Confident Collective

Olympic athlete and Tik Tok star Ilona Maher's confidence is contagious. She started playing Rugby as a senior in college then made it as an Olympic Rugby player in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics where she went viral on Tik Tok with her witty commentary and insightful view into the Olympic Village. Ilona is hilarious, and an incredible role model for women and girls by encouraging us to embrace our strength and athleticism. In this episode we talk about the false stereotypes around Rugby players, how playing a sport has helped her confidence, how to deal with people saying you're "too much," dating stories and advice, overcoming insecurities and so much more. We had a blast chatting with Ilona and know you'll love this episode! P.S. Make sure to check her out on Tik Tok if you haven't already.

"Not all bodies are meant to be slim and it's such a fable that we're told that you want to be as thin as possible in order to be beautiful." - Ilona Maher

What we talk about:

• Raeann's new most embarrassing moment

• Raeann and Kristina's take on the new Skims campaign

• How playing a sport can increase your confidence

• What's helped Ilona become more confident

• How dating has been for Ilona

• How to get past hangover anxiety

• Dispelling the stigma of being 200 pounds

• Stereotypes vs the actual Rugby culture

• Working through the fear of being "too much"

• Ask Away: How to make friends with coworkers when you work remotely

"What's helped me to get confidence is having a purpose or something to do with my body to show what it's capable of and appreciate it." - Ilona Maher

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Kristina's weekly obsession: Fenty Beauty Heat Lipgloss

• Raeann's weekly obsession: Dior Lip Glow in Mahogany

• Follow Ilona on Tik Tok and Instagram

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!

In 2019, Raeann and Kristina were approached by Nike to lead a group for a half marathon with the Confident Collective community. They trained for months just to have the race canceled weeks before due to COVID. Since then, Raeann has thought about completing her goal of running a half marathon to challenge her own perception of what a runner looks like and what her body can do. In this episode, Raeann shares her biggest takeaways from the experience, what she gained and her advice for anyone thinking about tackling a big goal. We also discuss tips for future half marathon runners, and how to prepare.

If we stop putting ourselves in a box, we can do so much more than we think we can. - Raeann Langas

What we talk about:

• Challenges of finding size inclusive brands and options while shopping

• Collaborating with brands that are not size inclusive

• How Raeann and Kristina initially got interested in training for a half marathon

• The mental side of training for a marathon

• Why Raeann's trainer decided to run it with her

• What the experience showed her

• Raeann's pace and its spiritual meaning

• How to start planning to run a race

• What to wear, bring and tips to prepare for the race

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Check out Kristin'a's Amazon Favorites

• Nike Run Club App for training

• Running Gear

  • Top

  • Bra

  • Shorts

  • Shoes: Go to a running store and have an assessment done to see what is best for you! Raeann went to Road Runner.

  • Socks

  • Fanny pack

  • Gummies

  • Hat

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!

Have you ever needed to have a difficult conversation with a friend but didn't know how or where to start? Do you want to improve your relationship with your bestie or low-key have some things to work through? If you want to know more about evaluating friendships and how to be a good friend, today's episode is for you! We also talk a lot about being in different phases of life, which is common in our age group, and super hard to navigate. We are very excited for you to hear this episode and hope it helps strengthen or salvage the important friendships in your life.

"FRIENDSHIPS DON'T TYPICALLY END IN A BIG DRAMA, IT'S OFTEN NOT LIKE ONE BIG STAB WOUND IT'S DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS." - ERIN FALCONER

What we talk about:

• Rae spills some tea about an old flame

• Why you need to prioritize time with friends

• Tips for balancing work life, social life and home life

• Navigating relationships with friends who have kids

• Normalizing having different friends for different types of connections and interests

• Work friends don't have to be transactional

• The importance of a diverse friend group with people who are different from you

• What to do if you feel like a friendship has run its course

• How to support healthy friendship dynamics

"YOU WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS WITH THE SAME CORE VALUES BUT THAT HAVE A DIFFERENT LIFE EXPERIENCE. THEY'RE BRINGING SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE OR CURIOUS… BECAUSE FRIENDSHIPS HAVE THE ABILITY TO UNLOCK DIFFERENT PARTS OF YOURSELF." - ERIN FALCONER

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Follow Erin on Instagram: @erinfalconer

• Check out Erin's book: "How to Break Up with Your Friends"

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!

Let's be real, being the bigger friend in your friend group sucks sometimes: not being able to share clothes, shop at the same stores, and hearing people thinner than you complain about their bodies. We receive messages from listeners all the time requesting advice on how to handle these situations. Raeann and Kristina have both been the bigger friend, in size and height, and know that it can feel alienating. But they've also come a long way in their confidence journeys and have plenty of good advice to share. So, we're talking about how to change your mindset and embrace your height and size in this episode!

"You can't change people's opinions necessarily. If someone thinks you're fat or too tall, they're gonna think that. You have to really work on changing your own perception of yourself." - Kristina

What we talk about:

• How to move past negative comments on social media

• Times in Rae and K's past when they've been uncomfortable in their bodies

• How to change your mindset around your size

• How to handle unwarranted comments from men about your size

• How to be honest about your experience with your friends and help them understand your position

• What helps Raeann and Kristina to feel empowered and proud of their size

• Benefits of choosing clothing that fits and compliments your body

• Ask away: Is it wrong for a married man to go to lunch with a female coworker?

