Courting in Color

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis welcome Damona Hoffman, certified dating coach and host of Dates and Mates podcast. Since last episode, Luis visit Chicago and wondering their role in a social circle, while Chatrice spent the holiday weekend on the lake and received a random text. Damona talks to Chatrice and Luis about a recent message exchange from Chatrice; data trends in dating, realtionships, and divorce rates; representation in dating and relationship help field; and, new dating terms we should be aware of.

Time Stamps

0:20 - Hello and Welcome Back

0:59 - What hosts have been up to

1:59 - Role within a social circle or friend group (Question, what is your role within a friend group?) care taker | social glue | hype woman | logistics

10:13 - Me moment of the week for the hosts

12:22 - Shout Out for the Culture: National Bikini Day (July 5th); Victoria Secret’s plus size inclusivity campaign attempt; slight-ish: Nicole Ritchie

19:52 - Guest intro

21:05 - Welcome Damona Hoffman!

23:56 - Tale of a Tinderoni

25:51 - Drive through the texts to the real in-person interaction

25:59 - “Texing is a necessary part of courtship and that everybody has to do their part for it to work and for you to get to that next step”

27:06 - Putting framework around communication helps move things along

29:11 - “You gotta get off the texts and off the apps to become a real person”

29:58 - Advice for person sending texts that are killing the conversation

31:02 - Avoid the texting trap: acknowledge that you have not been asked anything, “Is there anything you are curious to know about me?” “I feel like i haven’t said anything about myself, don’t you want to know my deep dark secrets” 

33:55 - Pie of how much time and energy you have, dating can take up a big or small part, acknowledge how much you time or energy you have

36:22 - Hot Vax Summer and Data: lot of data said people are looking for a serious relationship, but it is the summer when dating/relationship doesn’t really happen

38:24 - Divorse and separation rates in the next couple of months 

38:55 - Damona predicted there would be higher divorce rates, in Wuhan it was 3x higher than the average; did not happen here in the US, Damona predicts it will happen later this year (summer/fall)

42:53 - Representation in dating and relationship help field

43:37 - Racial preferences in dating, people have been hiding behind racial bias and unwilling to exmaine them

44:00 - Dating industry has enabled people to keep this  racial bias, not examine it, and labelling it as a “dating preference”

48:00 - “Race open” when it comes to dating 

52:41 - Asking Damona Questions from the Courting Cuties 

53:13 - One person wants to meet in person sooner while the other person wants to keep talking and getting to know you you

54:05 - Strict rule: one week from the point of texting to next step like phone call, video date; that person is a time waster, says Damona 

55:15 - Gay hook up apps: can lock things down in 10 messages or less

57:31 - Don’t accept a date/next phase within the same day, or same day dating because it is most likely they are looking for a hook up

58:45 - How to communicate to time wasters about your timeline?

59:04 - You don’t know owe anyone anything, you owe them human decency and some level of communication. You gotta take ownership of getting what you want to

59:35 - Damona advises women she works with to lead the converesation, to send the first message

1:02:15 - Current dating terms we shoud know about

1:02:34 - Zombie-ing: when ghosting comes back from the grave 

1:03:05 - Orbiting: when the person is hanging out, they haven’t made a move, start liking your posts, or keep commenting on your posts

1:04:47 - The impact of social media on dating or hte opportunity with social media and dating

1:08:51 - Cold Girl Fall: when people will really start to date 

Links:

Damona’s Washington Post article on racial bias - https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/date-labdaters-say-they-dont-tolerate-racial-bias-their-actions-say-they-do-have-racial-preferences/2020/06/18/0d1eace4-a039-11ea-9590-1858a893bd59_story.html 

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis talk and review the third season of Shrill (Hulu). Since last time, Luis has developed a cold and recently back from vacation, while Chatrice is waiting on her house to finish and has been watching all the Black content on HBO Max. For the main topic (SPOILER WARNING), our hosts want to talk about mixed messages through the arc of Annie and Nick on “Shrill” in season 3.  What do you make when someone is being flirty, spending a lot of time with you, pay for meals, wanting to keep seeing you, and invite you over late at night? Does that mean someone is into you? Courting Cuties, have you ever mixed up someone’s message or flipside you missed all the messages that they were into you?

