Courting in Color

On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis review ‘Malcom and Marie’ on Netflix. For their check-in, Luis is getting use to daylight savings and Chatrice has been microagressed in class. Chatrice gives us some financial advice on how to spend that stimulus check (#stimmy). Our hosts talk about Netflix’s ‘Malcolm & Marie’: Luis liked how the film felt like watching a play and Chatrice is annoyed with Malcom’s pacing. Courting Cuties, have you seen this film? If so, what are your thoughts?  

Spoilers Start: 17:01

Word of the Pod: hyperbolic (adj.) - extreme, exaggerated

Time Stamps

0:41 - Check-in with hosts

8:18 - What is one adult thing each host did this week?

8:44 - Chatrice’s financial advice (Curvy Belle Financial Corner)

13:51 - Shout Outs for the Culture

14:28 - Follow Kim Wilson, motivational Speaker (@amazingkimwilson)

15:04 - Tinder Anti-Aisan Descrimination

15:21 - Statistically asian men and black women get the least amount of swipes, likes, and messages on dating apps

15:53 - Today’s topic: Netflix’s ‘Malcom and Marie’

17:07 - Chatrice’s one sentence plot summary of ‘Malcom and Marie’

17:57 - metaphor for relationships during lock down, according to Peggy Drexler, Vogue India

19:01 - Luis’ thoughts about the movie

21:01 - Chatrice’ thoughts about the movie

22:51 - Men taking up space by pacing all the place

23:42 - Luis has only had zoom on their cell phone for 3 weeks and it is life changing   

26:12 - David Dennis Jr talks about the script, ship but uneven

27:50 - Luis drops some theatre knowledge, ‘A Doll’s House’ by Henrik Ibsen

29:18 - Toxic moments in relationships

32:18 - Question: were the hosts satisfied with the end of the movie?

33:18 - Luis laughed a lot while watching this movie

34:16 - Word of the pod: hyperbolic

35:12 - Is Malcolm and Marie’s relationship abusive?

36:52 - Who would be the hosts’ list for their thank you speech at an awards show?  

40:20 - Memorable lines

41:48 - Which character is most at fault?

42:25 - Luis saw themselves in both characters but more so Malcolm

43:37 - Lack of gratitude in this film, Luis asks what does each character need?

45:27 - Marie was throwing the best shade during this film

46:12 - Malcolm was malcious with his words

47:25 - 24 Hour Rule: bring it up in 24 hours or drop it

48:35 - Characters are not self-realized enough to see how their words or actions hurt the other

50:55 - Sex and the City: Samantha and Smith Jerrod; staying with someone because you feel like you owe the other person something

52:48 - Was there a resolution at the end of the night/the end of the argument?

53:48 - A complicated relationship and an abusive relationship are two seperate things,

54:27 - Lessons and take away from this film for the hosts

56:22 - Should we start doing a performance evaluation (like at work) for a relationship?

1:01:37 - Hesitation to be vulnerable in a realtionship is tied to loss

Kim Wilson, Motivational Speaker - https://www.instagram.com/amazingkimwilson/?hl=en

What does Malcom & Marie tell us about emotionally abusive relationships? by Dr. Peggy Drexler - https://www.vogue.in/culture-and-living/content/what-does-malcolm-and-marie-tell-us-about-emotionally-abusive-relationships

‘Malcolm and Marie’ Isn’t About a Relationship, It’s About Abuse by David Dennis, Jr. - https://level.medium.com/malcolm-marie-isn-t-about-a-relationship-it-s-about-abuse-2f05fd8f3206

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis welcome Brian again to talk about the past year of COV1D and dating/relationships. We heard from you Courting Cuties: y’all described in 3 words this past year of dating and relationships. Our duo and Brian talk about their words to describe their dating and relationships this past year, therapy during the global panini, and assessing comfort while dating this past year. Courting Cuties, is who you are now in terms of dating and relationships your new normal or will you return to yourselves?

Time Stamp

2:34 - Weight gain this past year
5:02 - My body is powerful, don’t care what the scale says
6:43 - Proud of body being strong, body appreciation
7:07 - Adulting thing of the week
8:50 - Shout out for the culture
12:38 - Main Topic
13:53 - COVID has rewritten the rules and standard of dating
13:37 - NPR has hashtag called #TheMoment
14:43 - The moment we realized COVID was read
22:57 - Corona Virus is ruining  my dating life
23:18 - 3 words to describe your dating experience during ‘rona
25:02 - Hosts and Brian talk one or three words to describe their dating/relationships this past year 
26:34 - COVID was a time of migration for many people
30:34 - Emotional, exhausting, and exhilarating (re: the last year of dating for Brian)
31:39 - Spending time alone/with yourself when you are not living your busy lifestyle (Brian)
32:21 - The loneliness people experience during this past year is real
34:29 - Realizing you want a relationship which was different than before the pandemic
35:53 - Therapy during the pandemic
42:09 - Ghosting a therapist
43:32 - Last time at the gym was a year ago
44:30 - Assess comfort and value during this time with dating 
45:11 - Pressure of covid, safety, and implementing rules during COVID
46:39 - Conflicts and contradictions while dating during COVID (dating multiple people, being safe)
48:22 - Safety beyond COVID while dating
54:00 - Getting the vaccine
58:58 - A nurse’s persepctive on getting the vaccine 
1:02:27 - We have put bad/worse things on our bodies, we can get the vaccine 
1:05:36 - Is who we are now our new normal in terms of dating and relationship? Or, will you return to who you used to be with dating and relationships?
1:11:20 - if you can date during the global panini, shouldn’t this be easier after it?

VIDEO: Love in the Time of COVID-19 (by John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk6lwUR8cfA

ARTICLE: What a year of dating during the COVID-19 pandemic in Seattle has been like (by Amy Wong, Seattles Time) - https://www.seattletimes.com/life/masks-shower-curtains-and-endless-messaging-this-is-what-covid-19-dating-in-seattle-looks-like/

ARTICLE: People Share #TheMoment They Realized The Pandemic Was Changing Life As They Knew It (by Wine Davis, NPR) - https://www.npr.org/2021/02/28/972281960/people-share-themoment-they-realized-the-pandemic-was-changing-life-as-they-knew

ARTICLE: Dating in the time of COVID-19 (by Amy Dusto, John Hopkins School of Public Health Expert Insights) - https://www.jhsph.edu/covid-19/articles/dating-in-the-time-of-covid19.html (quote from Laura Murray, PHD, a clinical psychologist and senior scientist in Mental Health)

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s epsiode, Chatrice and Luis talk about standards in dating and relationships. Luis has had a week of abundance and Chatrice is enjoying the extra hour of sunlight. This week we bring a tale of a tinderoni the court and talk about the ‘IDK guy’. Chatrice and Luis discuss why are people who don’t know what they are looking for on the apps? In a previous season, Chatrice and Luis discuss the lists and now are thinking if they are or are not standards. Courting Cuties, what are your standards versus what are your wishes? Is attractiveness a standard vs. a wish? Is ambition/goal-oriented a standard or a wish? Is being treated well a standard or a wish?

Time Stamps

0:43 - Catch Up

3:23 - Men suck, friends rock, and feet cute

10:08 - What is one adulting thing you did this week?

15:09 - Shout out for the culture: International Women’s Day, Dolly Parton gets the vaccine, 

16:51 - Word of the pod: kiche

17:30 - Courting Cutie Shoutout: Jennie Dee

20:22 - Tales of a Tinderonie

21:55 - Importance of being on the same page from the jump

23:26 - Apps can be exhausting

23:42 - New term: IDK guy

27:46 - Main topic: standards

28:48 - Courting Cuties’ responses to is there anything bad about having high standards

37:12 - Thinking of standards as high, middle, and low priorities

37:47 - Your standards is not your wish list

40:17 - Standard for self

44:03 - Examples of standards

46:22 - Attraction exists on multiple levels

48:26 - Is it wrong for an educated woman to want an equally educated man?

