Crazy Grief

In this finale episode of the first season of Crazy Grief Podcast, we talk about the 3 P's - Personalisation, Permanence and Pervasiveness. And we explore some of negative thought patterns we can become attached to, which may affect our wellbeing and our progression through our grief journey. 

Crazy Grief Podcast is now officially in hiatus for a few months, while I tend to some other important parts of my life. 

ButI would still love to hear from you. Please connect with me through facebook https://www.facebook.com/crazygrief or Instagram https://www.instagram.com/crazygriefconversations/?hl=en. 

And share the love by spreading this podcast to your family, friends and through your social networks. We never know who may benefit from some encouragement for their own grief. Also, please subscribe and rate this podcast so we can continue to produce more conversations about this often avoided topic.

It been a pleasure to have hosted so many amazing guests and to have the input of incredible human beings during the first season of Crazy Grief podcast.  

Till the next season. May you find pockets of joy and hope amidst your grief journey.

Light and peace,

Tatiana xo

Every loss is unique. Every loss comes with its own unique challenges. But often when we negate the impact of our own grief because we feel like we can't compare our loss with someone else. we end up invalidating our own grief experience. 

There is a  tendency to diminish our own grief in light of someone else's loss, especially if the person we lost is not a spouse, a child or a parent. However, when we are feeling the loss of a brother, a friend, a work colleague, but we do not acknowledge our grief, and when don't give it space to exist and to be expressed, because it's 'worse' for other people, we then start to shame ourselves. 

Grief shame is toxic and it festers. Hiding it, denying it, minimising it, will only bring more distress and struggle. Giving yourself permission to grief is the best thing you can do for yourself and for the people you love. 

Love and light,

Tatiana xoxo

Edit Horvath is the driving force behind Active WorkLife Solutions. As an organisational psychologist, Edit uses her expert knowledge in a professional and pragmatic fashion. With more than 25 years experience in business and consulting worldwide, Edit has faced a broad-range of issues.  She loves a challenge and enjoys complex problems, both strategic and operational.

Her strengths are in supporting organisations and meeting their specific needs that contribute to maximise their effectiveness, efficiency and ultimately their productivity. Her professional approach and sophisticated solutions have been proven to be effective and powerful for her clients.

Edith is has also worked for many years as a sex therapist and she is a fully qualified Yoga instructor. 

If you would like to get in touch with Edit by email [email protected] or by checking out her website http://www.activeworklife.com/

Please subscribe, share and rate Crazy Grief Podcast. 

You can follow us in FaceBook https://www.facebook.com/crazygrief and on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/crazygriefconversations/?hl=en

Love and light,

Tatiana xoxo

We have so many unanswerable questions when our person dies. More often than not, those questions start with "Why" and these types of questions can be detrimental to our own mental and emotional wellbeing. But what is the alternative when we are plagued with questions to which we can never get an answer? 

I hope this episode may give you some insights into reframing your questions so you can discover more empowerment, peace and strength for the long journey ahead. 

Let me know what you think, I would love to hear from you and keep the conversation alive. 

You can follow me and contact me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/crazygriefconversations/?hl=en and on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/crazygrief

Love and light, 

Tatiana xoxo

Mothers often put themselves last in order to care for everyone else. But when the death of a family member brings paralysing grief, how can a grieving mother continue to care for her children who are also grieving? 

Every family, every death, and every situation is unique, but there are some common elements bereaved mothers face. Drawing from her personal experience and her work as a grief coach, Megan Hillukka shares practical advise on self-care which enables mothers to find health ways to care for themselves in their process of grief, while also being present for their living child/children, and assist them in their unique grief journey.  

Megan Hillukka runs a "Life after child loss program" which supports bereaved mothers to embrace their grief journey and create meaning and purpose for their own lives. Megan's online workshop "Spot talking, Start Feeling" is a great tool for those who desire to find healthier ways to relate to their own grief and reconnect with their emotions. 

You can get in touch with Megan through her website https://www.meganhillukka.com/

Thank you for listening to the Crazy Grief Podcast. Please share it and give us a review and 5 stars rating so we can continue to create more meaning conversation about this often avoided topic. You can follow Crazy Grief and get in touch with me on FaceBook https://www.facebook.com/crazygrief and on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/crazygriefconversations/?hl=en 

I would love to hear from you.

You can also check out https://www.crazygrief.com/ for blog posts and extra resources. 

