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It's CHRIIIISTMAS! And the village of Codswallop Shallows (or similar) is celebrating by hosting lots of ghost hunts, just as Jesus would have wanted. 

There are only two bodies in this one, so it's not an all time classic, but we do have Mark Heap in a mustard jumper, Les Dennis in a variety of outfits, and a steely eyed man in a barbour jacket who doesn't know what to do with his arms. Fun and games!

We struggle with the usual tech issues, mispronounce names, and set Viking River Cruises straight on their advertising strategy. 

Merriest of winter seasonings to you all!

This episodes contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.

At the time of recording, Midsomer Murders is available on ITVX in the Uk, and on Britbox, Apple TV, and Prime video in the rest of the world. 

We haven't decided on our next episode yet, so if you have any requests just let us know on Facebook, Insta, or at [email protected] and we will endeavour to get ourselves organised! 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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You know the drill, a Met Police officer has left London and is solving crimes in someone else's backyard. This time the dectective in question is returning to her own backyard - Dolphin Cove, which is just down the coast from Summer Bay, Australia.

We discuss Neighbours, Home and Away, Enid Blyton, Mein Kampf, and even, occasionally, the programme in question.

But whether you're interested in Return to Paradise or not, tune in anyway to find out what rugby injury Lex is sporting today!

At the time of recording "Return to Paradise is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, iView in Australia, and via a VPN in the rest of the world, but it should be landing on Britbox soon.

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.

Our next episode will be on Midsomer Murders, season 16, episode 1, "A Christmas Hauting." Spoooooky.
It's available to watch in the UK on ITVX and, and on Prime Video, Apple TV, and the Roku channel elsewhere in the world.

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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*This is the second of a two parter on Silent Witness so you may want to listen to part one  (ep 31 on Silent Witness season 4, eps and 6) if you want to get the references. But we're not the boss of you so do as you like.*

We're back! And this time with Dr Nikki Alexander and lots of dead crows. Hardly anyone is "well nourished," and nobody is "heavily charred," so already things are looking up. Also, there's just a bit more going on. If it wasn't for the rage baiting theme music Lily might have actually quite liked this. Maybe. 

But just remember, everyone, patholgists are not the police, but are independent, expert witnesses, using their skill and experience to establish the facts, irrespective of whether those facts cause difficulties or embarrassment for the administration of justice. (pause for applause)

Thank you. 

This episodes contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. 

Despite saying our next episode will be on Father Brown, we are actually excited to announce we will be doing Return to Paradise, the aussie spinoff from Death in Paridise! (NOT the Joaquim Phoenix film!) 
Season one, episode one. This is available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, iView in Australia, and currently via a VPN in the rest of the world, although it is due to land on Britbox soon. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Its the first in our two part Silent Witness Extravaganza and we couldn't be more excited! Or we were, until we watched this. We are not the biggest fans of Professor Sam Ryan. Sorry, Sam, but you are a sanctimonious bore. And you use the phrase "making love," which has not been good for our digestive health. 

Someone gets almost beaten to death, someone gets electrodes attached to their testicles, and someone else has to kneel down in front of Sam for her viewing pleasure, and yet still this is incredibly dull and slow. You can testata silens out of here, thank you very much. 

And don't get Lex started on Clippy, the microsoft assistant. Just don't. Red rag to a bull, that one.

Will the modern, 2024, Silent Witness fare any better? Stay tuned to find out...

This podcast contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS. 

At the time of recording Silent Witness, "A Good Body" was available on BBC Iplayer in the Uk, and Britbox and Amazon Prime elsewhere in the world. 

Our next episode is on Silent Witness, season twenty seven, episodes one and two. These are available on BBC Iplayer in the UK, and Britbox and Amazon Prime elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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A monk gets bled, has a hallucination, gets fed opium, and the upshot is that there is a murder that Cadfael has to solve, in three days or less. The twelfth century is tough enough without all the slings, arrows, and outrageous hair extensions, but Derek Jacobi and his tonsure are here to save the day.

This one wasn't Lex's fave (despite the presence of the Demon Headmaster - apols for the 20 mins we spend discussing his resume), but Lily is a fan of this particular time period so is happy to award extra points based on that alone.

Beware the townsfolk that move as one, beware the poppy juice, and beware of overly heavy caskets supposedly containing the bones of a saint...

The sound is a bit dodgy on this one, apologies for that. We were in two very different environments, in different parts of the country, and were playing with a flickering internet connection. Go team!

This podcast contains descriptions of ficionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.

