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Tally ho! Pip pip! We have a bit of everything for you today: pigs, highballs, wham kapow fights, more pigs, a history lesson about the English Civil War, a crucified scarecrow, and yet more pigs. Also, if you don't want to hear our thoughts on HMRC and the DWP then fast forward the first five minutes. 

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, if full of SPOILERS. 

Our next episode is on Taggart, episode TBC! Taggart is available on 5 catch up on the UK, ABC iview in Australia, and Britbox elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Do you remember The Inspector Lynley Mysteries? Yeah, this is that. Did we need it rebooted? Let's find out!

Lex gives us a history lesson on the London sewer network (thank you, Joseph Bazalgette), we discuss men's fashions, hand grenades, and the Rusty Trowel, and take a moment to celebrate the dad bod. All in the name of Lynley.

At time of recording "Lynley" was available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and Britbox elsewhere in the world.

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. 

Our next episode will be on "Campion", season one, episodes 5 and 6, "The Case of the Late Pig." This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and on Britbox elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Listeners! We're back! We have missed you! Have you missed us? (don't answer that)

We're back for a quick interim ep to talk about the crime dramas we did and didn't watch over Christmas. Don't worry, there are no spoilers this week, so if you haven't watched anything and are planning to catch up, then you can listen with confidence. Unless you are looking forward to The Good Ship Murder. We may burst your bubble on that one. 

Plus, you get an unnecessarily detailed synopsis of Jodie Foster's 2005 Thriller "Flightplan." (It's on a PLANE)

Our next episode will be on Lynley, the NEW ONE, on BBC Iplayer. Season one, episode one, "A Place of Hiding". You should be able to find it on Britbox elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Bonjour! We're in Paris and our detective, Maigret, is investigating a series of stabbings. Unfortunately for him the press, his boss, and sometimes his wife, all think he's doing a RUBBISH job. But fear not, with the help of his pipe and fedora, he will solve this case. But not before there are a couple more killings. He gets his man and, would you believe it, the problem was WOMEN all along. 

Having said all that, we really liked this one! We also enjoyed envisioning Rowan Atkinson playing various other roles from programmes we've covered. Could he have replaced Jimmy Nesbitt in Murphy's Law perhaps? Or donned a wetsuit in Annika? So many possibilities.

This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. 

At the time of recording "Maigret" was available on ITVX in the UK and on Prime, Apple, or Britbox elsewhere in the world. 

Our next episode is on CHRISTMAS TELLY! Get circling all the crime christmas specials in your Radio Times! We will cover as much as we can watch, or persuade our families to watch. 

Joyeux Noël! 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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What do a harpoon, a corkscrew, a giant toblerone, and Jane McDonald's secretions all have in common? They're all murder weapons of course! 

Welcome to the delightfully bonkers Death on the Tyne! This isn't our usual speed but we loved it, especially as it stars our heroine, Sue Johnston. If you fancy murders on a ship, but don't want The Good Ship Murder (and, fair play if you don't) then watch Death on the Nile (the Peter Ustinov one). 

Once you've done that, watch Death on the Tyne! It's not a bad way to while away 90 min, or 190 mins including ads, and you'll never look at dolphins the same way away again. 

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. 

Our next episode is on "Maigret" (the Rowan Atkinson one), season one, episode one, "Maigret Sets a Trap." This is on ITVX in the UK and on Apple TV and Prime elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Friends, this whole episode is about us finding more Sue Johnston to love, with a bit of Madame Blanc on the side. Actually, this is probably our most chaotic episode yet. Yay!

Fear not, we still spend plenty of time in the world of Jean White, aka Madame Blanc, along with dodgy antiques dealers, our foreign language failings, layers of wigs, and, be still our beating hearts, a CHUCKLE  BROTHER (Even if we get a bit confused about which Chuckle Brother)!

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. 

Our next episode is on "Death on the Tyne." This is available on U in the UK, and on Prime and Apple TV elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Has "Murphy's Law" ever been compared to the 70's classic "Abigail's Party" before? Well, there's a first time for everything. This early episode of Jimmy Nesbitt's gritty cop drama combines high farce with delicate pathos in a way that is, in Lex's words, "confusing." 

Which blonde was it?? Stay tuned to find out.

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence and, if course, is full of SPOILERS. 

Our next episode is on "The Madame Blanc Mysteries," season one episode three. This is available on 5 on demand in the UK and on Acorn TV, Netflix, and PBS is the US and elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Apologies for the tardy release of this one; half term duties disrupted things a smidge! But have no fear, Hetty is here at last. She is on the trail of a poison pen writer who has a whole village gripped in terror - who will be accused of being a shag bandit rubber knickers next?? 

Sue Johnston graces our screens again at last, albeit in a huge black wig, and thankfully there is no Lozza Fox to upset the balance. Instead we indulge in dubonnet talk, our favourite BBC complaints, and Lex confesses the most awkward things she has managed to say to other human beings in real life scenarios. 

Enjoy!

At time of recording Hetty Wainthropp was available on ITVX and NOW TV, and on Britbox and Apple TV elsewhere in the world. 

Our next episode is on "Murphy's Law," season one, episode five, "Kiss and Tell." This is available on U and Prime in the UK, and Prime and Apple TV elswhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Let's play Crime Drama bingo!

We have a closed circle mystery in a country house with the Met Police drafted in to solve multiple murders featuring arterial spray on the ceiling along with adultery  and a splash of incest! Lynley has got it all! Lynley himself has the demeanor of Tory MP harrassing an intern, and his side kick, Havers, has the hairstyle of her name sake, Nigel Havers (who probably has played a Tory MP in his time), but that's not the half of it. We also have a young Idris Elba and a very young James McAvoy. Why not, eh? 

This is early 21st Century Lynley, with Lynley 2025 just around the corner. Buckle up!

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS!

Our next episode will be on "Hetty Wainthropp Investigates". Seasons 1 - 4 are available in the UK on ITVX, and on BritBox elsewhere in the world. Episode TBC...watch this space! 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Oh, the nineties, the decade of crime drama that just keeps giving! Touching Evil is at the gritty end of the scale and has all the tropes we have come to know and roll our eyes at. There is bad arterial spray, good arterial spray, creepy killers, and very low lighting. And at the end of this episode you may understand why we have only been communicating with each other via Jimmy Nesbitt gifs all week. This wasn't our favourite, but at least we have Robson Green's "piercing blue eyes", and "sexual charisma" (not our words) to help us along the way. 

Pour a tumbler of whiskey and let's get yelling at that murder board!

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.

Our next episode will be on The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, season one, episode two, "Payment in Blood." This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, on Britbox and HBO Max in the US, and on Britbox and Hoopla in Australia. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov