Part eight of Twin Peaks: The Return is officially the weirdest television ever made, but will that stop our team doing their best to describe what just happened? Absolutely not.

There's a double cross, a chorus-line of charcoal men acting as paranormal paramedics. Atoms are split and minds are blown. Finally, we see a phallic creature emerge from an egg. It is a cockroach? Is it a frog?

No! It's a cockfrog!

Links:

• Manichaeism

Part seven of Twin Peaks: The Return sees the discovery of missing pieces that shed a light on the mystery of Laura Palmer's death. Andy does some police work (almost). We say farewell to Dr Hayward (via Skype), and say hello to some dirty, dusky woodsmen.

Critically, Diane meets Mr C but she is not convinced of his identity. He is missing something where his heart should be.

Ike might be good with a spike, but when he has a gun - he ain't no match for Cooper and Janey-E.

And finally: Ben! I'm so high!

Part six of Twin Peaks: The Return sees Janey-E putting some Vegas loan sharks in their place, while Cooper receives two pieces of sage advice: wake up and don't die.

Hawk finds the missing pieces he's been searching for, plus we finally see the face of a very familiar and well-loved character.

Links:

• The Dharma Bums

Part five of Twin Peak: The Return shows us what happens if you're a casino manager who has 29 jackpots occur on his watch. The world's least effective assassins blow up Dougie's car along with some unwitting car thieves. Dr Jacoby is hosting his very own conspiracy vodcast, and Bad Cooper finally gets his phone call.

But the question still remains: why won't anyone call Good Cooper an ambulance?

Links:

• Windswept

Part four of Twin Peaks: The Return sees good Cooper reunited with coffee, his new foster family and a sack full of his casino winnings. Bobby Briggs is still looking for drugs, but this time as a cop. Bad Cooper finds himself in jail when the contents of his trunk show he is a very sick individual. Plus Wally Brando rides in to Twin Peaks pay his respects.

Links:

• Travesty

Part three, and good Cooper is transported to yet another waiting room where time moves in even more peculiar ways. He makes his way out using the power of electricity and experiences his nativity on earth as a new-born being. It's enough to make bad Cooper sick.

Links:

• Nativity

Part two sees the events in Buckhorn, South Dakota start to piece together. Plus now the ground rules are laid for good and bad Cooper: one must return to the Black Lodge in order for the other to leave.

Links:

• Tommy Wiseau

Part one of Twin Peaks: The Return is in our sights this week.

Links:

• The Secret History of Twin Peaks: A Novel