As a teenager, Jay Heck watched his father take a risk for God that changed the trajectory of their lives. Jay reached a similar crossroads when he became a husband and father: he could continue to live in fear or take a risk and trust God completely. He wants every father to know that they can choose the latter.

Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• Three questions to ask your kids: How am I doing as a dad? What's one thing I do really well? What's one area that I can improve upon?
• Your child's lens of what it means to be a believer comes from the risks you take.
• You can only be honest and vulnerable with God when you believe he is kind.
• If you believe lies about your identity, you're always going to be angry no matter how perfect your life appears.

Jay Heck

Jay Heck is the founder and director of Being Songs, a ministry helping men discover that authentic, fearless, God-designed manhood begins by being a son.

Key Quotes

• 9:45 - "God has Fathered me, and that's a term that I throw out quite frequently... Just the worldview change, that God's actually Fathering us and initiating us in the uninitiated places."
• 18:32 - "Truth be told, my journey, as a son, from God's perspective, has been since before the foundations of the earth... even before He knit me together in my mother's womb. He's always had a plan. He's always had, in His heart, throughout the course of history, to create me, to create you, to create every one of you who's listening to this, to be the object of His affection, to be the object of His love, and to bring us into maturity. That's always been His goal."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• Being Sons Website
• Being Sons Podcast
• Being Sons Blog
• Being Sons Upcoming Events

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618

In this episode, Ken Canfield shares the remaining behaviors from The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers, plus how to uncover a bonus secret. He provides actionable advice for grandparents who want to leave a great legacy, mend broken relationships, and be involved in their grandchildren's lives.

Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers
• There is a ripple effect when a dad takes faith seriously.
• You will discover an eighth secret on your fatherhood journey, and you need to share it with others when you do.
• Grandparents have an important role in preserving heritage, pursuing reconciliation, and passing along knowledge to their grandchildren.

Dr. Ken Canfield

Dr. Ken Canfield is a nationally known leader, scholar, and author committed to strengthening fathers and families. He founded the National Center for Fathering and the National Association for Grandparenting in 1990 and 2016, respectively. Ken is blessed with five adult children and 14 grandchildren.

Key Quotes

• 5:26 - "If you are affirming and lifting up the woman who gave you the privilege of becoming a father and you're caring for her, as we see in Ephesians 5, Colossians 3 and other places, that bride is going to not only inform your fathering, but have the tight marriage that we need our children and grandchildren to see as models."
• 18:27 - "When we get this, what I call generational strength and solidarity, it brings a joy not only to you as a grandparent, but you can feel that you're getting ready to get promoted and at that promotion, you're going to see somebody that will say, you did the best you could. Well done, my son."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• Grandkids Matter
• The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers: Becoming the Father Your Children Need
• National Center for Fathering — Fathers.com

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618

Dr. Ken Canfield has dedicated decades of his life to discovering the secrets of extraordinary fathers. In this episode, he examines the state of fatherhood worldwide and emphasizes the importance of connecting with other fathers and mentors. He also uncovers the first three characteristics you need to be an effective father.

Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• An abundance of resources makes it one of the best times to be a father, but the rates of abuse, fatherlessness, and addiction make it one of the worst.
• You need a battle buddy in your fatherhood journey.
• Recognize that vulnerability is winsome.
• When you fail, humble yourself before the one perfect Father.
• The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers

Dr. Ken Canfield

Dr. Ken Canfield is a nationally known leader, scholar, and author committed to strengthening fathers and families. He founded the National Center for Fathering and the National Association for Grandparenting in 1990 and 2016, respectively. Ken is blessed with five adult children and 14 grandchildren.

Key Quotes

• 11:44 - "There are no perfect fathers except one. And if he is tightly in your heart and your household, and you're just humbly submitting to Him, He's going to bless you. You know why? He's invested in your name. They call him Father."
• 21:32 - "If you're predictable, if your children know what to expect of you, if you keep your promises and this is a subsection of the importance of discipline and giving guidance. Consistency is that benchmark. Think of yourself as the Rock of Gibraltar. And before we had GPS, they used landmarks to mark a course. Your kids are going on a journey. You're a landmark relationally, spiritually and emotionally. And so that consistency is the predictability in who you are and your follow through."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers: Becoming the Father Your Children Need
• National Center for Fathering — Fathers.com

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618

Three years ago, Ben Calhoun gave up fame and status as a touring musician. Instead, he wanted to be around for his family. In this episode, he encourages fathers to realign their priorities with what God has called them to do.

Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• 5 Fs: Faith in Jesus, Family, Friends, Food, Fun
• You have to be present to win.
• Obedience is consistent, faithful steps in the same direction.
• Your priorities dictate your decisions.
• Practical ideas for how to help your children memorize Scripture.

Ben Calhoun

Ben Calhoun is a musician, children's book author, husband, and father to three girls. He is the founder and frontman for the contemporary Christian band CITIZEN WAY. Ben and his family reside in Franklin, Tennessee.

Key Quotes

• 00:45 - "The best thing I could do is teach them [to love God's Word] and enjoy it myself. If you're enjoying it yourself, they will naturally follow you. Just open the Word as a family, pick a verse and memorize it. Put it on your wall, have every kid write it on a little thing and put it in their mirror or whatever. Do something."
• 33:12 - "There's a security that only comes with the father. That's the way it was supernaturally designed from the Father. And it does not work any other way."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• Follow Ben on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bencalhoun/
• Follow Ben on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bencalhoun
• Follow Ben on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3DoB8IT5SRyA12rBhSqVkW?si=-yUbC3q1T--zHYm7-fSBNw
• Buy Ben's book: https://www.bencalhoun.com/product-page/savannah-s-pajamas

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618

It's time to get fired up as a father. In this episode, Rob Hoskins will challenge you to examine your family's mission, plant yourself in God's plan for your life, and go all-in as a father.

Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• As a dad, do you fight for your kids or take flight?
• Don't just protect your kids from the world; raise them to be agents of transformation in the world.
• Are you potted, or are you planted?
• How you instill family values must be individualized for each of your kids.
• The 5 D Framework: Discover, Design, Deploy, Document, Dream.

Rob Hoskins

Rob Hoskins is an author, blogger, and the president of OneHope, which has partnered with local churches to reach more than 1.8 billion children and youth with God's Word. Rob and his wife, Kim, have two married daughters and three grandchildren.

Key Quotes

• 19:37 - "I don't think my daughters ever heard a negative word about dad travel. Because [Kim] had woven into our family's reality the fact that Dad was on mission and that we're on mission, that they knew where I was, what I was doing and why I was doing it. So there was a real intentionality about the purpose of our family."
• 34:02 - "I feel like fathers have sold their birthright as a dad and that right of fatherhood. I mean, can you imagine that God the Father chooses as His most supreme title, as Father. Not King, not Lord. He is Father. He is Abba. And that moniker, that honor is the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, God of all. That's the title He wears most proudly."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• OneHope's Website
• Book: Change Your World

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618

Are you parenting in the same way God parents you? This is one of the big questions Amanda Carrara asks in this episode. As a mother, writer, and parenting coach, she shares valuable knowledge and wisdom about how to create connection in your home by looking at parenting from a new perspective.

Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• When your children successfully launch from your house, what characteristics do you want them to have?
• Being a parent is an invitation to lean into a relationship with your Heavenly Father.
• You keep yourself from experiencing the joys of parenthood when you deny negative emotions such as frustration.
• The #1 hidden parenting tool is to pause and acknowledge your child's experiences.
• Do you have margin in your life for sacred interruptions?

Amanda Carrara

Amanda Carrara is a speaker, writer, and parenting coach passionate about helping others experience a parenting revival. Amanda and her husband have three children and live in Mahtomedi, Minnesota.

Key Quotes

• 8:29 - "I always say that parenting begins within us. So I think about the scripture from 1 John 4 that we love because He first loved us. And so as a parent we actually don't have the capacity to show up for our kids the way that we really want the desire that we have until we've received that from the Father. And so being a parent is actually a gift and an invitation to lean in your relationship with your Heavenly Father. And so it's all of that outpouring of receiving from Him that we can give to our kids."
• 12:58 - "There is so much power in the pause. Your tool is noticing your child's experience."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• Revival Parenting Website
• How to start Revival Parenting

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618

In the second part of this conversation, Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield leans into the practical actions fathers can take to connect with their daughters. She analyzes how to make 1-on-1s more effective and breaks down three of the most important skills you can implement starting today. Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• If your daughter is pushing you away or is estranged, put your love in writing.
• Soften your tone by starting questions with the words, "I'm wondering…".
• Fight for your daughter by proactively putting positive, handwritten messages on her mirror.
• Your anger has more destructive power than you'll ever know.

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield has dedicated the last 13 years to empowering fathers to turn their hearts toward their daughters. In addition to writing two books for dads of daughters, she is the founder of The Abba Project and has hosted The Dad Whisperer Podcast since 2016.

