Connected Teamwork Podcast

Support & UpliftAppreciating others is the oxygen for relationship and performance. “I have some feedback for you.” When we hear this, we tend to have some anxiety. That’s why letting people know that we value them, that we have their back, is so important, especially when giving feedback. It reminds people that they are valued and have something to contribute. Even the hardest feedback needs to be given from an atmosphere of appreciation: I see your higher intelligence, potential, purpose and needs, and I want to help you realize more of it. When was the last time you appreciated someone else? Giving appreciation lights up energy in both the give and receiver. As the Buddha said: “If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.”

Team CQ Practice #11Give Your Best & Be Resourceful

What do you do when you are overwhelmed? First look at yourself. What is the story you are telling yourself? Is this true? Also ask yourself, what is a rubber ball and what is a glass one? Which todo’s I can play with and which ones are non-negotiables for today? Challenge three foundational myths that block resourcefulness: 1. You are the only one experiencing this. Very unlikely, you are part of a collective of people who each have their own experience of this challenge. 2. You have solve this alone. Also untrue. Ask for help, and at a minimum ask yourself: how would someone I admire approach this? Borrow a piece of their wisdom. 3. You have to solve this now. Very few things are so urgent that we can’t let them breathe a bit. In addition, keep your focus on your sphere of care: what do the people you are called to serve need? Who are they? Maybe it is your family, your boss, your client, your friend. Make a list. Then keep sensing into how to best be of service them. And don’t forget to include yourself on that list.

Reach Out Often

Team CQ Practice #10Offer and ask for help purposefully. Work together for a shared vision. Follow through. Asking for help requires vulnerability. We need to be able to admit where we need help. And sometimes we ask for help because we want to create team energy toward a shared purpose. We give others an opportunity to be of service when we ask for help. Since asking for help is not something most do easily, it requires practice. It helps to set up an advisory board of people you trust. Let them know you will ask for help and get their permission to do so, so it becomes easier to reach out when you are in a pinch.  And offer help. Ask: how are you? What do you need? Reaching out reduces stress and increases team performance.

Connected Teamwork Work Practice #9:

Create & Maintain Balcony Perspective

Connect before sharing context and content. Keep your eyes on a clear, higher goal. In the grip of thesurvival brain, it can be easy to lose sight of the bigger picture of theconversation. Enter the need to go on the balcony. Take a deep breath and askyourself and possibly the other person a balcony question, for example: can yousay more about that? What is most important to you about this? What would youlike to see happen? Be willing to be vulnerable and say: I need to think aboutthis for a moment. Situations in the office are rarely life and death. If youdon't think you have time to take a breath and look at the bigger perspective,it's probably your survival brain talking to you. WATCH: Walk above the clouds,humbly.

Make Amends Promptly: Own your action, recognize impact, offer reparation. Do it for integrity.

“I am sorry” is a little sentence that can make a big difference. We hesitate to say it because our ego wants us to be perfect and doesn’t want to give other people reasons to judge and dislike us. Making a quality amend is an act of truth. We do it because deep down we know we harmed ourselves and/or others and we feel called to restore balance. Beware of hiding behind “I am sorry.” These can’t just be words. A true amend includes a real change in behavior and, in many cases, offering some kind of reparation to the other person. Remember that the person you probably first need to make amends to is yourself. Offer reparations to yourself by being kind and compassionate.

Listen deeply. Create Dialogue. Conflict is confluence. Deep listening is an act of leadership and it magnetizes both the listener and the speaker. We learn to listen deeply to what is underneath our surface thinking and feeling and access a deeper truth together when joined together in a space of listening. Listening is also an act of courage. It requires us to not react, force solutions and be the hero. It requires us to be humble and stay open even when the other person is presenting us with an opinion that is very different from ours. We tend to reach our point of “I can’ listen any more.” Staying open then helps to connect at a deeper level. We all want to be heard. What would happen if you became a really great listener for someone who needs it today?

Walk in Their Shoes

Everyone you meet is facing a hard battle somewhere. In conflict? Reflect on the other person with empathy on what may be happening for them. What are their fears? Their anxieties? When you can sit together in the storm, you will walk in the sunlight. Have the courage to open up to the other person, even if it feels uncomfortable. Don’t fall into the trap of judgment. Instead of giving into condemnation, have a conversation. The extent of your judgement is paradoxically also a measure of how much you care. You wouldn’t have any opinion about the other person if you didn’t care about them and the issue you are facing together. Let go of the judgment. Be curious about what they are really about and how you can be of service.

Team CQ Practice #5: Be Humble

Judgment is part of being human. Yet it is the number one obstacle to relationships and teamwork. Humility is the core antidote. Do we know for sure what we are thinking and believing about the other person? Who would we be without this judgment? We become curious about the other and realize that they are so much more than their opinions and our judgments about them. In judgment, we confuse our thinking about the person with who they actually are. Have the courage to sit with a person you have judgment about. Let go of the need to relieve them of what you may believe to be the misery of their opinion. Let go of the need to fix the relationship by having them see it your way. Instead sit with them, hear what they are saying and what they need. Commit to sitting with them, also when you have strongly different views. Your relationship is much bigger than your thoughts about the other person.

Be Where Your Feet are

Team Connectedness Practice #4: Be Present and Authentic. Stay in the moment. Shareyour truth honestly, respectfully and purposefully. We create fertile groundfor real connectedness, by choosing to be present, no matter what. Being inthis moment may feel like we are shrinking our bubble. The noise dissipates,even if it’s still noisy around us. The truth of the moment comes into view.Authenticity is natural outflow from presence. On a scale from 1-10, howpresent are you now? Do you dare to be with everything and everyone now?Authenticity includes listening to others and expressing with equal strength.Presence may not be our habit. Is it worth the effort to become more present,even if your mind wants to distract you? You decide.

Pause. Let Go & Welcome Deeper Wisdom.