Want to deal with homeschool mom frustration? I share 5 ways to move into personal growth and away from frustration and overwhelm.

Does homeschool mom frustration resonate with you?

Before I share the 5 approaches to embracing frustration & overwhelm to choose growth as a homeschool mom, I want to ask you five questions. So grab your journal!

How do you typically handle feelings of frustration and overwhelm in your homeschool journey?

Are you breaking down your homeschool mom goals into manageable steps to address that frustration and overwhelm?

How often do you practice self-compassionate self-talk, such as using morning affirmations, expressing gratitude, and reframing negative thoughts?

Are you willing to let go of educational approaches or activities that aren’t working for your child or you, even though on paper (or on someone’s Instagram feed), they look amazing?

What specific ways do you celebrate small wins and achievements in your homeschooling journey?

Mom has begun to recognize that despite shifting from one homeschool method to another (both of those methods are beautiful in theory, of course), the method isn’t working for her or for all of her kids.

When trying to homeschool a handful of kids, she tries to cluster her efforts, of course.

…because you will have moments where you discover the most beautiful learning idea ever, the most interesting approach to learning yet, a delightful resource, or a gorgeous readaloud you HAVE to read with the kids, then of course, bring that beautiful plan to your homeschool kids.

But recognize that when your plan isn’t hitting the right chords with your kids, and they’re shifting in their seats, or complaining incessantly, you might need to reassess your intentions. Sometimes we need to learn to flow at the rhythm of our kids and recognize that our well-intentioned plans don’t have to be enacted.

What might be other reasons you’re frustrated or overwhelmed?

Recognize that feelings of frustration and overwhelm are natural responses when stepping into a new homeschooling journey or when things don’t feel like they’re happening the way they should be. Consider these emotions as signals to take a step back, reevaluate your approach, and make necessary adjustments.

I suggest feeling into them. Not running away from them. Not numbing yourself. But ask yourself where you’re feeling and what you’re feeling.

Ask them. But not in the moment. Learn from the ongoing narrative. What are their feelings? What are their needs?

Your relationship is directly impacting their ability to engage you academically. Gordon Neufeld explains it this way: “Again, we begin with the basics: we collect the child first in order to be able to work from within the relationship. It is very much like the mother goose with goslings; getting the offspring into line before bringing the behavior into line.“

We are telling ourselves stories all the time. Dr. Daniel Amen, author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, first introduced me to a series of questions that help put all uncomfortable feelings in perspective.

I’m going to surprise you here because I’m going to say YES if you don’t do something different. Because just like fleece picks up every last strand of cat or dog fur, you are going to pick up on every last moment of experience of overwhelm and frustration until you determine to “Do BETTER, or do differently”. So if you want to turn things around, you’re going to have to do something different.

We need to view our emotions as signals for reflection and adjustment.

Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, break down your goals into smaller, manageable steps. This approach not only makes the process less overwhelming but also allows for a clearer focus toward incremental progress.

a. What experience do you want to tackle?

b. Who are the main characters in that scenario?

c. What are the repeat stories around that scenario?

d. In what ways could you tackle that challenge differently?

e. Do you need to learn to practice a pause, find someone to talk to, leave the house for separate space each day, or use your journal every morning as an accountability partner?

Breaking down homeschooling goals into smaller, manageable steps helps reduce overwhelm and provides a clearer focus on making gradual progress.

If you want to learn how to create happiness in our homeschools.

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend. Once upon a time, I met myself in a mirror. Remember that growth comes from facing difficulties and learning from them.

a. Self-awareness strategies. Journaling, mirror work, mindful moments, meditation, prayer, and knowing where the emotions are in your body.

b. Create a support network. Friends on text, talk to an objective bystander who doesn’t have any skin in the game (that could be me) or join me in the Homeschool Mom Room.

c. Practic self-compassionate talk. AKA homeschool mama daily affirmations, gratitude, mirror work, and reframing. ps I created a Self-Compassion for Homeschool Mamas course so you can learn new tools to include in your wellness routine.

d. Ask yourself if you’re addressing your real needs. Because if you’re not, of course, you’re going to be overwhelmed and frustrated. You have to create routines to do it more than once, but rather, routinely. Your real needs need to be addressed as often as the kids ask for snacks.

e. Assess your homeschool expectations, your routine, your kids, and yourself.

