Create More Intimacy: A Podcast for Men

By Alisa StoddardSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement Relationships

Create More Intimacy: A Podcast for Men episodes

June 05Why Initiating Keeps Failing | Ep 58
If you've been initiating and getting nowhere, this episode explains why, and it's probably not what you think.
Most men were never told that desire doesn't work the same way for everyone. They've been measuring their wife's interest using a model that doesn't apply to her, reading her not-yet as a no, and pulling back in ways that make things worse. This episode breaks down what responsive desire is, why safety is the condition it needs to emerge, and what most men are doing that quietly shuts it down.
In this episode you'll hear:
What responsive desire is and why it's not a problem to fix
Why her no isn't always a no, and what misreading it actually costs
How safety gets built or eroded, and why her body keeps score
Why obligation sex is more damaging than most men realize
The difference between verbal and emotional communication
Why contributing at home doesn't automatically create desire
What actually shifts the conditions for intimacy to return
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
25 min
May 29She Said She Loves Me But Isn’t In Love With Me | Ep 57
“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” If your wife said this to you, this episode is for you.
This is a clarity episode, not crisis management. It covers what she is actually saying when she uses those words, how she got there, and why the two most common responses men have, pursuing hard or going cold, both make things worse.
You will hear:
What “in love” actually means in the context of a long marriage, and why it is not about attraction
How emotional distance builds quietly over years without either person fully tracking it
Why sudden effort after this sentence often lands as confirmation of her fear rather than reassurance
What this moment is actually asking for, and why most men were never taught how to give it
What the path forward looks like, and why the work transforms the man regardless of the outcome
She said something true. The door is open. This episode is about what you do next.
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
22 min
May 22You’re About to Be Alone With Someone You Don’t Know | Ep 56
You built a life together. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, the two of you quietly stopped connecting. Not dramatically. Not with one defining moment. Just a slow drift that neither of you fully named.
If you are in your late forties or fifties and the kids are older or almost gone, this episode is going to land somewhere specific.
In this episode, we cover:
How disconnection starts long before it is visible, and what keeps it hidden
What busyness has been protecting you from noticing
The stories men tell themselves that keep the distance in place
What she has been experiencing while you were managing and providing
Why this particular moment in life feels so heavy when the marriage has thinned out
What is actually possible from here, and what it honestly requires
This is episode 56 in the Create More Intimacy podcast for men. Part of a four-part series on the deeper patterns underneath intimacy and connection.
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
19 min
May 15You Don't Know If It's Over. You Just Know You Can't Keep Going Like This | Ep 55
Most men don't say it directly. But somewhere underneath the exhaustion and the distance, there's a question that keeps coming back at 2am: is this actually over?
In this episode, we go into what that question is really asking - and why the answer looks very different once the tunnel opens up.
What you'll hear:
Why "is this over?" is almost never just about the marriage
What the phrase "I can't keep going like this" is actually telling you
Why wanting to go back to how things were leads to the same painful place
What looking honestly at leaving can reveal about the options you stopped seeing
The fear of infidelity, in both directions, and what it signals
What comes before the question gets answered
The path forward isn't backwards. It's through something you haven't done yet.
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
21 min
May 08She Doesn’t Want More From You. She Wants Something Different | Ep 54
You are doing a lot. You provide, you handle things, you show up. And somehow the marriage still feels empty.
In this episode, we break down why effort alone doesn’t create emotional connection - and what your wife has actually been waiting for that has nothing to do with how much you do.
You will hear about:
Why so many men unknowingly run their marriage like a transaction
Why doing more, giving more, and completing her list doesn’t produce closeness
What she experiences when effort keeps arriving but presence doesn’t
Why grand gestures and gifts fall flat even when they’re genuinely meant
What actually shifts when a man stops transacting and starts being present
Why the fear of not being enough keeps men stuck in the doing
If you have been giving everything and still feeling invisible, this one is going to name something you have been carrying for a long time.
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
21 min
May 01Men and Vulnerability: Why Admitting You Don't Have It All Together Makes You a Better Partner | Ep 53
If you've ever felt like you're doing everything right but your partner still feels distant, this episode will likely land closer than you expect.
Because the issue usually isn't effort.
It's what you've been hiding - from her, and probably from yourself.
In this episode, we break down why men learn to conceal their struggles, doubts, and uncertainty, and why that habit quietly destroys the intimacy they're working so hard to protect. You'll start to see how performing strength is read as emotional distance, why high-achieving men are especially prone to using accomplishment as armor, and what actually shifts in a marriage when a man stops managing his image and starts letting himself be known.
If you're already recognizing yourself in this and know this pattern is affecting your relationship, there's a link below where you can book a call with me. We'll look at your specific situation and what it would take to actually change this - not just understand it.
Inside this episode:
Why hiding your struggles doesn't protect your relationship - it hollows it out
How emotional guardedness shuts down safety, connection, and desire
The shame underneath the performance most men don't name
Why successful men are most at risk for this pattern
What becomes possible when you stop performing strength and start showing up honestly