"Fuck yeah, we are tall, gorgeous, Amazonian, bad-ass women. It's all about changing the mindset that we need to take up less space. Own the fact that that is your power. If you are tall and curvy, you are fucking gorgeous, and you have to tell yourself that. And (your mindset) will start to change." - Raeann

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!

Wedding invite says: serve a look. We have a fun wedding-themed episode for you today as wedding szn approaches! Taelor Pawnell aka @stylishsista is your plus-size, creative, Virgo, bridal bestie, sharing tips for plus-size bridal fashion and wedding planning on her social media. Raeann loved following her and was super inspired by her fire Brooklyn Bridge engagement photos so we had to have her on the podcast to hear more!

"There's a lot of hidden costs of being plus-size, and then you add the layer of not having options. I'm very much wanting to do what I want to do and you push me into this box with 5 options to choose from that are standard? No." - Taelor

What we talk about:

• Raeann shares a dating update

• Kristina's wedding dress disaster story

• Process of getting ready for her engagement photos

• How to be confident on camera

• Where Taelor shopped for her "outside of the box" size inclusive outfits

• Taelor's wedding dress shopping experience and advice for plus size brides

• How Taelor found her bridal dress designer

• The toxic weight loss pressure brides feel

• Tips for planning and navigating pre-wedding events

• Ask away: My partner hasn't said "I love you" yet, should I be worried?

"In order to be confident, remember the end goal. It's all about you, this is your thing." - Taelor

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Follow Taelor for more tips: @stylishsista

• Check out Taelor's Stylish Bachelorette Planning Template on Etsy here.

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!

The year's approximately 1998. You get home from school in your Limited Too matching set and immediately pop in Spiceworld: The Movie as you plop down on your blow up couch. A gentle breeze filled with Victoria Secret's Love Spell fills the air. You reapply your Lip Smacker and touch up the row of butterfly clips adorning your head like a crown, admiring the Mary Kate and Ashley poster proudly displayed on the wall. Life is good.

If you haven't guessed it already, this episode is all about '90s-'00s nostalgia. Get to know Kristina and Raeann a little better as they reminisce over their favorite memories and trends from the decade giving us major cultural inspo today.

What we talk about:

• Favorite movies and music

• Childhood memories

• Beauty and fashion trends we loved

• '90s trends we're into and not-so-into currently

• Ask away: advice for navigating plus size travel

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Kristina's '90s Nostalgia Playlist

• Kristina's hair rollers and Celine sneakers

• Raeann's Tower 28 lip jelly in Pistachio

• Follow these accounts for plus size travel information: Kelly @itsmekellieb just started an account called @plussizefriendly, Jeff @chubbydiaries__, and @hellostefanienicole

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!

Today we're talking about lady parts with Dr. Sherry Ross. She is an award winning OBGYN, health expert, author of She-ology and has a segment on Ellentube called "Lady Parts" with Sarah Hyland. Her goal is to give women the means to take charge of their health at every stage of their lives. Today we're asking all of your vagina questions - yes, especially the ones you're too embarrassed to ask yourself (like what condoms to buy, red flag smells, BV, labido, all of the above!). This is the episode you want to share with your friends so we all have access to this important information about our bodies and how we can protect and care for them.

"KNOW WHAT'S NORMAL SO THEN YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT'S ABNORMAL, BECAUSE THERE'S MANY THINGS THAT AFFECT THE PH BALANCE, ODOR AND TASTE OF THE VAGINA." - DR. SHERRY

What we talk about:

• What happened when Raeann made the first move to approach guys in Denver

• Do you still feel like you need your parent's approval even as an adult?

• Which foods influence the smell of your vagina

• The best/safest products for cleaning and moisturizing down there

• Shaving vs waxing vs laser: does it matter?

• Why some women have more UTIs than others

• The 411 on IUDs (and how to make insertion less painful)

• How often you should get a pap smear

• When to start freezing your eggs

• Factors that affect labido and how to increase yours

• Why you should use condoms for oral sex and every time

• Why a "clean" STD test still isn't enough to avoid condoms

• Ask away: how do I get over someone who just broke my heart?

"MEN TEND TO HAVE AN ORGASM WITHIN 3-5 MINUTES. WOMEN, WE'RE 13-20, SO IF THE AVERAGE FOREPLAY IS WITHIN 13 MINUTES, WHICH IT USUALLY IS, THEN WE'RE OUT OF LUCK. IF YOU THINK ABOUT THE MOST COMMON REASON WOMEN ARE DRY, IT'S BECAUSE WE AREN'T GIVEN THE TIME WE NEED TO GET OUR ENGINES REVVED." - DR. SHERRY

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Products by Dr. Sherry: URJA Intimates, a clean beauty skin care line for the vulva and vagina, and she-ology sexual wellness products for women and men

• Episode 46 with Your Breakup Bestie

• Follow on instagram @drsherryr

• UTI Help: these probiotics, boric acid orally.

