Your daughter's transformation into a young woman is designed by God. But as a dad, stepping back to protect her can be tough when all you want is to reconnect like you did when she was younger. In this episode, Jay Heck, Rob Porter, and Jeff Zaugg unpack the powerful "Chrysalis Analogy" and reveal how God uses this transition to draw you closer to Him while strengthening your relationship with your kids.

Key Takeaway

• Being a supportive protector instead of forcing connection as your daughter ages will build intimacy and make both of your lives easier.
• Your daughter's view of men will be shaped by how safe and loved she feels with you as her father.
• Just like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, your daughter's spiritual, physical, and hormonal transformation requires you to stand back and trust God's design.
• Your thoughts and words hold immense power. Choose to speak vision and blessings over your daughter's life.

Jay Heck & Rob Porter

Jay Heck is the founder and director of Being Songs, a ministry helping men discover that authentic, fearless, God-designed manhood begins by being a son. He and his wife, Heather, have two young adult children.

Rob Porter lives in New Zealand with his wife and two kids. He leads Let's Keep Rising, a ministry that crafts adventures, events, and resources that meet men where they are and help them experience restoration in the most critical relationships they have, beginning with God

Key Quotes

• 21:15 - "I recall you mentioning, Jay, I get to become more of a son through my daughter. So the thing that sticks out to me is, what are the messages my daughter is receiving from me? Jay, I think you laid out this idea of air, food and water. Attention being the air, affection being the food, and affirmation being the water. And what I'm really feeling, where I'm maturing, is my awareness in a given situation. So, that when I'm feeling stressed or frustrated or whatever my emotions are stirring, that I'm able to separate that from coming out to my child. That I'm able to be aware of what's the message that they're receiving from me."
• 24:51 - "One of the things that I was guilty of, and this was my heart's response or reaction to fear, that I don't know what I'm doing. So, when I can't make sense of it, I like to put a label on it. My daughter is difficult, or she's hard-headed. I mean, people joke about this stuff all the time, but when you really begin to think about it, you are speaking and you are affirming a reality. You're speaking something into existence. Like if I, in my anger, I can say, my daughter's being so difficult today. And the next day I say the same thing. And then after three days, I'm like, my daughter is difficult. Like it grows, the story begins to be more comprehensive. I don't know what to do with my daughter. Wow, is that really the story or is it you just don't know what to do in this instant with her? You don't know how to love her. And so we can just say these curses all the time."

Links from Today's Conversation

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• Let's Keep Rising
• Being Sons Events
• Raising Boys and Girls
• 31: A Dad's Guide to "The Stages of The Feminine Journey" w/Stasi Eldredge | Being Sons Podcast
• Sissy Goff Books

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