48:46 - Equally yoked

50:27 - Dating apps a wild card, comparison to meeting someone in your social circle

50:38 - Swiping right on black does not always work

52:01 - Being in a relationship, does Luis know their standards?

52:27 - Learning of self while single, and a whole another learning of self now being in a relationship

52:57 - Do you need to know your standards before you get into a relationship?

53:30 - What standards do our hosts have for romantic partners  (commuicated openly or not)?

54:10 - A standard (in dating/relationship) is something you cannot live without

54:43 - Equal energy and contributions in a relationship; not 50/50, but equal/balanced

55:23 - Chatrice challenging to think that each person is giving 100% as opposed to 50%

59:01 - Having a standard allows you to remove the “what if’s”

1:02:05 - Do you list your standards on your dating profile?

1:05:48 - Not being bored in a relationship

1:06:27 - How do you even decide what your standards are?

1:06:45 - Where do our standards for dating and relationships coming from?

1:07:34 - Do we release our selves from our wishlist and focus more on the standards?

1:08:08 - Wrap Up:

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s episode, Luis and Chatrice talk about sologamy. Since last week, our co-hosts had a press day, adventures in cooking, and home renovations. Through twitter scrolling, Luis found out that Mya has been married to herself for 7 years. It’s known as sologamy or self-marriage. Have you heard of this, Courting Cuties? Our hosts talk about what they think about sologamy, describe their ideal self proposals and self-marriages, discuss intentionally being single, and plan their self-weddings. Luis comes up with a new rom-com movie idea - starring Chatrice with Tiffany Haddish and Kerry Washington.

Word of the Pod - sologamy (n.) a marriage by a person to themselves

Time Stamps

0:21 - Catching up

5:00 - How much of adulting is cleaning?

10:38 - Shout out for the culture

12:39 - Main topic introductions

15:11 - What is sologamy?

16:37 - Dennis Rodman marrying self

20:58 - Hosts thoughts on sologamy

24:45 - Queer marriage existing outside the institution of marriage

26:00 - Hosts describe their self proposals and self marriages ceremonies

29:17 - What happens if sologamists find someone, is it self-divorce?

30:58 - Single postivity movement

31:10 - Cohosts talk about intentionaly being single

33:08 - Chatrice sees a white pe*is on Tinder

34:55 - Cohosts talk about what would self wedding look like

38:34 - Music to walk to down the aisle to at the hosts’ co-wedding

40:10 - Luis comes up with a new rom-com movie idea: Chatrice woudl have a self-marriage ceremony but find the love of her life at her self-marriage ceremony!

42:09 - Sologamy is not a new thing but it is new for some people

42:30 - Wedding registry for a self-marriage ceremony

43:12 - Why do we celebrate people fidning love with another person as opposed to love with themselves?

45:22 - Idea for Hallmark: cards to give someone who just broke up with someone else

51:00 - Focusing on interpersonal relationships to include romantic and platonic friendships

52:38 - Take yourself out, get cute like you would for a date

54:24 - Wrap up: how to understand or know more about sologamy

A Guide to Sologamy by Sophie Tanner - https://www.imarriedme.co.uk/a-guide-to-sologamy-by-sophie-tanner/

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis talk about anxiety in dating and relationships. Our hosts welcome friend of the pod Dr. Kate. For this week’s adulting moment, Luis is wondering what is the difference between light and dark kidney beans and Chatrice is doing some extreme couponing (kind of) for some salsa. Dr. Kate talks to Chatrice, Luis, and the Cuties about where anxieties come from, how patterns in dating contribute to anxiety, and the role of friends in managing anxiety. Dr. Kate encourages us to ask important questions: are you ready to date? are you ready for the rejection? are you ready to turn someone down if someone is not a good match? 

Word of the Pod - expeditiously (adv.) with speed and efficiency

Time Stamps:

11:20 - Welcome Dr. Kate!

23:01 - Clinical interview on the first date

24:24 - Dr. Kate’s speciality

27:04 - Anxiety in dating

30:01 - Havin a therapist in college

31:45 - Fat friends being the supporting friends

34:44 - Where does anxiety in dating happen? 

37:14 - Trusting others while dating; pattern of bad dating experiences

38:45 - Challenging anxiety, locating the evidence for thoughts

41:12 - Are we doing good by our friends by pushing them a little?

43:01 - Being ready to date can help manage anxiety

43:57 - Chatrice asks, how do you know if you are ready to date?

45:01 - Rejection is part of the dating process

47:06 - What do you want in your dating journey: f**k buddy, catch feelings

49:18 - Applying queer studies to dating/relationships, expanding the definition of attraction

50:33 - Milenials and Gen Z being open to dating more than one person (generally)

51:24 - “Your partner doesn’t fullfil every single one of your needs

51:44 - Putting on your partner the expectation to be all the things and what happens if they do not meet that

53:20 - Pattern of people we date

54:17 - Best treatment for anxiety is low grade exposure

58:10 - Anxiety can cause dating to be a high stakes thing

59:06 - Equity in relationships

1:00:01 - Balancing independence with allowing yourself to be taken of in a relationship

1:01:26 - Being own people in a relationship

1:03:14 - Accept the person for who they are, recognizing one doesn’t have or need control in life

1:04:01 - Dr. Kate answers, can you date someone who has anxiety?

1:09:24 - WRAP UP: Dr. Kate gives advice when it comes to dating, anxiety, and insecutities

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis discuss Ok Cupid questions. Chatrice is hosting a galentine’s day and Luis does a lot of cooking (with 6 cooking oils in the pantry!). Also, it’s Valentine’s Day! What do you all like to receive on this day? Chatrice does not like flowers but get her a spa or pedicure coupon! Luis and bae are going to buy plants for the holiday. Chatrice and Luis will ask each other OkCupid questions and see if they are a match! The questions are in 3 categories: most skipped, least skipped, and most important questions. Check out our instagram (@courtncolor) for the list of questions we answer during this episode! After answering quesitons, Chatrice and Luis talk about which ones have shown up in Luis’ relationships. Courting Cuties, why does OkCupid ask these deep questions? Also, wait till the end of the episode for a LIVE OKCUPID SURPRISE!

Time Stamps
0:21 - Welcome and Hello

5:40 - Adulting Check In

8:15 - Shout out to the Culture: LinkedIn celebrates Black History Month (barely)

12:24 - CEOs of Excellence

13:58 - Flowers on Valentine’s Day, yes or no?

18:20 - What is OkCupid?

21:12 - Going Through OkCupid’s questions: most skipped

30:02 - Most skipped question recap

32:14 - Going Through OkCupid’s questions: least skipped question

40:41 - First 12 months of the relationship, have Luis and bae answered these questions?

43:14 - Will any of these questions come up in your relatinoship within the next 1-5 years?

44:32 - Why is ok cupid asking these deep level type of questions?

50:14 - Untidy vs. messy vs. dirty

55:00 - The purpose of these questions

56:54 - OkCupid requires patience, OkCupid questions are good conversation starters

59:16 - ‘Starve for Love’ is Chatrice’s next country single

1:02:11 - LIVE OKCUPID SURPRISE

Article
OkCupid by Jordan Minor - https://uk.pcmag.com/web-sites/4168/okcupid

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis talk the end of cuffing season. Since last week, Luis is trying to make it at work and Chatrice fell through her floor! Chatrice and Luis go through a cuffing season schedule that sounds a lot like a sports calendar - which neither are into! When does cuffing season start, Courting Cuties? Courting in Color thinks in November, what say you? Our hosts talk the rules of casual sexual relationships and situationships. They also ask themselves, does cuffing season have an age limit? Luis thinks that Chatrice as the Black Carrie Bradshaw could write a book called  ‘Heux to Husband: A Journey of Self-Discovery’. Courting Cuties, help Luis, is Chatrice’s fuck buddy her friend?

