Here is a day in the life of homeschooling…in my home.

I don’t mean the years where half the day is spent finding everything for their backpack, dropping them and their permission forms off at school at 0830, then seeing them again at 3.

You hear the clump clump clump down the stairs guarantees a seven o’clock wake.

The bedroom door creaks open and an expectant ten-year-old and her little brother hold a breakfast tray with an overflowing coffee mug splashing beside the plate of cold toast and a lump of overly sweet jam that was bought for them.

Their smiles beam, your body aches from scanning the Houzz app past midnight, and, oh yeah, and eating the new bag of mini chocolate bars you purchased for Halloween two weeks too early.

“Come for kisses. Thank you for my coffee.”

You kiss your son’s forehead and push back the front patch where he cut a chunk while you were explaining mixed fractions to his older sister.

“Have you done your top five?” you ask like a drill sergeant.

They all know this means their rooms need to be tidied, their hair and teeth brushed, and breakfast was eaten before Duolingo or Minecraft. They have to be dressed too. In real clothes. Not combinations of pajamas or pants from yesterday that were somehow tucked under their covers before bedtime kisses.

Not so much hoping to get someone else into trouble, but rather to get a smile from mom that says, “Thanks for always doing what you’re supposed to.” Of course, Zachary has his ammunition too. “Rachel didn’t really brush her teeth. She just used her finger.”

These mini wars can be overwhelming with their regularity, but with all that parental guidance and relational practice, you will often hear from people outside your family, “Your kids consider one another, help each other, look out for one another. Do they ever fight?” Time for a chuckle.

“Okay, okay,” you gather them, “tattling doesn’t do anything for anyone. Do you want to play a round of rummy while the bread is toasting?”

The dishes are overflowing at the countertop. A dishwasher would be useful for a family of six, but a few more months till the new house is finished. You play a round of rummy till Zach realizes that this game will be cut short if the runs aren’t in the same suit. “How ‘bout gin rummy? All in the same suit?” he asks.

So you switch games until an older sister comes downstairs to ask what the plan for the day is.

So head into your room with a cup of coffee and read an inspiring word or two.

Early on, they won’t believe that a closed door means you’re unavailable. So when they peek their little noses into the doorway, you can ask in your most shocked tone, “Is the house on fire?” They’ll back out of the room. Apparently, the house isn’t on fire. Continue sitting in quiet for ten minutes in your house clothes. It’s not just the homeschooled kiddos that have a hard time getting out of pajamas. Homeschooled mamas have five sets too. Some of them appear to be yoga pants, with loose t-shirts. So when a neighbor shows up unexpectedly, no one will wonder why you’re still not dressed for the day.

You may have changed yesterday morning, but you are dressed.

All four kiddos pile onto the blue tufted sofa. Different heights, and different sizes occupy their space, and maybe even different grades. But officially grades don’t mean anything here. Where the youngest can outplay any of his older sisters in chess. Definitely, where the eldest outstrips her mother in historical accuracy. Where the third daughter can out-answer any of her siblings in mental math.

“Let’s shop for a gymnastics outfit before you go to class today, Rachel.”

Pointing to the twelve-year-old, “You’ll be dropped off at dance at 5.” She nods yes.

Remind everyone, “Anatomy will be finished by 2:30 so you can get ready for town. Everyone bring your history books to read for the drive. Hannah will get to voice by 4. Then the other girls will meet Penny for a playdate at the park. Any questions?”

There’ll be a writing prompt for their journals and a prayer to start the day, then everyone leaves to their own spaces.

The youngest two sit beside you near the fireplace. “How do you spell boat?” the six-year-old asks.

“B-O-A-T, two vowels in the middle — the first one does the talking.” He goes back to writing between the lines and answering what words he hears on the beach, though the beach is ten minutes away, and no one has waded through the water since it cooled a month ago.

Then the ten-year-old bursts, “I can’t do this.” For the third time this week, you’ll tell her “just watch” as you add and subtract mixed fractions. But she doesn’t want to watch. She wants to not do it at all. When you feel like telling her you don’t want to do it today either, you have her pass the book back to you, both of you take a deep breath and show her again, with a picture this time.

