Here’s actually how Kristen Neff informs my homeschool as I learn to incorporate self-compassion for homeschool moms.

I often share with homeschool mamas that if they’re particularly heated with their kids, they should head to the bathroom mirror.

See that sad, exasperated, angry face?

So, you might say:

What you wouldn’t say is this:

Nope, words you’d never utter to a friend.

(FYI we all speak more harshly to ourselves than we do to others, but we should practice not doing it.)

How do you want to speak to your friends?

I came by this practice on a day when I couldn’t access my husband by text. (Because I would have waxed and waned, complained and bellyached as though it were therapeutic).

So what did I do?

I tried to text my good friend too.

But she wasn’t available either.

What to do??

Who was I going to talk with?

Myself. In the mirror.

And when I’m calm?

I can decide how to intentionally respond to my anger/anxiety/sadness/other intense emotion AND head back to my homeschooled kiddos and engage intentionally.

Say whaaa? We’re supposed to feel our suffering, our pain, our shadow sides?

(Why would I assume that? Because a discussion on self-compassion means you need to have self-compassion for your discomfort/challenge/pain/suffering.)

We’re humans.

Humans have suffering, pain, discomfort, and challenges.

As we embrace our negative feelings, they feel heard and seen, and honoured.

And that’s all that negative feelings need: an ear, a validation that they exist, an honouring of the person behind those negative feelings.

Accepting negative feelings enables us to be fully human.

If there is anything I’ve learned from my own suffering, it is that I can’t pretend the suffering isn’t there.

When I do, I don’t acknowledge my deep needs and I don’t create a construct for addressing that pain.

And when I do, when I acknowledge them, see them, witness them, they feel seen and heard. This is self-compassion for homeschool mom.

**Watch Vicki Tillman & I discuss Self-Compassion practices for homeschool mamas.

This concept was revolutionary for me personally, and in how I approached my homeschooled kids.

I remember listening to Dr. Daniel Amen speaking about A.N.T.S. (which he referred to automatic negative thoughts).

We all have negative thoughts.

But we get to decide what to do with them.

Mind blown.

No they are not.

Just like clouds in the sky pass through the sky, your thoughts and feelings pass through you too.

Clouds are not sky.

Not sure.

But I do know how challenging it is to let them go and not allow them to stick like Velcro.

And the magic potion that helps me be anti-Velcro with my thougths?

You don’t have to train to be a Buddhist monk or Yogi to practice meditation and mindfulness.

Simply sit.

Just sit.

Take a deep breath in. Stare at a spot on the wall. Allow yourself to sit there for a moment and focus on that spot.

Okay, another deep breath.

Take another deep breath.

Imagine what might be beyond your peripheral vision (you’ve probably sat in this room before, so you know, but just imagine, don’t look, continue staring at the spot).

Take another deep breath.

Take another deep breath.

Okay, how do you feel?

That is a meditative practice (amongst many others).

How do you feel?

Present, you were present.

Once upon a time, I didn’t want to ever feel pain again.

(This is a true story from my life. Is it the first line of one of your stories too?)

As proof to my story, I started a blog called Capturing the Charmed Life (you’re reading it right now).

Why title a website that name?

Naturally, I ignored multiple purple elephants in the room, and I tried very hard to pretend I didn’t see them.

Subsequently, I’ve learned, there is no way to live a charmed life continuously. Life won’t allow for utopia.

What is alchemy?

Paulo Coelho writes in his novel The Alchemist, “Each thing has to transform itself into something better,  and acquire a new destiny.”

There’s no direct attempt at changing them as we observe and accept them.

We can’t make ourselves not feel our big emotions.

But we can change the way we relate to those big emotions.

We can use mindfulness to become more self-aware and, therefore, create a distance between our big emotions and ourselves.

