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Interview with Roman Mironov of NOFAP (4)

Root causes of negative impact on the brain, to cause it to gravitate to self-soothing behaviours?

What do you think were the issues which caused your brain to gravitate to self-soothing from those negative impactful behaviours, during those early developing younger years of life (often before puberty)? Bullying, abuse, sexual abuse, parents arguing, witnessing domestic violence, over zealous punishment, comparison with a sibling, never good enough, not fit in, ostracised, parents’ separation and/or divorce, pressure to perform at school, witnessing assaults, fear for safety of self-and/or others…… (What was yours?)

Use EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing) to first address the event, BEFORE embarking upon a Recovery Programme or a 12 Steps Programme. Make the first thing the first thing first!

You WILL still need a Recovery Programme – to breakdown the negative neural pathways - but by going after the “Cognitve/thinking/ setting up”, you increase the “tendency/propensity” for good outcomes from a Recovery Programme. Make sense?

What was and still is the Emotional event for you? Trauma, Anxiety, Stress, Pain, Fear, Panic Attack, Complicated grief, Grieving, Dissociation, Anger, Phobias, Performance Anxiety, Personality disorders…….?

“Trauma is the external wound, not the internal event” – Gabor Mate

“Trauma is a story that has not moved on”. It is a “story” because of the truths that your brain made of the event when it unfolded; but it may not be the full reality because of the compromised brain functioning at the time of the event; (ie logical brain not fully online at the time) – but it is set up in the body - from what all five senses took in at the time.

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The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR

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