“This is a pie. It’s cut in four. There are two slices. This is another pie. It’s cut in two. One slice remains. If you want to subtract one pie from the other, you have to compare them with equal pieces. Are there equal pieces?”

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Finally, she’ll brighten and tell you, “Let me try it,” and she figures it out…for today.

Every study day won’t be this smooth. There will be fights for seats in the minivan. “I was going to sit there.” Someone sits on someone else’s feet. “No, I was going to sit there.” There will be fights of all varieties. And if there are just enough fights, with just enough characters playing their contentious parts, you’ll throw down the gauntlet of vocal projection and yell, “Stop it, just sit down!”

You’ll walk outside to ease your irritated nerves and devise a plan.

Nothing is so important that you must keep going without lunch. Gather the kids for a full stop at lunch o’clock. An hour to eat, chat, wash dishes, or practice piano, while you make a second coffee. Your room is off-limits for a fifteen-minute break — you pull out the tray of hidden Oreos from under your corner chaise and sit with your writing utensils and drift to other places, playing your part in creation.

Apart from your family’s characters, you’ve created your own on the written page too. Mostly they’re in Italy where your character is starting her agriturismo and learning why she is in the world. Sometimes it’s with Robyn as she hopes to fly to freedom, away from her parents’ confusing world, and to her seeming savior, Adam.

Sometimes you’re with your online friends, encouraging them to homeschool with courage, pushing past the culture’s expectations, free of convention, so their families can learn to learn and live unfettered while learning to love each other.

After your coffee siesta, and after the kids burn energy running with the neighbor dogs or make fantasy worlds in the apple orchard, you gather to watch a rap video on cellular mitosis and memorize the bones of the hand.

Or you read the Landmark History book about Civil War and teach how to note take on the reading. You answer their questions and discuss why the war wouldn’t have been called the Civil War at that time.

You get to extend your education too.

After an hour and everyone begins to fidget, that is your sign. Why keep reading or discussing when no one’s brain is in the room?

Left to their own devices, they might play a strategy game, visit a friend, and play loud music in their rooms while decorating their walls with handmade posters.

This quiet time is thinking time, considering time: what do they like? How do they think about the world? What kind of friends do they want to hang with?

Give them time to prepare for the trip to town. Not enough time means scrambling and dissension. Remind them to grab their history books. They’ll go into their imaginary historical worlds, while you plug in those earbuds and tap on a podcast (encouragements from Empowering Parents or energize through Brendon’s Charged Life, learn cooking skills from the Splendid Table, or technology education design from TED talks).

You’re not just dropping kids to their playdates and extracurricular activities.

This is your chance to connect too.

There are stories in every person you meet. New things to be learned in the most unexpected connections.

New people are new places to visit, minus the expensive plane flight.

When you get home, teach them to cook.

If you dare, leave them in the kitchen and walk away. Stay, and you’ll be telling them, “No, not that way,” or “That’s too much baking powder,” or “Can you do this without making a huge mess?” You, mom, are no help helping in the kitchen. Give brief instructions, and a list of ingredients, and let them go. Surely you have laundry to do.

Find a cup of tea and back away from the kitchen. 

Beware though, there’ll be a few more dishes.

And stuff found on counter cabinets not there earlier. You’ll marvel at projectile splashes. So teach the kids to wash the dishes. You want to teach your kids how to cooperate anyway. Yes, it’s more time. {It’s definitely more effort}.

When someone doesn’t want to learn to respect others’ boundaries, consequences that are short and sweet will get their attention (eventually). Don’t lecture. They’ll resent you (It’ll just tap you of your happy energy anyway). Short n’ sweet.

After dinner, limit screen time.

Too much will make them edgy and ironically, also more likely to complain of being bored. Use it as seasoning.

But when you need a full break, turn on that television, give them unfettered access to Curiosity Stream or Knowledge Network, and reasonable access to the other stuff. 