Embrace the idea that growth and adapting are at the heart of the mothering journey.

Flexibility is key, and though it is, by far, my least strong character trait, flexibility allows us to pivot when things don’t go as planned and when we need to discover creative solutions that suit our child’s unique needs.

a. Stop doing something if it isn’t working. Be a learner. (You’ll be happier when you do. Like creating margins around your time. Remember that I shared about how I engage my time, without enough margin? When I put a hard stop on my time, clarifying when I needed to BE in the car, I recognized that I had a peaceful trip to town, no one was frustrated with me, and I could enjoy that extra time in the car chit chatting with my teen (fyi the car transport thing is a lotta work, but it’s also a great place to have chit chats with the kids).

b. Remember that doing things that are hard can benefit you and grow you.

c. Build a predictable routine, but know that it won’t always happen.

d. The benefit of just 15 minutes: create emotional bandwidth for you each day, do something you love each day, just 15 minutes.

e. Different kids, different methodology: they’re not the same, so don’t treat them the same. Lean into child-led learning.

f. Remember to notice the kid in front of you. Collaborate: ask them.

h. Assess your expectations regularly. So schedule that time in your daytimer.

Cultivating flexibility in motherhood means embracing change, adapting to your child’s needs, and regularly reassessing your expectations.

Instead of fixating on what might not be going perfectly, celebrate the small wins and progress you and your children are making. Every breakthrough, no matter how modest, is a step toward growth and a testament to your dedication.

Join me in the Patreon Homeschool Mama Support Group & drop in weekly to the Homeschool Mom Room to discuss all these things.

This can be a self-coaching workbook can be a self-coaching tool to help you discover the barriers getting in the way of your satisfying homeschool life, create a plan to address your relationships, needs & homeschools, and thereby, shift your homeschool experience.

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post Unshackle Homeschool Mom Frustration: Unleash for Growth in 5 Ways appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

When I asked a homeschool mom to tell me about herself, she shared her roles with me: mom, sister, wife, daughter, friend. But what was her homeschool mom personal vision?

(ps If you think you’re the one I’m speaking about, I’m probably not, because there is more than one of you speaking to me about this. Girlfriend, this is a common refrain).

Before I share how to create a personal vision for homeschool mom, for you, I want to ask you five questions. So grab your journal!

So what do your boundaries look like & what signs or situations trigger your awareness of these boundary challenges?

What are some self-care activities or rituals you’ve found to rejuvenate you or are essential for maintaining your well-being?

What methods or techniques have you discovered for creating or safeguarding pockets of alone time in your demanding life?

Reflecting on your community and connection opportunities, how has connecting with other homeschool moms enriched your homeschool journey?

Are you actively exploring and incorporating your strengths, interests, curiosities, and aptitudes into your daily life to offer you a life beyond your mother role?

Recently, like the last couple months, I’ve been transitioning into something different. This “different” is a rite of passage for every mom. 

Just weeks ago, I settled Rachel (our 3rd daughter) into college across the country. Then we prepped Zach for his first year high school. (Zach is the youngest of our four kids.)

A transition into something, but what?

(I could wax and wane about his experience, but I’ll give him time to process, not share his experience without permission, and share mine instead).

One kiddo graduates and that feels monumental. So big. So hard and so sad. Good and so exciting. So different.

But then our high school kids get part-time jobs as well as academics and friends activities and that’s it, they are busy and they are moving like a bullet toward their adult lives. A bullet train into independence.

And I’m back here trying not to insert myself when it’s not invited, and that is so darn hard FYI. Yesterday they needed my hand to cross the street or drive them to work. Or so it feels.

But still, I’m cheering from the sidelines, always available for a phone call at the hard moments, sending “good mornings” by text even though it’s “good afternoon” in their time zones, willing to edit papers, watching them grow up in fits and starts.

I’m not used to as little driving time, fewer kid conflicts, or this much quiet.

I’m over here leaning into weird. Less driving and more wondering what my life will be like after Zach is gone (maybe he’ll be the one who rents the basement suite, a mom has gotta dream). Or at least stay in my time zone.

On this week’s podcast episode, I discuss how to nurture a homeschool mom’s personal vision, because you know what? You’re gonna need one.

ps If you’re really not sure who you are outside your mother role, and you’d like to explore how to lean into the YOU outside your mother role, I’m here.

So how did you answer the question, “What do your boundaries look like & what signs or situations trigger your awareness of these challenges?”

My story? Girlfriend, I learned this discussion of boundaries the good old-fashioned way: pre-2004, I may have heard the word, “boundaries”, but I categorically did not have them.

If you define the word “boundary” as where I end and where you began, I certainly didn’t know boundaries, because my goal was to make YOU happy (even tho I didn’t always, of course, but that was my goal), and approaching life and relationships and myself this way was definitely not honouring me.

Create regular family meetings where everyone has an opportunity to express their thoughts and concerns. (Everyone. Even the almost incoherent members of your family, but most importantly, make sure you share your thoughts and concerns too). I liked having this discussion during morning circle time (when the kids got older, I called it a morning meeting).

The goal? Each family member can share what they’re hoping to do each day and voice any unclear needs or requests. Create a safe and non-judgmental space for open dialogue. Share your expectations and needs. This collaborative approach fosters a sense of ownership and ensures everyone’s voices are heard.

Establish clear and consistent communication channels within your family. Use tools like a shared colour-coded family calendar or a family text thread to keep everyone informed about extracurriculars, driving needs, or activity schedules. This can reduce misunderstandings and conflicts (& remember from last week’s episode, make sure to create margins for all your activities).

It’s easier on your pocketbook to spend money on therapy for you and your partner than it is to afford a divorce. So if you’re in a relationship you want, and your partner is too, but you know you have relationship challenges, there’s no time like the present.

First, you need to know what your boundaries are. Are you wanting boundaries around your homeschool planning time, boundaries around your self-care, or other personal activities? By articulating your needs and boundaries, you empower your family to unconsciously support you and help them optimize their relationships for the future too.

Decide how you want to show up. If you’re challenged with losing your temper when you’re in a particular scenario, or you feel like there is a communication gap between you and a kiddo, set aside time to determine how you’ll engage it. Cause this doesn’t need to be Groundhog Day: these things will happen again. Develop self-awareness activities, like journaling, meditation, or mindfulness to learn more about you, how you prefer to relate, and clarify your intentions towards your child or understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling.

Self-awareness enables you to identify your triggers and emotional responses. By understanding your family members’ personalities, you can anticipate potential conflicts and use strategies to address them constructively, fostering increasing harmony within your homeschool environment. (And if I were to suggest any one book to address your family conflict, it would be Marshall Rosenberg’s, Non-Violent Communication: if a hostage negotiator can help dispel conflict in the Middle East, he can help you too!)

Building boundaries and knowing what you want, gives you the impetus to create space to listen to yourself, and helps you determine how you want to show up in relationships. This is your first step to building your personal vision for your life.

How did you answer the question, “What are some self-care activities or rituals you’ve found to rejuvenate you or are essential for maintaining your well-being?”

Creating space for you, no matter what activity you choose, will give you the emotional and physical bandwidth, and it’ll make you feel fueled and energized to do this homeschool thing.

