As Father's Day approaches, I am confronted with the fact that I am forced to deal with the fact that I have to live without my loved ones... as opposed to grieving their loss. For this I used to sometimes get jealous.

Does this make me selfish?

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected]

A few weeks ago, I aske d you to tell me what books you were reading and the music that you liked that helped you with your grief... and here are your responses!

Books  The Bereaved Parent by Harriet Sarnoff Schiff A Grief Observed by CS Lewis The Long Goodbye: A Memoir by by Meghan O'Rourke Blue Nights by Joan Didion Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair By Anne Lamott The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents by Alexander Levy Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg

Music

Reflecting Light - Sam Phillips -   To Where you are - Josh Groban  Bob Dylan and Jimmy Hendrix This Flight Tonight - Joni Mitchell Not Even The Trees - Hootie and the Blowfish

Blogs: Mockingbirds at Midnight - Margaret Sloan

And even though I didn't ask, here are some other podcasts:

Grief Dreams Dear Dougy Podcast Griefcast Where’s the Grief Good Grief with Cheryl Jones

Thanks to all who provided feedback. If you'd like to add anything, please email me!

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected]

I am deathly afraid of heights. However, I needed to confront my fear while attending the Air Assault School at Ft. Campbell, KY.

During this course, you are required to complete not one but two "high" obstacles. I completed one, but was injured on the second.

I needed to convince myself that I could do something outside of my comfort zone. As a byproduct, I've learned that just because I've done something once doesn't me it'll be any easier the second time. but I can confront the anguish and anxiety that my mind feeds me to push through and achieve anything.

Confidence Climb YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCNhsbjX9Tk

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected]

I hate paying bills... It's a repetitive process that is a necessary evil in life. If we fail deal with our monthly obligations, we suffer dire consequences and life becomes stressful.

Grief is a bill that we pay as a price for losing a loved one. We must deal with it as it comes... if we put it off, the pain and stress of not facing it could overwelm us.

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected]

In this episode of the Dougy Podcast, I had an opportunity to discuss how and why I decided to start a podcast about my grief, my relationship with my father and we talk about what I've learned about myself, if anything, since starting the podcast.

Enjoy!

This episode is dedicated to Marsha Cooke in the memory of Darwyn Cooke.

As I record this episode, it is the 1 year anniversary of Darwyn Cooke's death. for those who may not know, Darwyn was a Canadian comic book writer, artist, cartoonist, and animator. He drew covers for the Batman comic franchise, including working on a project that my son loved, Batman beyond in which Bruce Wayne turns the responsibility of being Batman to a teenage boy.

One of the reasons I like Batman is because our stories are similar... His parents are murdered while he is a young boy, but somehow he fights through all of that pain and decides to channel that pain into something positive - fighting crime.

The timing of this episode is important to me, because Darwyn's widow Marsha was the first person whom I didn't know who sent me a piece of feedback.

I believe we all have an "inner grief superhero" inside of us, that is something that we have that can help others that are grieving.

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected]

Is there really a "boys don't cry culture?"

I never saw my father cry, and when he died, I didn't see any other me display a lot of emotion either. But at the same time, no one told me I SHOULDN'T cry.

I think it may come down to two things:

1. Men and women are just wired differently. I watched an episode of "Brain Games"  - http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/brain-games/episodes/battle-of-the-sexes/

2. Some men are able to get in touch with there so called "feminine side"

Why does it appear that men have a problem showing/talking about their emotions?

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected]

I completely lost it last week as I remembered the anniversary of my father's death. That got me to thinking about the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. and how I have many different emotional states that I sometimes can't manage to control.

NOTE - I just realized that I mention "her" in the podcast... That would be my mother. Sorry, Mom!!

Also let me know if there are any songs/books that help you read/listen to and how the help you in your grief recovery process. Thanks!!

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected]

I recorded this episode on Monday as I always do, and was also  attempting to release this episode early. I normally release episodes on Wednesday. After recording his episode, however, I was so overcome with emotion that I wasn't able to edit it until today.

Monday was the 39th anniversary of my father's death. Since he also died on a Monday - April 24, 1978 and this episode was recorded on Monday, April 24, 2017 today was just much more emotional for me than I thought it would be.

R.I.P. Dad - I love you!

Thanks for listening and continuing to follow me on my journey!

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected]

As the 39th anniversary of my father's death approaches, I have been thinking about a conversation I had with my mother. She says that she asked me at age 11 or 12 if I wanted to see a therapist and I told her that I didn't.

I have no recollection of this conversation, but I explore the possibilities in this episode.

After doing a little research on what therapists do (and don't do), I don't know how well I would have received therapy.

Please share this episode with a therapist if you know any... I'd be very interested to hear their thoughts!

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Music provided by Oren Levine ([email protected]