If this is something you're ready to work on more directly, you can book a call through the link below.
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
24 min
April 24Why You Keep Losing Control in Conversations (And What’s Really Driving It) | Ep 52
If you’ve ever been told you’re “angry all the time,” but it doesn’t feel that simple to you, this episode will likely hit closer than you expect.
Because the issue usually isn’t just anger.
It’s what’s happening underneath it.
In this episode, we break down why you keep losing control in certain conversations, even when you don’t want to, and why trying to “stay calm” hasn’t actually solved it.
You’ll start to see how these reactions are tied to something deeper, how you’re being perceived, how you handle pressure, and what you’re unconsciously trying to avoid in those moments.
If you’re already recognizing yourself in this and know this pattern is affecting your relationship, there’s a link below where you can book a call with me. We’ll look at your specific situation and what it would take to actually change this, not just manage it.
More importantly, you’ll understand the pattern driving it, so you’re not just reacting differently, but actually changing how you show up when things get tense.
Inside this episode:
Why anger is often a strategy, not just a reaction
The hidden pattern behind control, perception, and emotional triggers
What you’re actually avoiding in difficult conversations
Why “staying calm” doesn’t fix the real issue
The one shift that changes how you handle these moments in real time
If this is something you’re ready to work on more directly, you can book a call through the link below.
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
24 min
April 17Why Nothing Is Changing in Your Relationship (And It’s Not What You Think) | Ep 51
If you feel like nothing is changing in your relationship, even though you’re trying, this episode will help you understand why.
In this episode, I break down the hidden pattern that keeps many men stuck in cycles of frustration, distance, and disconnection. Most men believe the problem is their partner’s lack of interest or effort, but what’s often overlooked is how their own interpretation of those moments is shaping the dynamic.
You’ll hear how small, everyday interactions get misinterpreted, how those interpretations quietly change how you show up, and why that shift creates more of the disconnection you’re trying to fix.
This isn’t about blaming yourself or ignoring real issues in your relationship. It’s about seeing the part of the pattern that actually gives you leverage to create change.
If you’ve been feeling like roommates, questioning whether your partner still wants you, or wondering why your efforts aren’t making a difference, this episode will help you see what’s really going on.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why nothing seems to change in your relationship, even when you’re putting in effort
The thought patterns that quietly create more distance and disconnection
How misinterpreting neutral moments can lead to feeling rejected or unwanted
What your partner may actually be responding to, that you don’t realize
The one shift that starts to change how you show up and how she responds
If you’re ready to stop guessing and start understanding what’s really happening in your relationship, this is where that begins.
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
27 min
April 10Why Sex Isn’t Fixing What Feels Off in Your Relationship | Ep 50
In this episode, we’re talking about something most men don’t realize is happening in their relationship.
You think you want more sex. And on the surface, that’s true.
But what you’re really chasing isn’t just the physical experience. It’s how you feel after.
More relaxed. More connected. More certain of where you stand.
The problem is, that relief doesn’t last. And when sex becomes the thing that helps you feel okay again, it starts to create a cycle that keeps you stuck.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why sex becomes tied to how you feel about yourself
The hidden pattern that keeps you wanting more but never feeling satisfied
The difference between being desired and being needed, and why it matters
What your partner actually feels, even if you’re not saying anything
The shift that reduces pressure and allows real connection to rebuild
If you’ve felt like nothing really changes, even when things improve for a little while, this will help you understand why.
Listen now and start changing what’s actually driving it.
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
23 min
April 03Why You Still Feel Unappreciated, No Matter How Much You Do | Ep 49
You’re doing everything you believe you’re supposed to do.
You work hard, you provide, you show up for your family, and yet… it still feels like something is missing. Like no one really sees the weight of what you’re carrying.
In this episode, I break down why appreciation from your wife often doesn’t land the way you expect it to, and why the more you look to her to feel better, the more frustrated and disconnected you can become.
This isn’t about wanting less from your relationship. It’s about understanding what you’re actually looking for, and why it hasn’t been working.
If you’ve been feeling unseen, unappreciated, or like what you’re doing is never quite enough, this episode will help you understand why, and what starts to change it.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
Why a simple “thank you” often feels surface-level and doesn’t match what you’re carrying
How relying on her response to feel better creates a cycle that never fully satisfies
What’s really underneath the need for appreciation, and why it keeps coming back
How this dynamic shows up in everyday interactions and quietly creates tension
What shifts when you stop depending on her validation to feel steady
How this same pattern shows up in other areas of your relationship (including sex)
If you’re ready to change this:
If you’re tired of feeling like you’re doing everything right and still not getting what you want in your relationship, let’s talk.
🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast
💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page
Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/
18 min

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Struggling to fix the distance in your marriage - even though you’ve tried everything?

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Create More Intimacy: A Podcast for Men

Create More Intimacy: A Podcast for Men episodes

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