Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

2 hours of rants - recorded from a filthy motel room in Miami, Florida during an intermittend layover - about the route from Santa Cruz dela Sierra, Bolivia West into the dry Inter-Andean Valleys and up to the Altiplano, and the many plants encountered along the way :
Onoseris acerifolia,
Deuterocohnia meziana,
Neoraimondia herzogiana,
Schinus mollis,
Puya glomerata,
Schinopsis lorentzii,
Cereus hankeanus,
Harrisia tetracantha,
Blossfeldia liliputana,
Puya humilis,
Trichocereus tunariensis,
Trichocereus bridgesii,
Zanthoxylum coco,
Koeberlinia holacantha, and more.

Originally recorded June of 2026 in Los Angeles California.

In this episode we talk with Chuck Delwiche about the early evolution of land plants, photosynthetic bacteria, what Earth may have looked like 4 billion years ago, what some of the first land plants look like, why bioluminescent dinoflagellates (Pyrocystis) "light up", and the species of algae responsible for the reflecting pool disaster that nearly have the president an aneurysm over the summer. 

Chuck Delwiche is a professor of biology at University of Maryland who studies green algae, archaea, and the early evolution of plants.

Reflecting Pool Video 

https://youtu.be/z3rExfzXYSw?is=RRys648nwoEze0dX

Laiken Jordahl is the national public lands advocate for the center for biological diversity. In this episode he tells us about the destruction of Big bend National Park for a pointless and unnecessary border wall and what efforts have been made to stop it.

Rants about Taos, Garden Design in the sba to j aisle, how to tell if a plant has massive tuberous roots, Peteria scoparia, a new species of Paronychia leucochthonicola, Texas Madrone in Denver, US intervention in Latin America, and more.

Ad-free episodes of the podcast are available on the crime pays but botany doesn't patreon. A reminder to any complaining jadrools : I don't choose the ads. Your own algorithm does. Thank your corporate overlords.

This episode contains rants about Tennessee Oak Savannas, suburban Chicago fire ecology, granite balds in South Carolina and Georgia, the close ties between shame, status and native plants in South Texas-Mexican American communities, a hopeful city council meeting about a native plant ordinance, and more.

Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Rants about the Extinction of the Ft. Worth Prairie, the rediscovery of Dalea sabinalis, plants with huge taproots, dry limestone plants,  idiotic development, getting fleeced and ripped off in Costa Rica, fleabag motels, the Bowel Movement Supermarket, reminiscing about riding freight trains to Ft. Madison Iowa for the $5 cinema, and more

Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

In this episode we rant about all night drives through the desert, meth-amphetamine and Del Taco Management, Phoenix Horticultural Atrocities, the "Kicked Outta Da Botanic Garden" Tour, plumbing leaks, Brad Lancaster's work in the Dunbar Spring Neighborhood of Tucson, and more.

(NSFW) Rants about Dr Phil, Fire Ecology, Carnivorous Plants, the Piedmont Forests of North Carolina, Sandhills, Coastal Plain Longleaf Pine Savannas and more...

All Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Carlos "Aztekium" Velasco is a biologist, educator, and naturalist in Nuevo León, Mexico who has been teaching and studying the region's botany for 30+ years. He has written a guidebook to the plants of Nuevo León and helped describe new species such as Astrophytum caput-medusae.

In this episode we talk about the endemic plants of the Sierra Madre, the habitat of Huasteca Canyon, the urban river known as Rio Santa Catarina and its potential as native plant habitat, Ethnobotany of Mexican Plants, a growing appreciation of native plants in Northern Mexican culture, why the North lost so much of its Ethnobotany compared to the South, and more.