Time Stamps

0:30 - Hello, Welcome Back, and Check In

5:56 - Me moments of the week for the week since last episodes

7:45 - Merch idea: “I can only do as much with the time that I have” - Luis

9:12 - Chatrice applied for the “Live Anywhere” Airbnb program!

10:52 - Shout Out for the Culture: Chatrice watches all the Black and POC content including In the Heights, Pause with Sam Jay, Black Lady Sketch Show

11:54 - In the Heights discourse: Afro-Latinx people not present in the move

18:06 - Black TikTokers are on strike using Megan the Stallion’s “Thot Shit”

19:32 - Black queer people at the 2021 BET Awards!

20:56 - Main Topic Section: Mixed Messages or Missed Messages

22:04 - Description of Show

22:54 - Character breakdown 

24:04 - Overall thoughts on the show

26:58 - Chatrice leaning into her identity as a fat Black woman

28:26 - Focus: Annie and Nick’s 4-episode story arc

29:02 - Annie and Nick’s Encounter #1: Nick shows up at Annie’s office, go out for coffee at the park

30:19 - Annie and Nick’s Encounter #1: Reaction

34:40 - Annie and Nick’s Encounter #2: Annie and Nick are eating breakfast

36:20 - If the hosts were Annie, what would they be thinking at this point two encournters in?

36:40 - Is breakfast a date-y meal?

37:35 - “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day but it is the least important meal in dating and relationships” - Luis

38:25 - Annie and Nick’s Encounter #4: Annie posts a thirst trap and Nick falls into you

38:44 - Defining “thirst trap”

40:29 - Annie and Nick’s Encounter #4: Reaction

41:19 - Intimacy of friendships as you have in romantic and sexual relationships

42:11- What are the parameters of booty call hours?

45:22 - Use explicitly of the word “date” or the words “going out”

46:14 - Context of the word “out” referencing “going out”

47:01 - Annie and Nick’s Encounter #5: Nick and Annie hang out, Annie cooks her (what Fran calls) “sex lasagna”

50:26 - Visceral reaction to Nick not being into Annie

50:40 - Keeps you on the roster without commitment

52:22 - Reaction to Annie and Nick’s Encounter #5

56:09 - Time to go back to the social contract and social construct of dating

1:00:04 - Final Question: Is Annie a victim of MIXed message or MISSed messages from Nick?

1:02:18 - Any tips for the Annies and Nicks out there, the ones who are giving and receiving the mixed messages?

1:02:54 - Tip from the Luis Vault: express your interest after the first date

1:05:52 - Chatrice’s advice for the Nicks out there

1:08:28 - Episode ends

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis invite Courting Cutie Rachel to discuss Pride Month, relationship fuzzies, and the term ‘baby gay’. Our hosts discuss Philadelphia travel (including their highs/lows), the travel bug that bit Chatrice again, Luis rants on the current state of the service industry. With Rachel, the discussion revolves around male gaze in relationships, first queer relationship, exploring dating outside of cishet men, and demisexuality. 

If you would like to see Rachel’s section of this week’s episode, you can watch it on Youtube! Visit https://youtu.be/TPRNawOfQpY. The video has closed captions as well!

