Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Stephen McGarvey is the author Ignite a Shift: Engaging Minds, Guiding Emotions, and Driving Behavior. We discuss motivation, the importance of being understood, and the impact of certain words. Plus, I ask Stephen this question:  “Why is this not creepy and manipulative?" Listen to our conversation to hear his response. You can learn more about Stephen’s work and the book at http://solutionsinmind.com/

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Author and speaker John C. Maxwell is credited with coining this phrase: “Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality.” It’s usually more difficult to change reality than to change our expectations. In circumstances of interpersonal conflict, change is often the key piece in expectation. We should take a moment to look – realistically – at aspects of a desired change to understand what change genuinely can be expected. If we consider our expectations with care – and distinguish them from our hopes and dreams – we may avoid unnecessary disappointment.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Josh Patrick is a business consultant who has learned from – and continues to learn from – personal experience and work with clients, as well as reading, writing, speaking, and podcasting about the challenges business owners face.

Business owners can face internal conflicts – engaging in behaviors that don’t serve them well. I talk with Josh about failing fast and failing cheap, the value of small experiments, and more.

Josh’s weekly podcast is Cracking the Cash Flow Code.  You can sign up for his weekly newsletter and learn more about his work here: https://www.sustainablebusiness.co/ . You can contact Josh directly here:[email protected]

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

When you have an infrequent in-person conversation, think back to it. 

How did it go? Most important, what can you do now to follow up to improve that relationship? What can you do to increase the odds of positive conflict (creative and collaborative) in the future?

If you had a good talk, seize on that! Follow up with a visit, phone call, text, email, or even an old-fashioned letter or card. Mental telepathy does not count. On the flip side, if it didn’t go well – consider reaching out to repairwhat you can.  If you were surprised by how well you got along with someone, perhaps you should share that. Probably the other person was surprised, too. Revisit that fun moment. When we gather in-person infrequently, we can help strengthen good relationships, build new ones, and repair damaged ones if we follow-up soon after – making the most of the time we spent together. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Cognitive biases represent shortcuts in our thinking and how we reach conclusions. You can learn about Overcoming confirmation bias in Episode 129, published on June 16, 2021. Managing availability bias is the topic of Episode 143, published on September 22, 2021. And Episode 176, published on May 11, 2022, is about Implicit Bias and the Implicit Association Test. There are plenty of other biases. Today, a few words about salience bias. In this context, salience means how prominent or emotionally striking something is.

For example, let’s assume I have a friend who is very easy going – almost always.  Then, one day, that friend skewers me for something I did that the friend feels to be terribly wrong. My view is that I may have made a minor goof (I do make my fair share, after all), but I am not sure I did this time. Salience bias can lead me to build this one incident out of so many into a major blow-up that obscures all the positive interactions we have had -- and can have in the future if the relationship is not derailed by this single and singular experience. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

We are now coming into the time of year for traditional family gatherings. For many years, these in-person celebrations have been the time to tackle difficult conversations and make important decisions. Lots of families are coming together this season for the first time since 2019. In the depth of the pandemic, remarkable lessons came out of our need to shift away from in-person gatherings to online group conversations and meetings.

Prioritize human connections when gathering in-person – whatever time of year.  Take advantage of the benefits of periodic, online meetings. That’s especially true when negative conflict may erupt.

We are in a time when we can reset for the better – we can make changes that will serve our families better.  And encourage more positive conflicts – the creative and collaborative kind – and fewer of the negative and destructive ones. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Going along to get along can be a good idea – sometimes. When you find yourself giving in – accommodating in Thomas-Kilmann theory – too often, you might stop and think about that. Do you not care about the outcome of a decision? Are you afraid to speak your mind? Are you going to be silenced by your own choice to not speak up? Will you become resentful about always being the one to “sacrifice”? These questions are especially important in the context of an ongoing, valued relationship.

We can all get better at handling conflict, including going along to get along when it makes sense – and not doing it when it doesn’t.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Amanda Holmes, daughter of the renowned sales strategist Chet Holmes, was 24 when she inherited her father’s vast business interests and his legacy – with no preparation of any kind. 

We talk about her journey over the last ten years as she grew into her role as CEO by following her instincts, developing her skills and self-confidence, and charting a path that builds on the past with her own vision for the future. We discuss her update of her father's celebrated book, The Ultimate Sales Machine. It is available at https://www.ultimatesalesmachine.com/, where you will find bonus resources not available if you buy the book on Amazon. Amanda also talked about the How to Double Your Sales Quiz. You can find it here: https://chetholmes.com/ 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Just last week, I was in a conversation  about the key question for a would-be podcaster. Why do you want to do this?

 I had a clear answer to that question in 2018 during Seth Godin’s podcasting workshop (7 intensive weeks and 35 lessons) and my answer is the same in 2022, on Episode 200. But, I am not the same. I continue to learn from my experiences – and from my podcast guests. There is plenty more to explore in the podcast.

 I want to help people see a perspective on conflict that is practical and positive.  I wanted then and want today to push back against the idea that conflict is always negative.

 I want to help people see conflict differently – which is why I have had (and will continue to have) a wide range of guests who have insights to share. 

 I want to share ideas that I have learned through my own reading, speaking, study groups, and experiences with individuals and families.

 And I want to convince others of this deeply-held belief: we can all get better at handling conflict.

A big thank you to my guests and to the Old Hands who offer encouragement, wisdom, and technical skills. And, most of all, thank you to all of you who listen. I wouldn’t do it without you.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Working throughout the United States, The Community Relations Service (CRS) is part of the Department of Justice. And not as well-known a part as it might be. CRS works with communities to prevent and respond to alleged hate crimes based on actual or perceived race, color, national origin, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, or disability.

CRS calls itself “America’s Peacemaker”  for “communities in conflict by mediating disputes and enhancing community capacity to independently prevent and resolve future conflicts.”

You can learn more and contact CRS for assistance at their website: https://www.justice.gov/crs

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.