Is life as an only child with overbearing parents cramping your teenage style? Just wait until your family becomes the talk of the town with the birth of quintuplets! Reality takes a sharp turn for Jamie as the family fights for sanity trying to keep a nanny, sell out for commercial sponsorship, and skirt child labor laws. Put on a fresh diaper and hang on to your (beer)bottles for another exciting and controversial episode of DCOMs with Candy & Suede.

sidetone the audio on this ep isn't the best, suede had a real good time leading up to the recording sorry folks but we will do better next time!

It’s horse girl summer here on DCOMs with Candy & Suede as we race into Ready to Run. In this new Rip Girls meets Doc Dolittle rewrite, Disney explores equine psychology, wearing the clothes your dad died in, and why comedians are always reincarnated as horses. Saddle up y’all, as Corrie and TJ jam through anxiety to make it to the finish line and avoid horsey heaven.

Damn, Disney really meant weird with this one! When freedom fighter Cosmo Cola and his daughter Ariel escape their gaseous home planet, they’re left trying to fit in among the horrid meatbags of Earth. A windsurfing divorcee ends up falling for Cosmo and looks to create a new life along with her kids Megan and Trevor, but not without interference from the fart tyrants. Are gaseous bubbles superior to humans or is a light breeze really all it takes to save Earth from the gassholes of outer space? Find out in this new gas-, soda-, and soup-powered episode as Candy & Suede tear into Stepsister From Planet Weird!

Malcolm in the Middle plays Justin, a Mennonite wheelchair user who dreams of trophies and inclusivity, on his search for the perfect accessible sport. After some casual trespassing, he discovers soap box derby and his new personality. With the help of NASCAR God, cranky neighbor, and anxious athlete bro, Justin becomes successful enough to make it to a national championship...until the ableists come along touting traditionalism! Will Justin’s dream of owning a trophy ever come true or will the man deny access? It’s all downhill from here on another exciting and controversial episode of DCOMs with Candy & Suede.

E como mai to another edition of Brink! but with a different setting and, this time, a GIRL (the lovely Camilla Belle btw). Our main chick Sydney finds that a picturesque Hawiian plantation has been passed down to her from her late mother, which her bogus dad and stepmom want to sell to the tourist industry. Fortunately, she meets with some killer rip girls and learns the true value of the island through friendship and some gnarly waves. In the end it’s all aloha as Candy and Suede drop in, ride the barrel and get pitted, so pitted on the DCOM classic, Rip Girls!

Caught in the historic West vs East Appleton rivalry, Alex and friends find their position on the school bowling team has left them with the ball that could lead West Appleton to victory and snag the legendary Mighty Apple trophy. Enter bigheaded superstar athlete, Todd, to spare his talent to the team and cramp their alley cat style (re:bowling shirts found in dumpsters). Will Todd land a turkey or get kicked out of the alley? Candy & Suede get the ball rolling straight through the gutter in Brink-Bowling edition: Alley Cats Strike!

This ain’t any after school special: based on a true story, that tackles the hard topics of apartheid and racial injustice, The Color of Friendship (2000) examines friendship & inequality in the face of adversity. Candy and Suede get wrecked and examine racist trash, the groovy 70s, how birds work, and tips to not be an asshole in 2021.

Ever felt like you just didn’t belong? Maybe felt you were a little...different than the rest of your family? When Scott Marshall hits his 14th birthday, he realizes he will never measure up to the extraordinary abilities of his family-who happen to all be superheroes. We’ve got an all-star cast, many thanks to Robert Townsend who directs and stars, for one of the earliest Black superhero families to grace film. Don’t worry, there’s still plenty of camp for Candy and Suede to rag on with brainwashing, broccoli everything, and foil ball dodging as we fly higher and higher in the new millennium with Up, Up, and Away

Giddy up losers, we’re going to Disneyland...or maybe just a crappy kiddie corral. After being a major dick to his younger cousin, Tommy, spoiled-ass LA hot shot Michael is forced to pony up on some hard labor at their cattle ranch. From fence building to shit slinging, Tommy serves Michael some harsh reality and whoops him into shape. Saddle up for some unbridled humor with Candy and Suede as we discuss Horse Sense (1999) starring Joey and Andrew Lawrence (and a flirty cameo from Matthew).

Blamed for a recent string of impressively destructive town pranks, teenage Franny takes on help from her brother’s imaginary friend, Larry, by making some grotesque potions and elaborate inventions to defeat the evil Boogey...person?! Candy and Suede roast one of the most obnoxious characters of all time and offensively discuss the scientific method, mass hypnosis, gender inclusion, and solid waste engineering over a cold one in the nightmarish DCOM, Don’t Look Under the Bed.