Are we loyal friends and family members? Is Ethan the perfect American? In this episode, we explore the depths of our loyalty to others, ourselves, and our countries. Other topics include problematic protagonists, the pervasive propaganda of Libby's Pumpkin Pie Mix, and how it's easier to unlock a door than pull it off its hinges.

The great forest is dying and with it the barbarian Ulvson clan. The decline began with the emergence of the hideous boar faces and their mysterious leader, the Light Eater. To save his people, Torv sets out to destroy the bringer of the Black Night.

What drives fear into the hearts of the Cool Story Guys? In this episode, we discuss the tangible and existential dreads that haunt our everyday existence. Other topics include Jeff's general inability to listen to good advice, the impending emergence of the Shrimp Summoner, and an introduction to the physically, emotionally, and temporally separated "Distant Ethan."

Desperate for supplies, Ja and Kaia venture beneath the vine-covered ruins and find that not everything among the countless scattered bones is dead.

After forcing our protagonists to traverse through a vicious jungle, we discuss whether either of us has what it takes to survive in dire situations. Other topics include how it feels to write gross things, whether or not parents form strong bonds with their children, and all the nasty things Ethan thought about including in his chapter but decided against.

Ja and Kaia wrestle with new fears and old traumas as they traverse the inhospitable jungle outside of the compound. Unequipped to protect themselves in the wild, the two are forced to cling to any semblance of safety they can find.

As the story starts to take shape, we explore the different ways that Jeff's spicy Turkish vacation influenced the first chapter. Other topics include a cursory look at a random assortment of new and old things, Ethan’s deep desire to add dinosaurs to anything and everything, and a few too many references to a book that a lot of people haven't read.

Raised inside a brutal prison compound and subjected to supernatural rituals, Ja has little hope for the future. When a woman named Kaia is exiled to the compound from the community, she teaches Ja about the outside world, and the two form an alliance to keep each other safe.

A new season means a brand new story! In this introductory episode, we roll the dice to learn what kind of story we get to tell. Spoiler alert: this new story isn't going to be anything like the last one. Other topics include not getting frustrated when we can't compete with top-tier art, a dog-minus-whale reality that is just begging to be explored, and how everyone is tired of fantasy stories set in the Middle Ages.

Elden Ring is one of the most exciting things to happen to video games in years and we are smitten. Ethan is a veteran of the Dark Souls games and Jeff is new to the series, but we've both been deeply enjoying our time getting killed over and over and over in the lands between. We talk about the sprawling story (which is supposedly co-created by one of the biggest names in fantasy literature), the dauntingly steep learning curve, and what the game means to those who hold fantasy adventure near and dear.