as a redemption story. Despite an interesting premise, the film is saddled with a rushed runtime, poor animation quality (it is for TV after all) and no memorable songs. Despite returning to this world and the great characters, the Commit One crew thinks that Disney maybe should have left this one buried in the Cave of Wonders...

Why has it taken the Commit One crew so long to even talk about the Razzies? Will, Mike, and Sam take a short pause on their movie reviews to take a look at the annual Golden Raspberry Awards which for the past 42 years have ”honored” the worst in film. Despite many controversies detailing what films are nominated to how the awards are given out to the actual voting committee not even needing to watch the film, the ”Razzies” have still provided some fun times when it comes to the films that are covered. With this year’s ceremony having wrapped up a couple of weeks ago, the Commit One crew decided to have some fun and look at and discuss the nominees this year as well as play a bit of a guessing game with the winners. It may be one-and-done, it may even provide more bad films to cover, but the Razzies still help give these bad films their due.

This is one film that needed a recall. Will, Mike and Sam take a look at another childhood-destroying film and Hollywood and Disney take an existing property with an existing story and instead make an unneeded origin story that is still disconnected with the source material in the 1999 film Inspector Gadget. Starring Matthew Broderick in the title role, the film shows what happens when you try to take the wackiness from better films like The Mask, try to make it family-friendly, and end up trimming a lot of the film to the effect that the pacing is completely off to get this mess of a film. Despite the effort, they just missed the mark by THAT much and should have just self-destructed before the release date. Don’t worry though, the Commit One crew is always on duty to save you from having to waste 78 minutes of your life.

This should have been banished for Eternia: Will, Mike, and Sam return again to the 1980s with a childhood-destroying, convoluted, and confusing mess of a film that is 1987’s Masters of the Universe. Starring Dolph Lundgren in only his second starring role as He-Man, this film shows what happens when you make a film based off of a toy line, mostly ignore the cartoon series based on said toy line, and drop the audience right in the middle of the action with little to no explanation before inevitably moving most of the action from the fictional world to the real world of Earth (yeah....they did that). It’s corny, all over the place, and even ends with a tease for another film (which never happened), but really, what else can you expect from the Commit One crew and an 80s film?

Disclaimer: During the editing of this episode Sam realized that some of our mocking of the over-the-top acting in some scenes of this film could accidentally be misinterpreted by listeners as us mocking other aspects of those scenes such as the content. We apologize if anyone even briefly misunderstands our reactions as this was not our intent and we hope you still enjoy this episode.

Well....at least there’s good music? Will, Mike, and Sam journey back into the world of musicals with a film adaptation of a successful Broadway musical that doesn’t quite hit all of the right notes in the 2012 film Rock of Ages. Despite a decent ensemble cast which includes Tom Cruise in his first musical as the rocker Stacee Jaxx and a good soundtrack consisting of covers of famous rock songs sung by the actors themselves, the good just does help the rather bland story at its core that is ultimately too overdone for a bloated two-hour runtime. It is so poorly made that even one of the stars (Alec Baldwin) disowned the film before it was even made. It really is anything but a good time, but the Commit One crew is ready to turn off their brains and sing along with the stupid.