Contrivance

Capitalism infects-- er, supports every aspect of society these days, including our precious internet! In honor of this week's amazing guests, Sarah and Talon from Craigsistential Crisis, we window-shop for a Craigslist competitor.

Join us for a thorough browbeating of Aunt Donna, why Canada is better than the US, and the Notification Apocalypse.

Timestamps:

• 00:24 - Intro, Invention Q&A
• 02:11 - Trash Begets Trash 1
• 12:33 - Trash Begets Trash 2
• 20:07 - Trash Begets Trash 3 (ft. Craigsistential Crisis)
• 46:14 - Untitled Segment
• 52:22 - Drew's Snack Corner
• 54:28 - Wrap-Up

This week's trash:

• Facebook Marketplace
• Kijiji
• Happn

If it's something that everyone needs to do, then there's almost certainly wacky things to "help" you do it, and sleep is no exception. Do not operate heavy machinery while listening to this week's sleepy episode.

Join Britt and Drew on an exploration of flowery CBD, HAZMAT sleeping bags, and trying to figure out why white cheddar flavors are always better than regular cheddar.

Timestamps:

• 00:24 - Intro, Invention Q&A
• 06:50 - Trash Begets Trash 1
• 15:54 - Trash Begets Trash 2
• 27:19 - Untitled Segment
• 33:26 - Drew's Snack Corner
• 41:27 - Wrap-Up

This week's trash:

• Social CBD's Relax Lavender CBD Vape Pen
• Sanitizing Sleep Cocoon

Other delightful things:

• Ska Tune Network
• Zenni Optical

Britt co-produces and plays in a D&D podcast! Check it out, and peep all the cool companion material at playersguildpod.com

What marvels has modern technology brought to healthcare? Prosthetic limbs! Pacemakers! EEGs! Yeah, we're not talking about any of those today.

Join Britt and Drew for a surgical exploration of...magnets and butt cameras? No insurance required.

00:69 - Intro, Invention Q&A 08:20 - Trash Begets Trash 1 23:05 - Trash Begets Trash 2 32:10 - Untitled Segment 37:13 - Drew's Snack Corner 40:15 - Wrap-Up

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Inventions:

1. 3D Cell Culturing via Magnetic Levitation 2. The Mermaid - Self-Propelled Remote Controlled Endoscopic Pill

Go listen to hilarious friends of the show, Talon & Sarah! And check out their live show on 3/26!

Copied from their episode description:

What's the worst thing you could overhear in a Golden Corral? Get ready because you're about to hear it! RE: bad flirting, worse mix CDs, and fast & furious style action!

We know this is a silly comedy show, but we can't be silent about the anti-Asian hate crimes that are occurring across our country, most recently in Atlanta. We want to bring your attention to a few organizations that are committed to fighting anti-Asian descrimination who you can donate to right now.

https://www.advancingjustice-atlanta.org/donate

https://www.napawf.org/donate

Craigsistential Crisis LIVE! March 26th, 7:30 PM

Twitch.tv/kickstandcomedy

As always, you can check out our instagram @craigsistentialcrisis for visual components, more missed connections, polls, and other goodies! Send your missed connections to [email protected].

CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of violence

Online dating is tricky. How tricky? Well, not quite as tricky as rocking a rhyme, but when the field is crowded with ghosts, clowns, and Oscar Mayer meat byproducts, it's not easy. Join Britt and Drew for a candlelit dinner with some of the internet's most...interesting dating sites.

00:43 - Intro, Invention Q&A 05:37 - Trash Begets Trash 1 22:15 - Trash Begets Trash 2 36:26 - Untitled Segment 41:16 - Drew's Snack Corner 46:19 - Wrap-Up

TBT Stuff:

1.) ghostsingles.com / furrymate.com / uncrate.com/sizzl 2.) clowndating.com

Beauty is only skin deep, but it's also in the eye of the beholder, and it's also truth, I guess? But most importantly, people have sought beauty for a long time, and have done unspeakable things to themselves for it. So unspeakable that we will now talk about them for an hour.

This week's special guest is Grim, host of Grim Yells At a Cloud! Check it out here.

00:47 - Intro, Invention Q&A 09:10 - Trash Begets Trash 1 18:45 - Trash Begets Trash 2 28:36 - Trash Begets Trash 3 48:05 - Untitled Segment 53:22 - Drew's Snack Corner 55:48 - Wrap-Up

Grim's Twitter

Clown egg display case (tag urself) Native Glare Palette from Blended Girl Cosmetics

Do you really want to hurt someone, and/or make them cry? Are you tired of week after week of inventions WITHOUT poison accessories and incendiary bats? Well, we'd tell you that this is the episode for you, but frankly, we're a little worried. Consider talking to someone about your feelings.

This week's special guest is podcaster and long-time supporter Kelvin, aka TheNoodleDoodler! Check out his D&D podcast "Saga" here.

00:44 - Intro, Invention Q&A 05:18 - Trash Begets Trash 1 17:21 - Trash Begets Trash 2 35:16 - Trash Begets Trash 3 45:01 - Untitled Segment 48:36 - Drew's Snack Corner 55:29 - Wrap-Up

Delegated II Conspire

Did you know that money can be exchanged not just for goods, but for services? The internet has many fanciful ways for you to sink money into intangible things, and this week we'll help you purchase the best lies, moms, and wedding guests the web has to offer.

This week's special guest is Lydia Manning from the podcast Spec Script! Check it out here.

00:54 - Intro, Invention Q&A 07:36 - Trash Begets Trash 1 27:33 - Trash Begets Trash 2 38:23 - Trash Begets Trash 3 52:30 - Untitled Segment 58:38 - Drew's Snack Corner 1:01:54 - Wrap-Up

Homebrew

Hair today, gone tomorrow! Hmm. Maybe "not a hair in the world"? Hair apparent? Well, you get it. It's the hair accessories episode.

Join Britt and Drew as they locks-on to some classic '90s hairaphernalia in Trash Begets Trash, the most adorable Untitled Segment to date, and a strangely aggressive Drew's Snack Corner.

00:49 - Intro, Invention Q&A 13:00 - Trash Begets Trash 1 24:55 - Trash Begets Trash 2 33:02 - Untitled Segment 42:10 - Drew's Snack Corner 45:00 - Wrap-Up

The Two Talking Cats