Dear Me, Love Me

Dear Me, Love Me

By Tee Boyich & Brooke UpholzerComedyHealth & FitnessMental HealthEducationSelf-Improvement
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Dear Me, Love Me episodes

  • 17- Dear Mom, Love Me

    Dear You,

    Today is a little bit different as we are celebrating mothers day and honestly have been wanting to do an episode for our mothers for quite some time now. Our mothers are very special to us and we are excited to share them with you

    We love you mom!


    Love,

    Us

    58 min
  • Mini Episode 10

    Dear You,

    Our two letters this week come from a middle school teacher giving her pre-quarantine self advice, and an 18 year old on what she knew about high school before she went

    Want write your own? Email us at [email protected]

    Love,

    Us

    25 min
  • Mini Episode 9

    Dear You,

    Here are the 2 letters from Kris & Max

    Kris:

    Dear Kris,   You are about to audition for governor’s school of north carolina’s theatre program. You are definitely nervous, but don’t worry you get in! You also start to doubt your talent and worth as an actor. You start to think about every other reason why you got in besides your talent. You start to think that you got in because they needed a black boy in the program. You start to think that they only wanted one person from your county. You start to think that your best friend who got cut did not get in because you were barely better than her. STOP IT! Even if any of those things are true, you got in because you’re talented. You worked hard to grow and learn for opportunities like these so don’t belittle yourself to being a “token” black kid, because you are talented. Don’t forget it bud.
    Love, KrisDear me,
    Wow! Freshman year! Your high school journey is about to begin, and you're gonna end up at the last place you thought you would go to school at; a yeshiva. That's right! You, a very reform Jew, are going to end up at an orthodox jewish school with no idea what you're doing. And you're gonna have to tackle the big D: depression. And by the end of the year, you're gonna end up with a diagnosis you never thought you'd get. Here are some little tips and tricks to keep in mind throughout the year. 
    1. You have a boyfriend. You adore him and you really enjoy spending time with him. He makes you feel really nice, you have great conversations with him, and he seems to really care about you. And that's great! You're going to think he's really going to help your mental state. But here's some advice. Despite how much you adore him, he really can't handle you when you're having a mental breakdown. There's nothing wrong with that; but you need to either find someone who can support you or drop him. Eventually, you will go your separate ways for other reasons, but it wouldn't hurt to break up with him a little sooner so you have more time to focus on you and your mental health. 
    2. There's going to be a lot of people at your school who don't quite understand you. And that's ok! Everyone has their own battles and their own struggles and it's not their job to worry about your's. But please keep in mind that not everyone is against you. Sure, those bullies at your school may make a big impact on how you think the school thinks of you, but you know what? Don't listen to them. They're assholes. And keep in mind, that's only 5 people out of a school of 65 people. 
    3. You're no stranger to mental health challenges, but you've never been depressed before. You're going to feel that you're the only person in the world who's going through what you're going through. But you're not. There are millions of people worldwide who are also fighting this fight. You actually know a good number of people who have gone through this and emerged a winner; talk to those people and see what words of wisdom they have to offer. Trust me, you won't regret it.
    4. You're going to have fights with your family. Big, huge, screaming and cussing fights. You're familiar with these fights, but you're not familiar with them being so frequent. In times like these, just bear in mind that they will eventually come around. They really are trying to do what's best for you. You may think that they're not, but you're wrong buckaroo- they love and care about you more than you realize, and they want nothing more than to see you happy again. Despite all the screaming and name calling. 
    5. Medicine seems like a scary thing. You're no stranger to medicine but when you hear words like "antipsychotic", you get a little bit intimidated. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions. You've been seeing her for years, she knows you very well, and she knows a lot about what she does- so don't hesitate to ask her questions and speak up about problems you're having with a medicine. And most importantly: trust her. She's been through at least 10 years of medical school. She knows what she's doing. 
    6. Dude. You're breaking out. Your skin is oily and pimple-y, and its gonna impact your self esteem a lot. Please, for the sake of your older self who wants to look at photos of you without cringing, wash your fucking face. Just a simple face scrub will do the trick. Please. 
    7. Eventually, you're going to realize that this school just isn't the right fit for you. You're going to hate a lot of things about it, and that's fine. But don't be so scared about switching to the public school. You've heard some bad things about the school, sure, but the reality is you're going to meet some of the closest friends you've ever had at that school. Unlike your old school, you're going to find friends with your same interests and passions, and you're going to be so so glad you switched. 
    8. Don't be so shy about your love and passion for theatre! So what if people think you're "gay" for it? Are they wrong? You are definitely gay! Don't lie to people you just meet saying you're into baseball when in reality you don't know anything about it. Just be authentically you! And never, ever doubt your theatrical talent. You are an amazing actor and singer, and you're only going to get better and better, and in Junior year when you're going to play Mark in Rent- one of your biggest dream roles. 
    9. By the end of the school year, you're going to start with a new therapist and over the span of a few weeks she's going to carefully study your mental health until she gives you a diagnosis that you NEVER thought you'd get. The big ol' B2D. Bipolar 2 disorder. This is going to be hard for you to digest. Its gonna take a little while for you to accept yourself. And you know what? That's absolutely valid. Stuff like this is hard. It takes time to accept stuff like this, and that's ok. You're going to think this new and scary label will mean your life is going to fall to pieces. But if you step back and think, you're still the same person. You've had these symptoms for months now; there's just a fancy label for it now. You're still you. Your symptoms will be treated thanks to amazing doctors, and you'll soon feel things will return to normal. 
    10. There will be times throughout this year you feel that there is nobody there for you. Nobody who'd notice if you just dissapeared one day. You'll find yourself very very annoying and wonder why anyone would care about you at all. You'll think that just because you don't really have any friends at school, you're not worth anything to anyone. But that is false. You still have plenty of friends through theatre and through other extracurriculars who love you to death. They have chosen you out of a million people they could've chosen to be your friend. They don't care if you're annoying. They don't care if you're a pessimist. They care that you're happy and they care that you're thriving. So go text someone! Go ask to get coffee at that adorable little cafe in Seattle called Joe Bar with someone you don't know very well. You only have one life and one shot. Go make the most of it. 
    You're going to learn more about yourself than you ever have in 1 school year this year. Its gonna have ups and downs, friends will come and friends will go. You'll have crushes on a lot of guys. You're going to learn what a hypomanic state is. You're going to discover a passion for theatre. And you know what? Every fucking one of these things are great. Being self aware is AWESOME. You're going to look back on this year and be like "wow. That was one hell of a rollercoaster. I'm so glad that happened." Savor it. Sit back, relax, keep your arms hands feet and legs inside the vehicle at all times, and enjoy the ride. 
    Love,Me. 


