Critical Babe Theory

The first half of my conversation with Brock Colyar, features writer at New York Mag, about their recent article “The Big Little Penis Panic”—and how size anxiety is dominating the American male psyche. Be warned: this episode is very NSFW.

Also discussed: catching print, is skinny to women what dick size is to men?, growers vs showers, get good at the native sex you’re having, pleasure-maxxing, porn is ruining men’s self esteem, dick size in art reflects the political climate of the time, you can be so big it’s a liability, Clan of the Cave Bear as sex-ed, “almost every woman I talk to says they don’t care about size,” we need to take looksmaxxers more seriously, working on our personalities, “the call is coming from inside the American house,” the sexual rigidity of BDSM, feeder fantasies, Hitler’s size was tabloid fodder in his day, soyboybetacucks, traditional yearning for hard masculinity, the gays are the real size queens, and Francesca relates her peak erotic experience.

“The Big Little Penis Panic” by Brock Colyar in New York Mag

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

The first half of my conversation with Carrigan Miller, writer and editor of KGB Lit, about the looming schism in the Catholic Church between traditionalists and reformers—and how SSPX, Peter Thiel and conservative American bishops are emblematic of the tensions in Rome post-Vatican II.

Also discussed: “you have a soul, act like it,”only fools want schism, fifth base is letting the person you’re seeing watch you pray, “we’re looking for the seamless garment out there,” letting Christianity scandalize you, “Catholicism is like communism,” the Marian apparition at Fatima, dogmatists vs pastoralists, throwing white boy Arabic into the group chat, being a guy with an eyeliner-y look, Never Forget has been totally forgotten, the real target of the encyclical is realpolitik and Henry Kissinger, girls with rosaries at the club, grace is countercultural, and one of the little-known selling points of early Christianity was that it would free you from the shackles of astrology.

Referenced:

Pope Leo’s Encyclical Letter Magnifica Humanitas

Peter Thiel’s essay for First Things

Jack Hanson’s Harper’s article: “Radical Reformation”

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

The Democrats claim to be the “moral” party—that’s why they abandoned Platner. But is a party that facilitated the genocide in Gaza, allowed Ted Kennedy to serve in the Senate for 47 years after killing a girl, and is led by Nancy Pelosi—who clearly engages in insider trading—really the party that can demand their candidates be pure? An argument with political strategist and former Congressional staffer Matt Landini about what the Democrats mean when they say they’re the party of morality—and if they have what it takes to win.

Also discussed: grievance politics works, “do we want hot candidates or do we want good guy candidates?”, bootstrap Dems, anti-Canadian immigration, crisis comms & posting through the pain, Francesca rereads Machiavelli, the gayest beach anywhere ever, real talk about SA, “one senate seat does not the republic make,” DSA works in NYC but not in the heartland, Dems being a big tent means they have a lot of constituents to please, “pedophilia is a bipartisan issue” and the greatest question of all: what is the calculus of moral culpability?

Fact check: Troy Jackson did start his political career as a Republican. And here’s the best accounting of who funds AIPAC, many of whom have ties to the state of Israel: https://www.trackaipac.com/donors

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

Murtaza Hussain, senior reporter at Drop Site News, comes on the show to talk about the war in Iran. But (of course) we end up talking about Israel—and how they’re scrambling to keep war in the Middle East going at any cost.

Nota bene: this was taped on July 3rd. Since then the ceasefire between the US and Iran—in so much as there was one—has collapsed.

Also discussed: when the goal is the creation of chaos, ethnic religion, draining down the bank of moral capital, the strength of a diasporic people is that they’re not all concentrated in one place, moving from offshore balancing to Israeli hegemony, don’t forget the evangelical component, underestimating the continuity of Persian civilization, the state of Israel as pastiche, “you’re into the Abrahamic or you’re not,” TM-ing ideas, how Mamdani doesn’t ever have a cunt-y moment, how the institutional memory of the Catholic Church puts everything in perspective, suppressing the student protests is suppressing future elites at their most impressionable moment, “Israel is trying to race to the end of history,” using Gaza as a verb, and the real question: is Iran coming out on top here?

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

Former pro wrestler and natural bodybuilder Max Barsky comes on the show to talk about wrestling, labor organizing, and patriotism. Plus we have an honest conversation about getting cancelled—and how it doesn’t have to make you swing to the right.

Also discussed: bodybuilding categories, “cancellation doesn’t exist,” the moral obligation to run for office, the #speakingout movement, labor organizing in the indie professional wrestling circuit, an explanation of “customs,”strictly-for-entertainment visas, textbook gaslighting, idealist zionism, the best independent wrestling storyline, when you lie to your journal, how the unitary theory of the executive could lead to the Green New Deal, “no man has ever said ‘I’m overstimulated,’” sportswashing in Israel, the Salem witch burners were the real Americans, and Francesca asks: is it a crime to be a bad boyfriend?