Time Stamps:

0:00 - Intro

0:19 - Hello and Welcome

0:39 - Catch Up: Recapping Philadelphia Travel

3:58 - Travel bug biting Chatrice again

8:09 - Pay people a liveable wage; frustration at restaurants/service industry

9:05 - Chatrice visits Ishkabibble’s! It’a real place refernced in “Living Single”

11:13 - One ‘me’ moment for our hosts 

13:05 - What is our COVID body, accepting our COVID body as it is  

14:04 - Shout Out for the Culture: Sha’Carri Richardson

18:11 - Guest Cutie: Rachel

18:55: Rachel Introduction’s 

21:09 - Describing the dating scene of where Rachel lives

23:57 - Guest describes current dating/relationship status

25:58 - Discussion of the term ‘baby gay’

26:39 - Who do you date, who do you find attractive, and who did you date in the past?

28:02 - Luis’ discusses how they define demisexuality for them

29:02 - How do you identify across sexuality spectrum

31:28 - Exploring dating outside of cishet men, talking to all gender idenities on Tinder

32:44 - “Yes, I’m straight but I haven’t necessarily tried anything else so I don’t know” Chatrice recalls Rachel saying something akin to this

33:32 - Urban dictionary definition of ‘baby gay’

34:30 - Does Rachel identify as a baby gay?

36:38 - Cultural immersion of ‘baby gay’

37:06 - “You can be queer and not really be in the culture” was something said during a recent conversation Luis and Chatrice were a part of 

39:30 - Love Story recollection

46:36 - Lessons learned in this relationships - lesson learned about the relationships, lessons learned about self

48:11 - Relationship benefit: doubling the wardrobe 

53:04 - Rachel’s coming out story

56:08 - Attending pride festivals

57:25 - Queer Bucket List for 2022

58:14 - Queer representation, visibility; would it have been helpful for queer youths to see queer adults?

58:49 - Feeling a responsibility to be queer and visible

1:01:30 - To Luis: Advice to baby gays, those new to their queer identities 

1:03:00 - Advice: attend a Pride

1:03:36 - New Merch Ideas?

1:03:46 - Advice: Find queer mentors

1:05:08 - The Old Gays - Youtube Channel: https://www.instagram.com/theoldgays/

1:05:40 - ‘Old Gays’ and ‘Baby Gays’ we are using as an endering terms

1:06:55 - Gay fairytale: not meeting someone on the app

1:07:45 - To Rachel: Advice to someone new to their queer identity: (1) dive head first; (2) if someone isn’t into you, they aren’t; (3) dating is dating, talking to someone, hanging out; (4) don’t feel the need to define yourself, if you don’t want to

1:09:08 - Rachel’s sexual orientation is…bad ass!

1:11:01 - Queer or not, dating woes are universal, don’t pile on the pressure, you are getting that from elsewhere

1:12:59 - End of show 

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis continue their discussion of hooking up while on vacation. Our hosts continue the discussion in part 2 working through the rest of the tips from John Chesler’s article of the Phoenix New Times, who wrote “10 Rules for Vacation Hookups. Since last time, Chatrice and Luis went to a Pride Brunch, went to a garden party, and have just come back from an out of town trip. 

Time Stamps

0:00 - Intro

0:19 - Hello and Welcome, Hosts Check In

5:40 - Follow the pod, Chatrice, and Luis on TikTok and Instagram!

12:24 - Selfish moment of the week for the hosts

13:56 - Luis reframing working out as movement 

17:42 - Shout for the Culture

17:49 - One year anniversary of Courting in Color

21:20 - BIPOC and queer graduates of any kind!

22:25 - Holidays: National Best Friend, National Sex Day

24:28 - Topic: Hooking up while on vacation

25:00 - Laurel Miller at Refinery29

25:32 - Word of the Pod: Carpe Dick-em

25:53 - John Chesler, Phoenix New Times, author of “10 Rules for Vacation Hookups”: https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/arts/10-rules-for-vacation-hookups-6567867 

27:28 - Tip #10: Do make use of your amenities

30:30 - How to use the amenities you have available for a hookup

32:26 - If you are travelling with others but don’t have your own hotel room

33:19 - Hoedom Coordinator

33:28 - Tip #9: Don’t get attached

34:03 - Has Luis ever kept the fling going post vacay? Did vacation bae become bae?

