A few years ago I was counseling a couple who were angry with each other. During our counseling, I asked the wife what was wrong with the marriage. Without hesitation or skipping a beat, she gave me a long, clear, and detailed list of all the things that were wrong with her husband. There was was no question about it: he was a failure. Because I like to play fair, I turned to the lady’s husband and asked him about the state of their marriage. Without flinching or taking a breath, the husband gave me a list of all the things his wife had done wrong in their marriage. There was no question about it: she was a failure. Two people looking at the same thing had two completely different perspectives on how their marriage became such a dysfunctional mess.

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