Family games: Stratego, chess, Settlers of Catan, star watching, walks in the dark., marshmallow roasts, but always, ALWAYS, a chapter of a book before bedtime.

Occasionally plan for a quiet date night with the husband outside the home: a restaurant that offers an extensive wine list is my ideal place.

You’ll often feel like you’re just not getting enough of it.

So when you get it, leave the kids in safe hands, and pretend you’re not a parent for a few hours.

Bedtime kisses and a bedtime prayer are required, even for you.

You’ve earned those hugs and kisses, those requests for childhood stories, those teary discussions on not being chosen at an audition, or frustrations with a friend. The teenager will choose bedtime for that chat. Find a bedtime song and sing it with all the range of your vocal cords, fearless, for those littles will grow up thinking you have the most beautiful voice in the world.

They’re tucked in their covers, the last of the reading lights are off, and you tiptoe downstairs, to sit, kerplunk, on a chair in the corner.

You’ll gladly accept the husband’s offering of a gin and tonic, or a glass of Malbec, ponder over the uncertainties, share the irritations, and encourage each other to see what perfection already resides in your perfectly imperfect home.

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post A Day in the Life of Homeschooling: 18 Years with my Kids appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

So, let’s consider what an education is anyway? Let’s unveil education insights.

A post shared by Teresa Wiedrick (@homeschoollifecoach)

I tried many methods:

So what brought me toward a more self-directed/unschooled approach wasn’t just reading on unschooling (John Taylor-Gatto & John Holt) but actually OBSERVING my kids.

Very quickly, I learned that curiosity and imagination were the fuel for real education.

A concept or experience that helps to serve a specific person to develop and become an adult that can participate in their community and offer the world something meaningful from themselves.

Therefore, soon into homeschooling, I learned that if they ask questions, I should listen and help them find the resources to answer their questions.

If they’re asking questions, it means they’re thinking. They’re either digesting something that I’m sharing or exploring something they heard about somewhere.

In other words, they’re learning.

ps If you want to explore How to practically deschool your homeschool mindset.

Introducing the Reimagine Your Homeschool Workbook! Reflect on the past year, assess what worked and what didn’t, and build the homeschool you truly want. Evaluate curriculum, routine, philosophy, and plan for the future. Get renewed inspiration and fresh ideas.

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post Unveil Education Insights: Your Guide to Homeschooling Success appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

As my children’s continual companion, prime educational adviser, social organizer, and interpersonal counselor (besides all the typical parenting stuff like making sure there’s food on the table, house cleaning, laundry, and prepping for extracurricular activities), how do I peacefully parent and ensure time for myself?

These questions are often the most pressing for homeschoolers who have been doing this lifestyle for more than a year or so, but the first two questions, socialization and academics, usually get the most interest and attention.

I’ve heard repeatedly from non-homeschooled people that homeschooled kids are different (much to the chagrin of most homeschooled kids).

Funny that when my kids were in school, complete strangers didn’t ask about my children’s socialization or make comments on how my children were different then. Yet at the core: all kids are different.

Curiously, homeschoolers are actually remarkably non-homogenous (just like their schooled counterparts). So lumping us all together into one giant group won’t accurately reflect us.

When you think homeschooler, you might imagine Amish folk surrounded with thirteen kiddos, milking the cows in the morning and doing their sums on tree stumps in the afternoon sun, but in the homeschooling world, diversity exists too. (Though I know that family with thirteen kiddos. I know that family who milks cows. And I definitely have seen my kids do arithmetic on tree stumps.)

I know families of eight or ten or thirteen. I also know families of four or two or singletons. I’ve met Muslim families, families that had marijuana grow-ops, families that podcast, families that live in RVs, families that go to church, and families that wouldn’t dare.

Surprise! Everyone is different.

ps Here’s the truth behind homeschool socialization: the truth may surprise you!

In the beginning, I didn’t know this. I expected a homeschool social club where everyone hung out at the same time and same place each day.  And they were like my family.

