In this episode, we explore the provocative idea of what it means to give your death away — to truly live in light of your mortality. Drawing from the ancient Christian practice of “memento mori” — remembering your death — we talk about how only Christianity can make sense of this uncomfortable reality through the hope of resurrection and eternal life.

We discuss what it means to build a legacy within our families, not just by passing on skills that fade, but through wisdom, blessing, and a life rooted in eternal perspective. Inspired by Arthur Brooks’ From Strength to Strength, we reflect on the shift that happens as we age — moving from fluid to crystalized intelligence. Looking to Psalm 92’s promise that the righteous “will bear fruit in old age,” we talk about becoming the kind of person who grows old and sweet rather than old and bitter, someone secure enough to bless and encourage the next generation.

This episode centers on the power of blessing — through appropriate touch, a spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future, and committing to fulfill it. We also talk about the role of mentorship and discipleship in passing on that blessing — how writing down words of encouragement, sharing wisdom, and investing in others becomes a way of giving your death away. We share a spoken blessing for every part of the body and reflect on the reality that legacy requires humility and the willingness to let go of ego, status, and pride.

Because ultimately, the way to life is only through death. The episode closes with a prayer from Psalm 23 — “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing” — and four tangible ways to live this out: order a memento mori, write your obituary, meditate on your death, and extend the years of your age chart.

Justin’s Embodied Bedtime Blessing:

Bless his feet, may they carry good news.

Bless his legs to go on in times of trouble.

And bless his back, may it be strong enough to bear the burdens of others.

Bless his arms to hold the lonely and his hands to do good work.

Bless his neck, would you turn his head to the poor.

Bless his ears to discern truth, his mouth to speak encouragement, and his eyes to see beauty.

Bless his mind, may he grow wise in the knowledge of you.

But above all, Lord, will you bless his heart, may he come to love you and all that you’ve made, in the right order.

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CA

Family Age Chart PDF Download

Scripture Mentioned: Psalm 23:1 + Psalm 92:12-15

Book Mentioned: From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks

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Following last week’s conversation about giving your life away, this episode dives into the everyday practices that help us live that out — even in the middle of our busy, overwhelmed lives. We’re talking about what it looks like to lean into the self-emptying way of Jesus — the way that actually leads to life to the full, both for us and for those we love.

We explore what this looks like through three key areas: spiritual disciplines, physical disciplines, and gratitude and joy. In the first, we talk about how to lean in and experience the God who gave His life for you — looking at Jesus’ rhythm of withdrawing to pray, and how to build our own patterns of prayer, reading Scripture, and experiencing silence that are rooted, not rigid, and focused on rhythms rather than rules.

In the second, we focus on physical disciplines like exercise and fasting, learning to embrace self-emptying as a way of finding true fulfillment. We discuss the spiritual and even scientific connection between movement, anger, and formation — how exercise can move from vanity to love, and from shame to strength.

Finally, we talk about gratitude and joy, remembering that our story doesn’t end in sacrifice and struggle, but in holiness, happiness, and celebration. We reflect on dating our wives, feasting with friends, and practicing joy and gratitude as an act of resistance in the midst of life’s demands.

This conversation is an invitation to live open-handedly — to let go so you can truly live the full and abundant life God designed you for as a father.

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CA

Family Age Chart PDF Download

Scripture Mentioned: Luke 5:16, Psalm 23, Ephesians 4:26 + Matthew 6:9-13 

Books Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser, Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster, Sacred Fire by Ronald Rolheiser + You Are the Beloved by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Previous Episode Mentioned: S1E3 - Habits, Rhythms, and Spiritual Disciplines for Intentional Fatherhood (Spotify, Apple Podcasts + YouTube)

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In this episode, we explore what it really means to give your life away — and why it’s the natural next step after getting your life together. Our homes, marriages, and families become our modern monasteries, the sacred spaces where formation happens. God’s goal isn’t our comfort but our transformation into His likeness, a process of self-emptying modeled in Philippians 2:1–11. We suffer in order to be exalted, and few things shape us like marriage and parenting.

As we move through adulthood — especially in our late twenties and early thirties — we often face disappointment as we confront who we actually are rather than who we hoped to be. That realization can be painful, but it’s also the soil where joy and sanctification take root. Much of this episode centers around those struggles that keep us from surrendering fully to the life God’s inviting us into, and the freedom that comes when we name them honestly.

We reflect on how suffering can make us either hard and bitter or soft and loving, and how choosing surrender over control opens the door to real transformation. Giving your life away will change you — but on the other side of that surrender is a deeper peace and purpose than you could have imagined.

