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Creature Crunch
Creature Crunch episodes
- Comics Crunch Epi 03: But I Don’t Want To Cure Cancer, I Want to Turn People into Stat Blocks
Originally launched several months ago on our patreon.
Hosted by vampiric dinosaur: Chris.
In this episode, we explore the history behind the pteranodon-man in that one comic panel you've absolutely seen, and then reduce him into a simple, two-column stat block.
Stat Blocks
Stat Blocks on D&D Beyond
Patreon
Email
Twitter
Matt's Twitter
Chris' Twitter
Theme music: "Great Lakes Avengers" by Kirby Krackle
1 hr 2 min - Episode 24: Rogue (2007)
We watch and talk about the ausploitation giant croc flick: Rogue (2007). Join us as we learn some new things about crocodiles, learn some new falsehoods about crocodiles, and watch a movie with not a whole lot of crocodiles in it. Then, stick around as we make a standard stat block and make it legendary: Sweet Tooth.
Crunch begins around 51:00.
Stat Blocks
Stat Blocks on D&D Beyond
Patreon
Email
Twitter
Matt's Twitter
Chris' Twitter
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Crocodile Rock" by Elton John
1 hr 7 min - Episode 23: Predator (1987)
We watch and talk about a bunch of muscles trekking through the jungle and occasionally fighting an alien: Predator (1987). Join us as we consider the use of rescue bullets, discuss where manly tears come from, and cringe at Matt's really bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. Then, stick around as we crunch the greatest hunter in the galaxy: the Xenojaw hunter.
Crunch begins around 49:00.
Stat Blocks
Stat Blocks on D&D Beyond
Patreon
Email
Twitter
Matt's Twitter
Chris' Twitter
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "If it Bleeds We Can Kill It" by Dragony
1 hr 6 min - Comics Crunch Epi 2: Oh Dang! It’s a Man-Thang!
Originally launched several months ago on our patreon.
Hosted by our own resident swamp thing, Chris.
This episode is all about the evidentially prolific catalyst for so much of the Marvel universe: Man-Thing.
Then you can enjoy our creative process as we crunch this swampy heap into a teleporting, fear-inducing weirdo that will be unwelcome in any D&D adventure!
Stat Blocks
Stat Blocks on D&D Beyond
Patreon
Email
Twitter
Matt's Twitter
Chris' Twitter
Theme music: "Great Lakes Avengers" by Kirby Krackle
57 min - Episode 22: The Thing (1982)
We watch and talk about one of the greatest horror films of all time: John Carpenter's The Thing (1982). Join us as we celebrate the film's 40th anniversary, lament the vitriol it received when it first released, and discuss the various fan theories that have surfaced over the years. Then, stick around to hear our take on a tricky shapeshifting monster: the Unnameable Horror.
Crunch begins around 1:19:00
Stat Blocks
Stat Blocks on D&D Beyond
Patreon
Email
Twitter
Matt's Twitter
Chris' Twitter
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "That Thing You Do!" by The Wonders
1 hr 37 min - Episode 21: Psycho Goreman (2020)
We watch and talk about the wild ride that is Psycho Goreman (2020). Join us as we puzzle over the rules of Crazy Ball, admire some awesome suit work, and contemplate the true power of love. Then, stick around to hear our take on the greatest evil in the universe: the Otherworldly Decimator.
Crunch begins around 1:05:00
Stat Blocks
Stat Blocks on D&D Beyond
Patreon
Email
Twitter
Matt's Twitter
Chris' Twitter
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News
1 hr 16 min - Comics Crunch 01: Spidery Man and His Wippity Webs
We launched this episode three months ago over on our patreon and we liked it so much that we decided to make it a monthly show!
Hosted by our friendly neighborhood Spider-Chris.
Our first episode is all about that man they called Spidey and the webby goop he shoots, just, all over.
Then endure our creative process as we crunch those web shot doohickeys into a magic hoozit that you can use in your own game!
48 min - Episode 20: Pacific Rim (2013)
Happy Mayllermo del Toro!
For our finaldel Toro movie, we hit up one of the most important movies to us: Pacific Rim (2013). Join us as we send out the month by celebrating this impossible movie, bring up James Bond more times than we expected, and jam out to the awesome music. Then, stick around to hear Matt's first kaiju stat block in the Shippodachi.
Crunch begins around 1:13:30
Stat Blocks
Stat Blocks on D&D Beyond
Patreon
Email
Twitter
Matt's Twitter
Chris' Twitter
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "This Gigantic Robot Kills" by MC Lars
1 hr 32 min - Episode 19: Hellboy (2004)
Happy Mayllermo del Toro!
our third del Toro movie brings us to the comic-adapted Hellboy (2004). Join us as we man-crush over Ron Perlman yet again, question the logistics of Nazi super-science, and fall in love with a monster we frankly don't crunch. Then, stick around while we bring you one of the more unique mechanics in a D&D monster out there in the Antikytherian Assassin.
Crunch begins around 1:06:00
Stat Blocks
Stat Blocks on D&D Beyond
Patreon
Email
Twitter
Matt's Twitter
Chris' Twitter
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Good Samaritan" by The Hives
1 hr 21 min - Episode 18: Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)
Happy Mayllermo del Toro!
For our second del Toro themed movie, we watch and talk about Pan's Labyrinth (2006). Join us as we *faun* over this beloved movie, connect with del Toro's hatred of horses, and discuss Dwayne Johnson for some reason. Then, stick around to hear our take on the actual featured monster of the movie: the Homcabo.
Crunch begins at 1:00:00
Stat Blocks
Stat Blocks on D&D Beyond
Patreon
Email
Twitter
Matt's Twitter
Chris' Twitter
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Labyrinth (English Version)" by Oomph!
1 hr 15 min
About Creature Crunch
From the publisher's feed
We watch, talk about, and summarize creature features. Then we make a custom stat block for the title monster in D&D 5e.