    Dear,

    Us

    35 min
  • 15- Dear Me, The Product of Divorce

    Dear You,

    We recorded this episode about 2 months ago. Back before the times of quarantine, and uncertainty. When we cold high five, hold hands, and comfort one another while talking about a difficult subject. I am so glad we did. This week we speak about both being children of divorce.

    Do you have a letter you want us to read on a future mini episode? Email us at [email protected]

    Love,

    Us

    1 hr 5 min
  • I'm not okay, and that's okay

    Dear You,

    We wanted to make this episode a little different. Scrolling through social media & listening to shows, watching TikToks, keeping things light is all really great. However, we wanted to let you know that we are also struggling. Struggling to find meaning in this new (&hopefully temporary) world. Some days we wake up and don't feel like getting out of bed, some days we take a Xanax nap. Someday's we aren't okay... and thats completely okay. We aren't here to ask you to listen to us bitch about our hardships, but here we are telling you that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows and telling you the struggles of this process is just as important as highlighting the positives.

    We are here for you, we are with you, and we will be back to our regularly scheduled programing on Thursday

    See you on the other side

    Love,

    Us

    37 min
  • 14- Dear Me, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. *clap clap clap clap*

    Dear You,

    Sorry again if the episode is a bit laggy or weird. We actually recorded this episode right as quarantine started and we were using the phone, so the lag was major. God bless editing and patience.

    This is our friendship episode! Brooke writes a letter about all the different types of friendships she will encounter in the future and Tee writes to her pre-college self about how to be a better friend.

    Want to be featured in a future mini episode? Email us your Dear Me letter at [email protected]

    Thanks for listening

    Love,

    Us

    47 min
  • Mini Episode 8

    Dear You,

    If you are struggling with thoughts of self harm, or have been the victim of sexual assault & are in need of someone to talk to, head over to crisistextline.org. "Text 741741 from anywhere in the US to text with a trained Crisis Counselor. Crisis Text Line trains volunteers to support people in crisis."

    Hannahs Letter:

    Dear Me,Hey there, it's yourself, writing to you in March of 2020. How's life treating you?I guess that's an unnecessary question, since I've already lived it. I know that your life isn't the best right now. I know that you're struggling academically, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I know that you've had days where you can't get out of bed. But let me tell you something: It's going to get so much better. And I know that's the one thing you don't want to hear right now. But as someone who's lived through this struggle, I've come out on the other side so much stronger. I promise you that it will get better, even if you think that's an impossibility. And I'm not saying it's going to be easy, because that would be a lie. It's not easy to get better. But it will be worth it, because you're going to be ok. You might lose some friends, but I can tell you that you're going to feel better once they're not in your life. You're going to get better, even if right now it seems like you're always going to be stuck in this dark place. It's going to be ok, because you've got parents who care about you, and friends who will drop everything to answer your calls and help you feel better.So I guess what I'm trying to say is this: hang in there kiddo. It's going to be ok. And I know this, because I'm you four months from now, and I'm doing ok. Not perfect, not even good all the time. But I'm doing ok, and that's all we can hope for. You've got this.Love,Me


    Anonymous Letter:

    Dear Me, this is the first time that I am writing to you. I never thought that I would write a letter to you someday, and definitely not in a language, that is not my first language. You know, right now is a very difficult time. And I am thinking about a lot of things, so…here is my letter to you.I am sorry.I am sorry that you had to go through eleven years of bullying, just because of being afraid to say anything. You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t listen to the people who say that. You are different, that’s true. But why should it be right to do all of those things to you, just because you listen to other music and just because you love acting for example? That’s just stupid and I want you to know that. I am sorry for worrying so much, sometimes about things that are so easy. But that’s not bad. You are like this. And if you worry about something, tell someone. Don’t keep it all to yourself, I beg you. Don’t isolate yourself. Try not to apologize so much. Don’t search for reasons to do so, because if you are honest – you want to apologize for existing. No, don’t do that. You have every right to be here. Replace some of that worry with a little hope. I am sorry for all of the things I did to you in the past. I am sorry for the scars. No, you did not deserve it. Do you hear that? You did not. You don’t need to feel pain, you are not a burden and you don’t need to do this as a punishment. You won’t feel better after it, I promise. You don’t want to live with scars for the rest of your life, just to feel a little bit better for a second. I am sorry for everything I did that was harmful to you. It was wrong. I wish there was any way to travel back in time, just to tell you that all of those people are wrong. You are a beautiful young woman, you are perfect. You don’t need to change. You don’t need to lose weight, it won’t make you happier – and by the way, you really don’t need to. Look at you. And try to see all of the things that make you so amazing. I am sorry for always telling people it was “okay”, when it was not. I am sorry for not saying anything to anybody when someone did things to you, you didn’t wanted. And that when all of this finally came up…that I said it wasn’t that bad. You have the right to feel all of this. What happened to you was not your fault, you did everything you could. I know you think it’s your fault that more girls have to deal with this now, but you are not the bad guy here. You are also a victim, you do not have to protect everyone and you deserve some love. Give yourself the care you give to others, just for once. It’s more than okay to feel things. And it’s no shame if you start to cry, because you are happy. I know you are often ashamed because that happens so often. I know people think that’s a little weird. But also – it’s cute. You are literally a person that starts to cry when people tell you things like “I like you”. That means the world to you, I know. Don’t change that. It’s perfect. I am sorry that you are alone most of the time. I know how lonely you are. But you are not alone. I know that you want specific people to be there for you, and they are not. But that doesn’t mean that you are alone. There is a difference, I know. I know exactly what you think now. But do you remember all of the hardest times in the past? And every time you felt like you had no one, someone appeared. Someone you did not expect. That’s just magical. You are not alone, to say it again. You just need to look a little bit harder. And you know what? All of those things are not important. They don’t define you. I know, if you would be asked to describe you right now, you would just tell them all the things that are wrong with you. All of the mental illnesses you deal with. But that’s not who you are. I see the obvious things: you are a talented young woman. You have an amazing voice and you can act the hell out of any part you get. You played lead roles everywhere for the past five years, and I am sure you can do that again and again. You are the most creative human being I know – I mean, girl, you wrote three theatre plays in the span of six months and you might even stage some of them now. How amazing is that? Try to see the amazing things you did until now and the things you will do in the future. So many people look up to you, there are people who want to be like you. Can you imagine that? You are a warrior. You are a survivor. After everything people did to you, everything you did to yourself: you are still standing here. You are not broken, You are so strong. You are beautiful. I want you to see that. You always tell everyone that they are beautiful as they are and that they don’t have to change. Please tell that to yourself.I know I can’t change what happened. And I know it’s not easy. I want to tell you that someday it will be over, but I can’t right now. It’s still hard. You will have to tell yourself all of this every day. You will have to fight every day. But you can do this. You are so much stronger than you think. And it will get better, even though it’s not over. It will be a little bit easier. Think of the wonderful things in life. Think of the people you look up to, be inspired. Take some time for yourself, write, sing, act, but also relax a little bit. Listen to music, listen to podcasts. I don’t know; just do something just for you and not for anybody else. And also think of other things: hugs, because I know you love them. How it feels when the sun shines on your face. Smile a little bit more, because it makes you even more beautiful. Think of the possibility of love someday. You will find love, there is someone out there. You want to achieve so many things, you can do it. I know you can. Take a breath and begin again. I love you. Sincerely, me. And yes, pun intended.


    Want to write a letter that could be featured on a future episode? Email us at [email protected]


    Love,

    Us

    19 min
  • 13- Dear Me, Body Image

    Dear You,

    Sometimes the audio in this episode gets a little wonky. It's not you its us..

    Today we tackle body image. We both are at a different stance on where we are in loving our body, and thats okay! We are learning from each other. And supporting one another*

    Love,

    Us

    *take a shot every time Tee tells Brooke that she loves her.


    59 min
  • Mini Episode 7

    Dear You,

    We will be including todays letters into the show notes for your reading pleasure! They are both amazing

    Ella:

    Dear past self…

    You’re a bad ass. You’re talented. You love this crazy competitive thing. 

    You go to the Orange County School of The Arts (OCSA) in Santa Ana and are in the Musical Theater Conservatory. You auditioned to get into this school, it took years of voice lessons, dance training, and acting coach’s to get you where you are. And after you successfully got in you would think I would say “Good Job Ella!! You did it”… nope! You are so hard on yourself dude. You go to school from 8-5 every day. You go to an INCREDIBLY competitive school. You’re constantly compared to your friends on a daily basis. Its not easy to go up every day sing your heart out and literally lay yourself out there to (mostly) only hear the negatives.You have thick skin, you handle rejection (with lots of ice cream)… you really do. But sometimes you think to yourself… is it really worth it? I know I'm not the best in my class and thats okay, I want to learn I want to dig even more into this thing I love so much but my confidence is so low. I still get butterflies in my stomach just hearing that word Broadway. And cause I still have those butterflies I know its worth it. I can’t tell you how badly I want to be up there. I KNOW I will work hard, I will give it my all even when there’s nothing left to give. SO… PAST SELF. please, stop being so hard on yourself. You’re good at this thing, trust yourself, work hard, go out and audition for anything and everything… do your part.