In an article by Tara Bennett-Goleman, a psychotherapist and the author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Alchemy, we are reminded, “The warmth of sunlight dissolving the moisture of clouds—nature’s alchemy—echoes the warm fire of mindfulness melting the emotional clouds uncovering our inner nature. The effects of such periods of insightful clarity may be fleeting and momentary, lasting only until the next emotional cloud forms. But rekindling this awareness again and again—bringing it to bear on these inner clouds, letting it penetrate and dissolve the haze in our minds—is the heart of mindfulness practice, a practice we can learn to sustain.

In a sense, our darker moments and most upsetting feelings are an opportunity for spiritual growth and uncovering our natural wisdom, for waking up—if we choose to use them that way.

If so, our deepest insights can emerge from working directly—with awareness—with our own difficulties (a self-compassion for homeschool moms practice).

A strong emotional obsession or pattern is like the scene in “The Wizard of Oz” where Dorothy and her companions finally get to Oz.

The Wizard is this powerful, looming presence that terrifies them—until the little dog, Toto calmly goes over and pulls back the curtain to reveal an old man who stooped over the controls, manipulating a huge wizard image.

**Learn more about creating mindfulness practices for homeschool moms.

Are you a homeschool mom navigating the ups and downs of daily life with your kids? Introducing the Homeschool Mama’s Toolbox—a powerful resource to help you manage big emotions like anger, guilt, or overwhelm with clarity and intention.

This journal features guided prompts, mindfulness practices, and Dr. Amen’s three questions for self-reflection, all designed to encourage emotional awareness and purposeful living. You’ll also find a Thought Care Checklist and daily meditation practices to help you handle challenging situations and sharpen your mental tools for a more balanced homeschool journey.

Start your journey to emotional well-being today with this empowering journal created specifically for homeschool moms. Enhance your homeschool experience and show up with purpose for yourself and your family.

…how our favourite authors inform our homeschools…

Join monthly to engage in book club discussions from important influencers that can shift how we show up in our homeschools & lives.

Read the book in advance, or don’t.

And engage in authentic, vulnerable conversations that provide community & connection too.

“My homeschooling journey has included a growing pile of books that I have read, browsed, or barely got past the first chapter. This book is just delightful and a gem! It’s not only helpful and inspiring but also funny. The author is like that no-nonsense brave friend who is looking out for you and your well-being as a homeschooling mama. We all need that friend and I am taking my time as I work my way through the chapters and enjoying it all. I love the section on overcoming overwhelm, grappling with perfectionism, and minding and working through our emotions. This book is worth its weight in gold. Find a quiet place to read, bring a warm cup of tea, and enjoy!”

–Sonia in S. Jersey

You’ll see the zoom link in your email the morning of your Book Club. Make sure your email provider hasn’t thrown it into Junk Mail.

You can find all the books from our Book Club in the Capturing the Charmed Life Amazon Book Shop. When you purchase here, you support me!

The nominal $5 purchase enables the Zoom group platform. Oh, and time, it costs you time. You’ll have to find a quiet hour and a half away from the kids and responsibilities to spend time on YOU!

Usually about an hour and a half.

Absolutely! I’ll share my insights from the book and how they apply to our homeschools, but the best part of this book club? You sharing your thoughts and how it applies to your homeschool. If you have thoughts, insights, or questions, we want to hear them.

Join the Book Club!

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post 5 Ways We Can Include Self-Compassion for Homeschool Moms appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

So how does Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart influence my homeschool?

Maybe, in theory, you could have asked me then what I did for myself.

But this act of regular Starbucksing was keeping my head above water.

Surviving. Not thriving.

 To form meaningful connections with others, we must first connect with ourselves, but to do either, we must first establish a common understanding of the language of emotion and human experience. 

We need to know what we actually feel.

We can spend our lives disconnected from what we really feel but still instinctively and defensively react to those feelings, because we always respond to our feelings, intentionally or unintentionally.

We become kind to ourselves. And therefore, naturally respond kindly to others too.