But we’re ALL different, right? Every family, homeschooled and schooled alike, comes from different homes, has different values, laughs at different things, and works at different things.

The act of doing something not-so-mainstream, like homeschooling, does indeed make us different though. (So different that we get plenty of time to think about why we’re different, why we’re doing what we’re doing, and if it’s worth all the effort swimming upstream).

This is probably why our children look different:

Our family was not aspiring to be different. We were just honouring the differentness that we know we are and BEING it. We just wanted to homeschool for freedom: freedom to personalize our kids’ education, freedom to create our own social community, freedom to create our own schedule and to travel too. But get asked often enough, and you too will recognize that people see you as different.

Actually we kind of like it. It’s interesting when everyone is different.

How am I going to learn more about the world if we don’t talk about the things that make us different?

Be you! The world is better for us all when we are just being ourselves. 

Be it Muslim or Christian, Shambalah Buddhist or Hindu, most of us, minus an occasional psychopath, aspire to teach our kids to be kind to one another (arguably, the most important lesson in socialization).

Social opportunities aren’t the same as socialization.

Attending youth groups and religious observances, sports activities, art and music lessons, birthday parties and Christmas socials, summer camps and family BBQs, visits at the lake with friends, and vacations and trips around the world—these are social opportunities. Our homeschooled kids get plenty of ’em. In fact, they get more because they usually have more time in the day to attend them.

That schooled six hours a day, five days a week, nine months a year, class of twenty-five? There’s no magic sauce in teaching kids socialization there. 

Learning to be productive citizens of their society, charitable and community-focussed, we help to tailor an education that enables our children to be who they were meant to become and contribute meaningfully.

By far, the most difficult aspect of socialization is teaching our children, not by the words we use, the consequences we respond with when we’re trying to teach them to do things differently, or deciding how to help them learn kindness, but rather recognizing that they’re not taught by our words, but lessons and attitudes caught by our lives.

By far the toughest work of home educating our children is understanding how intricately we affect their souls with the stories of our lives and the attitude of our hearts. It also happens to be one of the most compelling reasons to home educate: to imprint on our children the stories of our lives. Whatever work we put into their little lives, we will surely reap!

(But food for thought: why isn’t anyone asking about homeschool mama’s socialization?? That might be more concerning, don’t you think?)

Introducing the Homeschool Mama Retreat: an oasis for overwhelmed homeschool moms longing for clarity, confidence, and rejuvenation. Designed for those seeking to break free from doubt, perfectionism, and monotony, this retreat offers a transformative experience to refresh, renew, and reimagine your homeschool mom life.

Join me on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we:

Release Your (Unhelpful) Homeschool Mindsets: Overcome doubts, redefine your purpose, and gain confidence as a homeschooler.

Renew Your Homeschool (& Life) Vision: Craft a vision that aligns with your values and aspirations, breathing new life into your homeschooling journey.

Recognize (& Plan For) Your Big Emotions: Tackle common challenges like overwhelm and perfectionism with practical strategies and support.

Reimagine How You Want to Show Up in Your Homeschool (& Life): Rediscover yourself beyond your homeschool identity and prioritize your well-being.

Renovate Your Self-Care Strategies: Develop nurturing routines, prioritize your health, and cultivate mindfulness for a balanced life.

Celebrate Your Ordinary Miracles: Embrace your journey with gratitude and find inspiration in the everyday moments of motherhood.

Join the ranks of empowered homeschool moms who have found solace, support, and renewed purpose in our retreat:

“An oasis for overwhelmed moms…a transformative experience!” – Cheryl, Homeschool Mama of 4

“Refreshed, renewed, and ready to tackle homeschooling with confidence!” – Carla, Unschool Mama of 1

“Rediscover the joy and purpose in your homeschool journey!” – Britt, Homeschool Mama of 3

Ready to reclaim your joy, purpose, and sanity in your homeschool mom life? Begin your retreat journey today.

