CORN DOWN Prank Calls

On this CORNDOWN, I get wrapped up in big talk about an oil tycoon and backing each other up, which then turns into arguments about what counts as inappropriate, especially when whuppy keeps jumping in to make it worse. From there I spiral into some deer/cat confusion, a litle hat theft, and we try to verify things that probably didn’t need verifying in the first place. There’s also a bit of fingers getting caught where they shouldn’t be and sandwiches wedged into places when wastedmemory shows up in the second half. Toward the end it shifts into car trouble that keeps escalating into fires, while everyone keeps insisting they’ve got my back even as everything falls apart.

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On this CORNDOWN, I get locked in to drive-thru problems that go too far, starting with bathroom questions, fire trucks, and gold burgers, with wastedmemory jumping in for the old people. That turns into burgers that feel wrong in texture, color, and purpose, mixed with trust issues, eye contact that lasts too long, and me taking a dump in room 211. From there it’s mostly cars where they absolutely don’t belong, like inside buildings, rooms, stairwells. Meanwhile whuppy keeps trying to shuffle situations around instead of fixing them. By the end, it’s cleaning products, email knives, Tiff’s bad luck, and a general sense that we need to leave right now. Lemon pledge.

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On this episode of CORNDOWN, I’m pausing orders and looking for warning signs, while whuppy jumps in with his own version of things. That turns into blood on shirts, in cups, in bags, and hotels with whuppy and Tifff adding to the confusion instead of cleaning it up. I’m also dealing with employee problems, strange bathroom details, paw prints, panic buttons, and questions about employee food. By the end, everything feels overhandled and a little gross, like I should’ve just finished my blood cup and left.

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On this CORNDOWN, I start with string but the wheels come off fast and pieces get lost while wastedmemory keeps adding reasons it might be my fault. This includes food getting tied up and layered wrong, especially once ads and bootleg versions get involved. I get stuck on trying to leave places, returning ropes, and dealing with front desk problems that somehow get more cigarettes than answers, with whuppy popping in to make the logic even shakier. It’s goblin bones, marriage proposals with beef, intentional flatulence, and personal leaks, all piling up until it feels like the episode might tip over too.

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On this CORNDOWN, I keep coming back to a ziplock bag that somehow turns into individual nuggets and profits, and wastedmemory jumps in with a lesson on how to talk. That slides into a long stretch about fish and exactly how you’re allowed to kill fish before it becomes a problem, plus buckets, lobsters, and what counts as acceptable handling. From there I get hung up on shady payment issues, homemade cards, bad checks, and the ID requirements of credit cards. By the end, it’s broken windows, stolen badges, and putting a 911 operator on hold.

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On this CORNDOWN, I start with sticky food and an itchy leg that quickly turns into me repeatedly admitting I might have lice. That opens the door to a long run about bugs in hotels, blankets, feet, and personal bugs too, with wastedmemory making it worse by making multiple calls. Things briefly drift into yard tools, magic tricks, and a little dating advice. Later, we’re stuck trying to cough or sneeze, worrying about smells and eye salt/pepper problems, and overthinking basic body issues while whuppy and BeeTeeBeats jump in. By the end, it’s safe hotels, hair removal, and poop-related pillows, all tied together by me insisting it’s probably normal.

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On this CORNDOWN, the first half is all about tires, popping them on purpose, swapping them with a spare, and never being done with it, with wastedmemory making the whole situation worse by adding to it. That eventually leads into food being up in places it shouldn’t be, particularly on faces, stuck whuppuy’s mouths, or causing swelling and bleeding, with whuppy and Tifff jumping in. From there, things turn uncomfortable with missing skin, and people getting stuck in cars or situations they can’t get out of. Toward the end, we’re talking about secondhand food, bad attitudes, and failed weapons checks that feel way too scary for what started as a simple flat tire show.

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On this CORNDOWN, I start with ice and lettuce. With wasted’s help we move to cheese problems that keep getting flipped, melted, or turned inside out. That leads into a run where burgers cause real-world damage such as breaking windows, messing up cars, closing bank accounts, and getting people fired. We keep pushing those ideas until they turn into audits, arguments, and mailing food when it clearly shouldn’t be mailed. Along the way there’s lobby weirdness, stolen beef, strong guys, and a lot of talk about drive-thru speakers that probably shouldn’t be personal, ending with whuppy being very normal.

This show is made possible by donations from listeners like you. If you enjoy what you hear, please consider donating via patreon or paypal!

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On this CORNDOWN, I start on the idea of getting food as a gift, with wastedmemory jumping in transfering his customer status. That leads into sneezing from sandwiches, acting like an idiot, and getting hit with food for acting like an idiot. Things drift into late Christmas and replacement Santas as whuppy and wastedmemory both share different versions of what exactly that means. By the end, we’re deep into carrot deliveries, having them, gifting them, and needing them for unclear reasons—along with some more food gifts and a little shopping cart shocking to round it out.

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On this CORNDOWN, we start with figuring out what actually makes a gift we like, and naturally get stuck on soap and blankets, with wastedmemory complicating it with directions from Tennessee. That turns into me tring to turn myself in for unclear reasons, losing track of where I am, and wondering if elevator shoes can come off. In the middle, we go through roughhousing, hidden gifts, parking lot advantages, and a surprising amount of time spent on soup spoons, relish, and bed-buckets. By the end, we’re talking about holiday figure representation, bathroom math, and whether paying for parking is ever actually worth it, which feels about right for how the episode goes.

This show is made possible by donations from listeners like you. If you enjoy what you hear, please consider donating via patreon or paypal!

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