Crazy Grief

Our attachments don't die with the person we lost. In many cases they do intensify but in the absence of their physical presence it's vitally important to redefine what kind of relationship we can still have with our person. In this episode Dr. Ruth Lawson- McConnell explains the 6 stages of attachment, and how we can redefine them in order to foster a new way to relate with our loved one who is not physically present.

Dr. Ruth Lawson -McConnell is a brilliant therapist who also happen to be my dear friend. Ruth is a sought-after counsellor and trainer with 30 years’ experience of counselling adults, children, adolescents and families. She specialises in Attachment issues both in adults and children; her clinical practice involves individual work with people experiencing relationship difficulties, depression, anxiety and trauma, specialist supervision on attachment issues, as well as parent consulting on behavioural and emotional issues in children and adolescents.  She is a Professional Associate of the Neufeld Institute where she trained with Dr Gordon Neufeld in his Attachment based Developmental paradigm. She is also a certified Neuro-psychotherapist as well as a Partners of Sexual Addicts Trauma specialist.  

Dr. Ruth offers free online resources such as coping with grief and anxiety in COVID, as well as online training courses for counsellors, psychologists, pastors, spiritual directors, mental health workers. She has two facebook pages - Dr Ruth Lawson-McConnell (more clinical/mental health focused) and Trinity Initiatives. You check out her resources, view her upcoming courses and book counselling sessions through her website https://ruthmcconnell.com/ or you can email her on [email protected]

If you would like to get in touch with me, check out my blog www.crazygrief.com or email me on [email protected]

Please subscribe and rate this podcast so we can continue to produce more meaningful conversations about grief. 

Light and Peace,

Tatiana xo

We are continuing our conversation with Nada Frazier where we explore some of the important aspects and benefits of having open and honest dialogues about death and dying with our loved ones. We also talk about what we can do to get our affairs in order before the hot minute* - when death is arriving and emotions may cloud our vision and ability to do what is necessary for our loved ones who are dying and for ourselves are caregivers facing the challenges of grief. 

Nada is the founder of The Sacred Servant,™ where she serves as a non-medical, non-judgmental holistic Life & Death Coach, End-of-Life Doula*, Guide, Mentor, Trainer, Consultant, Community Educator, Writer & lover of life.  Nada is a Certified End-of-Life Doula (CEOLD). She has earned the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) Proficiency Badge (www.nedalliance.org).  Nada has served as a hospice volunteer for over 12 years. She founded and facilitates The Death Café of Northeast Florida upcoming VIRTUAL meeting dates are: Sept. 14; Oct. 5; Nov. 2; and Dec. 7. To know more about Death Cafe's check out www.deathcafe.com

Nada brings a lot of compassion and wisdom in helping people tackle the difficult questions, legal processes and funeral arrangements with compassionate support and guidance to individuals and their families through times of critical, transformative life change.

The Sacred Servant™ does not provide medical care, mental health counselling, or legal services.

You can contact Nada and find out more about The Sacred Servant's services on www.thesacredservant.com

To receive updates on Crazy Grief episodes sign up to our email list https://mailchi.mp/3c2131951f04/crazy-grief-podcast and if you would like to get in touch with me email [email protected] 

Check out www.crazygrief.com for blog posts and extra resources.

Please subscribe to Crazy Grief and share the episodes. We never know who may be silently struggling with grief or who may benefit from listening.

Light and peace,

Tatiana xo

Many people don't want to talk about death because quite frankly we are scared to face the big death elephant in the room. That is, until death is starts knocking on our door through a terminal diagnosis or has already bursted into our lives unannounced through a sudden death of a loved one. If you struggle to talk about death and dying as a family or if you are on your own and don't know who to turn to, you may want to consider reaching out to someone like Nada Frazier, who helps people as an End-of-Life Doula.

