Dad Tired

Does it make sense for God to say, "Do not be afraid" based on how you're living right now?

If you put the 66 books of the Bible into just one sentence, what would you say the Bible is all about? In today's episode, Chris Hilken talks through some confusion of the Bible and what it means for us as dads who are trying to lead our family well.

Podcast Discussion Questions for your Meet Up Group:

1. Do you see yourself as a theologian? Why or why not? How can you become a better theologian?
2. What’s the Bible about? If you had just one sentence, what would you say?
3. Do you see the topics (marriage; parenting; comfort; etc.) of the Bible as part of the grand narrative (which is God redeeming us) of the Bible?
4. How can you better understand or live out the grand narrative of the Bible?
5. How right now am I playing a role in Gods redemptive plan to move sinners and enemies to children and heirs in His kingdom?

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Every marriage will face disaster. Illness or cancer. Job loss or financial burdens. Addiction. Anxiety. Infidelity. Loss of faith. It's not a question of if your marriage will face trials. It's a question of when. 

Whether you've been married for five years or fifty, your marriage will either become part of the problem or part of the solution, and it's within your power to ensure your marriage is prepared for those seasons, is a place of refuge and safety throughout those seasons, and can recover well after those seasons. 

In today's episode of the Dad Tired podcast, host Jerrad Lopes sits down with best-selling author Gary Thomas (Sacred Marriage) to talk through how to build a marriage that can withstand life's many storms.

Podcast Discussion Questions for your Meet Up Group:

1. Do you look at your marriage as something that draws you closer to God?
2. What if you looked at and leaned into your marriage as a place where God is challenging you and showing you weaknesses in your character?
3. Is there some characteristic/attitude that you have in your life outside of the home that you need to check to connect with your family at home.
4. What are you chasing after to make you happy? Is it the kingdom of God? (Matt. 6:33)
5. Are you trying to turn your wife into a “love me how I want to be loved machine?” Or do you want to treat your wife like Christ who came not to be served but to serve.
6. Are you spiritually healthy enough to handle life when the storm hits? Will your marriage be a refuge or part of the problem.
7. Are you training your brain to escape the pain and pressure in your life today, that may only get worse when the storm comes?

Questions from Jerrad and Gary

1. What is Gods agenda for my marriage? 
2. What if your wife needs joy today in what she is doing? 
3. Do I expect my wife/kids to exist for me? Or am I here to serve them and love them and help them grow?
4. How can you cherish your wife if you are living in terror of her finding you out? 
5. What does your spiritual life look like outside of you wife? Are you relying on your wife’s relationship with Jesus?

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On today's episode of the Dad Tired podcast, host Jerrad Lopes sits down with Patrick Morley to talk about the Four Voices playing out in the heads of most men.

Questions for your local meet up:

1. Do you know God loves you because he made you or are you working hard to be acceptable to God? Do you need to accept God‘s grace?
2. The 4 voices in your head: The world, the flesh, the devil, the Holy Spirit. What voice do you feel like you hear the most? Is there one of those voices that you struggle to hear?
3. What does the voice of the world normally tell you? What does the Bible say in contrast to that?
4. What does your Bible reading habit it look like? Are you reading the word everyday?
5. Are you serving someone else? Do you have any ideas on how/who to serve?
6. Do you take the Devil seriously? What does it look like to give him the respect he deserves but also treat him like you know God is more powerful?
7. What are you taking in? What podcast, music, apps, news, social media are you meditating on? Is it beneficial or should it be cut out?
8. Are you aware of your spiritual strengths and weakness’? Does it shape the decisions you make? If not, how can it?
9. Are you seeking the God you want, or are you seeking the God who is? What is the difference?

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On today's episode of the Dad Tired podcast, host Jerrad Lopes shares what it looks like to teach our children how to remember the faithfulness of God, and why that's so critical to their faith journey.

Questions for your local meet up:

Do you trust the good reputation of God? How can you impart this on your family and children?

Are you good at remembering the Goodness of God?

How do you mark specific seasons in your life? If you are not, how would you like to mark specific seasons in your life?

What impact does this or would this have on your legacy if you do/did this well?

Do you worship God in seasons that God is faithful to you?

What distracts you from praising God in moments where He was faithful to you?

What are some ways that you can remember Gods faithfulness when you are in a season that isn’t exactly what you hoped?

What are some major moments in your life that you can look back on and remember Gods faithfulness?

How can we enter seasons good or bad with an attitude that we know how the whole story ends(God making all things new), even if we don’t know how this season ends?

How can looking at life in seasons or chapters help us lead our families better?

Jerrad’s questions in his podcasts

1. As a son of God, what does it look like for you to remember?

2. What does it look like for you to teach your kids to stop and remember?

3. What season are you in right now? Are you in the middle of something hard? Are you in the middle of a Good season? Are you in the middle of something big? Are you about to start a season? Are you coming out of a season?

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In today's episode, host Jerrad Lopes sits down with Pastor and Author Winfield Bevins to talk about how liturgy leads to family worship.

Questions for your local meet up:

1. Are you familiar with liturgical practices, or are they fairly new to you?
2. The liturgical structure of the early church would have been to gather, read the scriptures, eat, and then be sent out. In what ways can you model this structure in your home and with your family? 
3. When thinking about “gathering”, who in your current life could you gather in your home? 
4. How can you structure rhythms within your home where the scripture is read, memorized, and valued?
5. Does your family practice a regular sabbath? What would it look like for you to value a day of rest as a family?
6. What would it look like for you to “lean in” more to your local church?
7. If you think of your home as a “little church” what would you do differently on a given week? 
8. When you think about re-capturing the dinner table, what comes to mind? Are there rules or rhythms that you can set within your family that would allow the dinner table to become a more sacred space? How could you use your dinner table as a way to live on mission in your neighborhood?

Table top fire-pit mentioned in the episode: click here.

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What does spiritual leadership look like practically in real-life? Do you have the right expectations for yourself when it comes to leading your family well? In episode two of the Killing The Myths of Spiritual Leadership Series, we talk about the actions that spiritual leaders take.

Questions for your meet-up:

• God used Jesus to make peace with the world and show people what the kingdom is like. Now, as Jesus followers, or ‘ambassadors’, we are called to show our family what the kingdom is like. How does this reality change the way you think about parenting? (Minute 9 of the episode)
• As an ambassador for Christ and his Kingdom, what are you biggest goals for your children and family? What do you want to be said of them at the end of their life? (Minute 10 of the podcast)
• When you think about the verse that says “follow me as I follow Christ” in the context of your parenting and marriage, what thoughts and emotions come to mind? (minute 15)
• What are some regular situations in your family life that can turn into Gospel-tunities, if you were more intentional? (minute 17)
• When do you find yourself wanting to disengage most as an intentional dad? (Minute 20)
• What’s the last thing you had to apologize to your wife or kids for doing? How did it go? Would you consider yourself a good ‘apologizer’? If not, where do you need to grow in that area? (Minute 22)
• Are there any areas of your personal life where you feel like you’re modeling discipleship well for your kids? Are there areas you can improve? If so, how do you feel led to grow in terms of modeling discipleship for your family? (minute 27)

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What does spiritual leadership look like practically in real-life? Do you have the right expectations for yourself when it comes to leading your family well?

Questions for your meet-up group:

1. How would you define “spiritual leadership?” Would you consider yourself a spiritual leader? Why or why not? 
2. Are there certain areas of your life where you’re more prone to “selfish ambition?
3. Would you say you have a “right view” of yourself? Do you tend to have a puffed up view of yourself, Or do you tend to have more Eeyore syndrome and see yourself too “low” or less-than?
4. What does 'meekness' or 'power under control' look like as a husband and father?
5. If you acted like today was your wife's birthday, what would you do differently?
6. What does it mean to have an attitude like Christ when it comes to you as a father and husband?
7. How does the character of Jesus change the way you serve your family? Does it change the way you think about equality of fairness within your marriage and home?

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Jerrad Lopes sits down with former NFL quarterback Jeff Kemp to talk about what real-life Godly friendships look like for the busy dad.

Discussion Questions for your meet-up:

1. In the past, has it been easy or hard for your to find deep and meaningful relationships with Godly men?
2. How did becoming a dad change your friendships?
3. What do you think stops men from going beyond surface level conversation?
4. Are there any guys who really know you at a deep level?
5. What stops you from being more vulnerable with Godly men?
6. How would you describe a healthy friendship with another Godly man? Is that something you have? Is that something you're looking for?
7. Describe the best-case scenario for having deep and meaningful friendships. What does that look like in real life?

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In today's episode of the Dad Tired podcast, host Jerrad Lopes sits down with Sathiya Sam to talk through the root problems of porn habits, and how to overcome them.

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Discussion questions for your meet-up:

1. How were you first exposed to pornography?
2. What has been the biggest cost porn has had on your life?
3. When you have engaged in pornography (or other sexual misbehavior), what does it offer you on an emotional level (ie. comfort, escape, connection, acceptance, etc)?
4. What does "addressing the root issues" mean to you in this context? What might that look like practically?
5. Who is the most impacted by you getting free of porn?
6. What else changes in your life when you get completely free?
7. What is one further step you can take in your recovery today?