Much love, 

Tatiana xo

Megan Hillukka is a mother of 6 beautiful Children. 5 who are still here. Of them, her daughter Aria, died as a baby and her death plummeted Megan into PTSD and into a long recovery journey, where she has done the work to find healing in her brain, in her body and in her life. Now, Megan wants everyone to know that PTSD is not a life sentence, and that healing is possible. She has become a grief coach, encouraging and supporting grieving mothers to embrace their grief and to discover that though the worst thing has happened to them, their life is not over.

Megan has a mini course called "Stop Talking, Start Feeling" In it she helps people process grief and begin to connect with the scary and terrifying emotions that come with it. 

You can find more about Megan's workshop and and her other services on her website www.meganhillukka.com

Please check out the other Crazy Grief episodes, leave us a review and a 5 star rating so we can continue to create more meaningful conversations about grief. 

And I would love to hear from you, so feel free to connect through https://www.facebook.com/crazygrief or https://www.instagram.com/crazygriefconversations/

Much love,

Tatiana xoxo 

Fix the sex and you fix the relationship (according to Esther Perel). But how does a widowed person deal with the challenges of their sexual desire for a partner who is no longer here. To make things even more complex, when spiritual beliefs bring shame, condemnation and secrecy about sex, what is a healthy path towards exploring our own sexuality when we are now on our own? 

Together with my dear friend Christy Lanterman, who is an amazing counsellor based in Kansas City, I share some of my very personal journey of struggle and celebration in re-discovering and -reclaiming my own sexuality after the death of my husband. 

I've heard the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and in my experience, not having my husband physically present has certainly increased my desire for intimacy with him. I believe I am not the only one who feels like this. Death in many instances can intensify the intimacy desire we feel for our partner, and unleash a difficult and often complicated path to fulfil the sexual need we truly crave for. But open and tasteful conversations about this topic in relationship to grief, are rare and often avoided

The intersection of grief and sexuality is unique for each grieving individual, and recognising that our sexual needs and desires didn't die with our partner is the first step towards reclaiming our bodies and finding a new expression of this integral part of being human. 

Christy understands that every person’s story and situation is unique and valid. She is intentional about developing trust and creating a judgment free space because she sees counselling as a collaborative process where my primary goal is to meet you at whatever point in your journey you are today. When working with couples, she takes a Gottman approach, which integrates empirical evidence on what makes love last. Based on 40 years of relationship research, the Gottman approach takes the guess-work out of how we can cultivate strong and lasting relationships.

You can find out more about Christy and her counselling practice, on her website https://www.christylanterman.com/home/about-me?fbclid=IwAR3-KxLE9uQD5nFbyV2heKP3nfvEo_dqw-P9CBGNLhkKe8O53c0GEDFuAKA. If you would like to book an appointment or get in touch with Christy click this link https://www.christylanterman.com/home/contact-me

If you would like to get in touch, please email [email protected] or check out my website www.crazygrief.com

Thank you so much for listening. Please share, subscribe and rate this show so we can continue to make more episodes.

Much love,

Tatiana xo

Not everyone is interested in dating again after the death of a spouse, but for many of us, being alone is not something we want either. For many people the possibility  and challenges of finding love after loss, of connecting with someone special in a physical and emotional level is a deep desire because as human being we are wired for connection and intimacy. We thrive in healthy relationships and we wither in the absence of it.

It is incredibly difficult exploring how to heal our own lives, specially how to engage in loving again while navigating the turmoil of grieving children and close family members. Everyone wants us to be happy - in theory. In reality, dating after loss activates other people's grief into high decibel waves.

Claudia Coenen - our guest from the previous episode - from The Karuna Project (www.thekarunaproject.com) talks openly about her personal experience of dating and developing a new relationship with her current husband, whom she met several months after the death of her first husband Alby. 

In 2008, Claudia entered a Masters Program in transpersonal psychology with the goal of becoming a creative grief counsellor. She majored in creativity and innovation. She joined the Association for Death Education and Counselling, where she has been certified in thanatology and is now a Fellow in Thanatology - the study of death, dying and bereavement.  In 2011, Claudia began working as a bereavement counsellor in a hospice program, occasionally seeing private clients on the side. By the end of 2015, she started her private practice in earnest and began to write her first book. The Karuna Cards and Shattered by Grief were then published in 2018.

Her new book, The Creative Toolkit for Working with Grief and Bereavement: A Practitioners Guide, was released in print on July 2020. She is currently working on a book about Loving after Loss, which will include the benefits, issues and dilemmas felt by widowed people when they choose to date and possible re-partner again. Claudia is also developing and presenting programs at Inova Hospital in Virginia for adults with cystic fibrosis, on creative wellness strategies. 

All three of Claudia Coenen's publications are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and on this link: https://www.jkp.com/usa/catalogsearch/result/?q=claudia+coenen

As a panelist and public speaker, Claudia often participates in interesting workshops, conferences and events. A free event Claudia, together with Robert Neimeyer will be sharing at is happening on Thursday, October 29th at 1:00pm-2:00pm NZDT. It's hosted by Grief Dialogues https://letsreimagine.org/organizations/grief-dialogues. 

You can find out more about the free event here: https://letsreimagine.org/58851/8-am-time-to-talk-about-traumatic-loss 

If you would like to get in touch, please email [email protected] or check out my website www.crazygrief.com

Thank you so much for listening. Please share, subscribe and rate this show so we can continue to make more episodes. 

Much love,

Tatiana xo

Human beings are by nature creative and imaginative. Because grief is a holistic experience that affects every level of our being and it requires an outlet, tapping into a creative process can be extremely cathartic during our grief journey. Creativity can really help us process our emotions and find a way through. Be it journaling, drawing, dancing, singing, or even having a mindful walk in nature, any big or small creative is valuable.

Claudia Coenen is a certified grief counsellor and thanatologist with a Masters in Transpersonal Psychology. Her life experience as a performer, mother, chef and widow informs her work. Claudia has a private practice in Hudson, NY where she helps people move through grief, cope with illness, and relationship issues, often bringing simple art modalities into her sessions.

Claudia leads workshops and talks on the effectiveness of expressive arts in bereavement and is part of the Virtual Funeral Collective that produced the informational paper entitled Death, Grief and Funerals in the Covid Age, a resource guide for funerals, dying and grief during the pandemic. (www.covidpaper.org)  While working in a hospice program with patients and their families, Claudia developed The Karuna Cards, a deck of creative ideas for grief and difficult life transitions and is the author of Shattered by Grief: Picking up the Pieces to become WHOLE again. Her new book, The Creative Toolkit for Working with Grief and Bereavement: A Practitioners Guide, was released in print on July 2020. All three are available for purchase on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble and through this link: https://www.jkp.com/usa/catalogsearch/result/?q=claudia+coenen

You can book sessions with Claudia and find out more about The Karuna Project on www.thekarunaproject.com where there are lots of information about Claudia's work, her publications and links to articles as well as videos, podcasts and interviews.

Check out the free online event hosted by Grief Dialogues on Thursday October 29th 1pm-2pm NZT where  Claudia Coenen will be a panelist together with Robert Neimeyer. You can register here: https://letsreimagine.org/58851/8-am-time-to-talk-about-traumatic-loss

If you would like to get in touch, please visit www.crazygrief.com and drop me a note. I would really love to hear from you. And please subscribe, share and rate this show so I can continue to produce more meaningful conversations about grief. 

With lots of love, 

Tatiana xo

There are people who show up and pay their respects when a death occurs. There are people who show up and bring practical help in the days and weeks after a funeral. And them, there are people who continue to show up months and years later as a grieving person tries - and often fails - to rebuild a new life after the death of their person. 

My dearest friend, soul sister, delightful "companheira" Edna Gaspar is the kind of person who can do all of the above and beyond. And she does it with intention and unconditional love.  I wish everyone could have a friend like Edna because people like her are a gift to this world. 

Edna and her husband Olegario run  Pearanui, an NGO in Tauranga, New Zealand, which provides youth programs for kids at risk without a stable family structure. They pour their heart, soul and hard work into creating a safe, loving and inclusive environment where kids can learn practical skills that will give them better chances of future employment, pick up life and communication skills to help them face challenges and create a build relationships in healthy ways, as well as providing them with a hopeful and encouraging perspective about themselves. 

To know more about Edna and Olegario's work contact them at [email protected]

If you would like to get in touch with me and know more about Crazy Grief, please send me a message here https://www.crazygrief.com/contact

Sign up to receive podcast updates on https://mailchi.mp/3c2131951f04/crazy-grief-podcast

Consider sharing this podcast because we never know who may be silently struggling with grief months and even years after the death of someone. Please subscribe to Crazy Grief podcast, leave us a review and a 5 star rating so we can continue to produce more meaningful conversations about grief.

Light and peace,

Tatiana xo