Girlfriend, there’s a reason you’re listening to a podcast on self-care for homeschool mamas because when I decided to write a book for homeschool moms, I had three options as I saw it: I could write about world schooling (because we did a lot of it), self-directed learning (because I am passionate about it), or self-care (because I learned the good old fashioned way that I needed it).

And I knew from my experience, that me taking care of myself was not my strong point, and it also wasn’t a strong point of many homeschool moms around me.

I learned a whole lot of things the hard way and my story was worth sharing, and offering tools for other homeschool moms would be useful too.

And that’s why I’m still here.

Self-care rituals are essential for recharging your energy and maintaining your well-being as you homeschool.

So how did you answer the question, “What methods or techniques have you discovered for creating or safeguarding pockets of alone time in your demanding life?”

As a new homeschool mama and even a new mama who didn’t homeschool, I was sufficiently overwhelmed as I had a high need for quiet, orderliness, and harmony to feel safe in my internal world. Though my kids weren’t especially loud compared to others, I absorbed their emotional energy as though I were breathing their air, so I needed space away at times.

You too? I feel ya. I want that for you. So how can you find it?

How did you answer the question, “How has connecting with other homeschool moms enriched your homeschool life experience?”

I’ll celebrate everyone along my journey for being uniquely them.

Some women who have shared my journey weren’t homeschool moms, but they were attentive, loving moms, who were trying to understand how to be in their families, learn what their responsibilities were to their children and what they weren’t, and try to find their place in their world outside their mom journey too.

Some women who have shared this homeschool journey were homeschool moms but these women didn’t value the same things I valued, and some women did value some things I valued, BUT all of these women taught me how to be a mother to my kids and how to be a unique woman in my life story.

Recently, when chatting with a homeschool mom in my local community, a mom who has just begun her journey, she shared her intentions for her six-year-old, how she wants to encourage play, and not worry about her son learning to read yet, despite her literature-rich home, despite her curiosity-based family approach; nonetheless, she wasn’t quite sure she was doing right by her kiddo.

On the same day, I had a conversation with two moms about how socially isolating homeschooling can be, for THEM, not for their homeschooled kids, as so many onlookers assume.

I’ve had so many conversations with moms who need support…

Connecting with other homeschooling moms has been instrumental in enhancing a richer, more connected, and emotionally supportive life that helped me on my personal journey.

How did you answer the question, “Are you actively exploring and incorporating your strengths, interests, curiosities, and aptitudes into your daily homeschooling life so you can nurture your personal vision?”

When you were 8, you didn’t have a prescribed schedule on a Saturday afternoon (or at least I imagine you didn’t) and you likely pursued all sorts of interests and curiosities that just felt pleasurable and interesting, for the simple sake of enjoying the thing.

Just like we don’t need to encourage our kids to dive deep into their rabbit holes and encourage our kids to make them their life’s intention: for instance, imagine a mom noticing her kid loves making slime and then determining that her child must spend the next eighty years making and selling slime. If your child doesn’t have to make slime because they were interested at eight, then you don’t have to make a passing interest your life’s purpose either.

Just do it because you enjoy it. (Side Note: In my experience, you don’t want to make slime near a sink, it will clog your sink).

By incorporating boundaries, self-care, self-awareness, connecting with others, and pursuing your strengths and interests, you can create a homeschool mom personal vision that nurtures both you and your homeschooling journey.

So pardon me, but I’m off to a quiet lunch with my husband, a vigorous jump on the trampoline in the great outdoors (because I like doing that still) and an afternoon of creative writing (because I love it!)

NURTURING YOU: A Digital Workbook for Homeschool Moms | Instant Download

Rediscover yourself beyond homeschooling with this 14-page guide. Packed with exercises for creativity, self-awareness, and personal growth — perfect for busy moms looking for balance and “me time.”

I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post 5 Creative Ways to Design a Homeschool Mom Personal Vision appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

Before I share the 4 ways child-led learning benefits the homeschool kiddo (& therefore, also you), I want to ask you three questions.