• "Affordable" egg freezing with kindbody

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!

Here's what happened. A few months ago, Raeann's friend told her about this app. It's called feeld, and it focuses on establishing connections based on your sexual desires in the "spirit of openness and experimentation." Because she's someone who approaches things with an open and curious mindset, she downloaded it and made a profile. Find out in this episode how she ended up having "a more positive experience" than other dating apps, got out of her comfort zone, and learned how to be up front with her expectations sooner in her dating life. P.S. This one might make you blush.

"I've been thinking about sober dating, as in not drinking on the first date. I think what is happening is that I'm getting drunk on the first date, which is fun. But then I've got the drunk goggles on, which is why I'm so obsessed with them at first." - Raeann

What we talk about:

• A pattern Raeann has noticed in her dating life

• What Kristina's loving about rediscovering play through motherhood

• How Rae's views on sex have evolved over time

• Raeann reads examples of different types of profiles on the app and her own profile

• What has happened on dates with men she met on the app

• What she has learned about her own sexual desires and needs before having sex through this experience

• Ask away: Am I rude AF to my significant other?

"What I've learned is that they might be on to something with having these conversations earlier on. It does tell you a lot about a person outside of even sexual things: how they can communicate, how open they are, how they are able to compromise. It's just wild to have these conversations I'd never traditionally have on the first date." - Raeann

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Check out the app: feeld

• Kristina's obsessed with: Farmacy Beauty green clean cleansing balm

• Raeann's obsessed with: bikinis from Montce Swim

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!

Raquel is a therapist, educator, sex worker, podcaster who teaches you everything from giving a good blow job to overcoming sexual trauma. Raquel joins us to talk about how to have more confidence in the bedroom. We tackle how to set boundaries, speak up for yourself, know your inherent worth outside of what men think, overcoming insecurities by understanding fat phobia, the difference between feeling sexy versus sexual, how finding your own identity separate from your partner can spice up sex, how our upbringing affects how we view sex and so much more. Raquel truly gives incredible, accessible advice that will help you feel empowered and relieve the pressure we as women put on ourselves.

"The beginning place for people who are struggling with how they feel about their body and wanting to work through that is first naming and learning about fat phobia: how it shows up in our culture, in your family, in our culture and how you've internalized it. It's damn near impossible to move through anything with your body if you're not recognizing the system which informs it." - Raquel Savage

What we talk about:

• The importance of surrounding yourself with people who you relate to when it comes to building body confidence and unlearning societal programming

• How detrimental it is to relate our value to how attractive we are to men

• Educating yourself on fat phobia

• Importance of setting boundaries and speaking up for yourself with your partners when talking about STIs or wearing a condom

• How finding your own identity separate from your partner can spice up sex

• Ask away: What to say to a friend when they are fat shaming themselves

"I'm not even aiming to be sexy anymore. I'm aiming to be alive, and to move my body and to smell good, and to eat things that make me feel really divine, and to do things with my body that make me feel joy." - Raquel Savage

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Raeann's obsessed with this book: "Everything I Know About Love" by Dolly Alderton

• Kristina's obsessed with these Abercrombie Jeans

• Follow Raquel on Instagram @raquelsavage or Twitter @raquel_savage

• Raquel's website

• Raquel's Patreon

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!

Kristina has been with Steve for 11 years, and has learned a lot throughout their relationship. From being 22 dealing with insecurities to moving across the country to start a new life together and then starting a family, Kristina has valuable insight to share about how to have a happy, long-lasting relationship.

It's important to remember that no one's relationship is perfect and not to compare yourself or your relationship to anyone else's (even Kristina and Steve's.) We hope this information gives you a new perspective on what you should look for in a partner and what to prioritize in a relationship for it to be the most healthy, loving and fulfilling it can be. At the very least, we hope you feel seen, understood and less alone with the challenges and learnings within your relationship.

"A guy who cares about you is not trying to put you through the ringer, he's not trying to play games, he's going to make the effort. He's going to text you and thank you for a good night out. You shouldn't have to guess if someone's into you and if you're questioning it, he's probably not." - Kristina

What Kristina talks about:

• How to know if a guy is really into you

• What not to do in relationships/a hurdle they had to overcome in the beginning

• What's truly important in a relationship

• How having kids affects a relationship

• Being intentional with who you talk to about your relationship

• Advice for dealing with extended family dynamics

• Dangers of unrealistic expectations and comparison

• Not being thrown off by different seasons and phases of your relationship

• Ask away segment: How to tell a friend they're not in your wedding

"Sometimes seasons of sadness or anger feel so much longer than seasons of happiness and excitement. It's important to reflect on your relationship as a whole, and not let those frustrating moments be bigger than they are or overshadow all the beautiful moments you have together." - Kristina

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

• Our podcast episode about Human Design with Erin Claire Jones

• Check out hanifa, a black female owned size inclusive clothing brand

• Checkered rings from Rellery

• Follow us on Instagram: @confidentcollective

• Follow the Hosts/Founders: @kristinazias & @raeannlangas

• Learn more: https://www.theconfidentcollective.com/

• Stay in the know with our newsletter!