I help dissatisfied homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

The post What about homeschool socialization? appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

Pat Fenner helps moms find meaning and purpose in their post-homeschooling stage of life through her signature course, The Empty Homeschool Nest Blueprint.

“When you don’t have another identity,

your homeschool mom identity

becomes your ONLY identity.”

Build Boundaries in Your Homeschool (& Life) Journaling Workbook

Ready to homeschool with purpose and confidence? This workbook guides you through setting boundaries that bring clarity, reduce overwhelm, and align your homeschool with your authentic self. Discover how to reclaim your time, improve relationships, and confidently advocate for yourself—creating a life and homeschool that truly reflects your values. Filled with journaling prompts and practical exercises, this workbook empowers you to establish boundaries that nurture both your family’s needs and your own well-being.

I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post Exploring Your Identity with Pat Fenner appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

So how do I devote myself to live our homeschool life on purpose?

Then there is that one day, when that one thing happens, where we can no longer deny what we’ve been told: that our days are numbered.

“I would like to rise and go

Where the golden apples grow.”

Perfection isn’t ours to capture, so we’ll never be mistake-absent. We can bestow grace on those that need our grace, and even more challenging, extend it to ourselves.

This is not gonna happen every moment if you have dishes to wash, again, or more than one child learning peace-making skills, or you wake up with a crick in your neck. Not EVERY moment is good, but this is the moment we have, so enjoy it.

Teach people how to treat you. You are NOT going to care what everyone thinks—that’s a sign of a sociopathic diagnosis. However, you were born to care, commune, and connect. But there is caring about others and caring too much.

If you think you can’t do what you want to do, you won’t. You’ll overlook opportunities staring right at you. There are seven billion people on this planet, and not everyone can own the biggest house on the block, fly their private jet, graduate medical school, mediate the middle east, have their name in lights, or travel the world, but we all can do the thing inside us that we are meant to do.

Sit with your people and commune. The people in our neighbourhoods, our churches, our kids’ dance classes, and the lady teaching piano–these are our communities. Learn from them, share with them and share what you know; be present. And do the things you want to do. Though it’s awful hard to change some circumstances, keep moving towards occupying every day with the things you want to do.

6. Address the overwhelm.

7. Simplify: look at why it’s complicated.

8. Ask why you’re not present. Is there too much going on up there?

9. Ask yourself how you can show up more on purpose than you have been already.

There was this teenage bucket list dream I had, volunteering in Africa.

Hard to imagine that it actually came true. I checked that dream off the list, but that dream didn’t live up to its romantic notions.

Amped up on antimalarials and stomach-protectant Dukoral, I was vaccinated against nearly everything, we flew eighteen hours (in four planes) with four children over five days and drove three hours crammed in the back of an ambulance up 6000 feet into the Great Rift Valley where we were introduced to water shortages, rice and beans, and irregular electricity.

It was a challenging trip, except on the way home where we luxuriated in a four-star Parisian hotel.

I wrote: “It was a bittersweet goodbye to Africa. It’s like the moment when you know you’re finished having children, you can’t imagine not carrying another baby, not holding another newly birthed baby in your arms…you want to know that you can have that experience again, but then, really, no, actually you don’t want to do that again”.

“Look closely at the present you are constructing.

It should look like the future you are dreaming of”.

Alice Walker

Introducing the Daily Homeschool Mama Journal, your perfect companion to build time for yourself! With daily journal questions, weekly planner, and self-care activities, enhance your self-awareness and explore your identity while taking care of yourself. Start practicing self-awareness today!

I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.

Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The post Homeschool Mama, Are you Living a Life Worth Living? appeared first on Capturing the Charmed Life.

Sarah Scott and I discuss how changing your perspective shifts your homeschool.

“Stop being responsible for your kids’ happiness. But don’t make them miserable either. Change your mindset from your kids are driving you crazy, to your kids are struggling.”

This can be a self-coaching workbook can be a self-coaching tool to help you discover the barriers getting in the way of your satisfying homeschool life, create a plan to address your relationships, needs & homeschools, and thereby, shift your homeschool experience.