Axes, knives, roller skates, and disco—when three Vikings and three hobbits face off under the spinning lights, survival is just another illusion. The Skarsgård brothers bring brute force, the Culkins bring chaos, and the rink brings carnage. Nachos are eaten mid-fight. A disco ball dies. The DJ regrets everything.

Who skates away? Who bleeds out? And most importantly—what song should’ve been playing instead?

Parody/satire

The sky’s splitting open, the wind’s got teeth, and the water’s rising whether you believe in it or not—so what now? We broke it, all of it, every last piece, and there’s no reverse button, no fix, just full-speed into the wreckage we built. I blame me, I blame you, I blame all of us, but blame doesn’t stop the flood, so let’s talk about what’s left after the last storm hits.

The stadium clears, the confetti settles, and the world moves on, but his body never does. Every tackle rewrote his future in pain, every cheer drowned out the cost, every win came at a loss his spine, brain, and broken hands will carry forever. The league cashes in, the fans celebrate, and the medical bills stack higher than the trophies.

How much would you sacrifice for a moment of glory? And when the lights go out, who remembers the ones left in the dark?