Dad Bite

It's just getting weirder out there, and Christian and Michelle are here to not offer their help. Join them as they break down the latest events, starting with the things we teach our children in "Not my Homeschool," bums on a mattress, what a "d-bag" is, and the gross things our kids do. Finally, they stop to consider the non-scientific explanation behind the "dad sneeze," replete with an all-out Dad Sneeze competition that nobody could possibly win.

There's a lot to think about in this day and age, like why Christian suddenly loses his mind when he talks to Tweaker Trolls... or whether or not his daughters might be eaten by wolves in the middle of the night. Michelle throws in her two cents, too, with tales of visiting the DMV during the Covid era with her soon-to-be licensed 16-year-old. Finally, we introduce a new segment for Dad Bite called "You Think You're Better Than Me?" where we discuss other parents who claim to be better at this than we are (they are).

Happy Father's Day! In this episode, we celebrate the grossness of being a dad ("Captain Sweaty"), the economics of child labor, and some generally bad tips on parenting. To top it all off, we revel in the poetic glory one of Christian's perennial favorites, Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears.

In this episode of our Weekday Interlude, a.k.a "The Sh**show Review," Christian ruminates on having a midlife birthday, the state of being a dad, and the inevitability of becoming your own dad. Along the way, we also take the time to relive the first time Christian heard his dad curse, as well as what it's like to smell a 3-year-old's fart.

This bi-week on Dad Bite we discuss giving cigarettes to 5-year-olds, the weird allure of ASMR (don't ask), and the futility of homeschooling. It's a sure sign that we're all going to Dairy Queen in a handbasket.

Time to discuss the finer points in life, like the difference between boys and girls, how we're all sh*** preschool teachers, and why certain protests are just pointless. To top it off, we mourn the loss of the iconic "Hood to Coast" for the year... and all the rudeness missed because of it.

Our new co-host Michelle finally joins us from the deep, dark recesses of parenting in the time of Corona. To celebrate her emergence, she and Christian discuss Voodoo Doughnuts, ugly toes, and saying "f***" at home... and for good measure, they even throw in a philosophical discussion about the Tao Te Ching.

Fred, a.k.a. "Bompa," stops by to talk about raising daughters and what it was like to see his own daughter marry the host of this show (Christian). Join us for these awkward moments and more (including 3-year-old swearing sprees, rock-paper-scissors, and adventures in septic maintenance).

We're all in this together... from our separate homes. Christian lays out the updates on a new reality of childcare, where children are now in the custody of parents who have no idea how to actually care for kids-- much less their own kids. To help entertain all the tiny miscreants out there, Christian shares his latest rendition of "Dad's F***d Up Stories"; finally, he hints at a new co-host coming to the show.

Hang in there, dads. And moms. And everyone else.

A how-to episode on what not to do when your 5-year-old daughter starts getting Valentines cards; how to recognize a melodic dog fart; and finally, Jeremy stops by to educate us on how to kill an elk with your car and make sure it still tastes good.