37:49 - Question: which hook up situation is preferred, where both are visitors are from out of town or the other person is in their hometown and you are visiting (or vice-versa)?

39:01 - Tip #8: Do be nice

39:44 - Has Luis ever gotten into a fight (non-physical) with a hookup?

41:10 - Limited amount of time, no obligation to spend the night, 1 hour hooks up on vacation are lengthy

42:03 - Chatrice’s hook up at a hotel (pre-hook up practice for vacation hooks ups)

43:51 - How to be safe while hooking up 

47:44 -  Tip #7: Don’t forget where you are.

49:43 - Do hookups only happen in certain cities?

51:01 - Hosts answer: What is the furthest you have travelled for a hookup?

54:01 - In new york and california, if you are too far to hook up, you don’t!

54:36 - Tip #6: Do learn as much as you can abour your partner

55:33 - How much info do you get from a hookup?

57:00 - Not relevant to know your hook up’s occupation or what they do 

1:00:29 - Whatever you ask of the person, you be prepared to answer too

1:01:02 - Tip #5: Don’t pretend to be something you’re not

1:02:01 - Have we ever hooked up with anyone famous?

1:04:29 - Vacation friend flings

1:06:26 - End of Episode

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis have the first part of a conversation around hooking up while on vacation. Our hosts reference John Chesler’s article of the Phoenix New Times, who wrote “10 Rules for Vacation Hookups. They walk through each of the 10 tips to answer questions about how to get laid on vacation, how do you stay safe with hooksups, and how to find someone on vacation. Have you ever hooked up while away from home and on vacation, Cuties? Since recording last time, Luis has been on a work retreat with lots of food and Chatrice has had back-to-back dates (kind of),  hair done, and a slight miscommunication setting up a date. 

Time Stamps

0:00 - Intro

0:19 - Hello and Welcome, Hosts Check In

5:40 - Follow the pod, Chatrice, and Luis on TikTok and Instagram!

12:24 - Selfish moment of the week for the hosts

13:56 - Luis reframing working out as movement 

17:42 - Shout for the Culture

17:49 - One year anniversary of Courting in Color

21:20 - BIPOC and queer graduates of any kind!

22:25 - Holidays: National Best Friend, National Sex Day

24:28 - Topic: Hooking up while on vacation

25:00 - Laurel Miller at Refinery29

25:32 - Word of the Pod: Carpe Dick-em

25:53 - John Chesler, Phoenix New Times, author of “10 Rules for Vacation Hookups”: https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/arts/10-rules-for-vacation-hookups-6567867 

27:28 - Tip #10: Do make use of your amenities

30:30 - How to use the amenities you have available for a hookup

32:26 - If you are travelling with others but don’t have your own hotel room

33:19 - Hoedom Coordinator

33:28 - Tip #9: Don’t get attached

34:03 - Has Luis ever kept the fling going post vacay? Did vacation bae become bae?

37:49 - Question: which hook up situation is preferred, where both are visitors are from out of town or the other person is in their hometown and you are visiting (or vice-versa)?

39:01 - Tip #8: Do be nice

39:44 - Has Luis ever gotten into a fight (non-physical) with a hookup?

41:10 - Limited amount of time, no obligation to spend the night, 1 hour hooks up on vacation are lengthy

42:03 - Chatrice’s hook up at a hotel (pre-hook up practice for vacation hooks ups)

43:51 - How to be safe while hooking up 

47:44 -  Tip #7: Don’t forget where you are.

49:43 - Do hookups only happen in certain cities?

51:01 - Hosts answer: What is the furthest you have travelled for a hookup?

54:01 - In new york and california, if you are too far to hook up, you don’t!

54:36 - Tip #6: Do learn as much as you can abour your partner

55:33 - How much info do you get from a hookup?

57:00 - Not relevant to know your hook up’s occupation or what they do 

1:00:29 - Whatever you ask of the person, you be prepared to answer too

1:01:02 - Tip #5: Don’t pretend to be something you’re not

1:02:01 - Have we ever hooked up with anyone famous?