Nada Frazier is the founder of The Sacred Servant,™ where she serves as a non-medical, non-judgmental holistic Life & Death Coach, End-of-Life Doula*, Guide, Mentor, Trainer, Consultant, Community Educator, Writer & lover of life.  Nada is a Certified End-of-Life Doula (CEOLD). She has earned the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) Proficiency Badge (www.nedalliance.org).  Nada has served as a hospice volunteer for over 12 years. She founded and facilitates The Death Café of Northeast Florida upcoming VIRTUAL meeting dates are: Sept. 14; Oct. 5; Nov. 2; and Dec. 7. To know more about Death Cafe's check out www.deathcafe.com

Nada brings a lot of compassion and wisdom in helping people tackle the difficult questions, legal processes and funeral arrangements with compassionate support and guidance to individuals and their families through times of critical, transformative life change.

The Sacred Servant™ does not provide medical care, mental health counselling, or legal services.

You can contact Nada and find out more about The Sacred Servant's services on www.thesacredservant.com

To receive updates on Crazy Grief episodes sign up to our email list https://mailchi.mp/3c2131951f04/crazy-grief-podcast and if you would like to get in touch with me email [email protected] 

Check out www.crazygrief.com for blog posts and extra resources.

Please subscribe to Crazy Grief and share the episodes. We never know who may be silently struggling with grief or who may benefit from listening.

Light and peace,

Tatiana xo

Widow's brain is a real thing, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. When we suffer a trauma such as the death of our person, our amazing brains respond to the immediate trauma and the consequent grief in intricate ways. One of the them is to shut down areas that are not immediate crucial for survival and fire up our danger instincts: fight, flight, freeze or collapse. In this episode we explore what can happen to our brain and our capacity to think when we are grieving, and we also talk about ways in which we can make our own minds a safe space where we learn to give ourselves self-kindness and self-love. We dive into a bit of neuroscience, which affirms that Love is the super emotion that can help us heal and build resilience, and why validating our own experiences is crucial for our wellbeing. 

Pauline Skeates has been a therapist for several years. She has created and developed a model of therapy - Insight Focused Neurotherapy (IFnT)- which she applies with her clients (*ahem* me as one of them) to help them develop a new and more positive way to see themselves, to train how to re-focus, and to find purpose for their lives amidst the circumstances they are facing.  She sees clients on her private practice in Auckland, New Zealand, and through online sessions. She also provides training for professionals in this method, mainly in Europe and NZ.

Through her private practice Pauline also teaches courses on  "Introduction to Mindfulness" and "Mindfulness in Practice".  You can find out more about Pauline's courses and therapy sessions through her website https://insight-international.org/

Together with her colleague Sandy Fabrin, Pauline has co-authored three books "From Distress to De-stress", "In Pursuit of Awareness" and "Walking into Grace". Hard copies and downloadable e-book versions are available here: https://insight-international.org/shop/

If you would like to get in touch with us you can send us a message through https://www.crazygrief.com/contact

Sign up to receive podcast updates on https://mailchi.mp/3c2131951f04/crazy-grief-podcast

Please subscribe to Crazy Grief podcast, leave us a review and a 5 star rating so we can continue to produce more meaningful conversations about grief.

Light and peace,

Tatiana xo

It's hard to see someone you care for grieving. And it's even harder when you are also grieving. Too many times as friends of the person who died and of the partner who was left behind, our desire to help and our drive to make things better can cloud our judgment and lead us off track from what really matters: seeking support for our grief elsewhere so we can provide the support our grieving friend needs, not the support we think they should have. 

Cristiane Heale is a brilliant counsellor and she one of my closest friends, she was also my husband's friend and when he died she too felt the impact and the pain of his passing.  In this episode we explore some aspects of her experience as a friend - who is grieving - trying to support me in the first days and weeks following Jason's death. 

If you are interested inquiring about Cristiane's private practice you can reach her through her Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/CristianeHeale or her website https://www.relationshiprescue.co.nz/counsellors/cristiane-heale 

If you would like to know more please subscribe to our email list https://mailchi.mp/3c2131951f04/crazy-grief-podcast or send an email to [email protected] 

Check out www.crazygrief.com for blog posts and extra resources. 

Please subscribe to Crazy Grief and share the episodes. We never know who may be silently struggling with grief or who may benefit from listening. 