Like it or not, being a human means we feel all the feels.

Those feelings set a soundtrack to our life experiences.

You can read (or listen) more about Big Emotions for the homeschool Mama here:

“The near enemy of love is attachment. Attachment masquerades as love. It says, “I will love this person (because I need something from them).” Or, “I’ll love you if you’ll love me back. I’ll love you, but only if you will be the way I want.” This isn’t the fullness of love. Instead there is attachment—there is clinging and fear. True love allows, honors, and appreciates; attachment grasps, demands, needs, and aims to possess.”

But we can also attach ourselves to someone because we feel too insecure without them.

We feel unsafe, and insecure without them.

Sometimes it’s hard to see which is the baseline for that relationship: healthy attachment or unhealthy attachment.

We can spend years in a relationship not realizing that we’re relating unhealthily together.

I discuss different relationship challenges in each of these Homeschool Mama Self-Care Podcasts:

“I am responsible for holding you accountable in a respectful and productive way. I’m not responsible for your emotional reaction to that accountability”

We know they won’t benefit in their relationships or their futures if they show up as they are.

And yet, we can’t make them change their behaviour.

(Oh, we will surely try at times, because we’re homeschool mamas and we know that we’re imprinting them, influencing them, coaching them, and we deeply care.)

When we are reactive towards their behaviour, we set up a dynamic of power challenges and increased reactivity.

That dynamic never feels good.

(It also doesn’t help our child(ren) learn what they need to learn).

Until the boundary is familiar.

Their emotional reaction to that boundary is their choice.

I can choose to be angry or sad or unhappy or shamed or distracted or confused by their reaction, but I also can choose not to be.

It’s my choice.

Whatever their feeling may be does not mean I am responsible to attend to their feeling.

“In fact, research shows that the process of labeling emotional experience is related to greater emotion regulation and psychosocial well-being.”

(I assume that something shifts in our brains as we practice self-awareness, but that is just my first thought).

With or without research, I have seen it in myself and I’ve seen it in others, that when I identify how I feel, identify how my body feels, and am able to succinctly describe my feelings with clarity, I feel less overwhelmed by those feelings.

I’ve also learned that those intense feelings don’t last. They always pass. No matter how intense they may be.

Like clouds in the sky, like a weather system on the weather radar, the intense feelings we experience will pass.

**Brene Brown has a solid discussion on all the different feelings: it could be used as a journaling opportunity each morning to get a little more familiar with yourself.

As she discussed each of the feelings in her book, stop, write the feeling in your journal, and ask yourself when you typically feel that feeling.

Then expand that feeling into a story of the first time you felt that feeling.

Learn more about mindfulness practices for the homeschool mama here.

“When I’m prioritizing being liked over being free, I was much sweeter but less authentic. Now I’m kinder and less judgmental. But also firmer and more solid. Occasionally salty.”

And this “off the beaten path” approach compels us to strengthen the muscle of being different. Which compels us toward independence.

With all these questions, we have to ask ourselves, how are we going to respond to these questions?

And when we do this, we grow in accepting others’ choices for their families and their kids too.

We’ll also grow a whole lot clearer on why we’re doing what we’re doing.

Are you a homeschool mom navigating the ups and downs of daily life with your kids? Introducing the Homeschool Mama’s Toolbox—a powerful resource to help you manage big emotions like anger, guilt, or overwhelm with clarity and intention.

This journal features guided prompts, mindfulness practices, and Dr. Amen’s three questions for self-reflection, all designed to encourage emotional awareness and purposeful living. You’ll also find a Thought Care Checklist and daily meditation practices to help you handle challenging situations and sharpen your mental tools for a more balanced homeschool journey.

Start your journey to emotional well-being today with this empowering journal created specifically for homeschool moms. Enhance your homeschool experience and show up with purpose for yourself and your family.