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

The first half of my conversation with writer and organizer Caroline Debnam about the recent hit pieces on Graham Platner in the NY Times—their questionable sources, AIPAC-awarded journalists, and the real issue: legacy media is terrified of a viable populist candidate.

Also discussed: the liberal discourse on the insurgent left, standing for the real America, letting go of “believe women,” DC technocrats are obsessed with voters being effected by bad ideas, Cuba can never win, the bs class position dialogue on Platner, “it’s morning in North Korea,” the psychic damage of San Francisco, people in their 20’s are a nightmare to date—that doesn’t mean they’re abusive, Euro-mutts, “if Platner were running as a Blue Dog, no one would be asking these questions," Francesca reminds us that Ezra Klein is a polyamorist, and the question of the day: is the problem with Democratic politics that coastal elites are just unpleasant conversationalists?

Referenced:

“Several Women Who Dated Graham Platner Recall ‘Unsettling’ Behavior” - Katie Glueck & Lisa Lerer 

“Graham Platner and the Rise of White Male Identity Politics” - Joan Walsh

Ezra Klien & Chris Hayes discuss Graham Platner 

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

The first half of my conversation with Rev. Dr. Andrew Blume—the rector of Saint Ignatius of Antioch in New York City—about what it’s like to be part of a church community grounded in traditional worship while also having an inclusive, open-door policy—and how angry that makes the tradcath trolls online.

Also discussed: Francesca forsakes frivolity for more serious concerns, defining Anglo-Catholicism, a Jewish parent’s worst nightmare (their only child becoming a Christian priest), “don’t let anyone tell you that prayer in school doesn’t matter,” Anglican intellectual warmth, “you grow in life as you grow in ministry,” Vatican II, aesthetics as an inroad to faith, nothing is more scary to city kids than the suburbs, the English reformation as the first Brexit, sympathy for Henry VIII, out Roman-Catholic-ing the Roman Catholics, Father Blume: “I wanted to gather a community around the Eucharist so we could all make meaning of our lives,” and Francesca’s eternal question: should women be priests?

https://www.saintignatiusnyc.org/index.html

Instagram: @saintignatiusnyc

The first half of every episode of CBT is free, wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

The first half of my conversation with guest Zoe Dubno—author of the novel Happiness & Love—on her recent article for NY Mag about whether we’ve gone too far in celebrating plastic surgery & extreme beauty routines.

Also discussed: there's nothing new under the sun, corporate slop gyms, parents who force their ED on their kids, being allergic to cheap things vs being a snob, the obvious benefit to being more attractive as a woman, plastic surgery creating a paucity of beauty, the benefits of literally touching grass, Francesca reads the bible (again), the prison of self-obsession, being so hot it’s a problem, there are no attractive people on the UWS, searching for the illusion of purity, the depth of Francesca’s vanity, and the immortal question: is it good to get exactly what you want?

Referenced:

“I Spray Myself with Magnesium and Read Under a Chicken Light” - by Zoe Dubno, New York Magazine

"The Year All My Friends Got Botox" - by Emmeline Clein, New York Magazine

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

My conversation with porn historian Noelle Perdue on the censorious attempt to regulate pornography today—and our heated debate about what a moral society owes its citizens.

Also discussed: “pornography is neutral but our sexual culture is not,” box dye heritage, wanting to see things you can never unsee, “The Entertainment” in Infinite Jest, choking in porn is now illegal in the UK (!), vibes-based legislation, our sexual culture, the overlap between anti-trans and anti-porn rhetoric, Francesca just wants everyone to have good sex, the “porn industry” doesn’t exist as such, stalking the halls of the Bellagio, the feature of SESTA/FOSTA is to harm sex workers—it’s not a bug, the fallacy of the Nordic Model, and how “keeping people isolated is profitable business.”

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

A wide-ranging conversation with writer and filmmaker Sean Wilsey about literature, the left, and his film IXXI that’s premiering at Tribeca this week. We discuss how hard it is to hold on to your values, orthodoxy as a means to protect yourself, and how radicals have lost the ability to cooperate.

Also discussed: translations that are funnier than the original, “it’s really easy to throw people under whatever bus you want to keep moving,” Italy’s reputation as frivolous, The Nation doesn’t want anyone to have a good time, adorning prostitutes with flowers in Czechoslovakia, fun is a problem for political orthodoxies, profound moral alterations brought on by a work of literature, nostalgia for the worst times of one’s life, Republicans are a better hang these days, suffering without redemption is true perversion, everyone has a Southern accent at NASA, the jet-setting lifestyle of the last international magazine feature writer (Sean), we’re becoming a country of scammers and liars, and the unresolved question: did all Gen X ideas come from Woody Guthrie? 

Link to Sean’s film IXXI at Tribeca, almost sold out: 

https://tribecafilm.com/films/ix-xi-2026

Articles referenced:

The Nation - “Luigi Pirandello’s Broken Men” by Gus O’Connor

GQ - “The Next Giant Leap” by Sean Wilsey

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo