Dad Without Borders

This is a chance to share some recent "wins" as a long-distance parent and offer some hot tips to anyone that might need some advice in navigating long-distance relationships with their kids. It is not easy to be away from your kids, even for a week. I have to deal with many months separated from my oldest son who lives in the UK, and making him feel like a part of my family here in Canada is not an easy task. But my three young sons are incredibly close and this it the result of thoughtful, creative parenting. I hope this short episode provides some hope for other dads that might be struggling.

This week I share my recent experience with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) - dealing with the trauma of a child custody trial - as an effective way to deal with any residue impact on the mind and body. It was a really interesting and productive experience for me and I want to encourage other Dads to consider seeking therapy in some form if they have not already done so. As part of the parenting journey, we need to own our own shit and confront our demons to become the best parents we can be - in my opinion. Kids are our best teachers, so it's a great opportunity for personal development.

This leads to a reflection on parenting from a distance with a child overseas, and actually how it's possible to be as connected as any day-to-day parent, if not more so. I then touch on current challenges with our three-year-old boy that anyone with young kids might be able to relate to - and how we are dealing with it.

A great conversation about how to show up as a parent with the author of Parenting for a Peaceful Home.

Drew Tupper is an Author, life coach, husband, and father of two. He has dedicated his life to seeking truth and creating purpose. He practices these intentions by examining and analyzing questions such as: Why are we here? How should we live? What matters? And how can we BE so that our lives are an outward projection of our being? He has overcome struggle and knows what it feels like to feel stuck, angry, and lost. His life is a testament to the adage that growth is not always a straightforward path, but that it is always a worthwhile pursuit. In his words, he “found liberation in loving himself unconditionally,” which “allows him to create his life, rather than react.” Now, this is what he helps his clients do.

Do you have to try really hard to be successful? Or do you need to tune into your self and act from a place of calm, so you can co regulate with your kids. Energy is everything when you are parenting. If you want to find a way to calm your child, this is a good episode for you. Do you ever had a bad reaction to your child crying? Like me, have you been obsessed by nap times and do you know how to regulate yourself so you don't freak out? We also talk about acceptance and forgiving yourself. Consider the impact of your tone with your kids. How were we impacted by our upbringing. What happens to adults that were raised with a negative tone? What kind of tone do we need to have?

The key takeaway could be that we all need to 'do the work' and seek professional guidance as we navigate parenting. Or maybe just subscribe and listen to all these episodes.

I was in a counselling session yesterday with Catherine Williams, a registered social worker. A friend of the show and someone who has been a great source of inspiration and support over the years.

One of the topics that was discussed was the fact that it is important that kids don't feel responsible for their parent's emotions. This had me reflecting on some of the situation I have been in as a parent, when I am being triggered or I voice my frustrations.

It was a great reminder for me to watch my language and actions around my three children to make sure I am taking ownership of how I feel and not putting expectations on them to show up in a certain was to appease me.

I also share a brief update of how things are going for our family with a new baby, and the relationship of the siblings.

This is an insightful conversation with Emily, a screentime aka tech intentional consultant. Screentime is a challenge for most of us in the modern world. As parents we can't avoid the additional challenges that this brings. How much screen time is too much? At what age is it okay for our kids to have a social media account? And what about phones? How does screentime impact their behaviour?

"Being tech-intentional™ means only using screen-based technology that enhances, nurtures, and supports yourself, your child, or your family in a way that aligns with your values, and resisting screen use that interferes with healthy mental, physical, cognitive, and emotional development." Emily Cherkin, The Screentime Consultant

The issue of screen access and the desire for kids to have their own devices is a battlefield in many homes and added stress for parents. Emily has some great advice to offer and if you have young kids, now is a great time to start thinking about solutions and building a framework around screentime and access to the internet. It also helps that both parents are on the same team - so this podcast episode is for both parents!

We have a new baby boy! Dad Without Borders is back after a summer break enjoying family time as we transition into life with a new baby and juggling the needs of three sons aged 0, 3 and 9. I have lots more to say about this, but in this episode I focus on sharing my experience of welcoming our baby boy into the world.

So the baby is now several days over due. We are waiting patiently for labour to start. We are all feeling calm but are we ready?

I am sharing some post labour thoughts as we get ready for the big event. Is it time to head to the hospital? Will the mid wife make it on time? Is it time to leave the home and head to the hospital. We are an hour drive from the hospital and the mid wife is even further away. Do we pull the trigger and leave our toddler with family and friends?

As we prepare ourselves for a huge family shift, I am looking forward to sharing the adventures of a new born and an international blended family. As if life was not already complicated enough but I am really looking forward to the next phase of our family.

Please enjoy!

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This episode starts with a brief update as today is the due date of our baby boy (my third son). I then get into conversation with Eric Taylor aka The Breastfeeding Father, an ex military man who is now studying clinical psychology with a focus on children and adolescents. Eric is based in Canada with his wife and baby, but it also has a young daughter living in the USA. Covid has been incredibly challenging for them with a long period of separation between him and his daughter.

We talk about international parenting, the role of the father with new borns and babies, supporting Mothers breastfeeding, the importance of understanding and forgiving his father, engaging with a child in a long distance relationship, the need for more information for Dads in their role in the child and parent relationship, and more.

This is a great conversation for any Dads (or Moms), wondering about their role as fathers, especially with young children. There were some great reminders for me, as I prepare to welcome our son to the world and get ready to support the Mom in child birth and postpartum.

Please enjoy!

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadwithoutborders/

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This is a great conversation with Curt Storring from Dad.Work. We share the struggles of becoming a father. The episode starts with some personal updates, including the fact that we are about to have a baby (boy number 3!) and gearing up for that reality.

In this episode we learn about Curt who lives in an authentic way as a father after a difficult transition to parenting left him feeling "overwhelmed, angry and lonely" ultimately not being the father that he wanted to be.

"The first few years of fatherhood were hard for me. I was so overwhelmed, angry, and lonely, that it caused chaos in every other part of my life. My suffering was so great that I finally had to face the problem head-on and do something about it, or risk losing everything. My marriage, my family, my business…"

Curt decided to dive deep when he realized that... "To become a better father, I needed to go one step deeper and learn how to truly become a better man."

He now runs a platform supporting men and fathers become better versions of themselves and I highly recommend that you check out Dad.Work to find out more.

Please enjoy! LIKE, SHARE and FOLLOW these pages:

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A conversation with Nathan, founder of Dads Advocate.

There are a couple of personal parenting thoughts at the start of this podcast. First, I encourage all parents to take their young children to their local skatepark. This may well be the main theme of a future episode. There are so many reasons to visit your local skatepark with your young children. Second, I receive a heart warming message from my eldest boy (8 years old) who lives overseas (when he isn't visiting for his holidays).

This week I am in conversation with is Nathan from Dad Advocates who is juggling a household of 5 young children after winning custody of his 3 biological children. As a result of his experience in court and the ups and downs of dealing with access and child custody issues he has decided to set up Dad Advocates, which is now a registered charity, to support other fathers. He has some good advice for any parent going through a separation with kids and the often inevitable day in court.

For further information: https://dadsadvocates.com/

Please enjoy! LIKE, SHARE and FOLLOW these pages:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadwithoutborders/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dad-Without-Borders-104442641427419

Website: https://dad-without-borders-e10084dc.simplecast.com/