Corks In Cowtown

We missed y’all and decided we’d take it easy on the cocktails this round, and just go HAM on coffee instead. Make sense right? Talk Derby to Me was AWESOME! Thank y’all so much for continuously showing up and supporting the podcast. Now, what shall we plan next…

Monica and I reminisce about the absolute menaces we used to be. And decided we should still consult legal counsel before sharing all the details. Have you ever witnessed a turkey contemplating life choices? I’m ready for brunch with an alien, I hope they like champagne. We talk about a trip we took to New Orleans and how we’ve never had our egos stroked more. And what does a toilet seat have to do with it? I had a matrix moment and am still VERY confused about what happened. 

In other news, we want to share a fundraiser that is coming up Tuesday, June 4th at Marty B’s. “Battle for Bobbitt” will be hosted by the Flower Mound Firefighters Association in support of James Bobbitt, who has been a member of the department for almost 20 years. For the past several months James has been battling stage 4 Esophageal Cancer. Each ticket includes your meal and a drink. We hope to see you. 

Well, it’s been awhile. 

When we last left our scallywags they were preparing for brunch in December that left them feeling like they were beat with a bottle of champagne. Monica’s husband won’t stop reminding us we are aging. The Yule log forever has our hearts. And we used to REALLY embarrass our friends as kids before we knew what being PC was. What would you do for a prime parking spot? Oh yeah we go on a brief tangent about perspective and using your voice. The world is a wild place. Are we starting a revolution? Is Tik Tok? Honestly our brains stop working mid episode. Did Helen Keller exist? And was the moon landing fake? We are BIG hot dog fans, but little dogs need love too. Monica’s name for children has me ready to pass away. Did ya’ll know I was single for 10 years? Oh yeah, I have a boyfriend. And all I do is cry now. We have a lot to catch up on ya’ll!

Talk Derby To Me is THIS Saturday, May 4th. Haven’t bought tickets yet? Send me a DM and I’ll make you a deal!

Well ya’ll, it’s the last episode of the year. Don’t worry Monica and I want to go out with a bang. Did you know Big Red cures hangovers? Daddy Paul joins us for Tik Tok trends, and we are ready to sell our gum. We test our knowledge of white rappers, and let’s just say it’s not great. Martinis & Mistletoe is this Sunday, December 10th and I’m beyond excited to do brunch with some of my favorites, and new friends. Oh yeah and my birthday is Saturday! Will kids ever listen? And are Monica’s girls following her strange behaviors? We introduce a fun new game called, “Worst Case Scenario” and I share possibly the strangest conspiracy theory ever. Revenge and vindication come when you least expect it if you sit back and wait. And after a year of not dating, online dating is STILL not it. What’s your serial killer trait? Ready for not your normal ice breakers? Black Friday shopping isn’t the same anymore, and somehow Monica’s family didn’t know she was weird. It’s tough to have a juicy booty, but someone’s gotta do it. Need a new way to say no, we got you.

Most importantly, Thank You. I love this little podcast and I love how it’s brought so many people into my life and taught me so much along the way. I appreciate every listen, every share, every message. I promise I’ll keep growing and evolving alongside y’all and we’ll experience this thing called life together.

This is the second to last episode of the year and I keep forgetting to upload it so I apologize. It’s busy season y’all. Monica and I dive into our old lunch adventures which include me screaming, and why miso makes us laugh so hard. Our obsession with Blue Sushi’s ice cream balls will never be upstaged, and urban bow hunting…Should we share the illegal things we did over 10 years ago? I mean y’all know I’m honest about my mistakes and I’ve made some big ones. Hooters pitchers of beer encouraged Monica to try dip, and I’m not talking spinach and artichoke. What is the key to winning rock paper scissors? Also, what snacks would you grab on the way out, if you robbed a gas station? Or do ya’ll not think about these things?

Well my head hurts and apparently I take pills funny according to Monica and Daddy Paul. I’m still obsessed with Costco and we pay tribute to Costco hotdogs. Do you think they have a scent you can buy? The dollar menu no longer exists, and Dollar General may have to rebrand. Do chickens have lips? I went trick or treating with Monica and her girls and we found a booze map! Our post trek meal was interesting. Cheese and potatoes make us happy, but Monica has beef with Parmesan. What do cats and twitter have to do with making us laugh so hard? Who is keeping insanely niche creatives in business? My insane dreams have returned, and I learn that Monica and hospitals don’t mix.

Martinis + Mistletoe is officially SOLD OUT! I cannot say thank you enough for all of you who purchased tickets, I’m so excited to see everyone and meet so many of you as well! Hurry up December 10th!