Key Quotes

• 07:12 - "The power of your written word on her mirror, on the sticky note, or even just writing her little card. Your handwritten messages, in this time of technology, are things that that will... last the test of time."
• 21:38 - "Drop your anger. I know that's easier said than done, but, Dad, your anger will do more to shut down the core of who she is, to mar her spirit, to defeat her confidence, tear her down. Your anger has more destructive power than you'll ever know."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• Dr. Canfield's Website
• Dr. Canfield's Books
• The Dad Whisperer Podcast

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield recognizes that dads need to turn their hearts—not just their heads—towards their daughters. In this episode, she shares several tools you can add to your fatherhood toolbox to engage your daughter's heart.

Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• When you look into your child's eyes, especially when you're angry, you'll respond differently.
• Connect with your daughter's heart each night by asking, "How have I been sharp with you today, and will you forgive me?"
• You will never regret waiting to discipline your child until after you have calmed down.
• The best antidote to saving your daughter from a dud is engaging her at the heart level.
• Lead your daughter to laugh, love, look, lament, and listen.

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield has dedicated the last 13 years to empowering fathers to turn their hearts toward their daughters. In addition to writing two books for dads of daughters, she is the founder of The Abba Project and has hosted The Dad Whisperer Podcast since 2016.

Key Quotes

• 7:44 - "But again, we all give out what we have. So if you are in a place where you don't know how to be gentle with yourself or quiet before the Lord to let Him convict you or speak to you, it's going to be harder to give that out. But it starts with you having times, I would say with God, where you listen and soften your heart. Because don't we love how Proverbs 15 says, a soft answer turns away wrath?"
• 12:29 - "The best antidote to saving your daughter from the dudes and the duds is you engage at a heart level by asking her questions. How did my response impact you? How did that make you feel? All those heart words."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• Dr. Canfield's Website
• Dr. Canfield's Books
• The Dad Whisperer Podcast

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618

As a mom to three adult children, Deborah Porter knows that small moments of intentionality can have a lifelong impact on children. In this episode, Deborah equips fathers with real-life examples and ideas to trust God, take leadership, and pursue work/life balance.

Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• Insert your presence into your family as much as possible, even if you're not physically there.
• If there is a riff between you and your child, be the one to reach out first.
• You never know what you'll unlock when you willingly choose to forgive.
• Dads can take leadership in three key areas: fun, prayer, and household chores.
• Acknowledge your fear, but don't parent out of fear.

Deborah Porter

Deborah Porter is an influential voice and media contributor on parenting and motherhood. She and her husband, Clif, have been married for nearly 34 years and have three adult children. Deborah provides resources and coaching focused on the intersectionality of work, life, and family.

Key Quotes

• 6:49 - "There are always going to be things that are going to want to pull you from your commitment from where your heart really wants to be. Just be really intentional of protecting what's really special."
• 17:16 - "We oftentimes don't know what we unlock when we willingly choose to forgive... So many times just the act of obedience just unlocks so much more that God has for us."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• Deborah's Website

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618

The words you say to your children have power. In this episode, Justin Hanneken shares how and why to speak blessings over your children. He also shares strategies for modeling missions to your family, pressing into prayer, and fasting for a breakthrough.

Full SHOW NOTES for today's conversation

Key Takeaways

• Take your children on a 10-Year-Old Adventure so they can live their faith outside the walls of the church.
• The words "always" and "never" become curses when you speak them negatively toward your children.
• You can ask your spiritual father for his blessing over you.
• When your children come to you with hurt or challenges, seize the moment to speak life into them.
• Physical hunger can reveal spiritual hunger for believers of all ages.

Justin Hanneken

Justin Hanneken and his wife, Karena, have been married for 18 years and have 5 children. Justin serves as the executive director of Ends of the Earth Cycling, which has hosted 34 Christ-centered cycling tours that have raised over $1 million for global youth ministry.

Key Quotes

• 29:09 - "Prayer is our first work. So basically, as Christians, we want to serve the Lord, we want to do things for God. But a lot of times we just jump right into those things and we haven't spent time in prayer. And so for dads that are listening, I just want to encourage you, pray for your family daily, pray for your your family by name."
• 34:30 - "If you're a follower of Jesus, he says in the New Testament, when you fast and then He talks about what we should do. It's not if you fast, it's basically assume that if you're Christian, fasting is going to be part of what you do."

Links From Today's Conversation

• Full Transcript of the Conversation
• Ends of the Earth Cycling
• YouthHOPE website

Connect with dadAWESOME

• Learn about our FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS events in 2023: https://f4f.bike/
• Follow @dadawesome on Instagram
• Make a Donation to dadAWESOME (tax-deductible)
• Join the dadAWESOME Prayer Team
• Receive weekly encouragement by texting "dad" to 651-370-8618