“When someone shares their hopes and dreams with us, we are witnessing deep courage and vulnerability. Celebrating their successes is easy, but when disappointment happens, it’s an incredible opportunity for meaningful connection.”

I’ve been privileged to connect with real homeschool mamas desiring to show up on purpose in their homeschools and lives.

I’ve been privileged to listen to their hearts…

And I’ve learned that there is nothing more beautiful than listening to their hearts and helping them clarify why they’re doing what they’re doing and growing toward their own freedom and purpose in this life.

In their homeschools and their lives.

You’ll see the zoom link in your email the morning of your Book Club. Make sure your email provider hasn’t thrown it into Junk Mail.

You can find all the books from our Book Club in the Capturing the Charmed Life Amazon Book Shop. When you purchase here, you support me!

The nominal $5 purchase enables the Zoom group platform. Oh, and time, it costs you time. You’ll have to find a quiet hour and a half away from the kids and responsibilities to spend time on YOU!

Usually about an hour and a half.

Absolutely! I’ll share my insights from the book and how they apply to our homeschools, but the best part of this book club? You sharing your thoughts and how it applies to your homeschool. If you have thoughts, insights, or questions, we want to hear them.

Join the Book Club!

I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post How Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart Influences our Homeschools appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

The homeschool help podcast for the homeschool mom is for moms who want to address the most important thing: themselves. Encouraging you to nurture the nurture, you.

Because who you are, how you frame your life, understand your purpose, and how you address your challenges, deeply influence your homeschool kids.

As we anticipate the 2023 new year, we can reenvision our lives so we can align our intentions towards a more purposeful life AND even allow our griefs and losses to integrate to become more than we ever imagined we could be.

“The question is not how to survive, but how to thrive, with passion, compassion, humour and style.”

Oh, I know, we learn from challenges, we are strengthened through challenges, and we are equipped to help others when we have our challenges.

But I’d still delete them from your life.

Since I can’t do that, I’ll help you create strategies instead.

The five strategies…

A post shared by Teresa Wiedrick (@homeschoollifecoach)

Leave a comment below and let me know how I can serve you this year.

If you’re looking for a self-coaching tool to address your big emotions, click here.

When you’re looking for a community of authentic women who want to work towards clarifying their homeschool challenges to enjoy their homeschools more, click here.

On one particular homeschool day, I was especially frustrated.

What could have been frustrating me?

And I really wanted to text my husband.

But since he wasn’t responding to his texts (he happens to work in emerg, so what he was doing was likely more emergent than his wife losing her stuff at home), I had to figure out what else to do!

Call my friend, I thought. Turns out, she was too busy to respond too.

Well, what is a homeschooled mama to do?

Head over to my bathroom mirror and talk to myself.

Weird, but effective.

I just needed someone to witness my frustration and sadness.

So that is what I did.

For me.

Stand in front of the mirror.

See that sad, exasperated, angry face?

Nope, words you’d never utter to a friend.

I came by this strategy on a day when I couldn’t access my husband by text. And not my good friend either.

So, who else was I going to talk with? Myself. In the mirror.

And when I’m calm? I can decide how to intentionally respond to my anger/anxiety/sadness/other intense emotion AND head back to my homeschooled kiddos and engage intentionally.

In this Intensive, you’ll learn more than a few self-compassion techniques.

Are you a homeschool mom navigating the ups and downs of daily life with your kids? Introducing the Homeschool Mama’s Toolbox—a powerful resource to help you manage big emotions like anger, guilt, or overwhelm with clarity and intention.

This journal features guided prompts, mindfulness practices, and Dr. Amen’s three questions for self-reflection, all designed to encourage emotional awareness and purposeful living. You’ll also find a Thought Care Checklist and daily meditation practices to help you handle challenging situations and sharpen your mental tools for a more balanced homeschool journey.

Start your journey to emotional well-being today with this empowering journal created specifically for homeschool moms. Enhance your homeschool experience and show up with purpose for yourself and your family.

I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.