Light and peace,

Tatiana xo

John Katsavos has faced some intense grief and mental distress and he found his saving grace through martial arts. By choosing to submit his body to the arduous training of Systema, John built physical strength but most importantly, mental and emotional resilience. His training methods are not for the faint of heart and may not suit everyone, but his experience with grief and loss are most certainly very relatable.

John is the creator of VIO Fitness, an online training program. You can get in touch with him through his linkedin account https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-katsavos-5551a569/?originalSubdomain=ca

He is also the host of The Fitness Oracle podcast, where he has the most incredible interviews with fascinating guests of which I am one of. Check out the episode where John and I have a conversation about... you guessed, grief ☺️ https://open.spotify.com/episode/1fchGYYQIXba86ejEyAYTL or listen on apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/loss-grief-and-coping-how-i-managed-losing-my-rock/id1522366913?i=1000487532763

If you would like to receive updates on Crazy Grief podcast or just to get in touch, please subscribe to our show here https://mailchi.mp/3c2131951f04/crazy-grief-podcast or contact me through my website www.crazygrief.com

Light and peace

Tatiana xo

Oftentimes when we are grieving we don't know how to be present with our pain. We want it to go away, and in doing so we miss the opportunity to be present with ourselves and to become aware of what are our deepest needs are.

Other times, when someone is grieving our first response is to DO something, because as human being we are uncomfortable with someone else's pain. So we try in may ways to make them feel better, but in doing so we fail to acknowledge that often the only thing we can do is to be present with them in their distress - no biblical jargon or empty platitudes, just simply be with them in their pain

Mark Pierson has some great insights in what it means to be present. We can only be present with others when we learn to be present with ourselves. And that takes time, self awareness and intentionality.  

Here is the quote Mark shared during our conversation:

"Wake me to your presence Lord, that I might not waste my times of trial"

Mark is lead curator/pastor of Rhythms of Grace, a "slow church" community in Auckland, New Zealand, where they practice spiritual formation and talk about the hard things in life in light of the presence of God. To find out more about Rhythms of Grace or Mark's pastoral care ministry, please email [email protected]

If you would like to get in touch with us you can send us a message through https://www.crazygrief.com/contact

Sign up to receive podcast updates on https://mailchi.mp/3c2131951f04/crazy-grief-podcast 

Please subscribe to Crazy Grief podcast, leave us a review and a 5 star rating so we can continue to produce more meaningful conversations about grief.  

Light and peace, 

Tatiana 

Facing another day can feel overwhelming when we are grieving. Adding tiny drops of goodness to our routine and taking little steps towards the life we would like create can help us to carry on. And over time those tiny drops can make a big difference for the better.

Noelene Judd, has discover this simple but powerful truth after her husband Phil died 20 years ago. Her two self-published books "Feathers" and "Little by Little" are jam packed with beautiful insights she uncovered in her own journey with grief. If you would to purchase a copy of her book,  or if you would like to get in touch with me, sign up for email's update on https://mailchi.mp/3c2131951f04/crazy-grief-podcast

Please subscribe to this podcast and leave us a 5 star rating so we can continue to produce more meaningful conversations about grief.

Light and peace,

Tatiana 

ACT - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - can helps us unhook from negative thought patterns and expand our focus, when we are in distress or when grief seems all consuming. 

Vic Hathaway is a NZAC therapist based in Auckland, New Zealand. She offers in person and online sessions. You can contact Vic Hathaway through her website https://vichathaway.com/ 

Her poem "Small Beauties" which we mentioned in this episode is available here https://underyourwings.wordpress.com/2020/07/28/small-beauty/

For those interested in exploring some of the grounding exercises Vic suggested, check out this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7zAseaIyFA&fbclid=IwAR3vUI-Ms-zUCRzHzgw_GVTZjOySvP6MiLHT6YCqcruD6_bPkgo25YkykAo

And here is the Serenity prayer we couldn't get right 😊

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. ... Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other."

If you would like to get in touch or receive updates from Crazy Grief, sign up to our email list https://mailchi.mp/3c2131951f04/crazy-grief-podcast

Please subscribe to Crazy Grief, share this podcast, and give us a 5 star rating so we can create more meaningful conversations about grief.

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