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CA

Family Age Chart PDF Download

Menu of Struggles PDF Download

Scripture Mentioned: Philippians 2:1-11, Matthew 18:2-3 + John 2:1-11

Books Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser + The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller

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This week, we continue last week’s conversation about getting your life together, digging into pivotal moments from young adulthood that shaped the course of our lives. In season two, we’re exploring the three movements of spiritual maturity and fatherhood: getting your life together, giving your life away, and giving your death away, sharing practical stories and real-life examples of how these stages unfold.

From career shifts and breakups to marriage and parenthood, we reflect on seasons where God reordered our desires and called us to clarity in identity and vocation. Drawing on passages like Peter walking on water and Psalm 37, we talk about stepping out in faith, asking God to guide our hearts, and trusting Him to realign what we long for.

We also examine the importance of naming — our experiences, struggles, and hopes — and how accountability, therapy, and intentional reflection help us process and grow. Real change takes time, and getting our lives together often means healing from the past. By tending the “garden” of our lives, leaning on community, and inviting God into the process, we can get our lives together from the ground up — in order for us to eventually give them away.

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CA

Family Age Chart PDF Download

Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 14:22-33, Psalm 37:4, Ephesians 5:22-33, Ecclesiastes 1:9, Proverbs 29:18, Genesis 2:19-20

Books Mentioned: The Body Teaches the Soul by Justin Whitmel Earley, The Call by Os Guinness, The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller, Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser, The Holy Longing by Ronald Rolheiser, Sacred Fire by Ronald Rolheiser, Wrestling with God by Ronald Rolheiser, and Prayer by Ronald Rolheiser

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Season 2 of the Intentional Fatherhood Podcast kicks off with a new framework for understanding the journey of spiritual maturity, specifically through the lens of fatherhood. This season, we’re exploring the three great movements of the spiritual life: getting our lives together, giving our lives away, and giving our deaths away.

In this first episode, we dig into that first movement: getting our lives together. What does it really mean to move from boyhood to manhood — to take on responsibility, lead with integrity, and build a family — especially when no one ever showed us how? Many of us find ourselves in jobs, routines or situations we don’t love, wondering if this is what life was meant to be. We talk honestly about that struggle and the grace needed when we haven’t been guided through it by a father or mentor.

We also explore how following Jesus leads to a fuller, richer life — one that begins with death to self. Despite what culture tells us, the cross reminds us that life isn’t about achievement or comfort, but about surrender, calling us to accept the limitation of our own desires.

Using the Family Age Chart tool, we reflect on how each season of life is brief and full of transition — and how those transitions often come with both crisis and calling.

This episode lays the foundation for the season ahead: learning how God shapes us through the movements of life, beginning with the hard but holy work of getting our lives together.

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CA

Family Age Chart PDF Download

Scripture Mentioned: Proverbs 29:18, Proverbs 24:16, Matthew 16:24, Galatians 5:19, Colossians 3:5 + Luke 9:23

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In this bonus Q&R episode, we tackle real and honest questions from listeners — covering everything from anxiety and reliance on substances, to conflict with our spouse around phones, to the challenge of leading spiritually at home, and choosing to parent differently than we were raised.

We talk about the importance of practicing healthier rhythms instead of swinging between extremes, and how bringing your spouse into the process creates space for humility and vulnerability. We also look at how to approach conversations about excessive phone use with empathy rather than shame, and how curiosity can open the door to honest dialogue.

From there, we explore what it takes to move surface-level friendships toward deeper, covenant-level connection, and how vulnerability breeds vulnerability. We also discuss the awkward but necessary work of starting new spiritual habits at home — pushing through the discomfort to create rhythms that will last.

And finally, we talk about the desire so many of us carry to parent differently than the way we were raised. The hope of the gospel is that we don’t have to repeat the cycles we inherited. Jesus interrupts generational patterns, opens the door to repair, and empowers us to create new legacies of honesty, humility, and grace for the generations that come after us.

Books Mentioned: The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place by Andy Crouch, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt + Made for People: Why We Drift into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of Friendship by Justin Whitmel Earley

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We’re back with a special Q&R episode, answering real questions from fathers navigating the tensions of parenting, faith, and calling. We talk about what to do when you feel isolated in the early years of raising kids, especially when your closest friends aren’t parents yet, and how to create the kind of community your fatherhood needs.

We also dive into the power of confession — why it’s deeply biblical, how to start small with someone you trust, and how regular rhythms of honesty can bring freedom and healing.

From there, we discuss what it looks like to parent with both authority and love, offering practical ways to set boundaries, repair when you snap, and become a student of your kids — especially if they’re wired differently. We also talk about how essential prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit are in this process, because lovingly discipling our kids isn’t something we can do in our own strength.

Finally, we unpack the tension between work and family — setting healthy boundaries, releasing guilt, serving your family, and finding dignity in your calling without sacrificing presence at home.