    Amanda

    Dear Me,


    Guess what?! You’re moving in with a BOY! I know, I know, you’re doing the math right now, and you are probably a bit perplexed that you are getting this letter from your 35-year-old self. You are probably hoping that by this time, I would be telling you that you have had a beautiful marriage with Justin Timberlake for many years. Keep your wits about you and hear me out, you horny little weirdo. Right now you are a sophomore in high school, and though you are a funny and likeable teen, you are also frizzy-haired and charming in a youthful way, so the whole “boyfriend” thing hasn’t really been a reality. You are still waiting not-so-patiently for the day you finally have a cute guy with whom you can walk down the hallway and hold hands. Now, I’ll be honest with you, you will not date a TON in high school and college, but you will have some fun, and you will learn a lot. Here are some things I want to tell you as you embark upon these next few phases of your life:

    1. Your twenties are when you truly thrive in the dating world, when you live in New York City and view your sexuality as a thing to explore and enjoy. You will feel free and un-committed, and you will finally feel sexy and desired. It’s pretty cool, and totally empowering. More importantly, you are allowed to feel sexy and desired, without shame. Listen to your gut. You know what you want. 
    2. You will experience some major heartbreaks, both in relationships and friendships, and even when you feel like you are in “the depths of despair,” (to quote the great Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables), you will realize your own strength eventually, and climb your way to happiness once again. You see, young Amanda, life is not just about boys. You will have to figure out who you are, and you have to allow for constant change and adjustment. 
    3. You will have to learn and re-learn what it means to love and be loved, and you will…you must…learn that the most important relationship you need to cultivate is your relationship with yourself. Only when you allow that important relationship to be a priority will you be truly ready to be in love and committed. Now, this does not mean that you will always like yourself or know exactly what you’re doing, but you will treat yourself with a much-deserved kindness that will only be further strengthened by the kindness and unconditional love you share with Zach. (His name is Zach, by the way. Don’t worry, he’s cute. Calm down.).
    4. You will experience a lot of changes, both internal and external. Since the age of nine, you have dreamed of living in New York City and being a Broadway star. You go to school for theatre, and you move to NYC in 2008, at the beginning of a giant economic recession. You live paycheck to paycheck, you audition, you occasionally perform, and you have many wonderful experiences during the next four years. You will also collapse on your floor and cry more often than I want to tell you. And…you will realize, with great reluctance, that New York City is not the final destination for you. This may be one of the biggest heartbreaks you ever experience. You will carry it with you. But you will be okay. You will realize that it takes strength to look back at your nine-year-old self and break that promise to her, and to trust your 27-year-old self instead. 
    5. Even though you think that leaving New York City would be the biggest change in your life, those changes just keep on coming. And they should! I am sure that my 45-year-old self would tell me the same thing if she were writing to me right now. You can both mourn and celebrate the ebb and flow of your existence. You have been a nomad since birth, moving from place to place and making a home out of impermanence, and this will continue. The challenge will be the moment you decide to stay somewhere for a while. Being stationary will become the next big adventure. 
    6. After breaking up with New York City in 2012, breaking up with theatre in 2016 will be your next big heartbreak, but one that you have to enforce for your own mental health. You will take time to explore, and you will find new interests. You will apply to graduate school and move to Maine to become a school counselor, and you will find solace in yoga and spinning classes. You will even become a spinning instructor! I know! You are currently taking academic exemptions from gym, so this one is probably hard to believe, but young Amanda, it is never too late to find the beauty of endorphins and athletics. Give it time. Basically, keep your eyes and heart open, and do not feel guilty or foolish for desiring a different path. You have not wasted your time. Everything you have done is a step toward the next part of your journey. 
    7. Finally, stop searching for “perfect.” It doesn’t exist. The perfect man, the perfect life, the perfect job…nope. Not a real thing. You are never going to be perfect. Embrace that, right now. You will thank me later.

    Young Amanda, I am so excited for you. Despite the ups and downs, the triumphs and the tears, you have a privileged and beautiful life. You are loved. You are valued. Even when you are in your deepest pit of Depression and Anxiety, you know that love and value is there, and that little light will keep you safe. Keep working on loving yourself, it is totally allowed and will someday soon be a very popular outlook - “self-care” and “self-love” are all the rage right now, and should be! The most important request I have for you is to hold on to your kindness, empathy, and zest for life. Some will tell you that you are naïve, some will tell you that you are a push-over or a door-mat, and sure, you need to work on holding your head high in the face of conflict. However, you radiate joy, you laugh loudly, and you love deeply. Honor those qualities. They are some of your best. 

    Love,

    Me



    Thank you both for submitting your letters! We appreciate you os much

    Love,

    Us

    30 min

About Dear Me, Love Me

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Dear You,