Welp, Daddy Paul is upset with me and I don’t know if he’ll ever recover. The cut was deep, and now all I can do is publicly apologize. But anyways, we’re back and on our bullshit. Or maybe not. Because I cannot get it together lately. We talk Polly Pockets, and other small things to choke on. I’m Costco’s newest fan, however I’ll be avoiding banana nut bread for awhile. What does Brian McKnight have to do with this episode? Have you ever had to get naked in front of a stranger? AKA a doctor. Paul ruins my punch lines as a form of protest, and we talk first time with steroids, and Michelin star restaurants. Again, I don’t know how we got here.

Oh yeah, and I’m hosting a ladies brunch at Fitzgeralds on Sunday, December 10th! You gotta listen for the details obviously, but sexy Santa and his friends will be there, plus it’s the day after my birthday and I want to celebrate with the girls!

I knew I had to do something unique for this Halloween, and when I heard about Death Cafes, my interest was peaked. I don’t know if it’s just part of growing older or my life experiences, but death is something I think about often. Not in a morbid way, well, maybe to some. But why don’t we talk about it more. Is it because of the extreme emotions that come along with it? Is it because we don’t talk about it enough, it becomes uncomfortable? I sat down with Lacy from The Art of Dying Fort Worth and we dove right in. The concept of a Death Cafe is genius to me. And you can all put December 14th on the calendar if you’re interested in attending one. I really don’t want to give much away here because this was such and interesting episode that flew by. I had many questions, and still have more and am curious to hear yours as well. Lacy and her business partner Taylor will be coming back in the new year to answer more questions and really deep dive into why a death doula has become a career path for many. Or more so a calling. Death maybe an uncomfortable conversation, but if the world has told us anything in the past few years especially…it’s something we need to be thinking about.

I almost peed my pants recording this episode, so get ready. Monica is back and the Scallywags are in full force. Conversations with my friends rarely leave me speechless but some of the topics brought up have me in utter shock. We're gonna need all the fellas to tune into this one and give some feedback, because we have some serious concerns and questions. About...camels? Does a woman's love of spandex start at childhood? What type of chicken tender would you be? KFC bowls slap, and did ya'll ever know about Ermahgerd Girl? The left lane is for people with ticket money. And who know weird foods would make my DMs go crazy! Gabe Kapler - I'm available to be managed. Shoutout to guys who do leg day and sometimes I have dad jokes.

Well - my new bestie is Elizabeth Dalton from Best Maid pickles and she can't even tell me otherwise. While she may be a Philly girl originally, she's living her BEST life as a Texan. As you'll find out in the episode it wasn't always smooth sailing in Fort Worth, but a chance encounter turned out to be quite a big DILL. Elizabeth has lived about 5 different lives and tells me about all of them! Did I create the first "Best Maid Pickletini" recipe? We'll let you know after having a few more. Since I started learning about gardening - I clearly must learn everything about farming cucumbers. And Elizabeth answers all of my questions with a SMILE. I'll be honest, I've always been a fan of Best Maid pickles, but didn't know much about them. Best Maid has an amazing origin story and Elizabeth shares all of the fun facts! Family means a lot to this company and it shows. 97 years of a pickle dynasty - THAT is a HUGE dill. (I only do pickle puns now - DILL with it) We also talk about fate and timing in life and how somethings don't work out so something better can. Not to mention, kids are brutal. And Elizabeth knows first hand from being a teacher. We run out of time on this one, but I'm gonna make her come back and tell me more juicy stories.

Here's the BEST part: The Best Maid Pickle Emporium is turning 3 and throwing a party for all you pickle pals! So now you know the place to be on October 21st starting at 11am. We drop all the DILL-tails in this episode, but don't worry I'll share them on stories as well. Most importantly, I need you to all go meet my new bestie Elizabeth there and have a cocktail with her!

Monica is back and we're answering questions! How serious is the term best friend? And when is child labor acceptable? My high school drill team had some creative names I share, and Monica tells a story I had no clue about. There's a lot of wheezing. For the OG listeners Miami man made a return, I might need to share that story again. We hate victim mentality, but vent sessions are a must. Are kids master manipulators? Chicken Nugget maybe the name of a child, and we must get to the bottom of it. Bet ya'll never made a boat stop in the middle of the ocean, but we did. Vacations these days include body scrubs, and Monica tries to get me to experience the ring of fire. Why do we wear heels? And did we fall down the stairs at Bar Louie or Petes Piano Bar more? If we could go back in time we decided we'd invest in ourselves more. Plus we let you know Monica's trick for us to not look so much like sisters...