Article: The Errand Friend by Anna Helen Petersen - https://annehelen.substack.com/p/the-errand-friend

Word of the Pod: communique (n.) - A communique is an official message that's sent between people or to a media outlet

Time Stamps

0:23 - Catch Up and Adulting Thing of the Week
11:45 - Shout Out for the Culture: Black History Month
13:16 - Today’s Topic: Valentine’s Day, End of Cuffing Season,  and Fuck Buddy (FUBU) playbook
16:48 - Rules of Casual Sexual Relationships
24:05 - Fuck Buddy vs. Hook Up
27:52 - Sleeping within professional circles and social circles
37:57 - Did I really heux enough? Does cuffing season have an age limit?
44:34 - How do celebrities hook up?
48:22 - Fuck buddies who disapppear
50:38 - Extended fuck buddies
51:18 - Fuck buddies in perpetuity = friends with benefits?
53:45 - Errand friend
56:52 - Court’s Council - help Chatrice figure out if her fuck buddy is her friend
1:00:43 - Thotstradamus - defining the thot nature and make the thot pieces on our podcast
1:06:02 - Sexual intimacy without needing to be in a relationship

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis say happy new year and start season 3 reviewing Bridgerton. How have our hosts been since recording the season finale for season 2? Luis has been watching a lot of Netflix and Chatrice is Bobette the Builder. Courting Cuties, what adulting things have you done in the last week? Luis is thinking about investing and Chatrice is on OkCupid. Join us on a promendate as Chatrice and Luis discuss Bridgerton, a highly successful Shondaland production. Though Bridgerton is Netflix’s top streamed show it is not without its critiques. Did you like Bridgerton, Courting Cuties? Send us a DM or let us know your thoughts!

*SPOILERS GALORE* after 25:00

CW: r*pe at 35:58, su*ci*e at 51:00

Word of the Pod: ingénue (n.) - stock character in literature, film and a role type in the theater, generally a girl or a young woman who is endearingly innocent

UCLA Gymnastt Nia Dennis Video - https://www.si.com/college/2021/01/25/ucla-gymnast-nia-dennis-viral-floor-routine

There was a r*pe scene in Bridgerton and no one seems to have realised: https://thetab.com/uk/2021/01/04/there-was-a-rape-scene-in-bridgerton-and-no-one-seems-to-have-realised-187749

Rege-Jean Page on Redefining Regency-Era Masculinity in ‘Bridgerton’: https://www.npr.org/2021/01/04/953314526/rege-jean-page-on-redefining-regency-era-masculinity-in-bridgerton

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s episode, Chatrice and Luis are looking back at 2020. Chatrice quizzes Luis on the dating and relationships landscape of 2020. Our hosts talk about what they have learned about dating and relationships this year. Do you know what about Dating Sunday, Courting Cuties? This is the first Sunday of the year which has the highest volume of people on dating apps! Thank you to Damona Hoffman from Dates and Mates podcast for the tip. To wrap up the episode, Chatrice and Luis talk about their favorite moments from the 2 seasons 22 episode year of 2020.

Kwanzaa 101 for the Uninitiated, Self-Conscious, or Confused by Moji Alawode-Ei on The Root
The Year in Swipe 2020 from Tinder

Luis’ Pod Word of the Day: fodder - (n.) people or things that are useful for the stated purpose (from Cambridge Dictionary)

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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On this week’s episode Chatrice and Luis talk about the holiday movie “Holidate” (out now on Netflix!) starring Emma Roberts, Luke Bracey, and Kristin Chenoweth. This week our hosts bring back the “Tales of Tinderoni” segment where Chatrice gets called a punk and Luis wonders what men want to hear in a response from a dating app like Tinder.  Luis is a former holi-dater(ish) with a very specific structure to dates. With it being the holidays, we want to know, are you looking for someone to take home to family or are you looking for someone to escape from family?

Luis’ Pod Word of the Day: admonished - v. warn or reprimand someone firmly.

Schitt’s Creek Spoilers: 5:59 - 8:04
The Black List Spoilers: 8:05-10:42

Holidate Review from Roger Ebert: https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/holidate-movie-review-2020 

Website: courtingincolor.com / Email: [email protected] / Instagram: @CourtNColor

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