Our next episodes will be our Silent Witness double episode extravaganza! Our chosen episodes are:
Season 4, episodes 4 and 5 - "A Good Body."
Season 27, episodes 1 and 2 - "Effective Range."
These are available in the UK on BBC IPlayer, and on Britbox and Amazon Prime elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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We haven't LOVED the newer shows we've covered so far, but that changes here and now because we loved Ludwig. In fact, the only thing that could have made it better would be David Mitchell crooning at the end of each episode. However, we will do without that, and instead indulge in problem solving (spot the difference), person case hunting, teambuilding exercises, and Lex's advice on the best way of  disoposing of a dead body. Give her a break though, she was concussed at the time of recording.
 
Oh, and Felicity Kendal is in this one. 

This podcast contains descriptions of ficionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.

Our next episode will be on Cadfael, season 2, episode 3, "A Morbid Taste for Bones." This is available on ITVX in the UK, and Britbox, Prime, and Apple TV elswhere in the world.

We are also planning our Silent Witness double episode extravaganza! These episodes will drop on 22nd November (or thereabouts) so you have the best part of a month to watch both Silent Witnesses, if you so wish. These episodes are:
Season 4, episodes 4 and 5 - "A Good Body."
Season 27, episodes 1 and 2 - "Effective Range."
These are available in the UK on BBCIPlayer, and on Britbox and Amazon Prime elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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It's our one year anniversary! Whoop whoop! And to celebrate, Lex has covid. But like a hero, like an avenging angel, she comes through for us and we battle through this delightful, cheesy, nonsense. See what I did there?

We have garroting, stabbing, death by cow, and of course, Martine and that truckle of cheese.

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with us this first year, politely downloading and listening to two women with declining hormones forget people's names and offload about actors they do and don't like, often with no apparent reason*. This is just the start!

At the time of recording, Midsomer Murders, "Schooled in Murder" was available on ITVX in the UK and Amazon and Acorn TV elsewhere in the world.

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS.

Our next episode will be on "Ludwig", season one, episode TWO. It is available on BBC Iplayer in the Uk but it looks like you might need a VPN elsewhere in the world. Don't worry, it'll get to you soon!

*Apart from Laurence Fox. There is a reason. He is the reason. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Caution - a dog gets murdered in this episode of Luther.  And  people are murdered too of course, but that goes without saying. 

Discussions include Luther's questionable processes (#notallMETpolice), whether a woman who pouts is more fascinating that a woman who doesn't, and the impact that Danny DeVito's presence would have had over the whole affair. In fact, we discuss Danny DeVito more than anything else. BUT there is no mention of The Marlowe Murder Club. You're welcome. 

At the time of recording Luther was available in the UK on BBC IPlayer, on Prime, Apple TV and the Roko channel in the US, and on Stan and Apple TV in Australia. 

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS.

Our next episode is on Midsomer Murders, season 15, episode 6, "Schooled in Murder." It is currently available on ITVX in the UK, and Britbox elsewhere in the world. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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Ok, we didn't love this one, but we did find a reason to be optimistic. Was it the plot? The scripts? The acting? Shayne Ward's linen wardrobe? No. None of those. But even in the darkest of times, we found one thing to love. Have a listen to find out what it was.


At time of recording, The Good Ship Murder was available to watch in the UK on My5, in the US on Prime Video and Apple TV, and on SBS On Demand in Australia.

This episodes contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and is, of course, full of SPOILERS.

Our next episode will be on "Luther" season one, episode one. This is currently available on BBC IPlayer in the UK, on Prime, Apple TV, and the Roko channel in the US, and on Stan and Apple TV in Australia. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov

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"Can it be? ...it's my own particular one and only four starred pussy. The super pussy of all old pussies..."*

IT'S MISS MARPLE!

And it's Jane Marple in midsomer land with a high body count and bonkers deaths. We LOVED this and quite frankly, we don't care if you didn't. It's even got Matt from Busted in it.

Apols for the cameos by Lex's dog (cat?) and a five year old boy. Summer hols, innit.

* Sir Henry Clithering in "A Murder is Announced", by Agatha Christie. First published by the Collins Crime Club in 1950. If you made that out to be more than it was, that's on you, not me.

This episode contains descriptions of fictionalised violence, and, of course, is full of SPOILERS.

Our next episode is on The Good Ship Murder, season one, episode two. My5 in the UK, Apple TV and Britbox elsewhere. 

Original artwork by Mike Luckie
instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/

Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov