In this episode of The Redeemed Marriage Podcast, we found ourselves feeling a little nostalgic. With our oldest son’s wedding just days away and a Chicago concert on the calendar, it got us thinking back to when we first started dating and how much things have changed since the 80s and 90s.

We started remembering what dating used to look like—waiting by the phone for a call, long conversations on a corded line, making mixtapes from the radio, writing notes, and actually planning out time together. Back then, intentionality wasn’t something you had to think about…it was just part of the process. Everything took a little more effort, a little more patience, and honestly, a little more heart.

In this conversation, we talk through some of the biggest differences between dating then and now, and how the convenience we have today can sometimes crowd out the kind of pursuit that keeps a relationship strong. We laugh about some of those old memories—printed photos, handwritten notes, uninterrupted time together—but we also get honest about how easy it is now to settle for shallow connection, even though we’re more “connected” than ever.

The big takeaway for us is this: relationships haven’t changed as much as the level of intentionality has. What used to be built in, we now have to choose. And if we’re not careful, we can drift into comfort without continuing to pursue one another.

Our hope with this episode is to encourage you to bring some of that effort back into your marriage. Not in a forced or complicated way, but in simple, meaningful ways—planning time together, being fully present, and choosing connection over convenience. Because one of the greatest gifts in marriage is comfort, but the pursuit should never stop.

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