Once upon a time, I was super frustrated with how my homeschool was going. I had a lot to accomplish on my to-do list, and my children’s complaining, bickering, agitation, and fidgetiness were getting in my way of accomplishing my amazing plans for them!

C’mon kids, I’ve got three hour-long readalouds for you today, we’ve got an 8-3 day planned, science experiments, history lessons, spelling and grammar, and Latin and French (and so much more, I KID you not!) plus piano, voice, horseback riding, and violin.

It’s time to do school! And my 8, 6, 3-year-old, and 8-month-old followed me into the designated homeschool room space. (Okay, the 8-month-old was probably military crawling, or I was carrying him in).

They all came. Begrudgingly.

With complaining, bickering, agitation, and fidgetiness.

So THAT ended after 3-4 years. (Which, according to many of my veteran homeschool peers is WAYYYY longer than most parents hold out! You’re welcome, Universe, I can be willful.)

You know those moments when your child’s eyes light up with curiosity? That is a spark waiting to ignite! We’ve all been there, trying to finish a lesson or read aloud, or helping a kiddo finally figure out how to spell a word, or finally figuring out how to multiply fractions, hoping they’ll absorb it like sponges so we can finally move on.  But guess what? Most learning doesn’t happen that way.  When kids are genuinely interested, their minds become sponges all on their own. Child-led learning taps into their natural curiosity and engages them in a way that no traditional learning approach can.  (Even with my most academic kiddos, if my kids aren’t curious or engaged, they’re not learning. 

But if they are curious and engaged, watch out, because they can learn (almost) anything they want to).

Whether it’s British history, zoology, or underwater creatures, their passions hold the key to a world of learning. 

Think about it: British history can inspire literature, writing, and even math lessons.

Zoology can lead to vocabulary-building and science experiments. One year, one of my girls used Titanic history as a lighthouse to everything she did. (Lighthouse, get it? Okay, that might not be funny). 

Some kids love hands-on experiences, while others thrive in more structured environments. By getting to know your child’s learning preferences, you can tailor your approach to suit them best.  It’s all about embracing strengths and getting out of their way so they can learn the way that works for them. (Not coincidentally, when I’m playing games, everyone (except my youngest) knows that I can’t be “told the directions” to a game. I just don’t learn that way! But show me during the game, and I’m golden. Well, mostly.)

Embrace Minecraft, Lego, and making mud patties in the backyard. Discover how watching a YouTube video or exploring the outdoors can be just as educational as any workbook.  Learning isn’t confined to traditional learning methods; it’s a dynamic process that happens everywhere and in unexpected ways. Seriously, just watch each of your kids this week, write everything they do in a notebook (don’t let them know you’re doing it, and don’t record the things you’re prescribing) and you’ll discover that they ARE learning so much of their lives).

Embrace unschooling practices that allow your child’s interests to guide their education, whether you sign up for unschooling or not. 

(FYI I firmly believe you shouldn’t ascribe to a particular method; rather, you should ascribe to your child–oh, and by the way, you can keep your homeschool method, but just use it as a tool, not a raison d’etre.)

“Children do not need to be made to learn about the world or shown how. They want to learn, and they know how.”

(Also, it is SO much easier when you do it!)

So are you ready to reimagine your homeschool adventure: to lean into child-led learning and watch your children’s curiosity flourish, their interests ignite, and their enjoyment of learning deepen?

If you’d like to join me in the Reimagine Your Homeschool Life group coaching program, you’ll do a deep dive on how to practically lean into child-led learning in your homeschool, no matter what method you generally aspire to.

Introducing the Reimagine Your Homeschool Workbook! Reflect on the past year, assess what worked and what didn’t, and build the homeschool you truly want. Evaluate curriculum, routine, philosophy, and plan for the future. Get renewed inspiration and fresh ideas.

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post Child-Led Learning Benefits Your Kids (& You) Will Love appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.