1:04:29 - Vacation friend flings

1:06:26 - End of Episode

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis talk about the idea of the fear of not being loved. Inspired by a letter sent to ¡Hola Papi! advice column by JP Brammer, our hosts talk about: worthiness of love, asking will anyone ever love me, and your social circle’s impact on your view of the world. Since last time, Luis has been enjoying nature and hiking, while Chatrice has been focused on house rennovation and trying to stay on schedule for it.

Time Stamps

0:00 - Intro

0:19 - Hello and Welcome 

0:31 - Host Check In

5:31 - How do we make time for rest and still accomplish our goals?

6:40 - “No one is going to prioritze me but me. Work is always going to be there” - Chatrice 

10:00 - Shout Out for the Culture: Happy Pride!

12:53 - Tales of Tinderoni

14:11 - Tales of Tinderoni Reaction

25:18 - Main Topic Intro: Will anyone ever love me? from the ¡Hola Papi! advice column by JP Brammer!

27:09 - Letter written to the ¡Hola Papi! advice colum: https://holapapi.substack.com/p/will-anyone-ever-love-me from Unlucky Lesbian

29:17 - Do the hosts relate to the letter?

32:00 - Have hosts asked god/universe, will anyone ever love?

34:05 - Environment being conducive to dating and/or being loved

35:18 - The focus of The Nanny and Fran being married by 30 years old

35:51 - “Gay death”: lives of gay people being “over” by the time you are 30

37:10 - Social circle’s impact on your view of the world

40:32 - Do partnered people connect more with other partner people?

41:08 - JP Brammer’s Response to Unlucky Lesbian

42:15 - Successful in other aspects of my life, why can’t we be success in dating and relationship?

43:01 - Smaller negatives within the bigger positives 

46:05 - Asking Courting Cuties, how long have their relationships have been?

46:52 - Is there an “it” as to why we are not in a relationship?

48:12 - Who are you now is perfect to be in a relationship

48:32 - Luis surprised as to work that continues when you are in a relationship

49:09 - Who you are in this moment is perfect, there will always be continual improvement, there is not on perfect moment to wait to be in a relationship

49:52 - People in a relationship saying to a single person, “Oh, you’ll find someone! It will be okay!”

52:03 - Self-fullfilling prophecy

52:18 - “The adage of, it will be okay you will find someone, removes me as a person who wants to walk this path with you” - Luis

55:40 - Hope and reassurance

56:26 - Making lemonade out of lemons

56:52 - You can manifest something but you have to put the work into it  

57:06 - Conclusion: Takeaways

1:03:17 - End of Episode

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

All Right, Hotties (aka Courting Cuties) Hot Vax Summer is here and we got your tips to make it memorable. Since recording Luis has crossed 1k followers on the food insta and Chatrice has learned 2 new s3x moves! On this week’s episode, our hosts talk about what does hot girl summer mean, when does it start/end, and how to best prepare for this summer. Hot Girl Summer will be a hot vax summer because your body is ready!

Time Stamps

0:20 - Welcome!

1:15 - Catching Up Since Last Episode

10:08 - Word of the Pod: ass-phyxiating (or, assfixiate)

13:39 - Question of the season: what is one “me moment”? How have you been selfish this week?

18:18 - Shout out for the culture: “The Upshaws” and “Master of None” on Netflix; Issa Rae on “Project Greenlight”

21:54 - Topic Intro: Hot Vax Summer

22:37 - Sun’s out, thight’s out

22:52 - Megan Jovon Ruth Pete is Megan the Stallion’s government name

23:09 - Being a hot girl is about being confident and beign you, according to Megan the Stallion

24:00 - What does Hot Girl Summer mean?