Fatherhood comes with real challenges, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. This episode offers honest conversations and practical tools to help you show up with presence and purpose.

Books Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser + The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson

Scripture Mentioned: James 5:16, Ephesians 5:8 + Romans 11:22

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Intentional Fatherhood Website (for Diagram of Framework)

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In the final episode of season one, we explore what it means to find meaning, beauty, and art as fathers.

In response to last week’s episode on work, this one turns toward the life-giving pursuits that bring us joy. This conversation is an invitation to remember that you were created to delight — that deep within each of us is a longing for beauty and a desire to pursue what lights us up from the inside out. Whether it’s music, poetry, travel, fitness, writing, reading, camping, cold plunging, or even mushroom hunting, discovering what brings you joy is part of becoming a whole, grounded father.

We also touch on the tendency to overdo hobbies as a form of escape — and how, when rightly ordered, these passions aren’t distractions but sacred spaces where peace, contentment, and even healing can take root.

We share some of our own hobbies — both the ones we enjoy alone and the ones we share with our kids — and how they’ve helped shape the fathers we are today. More than that, we explore how delight can become a doorway into deeper connection with your children.

Because in the end, our family may be the greatest thing we ever create — and life itself may be our most meaningful work of art.

We close season one with a final blessing — a prayer to remind us that we simply cannot do fatherhood without guidance from our Heavenly Father.

Book Mentioned: The Sabbath: Its Meaning for Modern Man by Abraham Heschel

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Fatherhood is more than raising children — it’s about showing up in the world as a worker. You were created to work. Not just to earn a paycheck, but to cultivate, build, and serve others through your vocation.

This week, we explore the vocational calling within our Intentional Fatherhood diagram, focusing on God’s original design for work starting in Genesis. From the very beginning, we were made to “garden” the world — to shape it with care and intention.

But work isn’t always easy. We talk about the pain, frustration, and resistance we encounter — what Scripture calls the “thorns and thistles” — and how that struggle can actually become a place of deep sanctification. We reflect on the pursuit of the vocational “trifecta”: doing what you’re good at, what you love, and what the world actually needs.

Each of us shares personal stories from the early, often hidden years of our careers — seasons marked by uncertainty, obscurity, and growth. Looking back, we see how God used those years to develop humility, dependence, and deeper intimacy with Him.

We also wrestle with the tension between overwork and idleness. Sometimes we throw ourselves into our jobs to avoid the demands of home life. But Scripture reminds us: idle hands aren’t the answer either. So how do we stay “busy but balanced”?

We get honest about work, purpose, and presence — in our jobs and in our families — in this week’s episode.

Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 1, Genesis 3:18 + Lamentations 3:27

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Feeling overwhelmed as a father? Like you’re constantly reacting instead of leading with intention? Maybe you lose your temper more than you’d like or feel like you’re just running a daycare with someone you used to date. You might even wonder if you’re failing as a dad.

In this episode, we get honest about the struggles of fatherhood and explore how simple, consistent habits can shape the atmosphere of your home. From bedtime liturgies and breath prayers to marriage rhythms and boundaries around technology, we unpack small yet meaningful habits — often formed through our own failures and weaknesses — that have become tools of spiritual formation in our families.

The truth is: we become our habits, and our children become us. The routines and rhythms in your home aren’t just daily tasks; they’re shaping the hearts and minds of your family. You already have habits unfolding — responses, defaults, routines. The question is whether you’re being intentional about them. In moments of conflict or chaos, these habits often determine your reaction. So how do we practice our way into something more grounded and loving?

God isn’t waiting outside the mess of our homes — He’s right in the middle of it. The gospel lives in the ordinary friction and beauty of parenting. These small habits, practiced with consistency and grace, can begin to rewire how we love our spouse, our kids, and the God who’s with us in it all.

These rhythms won’t change God’s love for you — but God’s love for you should change your rhythms. So be intentional.

Scripture Mentioned: 1 Peter 3:7

Book Mentioned: Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms by Justin Whitmel Earley

Resources Mentioned: Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting Resource, Hang 10 Movement + Digital Rule of Life PDF

Bedtime Liturgy:

Father: Do you see my eyes?

Child: Yes.

Father: Can you see that I see your eyes?

Child: Yes.

Father: Do you know that I love you?

Child: Yes.

Father: Do you know that I love you no matter what bad things you do?

Child: Yes.

Father: Do you know that I love you no matter what good things you do?

Child: Yes.

Father: Who else loves you like that?

Child: Jesus.

Father: Rest in that love.

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Intentional Fatherhood Website (for Diagram of Framework)

Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ on Instagram

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Intentional: Website + Instagram

Justin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram