Craig and Sam in the Morning

One principal knows exactly how to get kids to read more books. Just promise to dress like Lady Gaga and milk a cow. Well done, sir. Well done.

Kris Humphries' gal pal is says Kris Jenner was behind Kim Kardashian's sex tape; Ashton sues DMV; Ann Curry rumors; Snooki outclasses Barbara Walters; Weezy wants peace between Chris Brown and Drake; new Pink tune

Prepare yourselves for the Zombie Apocalypse with a new concept car from Hyundai. If you're lucky, you can make dinner as you drive it home.

A man turns in his wife for running an illegal gambling joing out of their house. Sam reveals a story about her own mother and her wicked ways.

New perfume line smells like your favorite city. Great if you're from San Francisco but what if you're from Houston? Also, poor Orville the Kitty is now an Orvillecopter. You know you want to laugh.

The queen celebrates 60 years on the throne. Her feet must really be tingly. Performers at the Diamond Jubilee concert include Elton John, Paul McCartney and Tom Jones. Will Liz let her hair down and throw her bra on the stage?

Drew Barrymore a blushing bride with a baby bump, Hugh Hefner reunites with Cyrstal Harris, goodbye to Richard Dawson and Kathryn Jooston, Brooke Mueller in rehab but denies Charlie Sheen is to blame, box office results

A man hiding from cops spots an incriminating shell casing that could give him away. Hmmm, where to hide it? Yeah! They'll never look there? There's just one little problem.

Cee Lo staying with The Voice, Demi being herself, no rose for Chris Harrison, Jagger hosting SNL, JR Martinez a dad, Levi Johnston's little pistol, Miley hanging at the WM, Snooki on tanfastic mom, The Avengers hits theaters.

Some funeral homes are offering party services for birthdays, showers, etc., hopefully while there are no services in session. Craig and Sam ponder the possibilities of unique surprise party ideas to scare the life out of people.