Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Jay Hughes is back for a second visit to the podcast. Jay has spent decades devoted to service to families. He has more insights into how to help families flourish than we can cover in a single podcast episode. Today, we are focused on a topic of particular interest to Jay: how elders help families thrive. Identifying potential elders, nurturing them, and as they step into and inhabit the role, how they serve the family in the present time and in ensuring the family’s future. 

In 2021, friends and colleagues created the James R. Hughes, Jr. Foundation, insisting that it bear his name even though his humility makes that difficult for him to embrace.

The Foundation’s Mission: “Rooted in Jay Hughes’ landmark Five Capitals research, The Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to advancing the field of family governance and generational well-being.” You can learn more about the Foundation here: https://jehjf.org/

You can listen to Episode 194: Jay Hughes on the Goldilocks principle in flourishing families, published on September 22, 2022, here: https://bit.ly/3QRONPj

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Last time, I talked about seizing the opportunity to use an annual, or at least periodic, event to check in on ourselves. What seeds have we sown? What are we reaping? f you did check in, and you don’t like what you see, what seeds will you sow now?

It would be good to think in terms of seeds: small things. Things that can grow, with attention, into bigger things. Not trying to plant a full oak tree, but an acorn with a seed inside. Start small and build.  Make a commitment to try to change. Start with listening with respect.  Without distraction. Without impatience. Without eye-rolls, or other dismissive reactions – in person, by video, phone, text, whatever. No special techniques, tools, or training required.  Just listen. With respect. A seed to sow for an improved harvest. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

When this episode publishes, it will be Thanksgiving Eve in the U.S. Let’s focus on the harvest perspective. We reap what we sow. Annual events – and those that happen more frequently but have a set occurrence – present an opportunity. We can check in on ourselves.  We can take a little time to stop and think about what we are doing all the time, routinely.

What expectations have been set in our family about how we interact with each other? What have we sown?

And now, what are we reaping? And how do we feel about it?

We may find ourselves reaping with regret, suffering unnecessary family strife. Hurt feelings, painful silences, anxiety, anger. If so, we can start to sow differently. We can make changes to have a better harvest.

Or we may reap with joy over our healthy and strong relationships. If so, we can appreciate that harvest. We can consider what we are doing right.  And continue to sow and nurture positive seeds in the future. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Vincent Valeri helps rising gen members of successful families to find their own way. As they determine what success means to them and how that relates to the broader family, they benefit from Vincent’s experience of having been part of his own family’s business as a young man.

You can learn more about Vincent here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vincentvaleri/

You can also reach him and learn more about his firm’s work here:  [email protected] https://cmgpartners.ca/

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Evolving the Conversation: conversation is communication. And communication is essential to handling conflict well: keeping the good kind collaborative and creative and addressing the bad kind before it gets ugly.

One research-based presentation I attended was about understanding the very different perspectives that individuals in a family business may have in a nearly identical situation. And, how those individual perspectives will likely evolve through the passage of time and life events. Accepting, even welcoming, that change requires keeping the conversation going in the family enterprise. Not forcing permanent decisions, such as in or out of the business, early in adult life. 

Another presentation I attended with a strong research basis involved trust.  How does a family enterprise inspire trust? In its employees, customers, the general public. The big takeaway was that the world keeps changing and family firms who fail to change do so at their peril.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Kirby Rosplock has honed her expertise in the area of family offices over a number of years. She has written – and continues to write – about insights she has gleaned and has created a learning platform to accompany her consulting practice. We talk about how to navigate conflict in the family office space and her Four Circle Governance Model.

You can find her on LinkedIn here: Kirby Rosplock, PhD | LinkedIn. Information about her consulting firm is here: www.TamarindPartners.com

Her educational program is here: www.TamarindLearning.com. The Canadian component is here:

www.TamarindLearning.ca.  Listeners have access to an article setting out the Four Circle Model here:

Four-Circle Governance Model | Tamarind Learning 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

When we hear the word steadfast, we hear something positive. Especially when applied to ourselves. Strong, committed, loyal perhaps. Stubborn?  Not so positive. Particularly when applied to another person. Pigheaded. Unreasonable. Impossible to deal with. How should we navigate steadfast and stubborn, from a conflict perspective?  We can strive to be steadfast regarding our principles, our values.  We can be committed to integrity, to fairness. And we can avoid being stubborn about our opinions and our decisions. We can be open to changing our minds, when it’s warranted. When it is reasonable to do so. 

The flip side?  Other people will strive to be steadfast to their values.  When it seems that your values clash? Look for where they overlap.  Maybe not a perfect one-to-one, but common ground. Are different words used to describe the same concept? Is your top value different from theirs – but it is important to them? And vice versa?

We can try to be steadfast but not stubborn, embracing good conflict and minimizing bad.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

The word “grievance” appears regularly in the context of workplace conflict. In the U.S. and other English-speaking countries, it usually refers to a document filed by a union to raise a complaint of some sort of wrong-doing. Recently, the term “grievance” has been cropping up more and more often in other contexts. In the U.S., it’s being applied to groups of people in cultural and political spheres. 

Looking at the idea of grief behind the grievance: grief is often the result of loss. Grief can result from other types of losses: loss of connection, hope, respect, status, power, or autonomy. Understanding that grief can be an important first step in handling the conflict inherent in a grievance.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

I am excited and proud to publish Episode 250. That’s a lot of weeks since January 2019.Big thanks to my audience, guests, podcasting pals (especially Steve, Tania, Curtis, Danny, Heidi, and Matt), my friends and family.  Also, all who suggest possible topics and guests. Keep those ideas coming, please!

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Penny Tremblay’s book,  Sandbox Strategies for the New Workplace, Conflict Resolution from the Inside Out, has an array of insights that can be applied both in the workplace, and beyond. We talk about remembering to focus on our own role in interpersonal conflict.  What pushes our buttons may not push others – so let’s look at our own buttons. You can learn more about Penny and her work here: https://pennytremblay.com/

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.