24:59 - Queen Mojo reminding us to let our back fat out 

(IG: @_queenmojo)

28:10 - You don’t need to be in the gym to live your best life

28:42 - Outlook on summer 2021 - will this summer live up to the hype? is it the roaring ‘20s?

31:15 - Expectation of summer: finding a joy previously known

31:32 - “Handle me? Who gon’ handle me? Thinking he’s a player? He’s a member on the team.” – Megan Thee Stallion, “Hot Girl Summer” 

36:30 - “We never show up together. But I text him when I’m ready to go” – Megan Thee Stallion, “Big Ole Freak”

36:48 - What is the book end dates for hot girl summer?

38:30 - Juneteenth being a part of the summer holiday schedule

38:40 - Hot Girl Summer Holiday Schedule: Memorial Day, Juneteenth, Summer Solistice, July 4th (a reason to cookout), and Labor Day

39:13 - “Confidence literally starts from yourself. You have to go look in the mirror at yourself. If you don’t like what you see, you’re going to give off that energy.” – Megan Thee Stallion

39:45 - Hot Girl Summer Bootcamp: what do you need to prepare for hot girl summer? 

43:21 - Carrying around vaccine card this summer, could they not have it easier to carry around? 

45:06 - Who is your hot girl summer crew? 

51:30 - D!ck on Deck (DoD)

53:59 - Hot Girl Summer Fund, Hot Girl Summer Mutual Aid

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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cw: PTSD mention

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis discuss the ultimate relationship…friendship! Grab your friends and listen to this episode, Courting Cuties. For their weekly check in Chatrice awaits her contractor and Luis has trouble remembering the weekends (in general). In a Courting in Color first, our hosts quote an old white man. Welcome to the Court, Aristotle! 

Time Stamps:

 0:20 - Welcome

0:34 - Hosts’ Weekly Check-In

0:54 - CW: PTSD  

8:02 - What is one adult thing our hosts have done this week?

8:18 - Luis asks, why do we spend so much time in the kitchen?

11:29 - Daunte Wright’s murder

13:13 - Army Lt. Caron Nazario being pepper-sprayed

16:16 - Prison Culture’s questions to ask when outraged about injustice - Tweet: https://twitter.com/CriticalRace/status/1382125975207616513?s=20

 17:04 Shout Out for the Culture - Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives 

18:10 - Colorism in Fabulous Lives of Bollywood

21:13 - Topic of the Week: Friendship

21:18 - Article: What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?

22:22 - Aristotle’s musings on Friendship

23:06 - Accidental Friendship - Utility

23:24 - Accidnetal Friendship - Pleasure

23:53 - Intentional Friendship - Perfect - mutual appreciation of the virtues the other person holds

24:39 - Perfect friendship further explained

25:26 - Hosts explain their thoughts on friendship concepts of Aristotle 

31:33 - You can’t call someone your friend until you have spent 80 hours

32:02 - Value of salt in salt Christian scripture 

34:24 - Value of salt in Ancient Greece (source: GreekBoston.com)

37:42 - What is the 2021 version of salt? What is some thing you share only with a very close/close friend?

38:23 - What if Nicki Minaj was singing about friends and salt in “Bottoms Up”?

39:06 - Giving your cell phone number, is that a close sign of friendship?

39:30 - Close friends on Instagram is the new MySpace top 8

40:33 - We ask the Courting Cuties: what qualities do you look for in a friend or a friendship?

41:23 - Hosts and what they look for in friends

44:06 - Better discernment of friends than relationships/baes

45:08 - Team #NoNewFriends

49:09 - What is the process of making friends?

52:28 - In the work environment, everyone gets a first coffee date.

57:51 - Identity politics in friendship

58:03 - What people expect out of certain people and certain bodies, cultural understandings of black women as mammys and fat friends as the loveable, funny friend

59:15 - The concept of visiting people

1:00:10 - Last question: What has been Chatrice and Luis’ favorite moments in their friendship?

1:09:09 - Wrap Up: listen to Courting in Color’s old episodes, next season in a couple of months!

Article: What if Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life? by Rhaina Cohen - https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/10/people-who-prioritize-friendship-over-romance/616779/

Article: Aristotle’s Philosophy of Friendship Still Matters Today by Zat Rana - https://humanparts.medium.com/aristotles-timeless-advice-on-what-real-friendship-is-and-why-it-matters-c0878418343f

Nicomachean Ethics by Aristole translated by W.D. Ross - http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.8.viii.html

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis  have a laid back episode. They take some online relationship quizzes as the main topic of this episode. Are you smarter than a 5th grader, Cuties? In the last week, Luis has been watching The Nanny and Chatrice has been having outdoor Easter picnics! 

Time Stamp

0:20 - Intro 

1:29 - Weekly Check In

10:47 - Adult things hosts have done

17:54 - Shout out for the culture

23:54 - Main Topic: Hosts take Online Relationship Quizzes

25:14 - Quiz #1: Build A Millennial Boyfriend And We’ll Reveal Which State You Should Live In by Sarah Aspler

34:50 - Quiz #2: How Well Do You Know Your Partner by The Gottman Institute -

46:05 - Quiz #3: Dating Quiz: What’s Your Courting IQ? by WebMD

58:02 - Take-aways for our hosts from the dating quizzes

Shout Out for the Culture: Black-owned ‘Slutty Vegan’ lands limited-edition vegan burger with Shake Shack via Black Enterprise

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review!

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis welcome Jennifer to talk about pet peeves in dating and relationships. Since last time of recording our hosts have been busy with online driving school, braces off, covid vaccine shots, and meeting of partner parents. This epsiode has Chatrice, Luis, and Jennifer discuss various pet peeves from ghosting to moving too fast to leaving the cabinet doors open. What are your pet peeves, Courting Cuties?

Time Stamp

0:44 - Hosts Check In

4:55 - One adult thing since last recorded

7:03 - Shout out for the culture

8:05 - Derrick Jaxn

9:46 - Hotep-ery in dating and relationship spaces

11:15 - Lil Nas X & Montero

13:53 - Guest intro: Jennifer

19:00 - College degrees and dating

22:12 - Topic of the episode: pet peeve, things that annoy us in dating

22:48 - Is a pet peeve the same thing as a deal breaker?

23:08 - Pet peeve: ghosting

24:30 - If ghosting is a deal breaker, what deal are they breaking with ghosting?

27:16 - Pet Peeve: moving too fast

29:08 - Luis’ difference between pet peeve vs. deal breaker

30:28 - Deal breakers is the umbrella term, pet peeves fall underneath it

30:48 - Chatrice’s view of dealbreakers and pet peeves

31:15 - Jennifer’s TikTok on pet peeves:  https://www.tiktok.com/@jennijenjen88/video/6906527891169856773

32:30 - Pet peeve: inconsistency

34:45 - Fear of rejection, doing the most than you should be during that point in the game

35:24 - Consistency is grounding  

36:50 - No commitment and already buying gifts

37:22 - No girlfriend actions without the girlfriend title

37:47 - Top 5 pet peeves or so

38:12 - Chatrice’s Top 5 pet peeves

41:56 - Jennifer’s Top 5 pet peeves

42:27 - The IDK guys

43:55 - Luis’ Top 5 pet peeves 

47:11 - What do we do when we encounter these pet peeves?

49:39 - How to be emotionally vulnerable when you didn’t have a good example of that growing up

51:05 - What would other people say are pet peeves are you? 

55:02 - Responding to what the internet says about pet peeves: work self vs. home/personal self, snoring, needing constant validation

1:00:32 - Bad kissers: pet peeves or deal breaker? 

1:00:48 - Can you train or coach someone to be a better kisser? 

1:01:58 - Tiny lips (for kissing)

1:03:54 - Communicating bad kissing and how is it received

1:04:38 - Wrap Up: final thoughts on dating and relationships pet peeves

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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